Moving Beyond Our Mistakes

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- Hey, welcome to Crossroads. My name is Andy Reider

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and you're joining us in our series Leave Lies Behind.

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Now, we've been unpacking some of the false messages

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that we pick up in culture and contrasting those

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with the truth through the lens of the Bible.

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And that song, the Good News, says it really plainly

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that Jesus loves you.

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Yeah, we believe that here at Crossroads

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and we're going to be diving into that more and more today.

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Right now, though, we're going to start our time in worship

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as we continue singing songs about God and to Him.

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And whatever you believe about God or church,

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whatever your comfort level with all of this,

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hey, we're just glad that you're here

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and just encourage you to lean into this time

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and into this music as we sing these words together.

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- Lord, that's our prayer.

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God, would You bring Your Kingdom?

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And would you help us to understand what that looks like

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and what it means, God?

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As we sing to You, as we make claims

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that we'll surrender to you.

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That I pray that You'd make Your Kingdom more known to us

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and how we're a part of that Kingdom,

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bringing light to the world,

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walking in the way that Jesus did

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because His ways are better.

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They're better for us in ways we haven't experienced before.

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So, Lord, would You help us to see Your goodness

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and help us to follow You.

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Even when we're unsure what it looks like or how to do it,

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well we just start with a prayer

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that You will come in and let Your Kingdom come.

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God, I love singing to You.

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You're amazing and You're worthy.

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It's in all this we pray. Amen. Amen. Come on.

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Hey, why don't you find somebody you don't know around you

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and give them a high five, tell them your name.

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We're one big family here.

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And then you can have a seat.

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- You need more fun in your life.

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Don't worry. We've got you covered.

00:18:13

The annual Super Bowl of Preaching

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is right around the corner.

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Don't let the word "preaching" fool you.

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This isn't for your grandparents,

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unless your grandparents are into pyrotechnics!

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No idea what the what the Super Bowl of Preaching is?

00:18:31

No problem. Amazing tailgating experience. Check.

00:18:35

Incredible event energy. Check.

00:18:38

Spectacular halftime show. Check.

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Hilarious Super Bowl commercials. Check.

00:18:44

Questionable officiating. Check.

00:18:48

This is the most fun you'll ever have in a church.

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Join us for the Super Bowl of Preaching.

00:18:55

Service times and locations at Crossroads.net.

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For decades, Super Bowl Sunday has been

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the least attended church weekend of the entire year.

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Why? Because, let's face it, people would rather

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tailgate than attend a church service.

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But what if you didn't have to choose?

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The Super Bowl of Preaching is the answer.

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It is a can't miss event that's become one of

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our most viewed and most meaningful services

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of the entire year with tens of thousands of people

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tuning in and showing up.

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It is the perfect mix of epic trash talk,

00:19:27

of hilarious and fake commercials,

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of over the top bad officiating, and most importantly,

00:19:32

truth that can actually help your life get better.

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This year, the fun kicks off

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on Sunday, February 9th at 8 a.m. eastern

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with a live stream that you can watch from anywhere.

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And this is a perfect opportunity to invite

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your friends, your family to watch with you,

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or you can even host one of

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our Super Bowl of Preaching watch parties.

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In it, you will find a unique experience

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that's as fun and meaningful as it is entertaining.

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So don't miss a chance to laugh, learn,

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and maybe even cheer a little bit.

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Thanks for joining us.

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Let's hand it over to our Senior Pastor Brian Tome.

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- Man, it's going to be a good day.

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Are you ready for this? [cheers]

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Yeah, I hope you are.

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I got something to talk about that

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I'm really, really excited to talk about.

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When I tell you what it is,

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you're probably not going to be excited.

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But hang in there, because by the end

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of our time together today, I think you might

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come into a place of freshness, a place of wholeness,

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a place of healing, a place of just joy

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that you might not have been before you came in today.

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We're talking about grace.

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It's our fourth time talking about grace.

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And I'm going to be looking at grace

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and the prerequisite of grace, which is sin.

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Oh, yeah. Let's pray about that. Okay.

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God, thank You for our time and for Your truth.

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And I'm asking, God, as I dig into this,

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man, this really, uh, difficult thing

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that we don't want to want to think much about

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and talk much about, that You would meet us

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in a great place and You'd bring us to a great place.

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And I ask You to help me to be clear, not just compelling,

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but most importantly helpful and in alignment with Your truth.

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And I'm honored, God, I'm honored that I get to talk

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about transcendent, important concepts like this.

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So I hope You're pleased.

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And I pray these things according to the character

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and identity of Jesus. Amen.

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All right. In the book of Romans 3:22, here's what it says:

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Young. Old. White. Black. Yellow. Male. Female.

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All. All who believe.

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There is no distinction: for all have sinned

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and fall short of the glory of God.

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No distinction because all of us who sin.

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What does that mean?

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Sin means there's this person of God

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and His glory and His goodness, His love,

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His perfection, His standards, and we all fall short.

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No distinction. No distinction on who He is,

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no distinction on who we are. We fall short.

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And then it continues.

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Grace, a gift, justified, we fall short.

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We are justified, it's a gift. Man, it's so good.

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You know, there's words that we like to say

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and are pretty common to say.

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Words like mistake, problem, issue,

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a shortcoming I may have, and I have--

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I have all of those and more.

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Let me tell you something about some of the mistakes I've made.

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When I was in high school, man, I don't know

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how I literally lived through high school,

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and I don't know how I got through high school

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without literally killing somebody.

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I was a hard, hardcore drinker,

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and this was in the day when you could drive drunk

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and you weren't supposed to, but like,

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it wasn't a big thing back then and a lot of us did it.

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Graduated in 1983, and I remember many, many times

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pulling into my parents garage with their Chevy Citation,

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hands on the wheel and going,

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"Wait a minute, how did I get here?

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I don't remember anything from the party until here."

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Terrifying and stupid and indefensible.

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It was a massive, massive mistake, to say the least.

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And then going into and through college

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and in my 20s, I made a lot of mistakes

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as it related to just personal drive

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and personal discipline.

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I didn't have a lot of drive.

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I didn't have a lot of discipline.

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I skated my way through everything

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and took shortcuts in everything

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and didn't want to do anything that was difficult.

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And of course, studying would be difficult,

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so I didn't want to do that.

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And somehow, crazily, crazily,

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not only did I to get an education,

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I got jobs and I get paid really, really well.

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Thank you very much for your generosity.

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I would have never, never thought that

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I would have had any level of drive.

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And no one knew me thought I would have

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in college and my early 20s.

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It was mistakes, I had issues.

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I still make mistakes.

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A couple months ago I made a whole series of mistakes.

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I'm a hunter, I love hunting,

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and so I have these deer cameras

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and they take pictures of deer that I want to kill.

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Here's some of them right here.

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These guys, man, these guys, I had their number.

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I wanted them badly. Badly.

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And going after these guys, I made a mistake --

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I've never made as many mistakes hunting as I have,

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a lot of mistakes, and probably because

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some of you are praying that I don't get a deer.

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I know what you're doing. I know, I know.

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Some of you are really bothered I'm talking about this.

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I probably should stop talking about it

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because you're all praying, or many of you

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are praying that I don't get a deer.

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Well, God said yes to your prayer because I --

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Actually He said yes to your prayer

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of me not getting a big buck.

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I got two doe's anyway because the meat is amazing.

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Fantastic. Isn't it gamey? No, it's freaking awesome.

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No, no hormones in it. Just grass fed. It's phenomenal.

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Anyway, all kinds of mistakes.

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But, you know, it's one thing to talk about our mistakes.

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It's another thing to talk about this three letter word sin.

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Sin is the truth that God has a standard

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and I don't meet it.

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God wants me to be here because that's where He is,

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and I fall short of that glory.

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Sin is there's a bull's eye,

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and I miss the mark on that bull's eye.

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We miss the mark on that bull's eye.

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And here's the thing, no one wants to talk about our sin.

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We want to talk about our mistakes.

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We want to talk about our challenges, our problems.

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All that's fine. But my sin?

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And let me tell you why we don't want to talk about our sin.

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It's because we don't understand grace.

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The more you understand the amazing grace of God,

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the more you embrace the powerful, mystical,

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awe inspiring truth of the grace of God

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that He loves and gives mercy as a gift.

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The more you understand, comprehend, and embrace that,

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the more comfortable you will be

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talking about your sin and dealing with your sin

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because your sin no longer is a source of shame

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and something that scares you,

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because it's cloaked, it's covered by the grace of God.

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That's good news.

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At any moment, if you want to clap, you can do that.

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And maybe this is an entirely new concept for a lot of us.

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You can't clap at all because, "Wait, I don't understand."

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I know you don't understand this

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because this is really, really strange.

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There's nothing in our current cultural context

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that helps us to understand grace and sin.

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And there's two lies, if you will,

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two lies that are on opposite ends of the spectrum,

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but they're both far, far, far, far away from grace.

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The first lie goes something like this,

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and you may believe this, even if you've never said it.

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"I'm an understandably flawed person

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who just needs a few helpful spiritual principles.

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That's all I need. We're all flawed.

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We all make mistakes. I'm under --

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And all I need is a few helpful spiritual principles.

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I get them from Jesus, or I get them from Buddha,

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or get them from whoever it is."

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That's actually a line that comes from

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the Christian psychologist Larry Crabb,

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who spoke here at Crossroads some time ago.

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He died a few years ago.

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But this is kind of where normal America is.

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We're that way like, "Hey, sin. Woo, hey,

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whoa whoa whoa whoa, let's-- So don't. Stop.

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Repentance? Whoa, whoa.

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I'm not that bad. I'm fine.

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I'm flawed like everybody else,

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I just need a little oomph of spirituality."

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Then the other extreme, it's also a lie,

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goes something like this, "I'm horrible,

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but I'm trying to work it out."

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This comes more likely from somebody who identifies

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as a Christian, somebody who goes to church.

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We're like, "Yeah, sin, I get it. I am that.

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I'm horrible. I've done some horrible stuff.

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I am a wretch. I am a worm.

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I embrace that identity and I'm trying to work it out,

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trying to figure it out, trying to do all the right stuff,

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trying to invite people to Super Bowl service,

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trying to volunteer as a Kids' Club.

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Trying to tithe, make a push for 10X commitments,

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separate my recycling, all that stuff.

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I'm trying to do all the -- all those things."

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And all those things are fine.

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All those things are good to do,

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but those things are not grace.

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Those things won't get us over our sin.

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Constantly reminding myself that I'm horrible

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and I don't match up, may be true that we don't match up,

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but it's not true because God has grace for you.

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He has love for you. He has mercy for you.

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He has acceptance for you,

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even when we don't understand how that could possibly be.

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This is the core of Jesus message, in the book of Mark,

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the very first thing Jesus says,

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the very first thing He teaches when he goes public is this:

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We've shared this before, and I'm going to give it again,

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because sometimes we forget.

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And this ties right into what we're looking at here.

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All right. Let's say -- let's say we have a time frame.

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I want to make this a little bit a little bit larger here.

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And of course it just went away on me. There it is.

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Let's say we've got a time frame.

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Goes kind of like this.

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Jesus says the time is at hand.

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There's two words for time in the ancient world or in Greek.

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The first word for time is chronos,

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which is where we get chronological from.

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It's chronological time.

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So on our timeline, chronological lines,

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time is that repeatable pattern.

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Seconds become minutes become hours

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become days become weeks become months

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become years become decades become millennia.

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Right? That boom, boom, boom, boom.

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But that's not the word that Jesus used here.

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When He says the time is at hand

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He's talking about another word.

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That word is the word kairos.

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And that word is the sense of, bam, oh my gosh. Boom.

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Something at a moment in time,

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at a point right here, something happened.

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So Jesus says the time has come, meaning, bam!

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At this moment here the Son of God has come to the world,

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God Himself has taken on flesh,

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and the grace of God has become physical. Bam!

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There are moments for you where something will happen

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and you'll see something about God you weren't expecting to.

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You'll feel something about God you haven't felt before.

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You'll understand something you haven't understood before.

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Tonight, if it hasn't been already,

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tonight may be a kairos moment for you.

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It's like, boom, something just happened.

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What happens when we have one of those moments?

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Well, let's follow the pattern, the pattern of Jesus here.

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He says. Uh, He says repent and believe the gospel.

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So what we do is that kairos hits,

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we kind of circle up a little bit.

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Go, "Whoa, whoa, let's go around the circle.

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Let me -- let me think about this."

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What has taken place here?

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There's two parts of repentance,

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he says repent and believe the gospel.

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Gospel is good news.

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Repent. Repent means to change your mind.

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Repentance, the word there in Greek,

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which this is written in, is metanoia.

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Meta, change; noia,

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which is where we get the idea of noggin or your mind.

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Change of mind.

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So when I'm going this way and I change my mind,

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I go, and I change my mind.

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And when I change my mind, I change my thought pattern

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and I change my direction.

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So when we repent, that means we do things,

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like we reflect, we notice something, uh, we think,

00:32:55

what just took place?

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There's mental things that are happening, maybe there's regret.

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There's these things that happen in our mind.

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And then when we refocus,

00:33:08

I could probably put that up there too, refocus.

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When we refocus, we go a different direction.

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Where you look is where you're going to go.

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If you look inward all the time at all your pain,

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guess where you're going to go?

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Inward in all your pain all the time.

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If you look back at your past all the time,

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guess where you're going to live, in the past.

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You're going to go in the past.

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Wherever you look, wherever your mind's eye goes,

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that's where you go.

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So if you're going towards an area of rebellion,

00:33:37

not just a mistake, but an area of rebellion towards God,

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you're going to go towards that

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and you're going to go away from God.

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And then you're going to have all other

00:33:45

kinds of things that happen when you go away from God:

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loneliness, depression, sense of rejection,

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a sense of isolation, a sense of powerlessness.

00:33:55

These are all things you get when you're separated from God.

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No wonder we feel this as often as we do.

00:33:59

But when I change, when I change my mind,

00:34:02

repentance, repentance.

00:34:04

This isn't an idea of somebody on a street corner

00:34:07

who's holding a cardboard sign, who's yelling

00:34:10

and screaming judgmentalism at us.

00:34:13

Repentance is a beautiful word.

00:34:14

It's like, "Man, I'm going the wrong way.

00:34:17

Boom! I'm changing my gaze. I'm changing my mind.

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And instead I'm going this way.

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This is where I am moving. I'm changing.

00:34:31

I'm going from death to life."

00:34:35

Yeah. There you go. Someone's getting happy now.

00:34:37

Right. So I'm coming up. I'm coming up

00:34:41

and I'm coming around the circle.

00:34:42

And I come around the circle, my trajectory gets changed

00:34:46

and I come out on the other side.

00:34:48

This is what the gospel is. This is what grace is.

00:34:51

God enables us to do things

00:34:54

and see things that we hadn't seen before.

00:34:56

Charles Duhigg in his book The Power of Habit, he says this:

00:35:11

You're all here today at whatever campus you're in,

00:35:15

whatever site you're in, whatever home,

00:35:18

bar or coffee shop you're in, you're in there.

00:35:20

And if you're watching it with anybody else,

00:35:22

you're leveraging this right now.

00:35:24

You are leveraging the power of a group.

00:35:27

You're experiencing something in a group context.

00:35:30

And in a little bit I'm going to give you

00:35:32

something to do in a group context.

00:35:33

I'm not going to tell you what it is right now.

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If I told you right now you'd be really freaked out.

00:35:37

But over the next ten minutes, I'm going to soften you up

00:35:40

and you're going to find out what it is. Okay?

00:35:41

But this is tracing to this truth that

00:35:45

we have to do things of potency in community.

00:35:50

Psalm 32:1 says this:

00:36:13

When I kept silent, when I kept it to myself,

00:36:16

when I kept thinking internally, when I kept going inside.

00:36:19

But when I brought it out to somebody,

00:36:21

when I confessed to somebody,

00:36:23

when I brought it out into the light,

00:36:25

there could be health and there could be wholeness.

00:36:33

See, we have these these things in our world,

00:36:38

in our life that I think are very harmful.

00:36:41

We have these phrases that we've just taken

00:36:44

as normal phrases in our culture.

00:36:48

Phrases like you be you, live your truth.

00:36:55

Don't let anyone tell you

00:36:56

who you should be or what you should do.

00:36:58

All these phrases they're reminding us,

00:37:02

"No, you're your own person.

00:37:04

Just stay inside of yourself

00:37:06

and don't listen to a communal sense.

00:37:09

Don't do that at all."

00:37:11

And all of these things are outside

00:37:13

the power of community, the power of grace.

00:37:19

And when we do talk with somebody, we tend to

00:37:22

just keep rehashing the old things

00:37:23

and bringing up all the old problems.

00:37:26

I have a mistake, I do something,

00:37:27

something happens to me that shouldn't happen to me.

00:37:30

Like, I don't know, a gerbil peed on me or a gerbil --

00:37:33

A gerbil licked me and now I lick people.

00:37:35

Let's just make one up.

00:37:36

A gerbil licked me once, now I lick people.

00:37:38

And now we got, I got this problem. This problem.

00:37:41

It's not a sin. It's a problem. It's a mistake.

00:37:43

It's a pain point.

00:37:44

And so what I do? I talk about it,

00:37:46

I go to counseling about it,

00:37:47

they patch me up and I go, "Okay, good good.

00:37:49

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I'm good."

00:37:51

And then something happens and I'm triggered

00:37:53

and I go back in, I go back in

00:37:54

and I start going this downward spiral.

00:37:56

So I go and I share it. It's part of my story.

00:37:58

It's who I am.

00:38:01

It's your -- It's who you are?

00:38:03

It happened in your past, but is that really who you are?

00:38:05

That pain is now your identity?

00:38:07

That pain is your thing?

00:38:09

So we go back into another self-help group.

00:38:11

We go read some more self-help literature.

00:38:13

We keep thinking about it. We go to another counselor.

00:38:15

We keep thinking about it over and over and over

00:38:17

and over and looking at it.

00:38:18

And I'm okay to go back.

00:38:20

I'm okay to look at things from different sides.

00:38:23

But let me ask you this, do you ever expect to be over it?

00:38:27

Do you ever expect it not to define you?

00:38:30

Here's the good news of Jesus Christ.

00:38:31

The good news of Jesus Christ is He meets us

00:38:34

where we are in that pain, and He takes us out of it.

00:38:37

He meets us where we are, where we are, and we repent.

00:38:41

We change our minds, saying,

00:38:43

"I'm not going to fixate on that anymore.

00:38:44

That's not going to define me."

00:38:46

I change my mind and I go another way.

00:38:49

This is the grace of God, and a lot of us

00:38:53

don't know how to live without that thing.

00:38:55

I got to keep saying that's my identity and that's who I am.

00:38:57

No. No, it isn't.

00:38:58

Well, what do you mean, you be you?

00:39:00

What do you mean you live your truth?

00:39:02

See, these are anti-grace slogans.

00:39:04

Those slogans say you can't change.

00:39:07

You'll never get over it. Don't try.

00:39:09

And those slogans are always said

00:39:10

by people who don't understand grace.

00:39:13

The power of God, the power of love,

00:39:17

the power of mercy, the power to do things

00:39:20

that you and I aren't normally wired to do on our own,

00:39:25

but when the grace of God comes to us,

00:39:29

we have capacities that are expanded

00:39:32

and we do bold moves, like maybe tell somebody else

00:39:37

and confess.

00:39:38

Not tell somebody, like, "Let me tell you my pain,"

00:39:42

but confess and say, "This is something that I've done

00:39:48

and it's sin and I need to move on."

00:39:53

That kind of kind of confession.

00:39:55

That, my friends, is very rare

00:39:58

which is why healing is very rare in our culture.

00:40:01

I'm not talking about physical healing, broken bones.

00:40:03

I'm -- Yeah, that too.

00:40:05

I'm talking about, like, emotional healing,

00:40:07

relational healing, physical healing.

00:40:10

We just don't see that kind of thing, like,

00:40:12

"I am responsible for my part and I'm going to say it,

00:40:16

it was sin and I'm sorry. Would you forgive me?"

00:40:21

Man, that thing I just did right there,

00:40:24

that's something you may have never said to anybody.

00:40:27

Have you ever said: I have sinned by blank and I'm sorry.

00:40:34

Would you forgive me? Period.

00:40:37

Not like, "But let me tell you my backstory."

00:40:39

No. Who cares about your backstory?

00:40:41

"No, but let me tell you why I did."

00:40:42

Why? Who cares? Are you saying you sinned

00:40:45

or are you trying to justify why you are the way you are?

00:40:48

This isn't about why you are the way you are.

00:40:50

It's about you getting to a new place,

00:40:52

a place has empowered us by grace.

00:40:55

In the book of James 5:15, it says this:

00:41:18

That you may be healed.

00:41:20

Healed of bitterness. Healed of anxiety.

00:41:23

Healed of depression.

00:41:25

Whenever I meet somebody who deals with

00:41:27

any of those things, fear, anxiety, depression,

00:41:29

the first question is always saying,

00:41:31

"Is there any sin you haven't repented of?"

00:41:33

I'm going in the deep end today, by the way.

00:41:34

Are you okay with this? Are you okay with this?

00:41:36

I don't care if you are or not,

00:41:38

I'm going to tell you anyway because I tell you

00:41:40

I have a heart for you and I feel for you.

00:41:42

And this is spiritual truth that just,

00:41:45

I don't know where else you get this,

00:41:46

unless it's a some sort of healthy, Bible believing church.

00:41:49

This is just the way you are,

00:41:52

and this is the way God has ordered your world to operate.

00:41:55

It's the way of grace.

00:41:56

And if you don't know this,

00:41:58

you're not going to encounter His grace

00:42:00

and His freedom and His healing in a powerful way.

00:42:05

Let me tell you about one of my sins just this past week.

00:42:08

I had to confess something to my wife.

00:42:12

It's not that heavy. Relax. Just relax.

00:42:14

Just release your -- Relax your butt cheeks.

00:42:17

It's not -- I know. Relax.

00:42:20

This is a relatively tame one. Okay?

00:42:23

I was coming home from work this last week,

00:42:27

and, um, long day. It was dark outside.

00:42:31

And I needed to get some gas in my truck.

00:42:35

So I pull up to the gas pumps, and there's a truck

00:42:39

like at the pumps right ahead on the one side of the island.

00:42:42

And it's a truck.

00:42:44

It's got like some junk in the back of it.

00:42:45

It's got some -- I can't tell if he's taking

00:42:47

to the dump or what he's got.

00:42:48

He's got some stuff in the back.

00:42:50

He's got the the back tailgate that's down.

00:42:53

He's got some straps in there.

00:42:54

And so I'm going to pull up behind him in the next pump.

00:42:57

And so I'm pulling up and I don't want to hit him

00:43:00

or that tailgate so I stop. You know, all good. Get out.

00:43:03

I start going back, put my credit card in, pumping.

00:43:06

And I see this guy.

00:43:07

This guy looks, we're at the same island.

00:43:10

This guy looks at me, he goes [gestures],

00:43:13

and he walks, he walks, he walks the back of his truck

00:43:15

and he goes like this. And then he comes back.

00:43:18

He looks at me and he goes, looking at me like that.

00:43:21

And he goes back. He goes back to his pump.

00:43:24

He's pumping and he's muttering, looking at me,

00:43:27

and like, wrong time, wrong guy, dude.

00:43:33

Especially when I look at you immediately

00:43:34

and I know I can take you.

00:43:36

Like, that's always -- that's always when you're bold,

00:43:39

when you look at somebody, "I could take you." Right?

00:43:42

So I'm just in a bad mood, right?

00:43:44

So I, I walk up, "What!? What do you want?

00:43:55

Plenty of room."

00:44:00

He backs down. Okay. Good. Fine. So I go back.

00:44:04

Go back and I'm watching him.

00:44:05

He's like swearing under his -- He's giving hand signals.

00:44:08

He's like trying to be sly

00:44:10

about how he's giving me the finger

00:44:11

by brushing his hair and stuff like that.

00:44:13

And I'm like, I'm going, I'm going, all right.

00:44:17

I was going to go inside and get something,

00:44:19

and I can't do that now.

00:44:21

I can't leave my vehicle here because

00:44:22

this vehicle will get damaged if I leave it.

00:44:24

So I just stay there.

00:44:26

I stay there and while I'm staying there

00:44:28

and he's getting done, he's done.

00:44:30

I see his truck go away.

00:44:31

Fortunately,

00:44:32

he goes the opposite way that I'm going to go.

00:44:34

And then it then it starts sinking in.

00:44:36

I have a kairos moment, like, boom, I realize,

00:44:40

"Okay, what is wrong with me? What is going on here?

00:44:44

Uh, I reacted like I wanted to get violent really quickly.

00:44:48

How tired am I right now?

00:44:51

What is going on in my life right now?

00:44:54

I know Jesus says, turn the other cheek,

00:44:56

and I certainly did not turn the other cheek.

00:44:59

What? That was really stupid.

00:45:01

I was -- I'm obviously not being like Jesus here.

00:45:06

This is -- I gotta unpack this. This is not good at all"

00:45:10

So I get done with my truck, I get in and I drive home.

00:45:15

And I'm thinking about it as soon as I go home.

00:45:17

So I go in, I see Lib.

00:45:18

I said, "I gotta tell you what happened."

00:45:19

Not like I just want to fill you on my day.

00:45:21

Tell you something funny and laugh about it.

00:45:23

And like, make you feel like your husband

00:45:25

won't get pushed around.

00:45:26

No, not that wasn't that kind of thing.

00:45:29

It was like, "This thing happened. It's horrible.

00:45:32

I don't -- I don't know what's going on with me.

00:45:34

I just it's -- I, I was wrong. This is sin.

00:45:38

I gotta, I gotta get to a new place."

00:45:40

Right? We had some good words and that was confession.

00:45:44

And I was looking forward to it.

00:45:46

I was looking forward to it because

00:45:47

I knew she wasn't going to judge me.

00:45:49

And I also knew God, though he was disappointed in me,

00:45:52

He wasn't judging me because He's a God of grace.

00:45:54

And I knew by bringing it out and talking about it

00:45:58

I would get a sense of healing,

00:46:00

I would get a sense of of closure from it.

00:46:03

1 John 1:9 says this:

00:46:26

When I say, we say, "I don't have any sins.

00:46:28

I just have some understandably flawed,

00:46:31

I just have some mistakes."

00:46:32

When we say that we make Him a liar

00:46:33

because His truth has always said, Jesus said,

00:46:36

"I, out of grace and love for you,

00:46:38

I've gone to the Cross.

00:46:39

I've turned the other cheek eternally.

00:46:41

I've gone to gone to the Cross

00:46:43

and taken the justice for you, so you don't need to.

00:46:46

So if you think that you didn't need Me to go to the Cross

00:46:50

because you're all good, it's all good,

00:46:51

then you've made me a liar.

00:46:52

I guess I didn't need to do that, huh?"

00:46:57

And Jesus says, "I did that because I love you

00:47:01

and because I have a purpose and plan for you

00:47:05

and because My grace is sufficient for you.

00:47:07

I want to cover you with My grace."

00:47:11

And one of the ways this comes out is with other people

00:47:15

and confessing to other people,

00:47:17

letting other people into your world.

00:47:22

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German pastor.

00:47:25

He died in prison as he was part of

00:47:29

a plot to kill Adolf Hitler.

00:47:32

And he was in Germany at the time,

00:47:34

one of the very few pastors that had a backbone

00:47:38

and was trying to stand up for truth.

00:47:39

And he was doing that because he was motivated by grace actually.

00:47:44

He had a term that he coined called cheap grace,

00:47:47

when we take it for granted and we abuse it.

00:47:50

And it is in one of his reflections, he says this:

00:48:02

See, the pride of the flesh makes me want to say,

00:48:04

"Hey, I'm understandably flawed. It's just a mistake.

00:48:06

It's just that anybody would have done it.

00:48:08

You would have done it too, if you were in my position

00:48:10

and you understood my story."

00:48:11

This is what this is all pride,

00:48:13

which is another sin you could repent of, pride.

00:48:16

And he continues and says this:

00:48:34

Gift of grace.

00:48:37

Jesus's most famous story He ever told,

00:48:40

we've told her a number of times here.

00:48:41

I'm not going to go all the way into it,

00:48:43

but I'm going to look at an angle of it

00:48:44

that we haven't gone into.

00:48:46

It is in the book of Luke.

00:48:48

It's the longest story that He ever told.

00:48:51

It's known as the Prodigal or the Prodigal Son.

00:48:55

And again, I'm not going to go

00:48:56

into deep weeds on all the story,

00:48:57

but let me just give you this background.

00:48:59

I'm going to dig into an element of the story

00:49:02

that I really haven't unplugged too much.

00:49:04

Two brothers. One brother says to his father, says,

00:49:08

the younger brother says, "You know, dad,

00:49:10

I just don't want to be around you.

00:49:12

I would rather have my own stuff.

00:49:14

I don't want to work for you.

00:49:15

How about if you just pretend that you died

00:49:17

and you give me my inheritance right now?

00:49:19

Because I just want to go do my own thing."

00:49:21

That's kind of what all of us naturally do.

00:49:24

"God, I really don't want to --

00:49:25

I really don't want to follow You.

00:49:27

I really don't want to be in Your family.

00:49:28

Just give me the blessings that I might get someday

00:49:31

so I can go do my own thing.

00:49:32

Because I really don't want to do what You want me to do.

00:49:35

I want to go out and do it."

00:49:36

And so this father, representing God,

00:49:39

does what God does for all of us.

00:49:40

"You don't want to be with me. Okay, fine.

00:49:42

Go, go, go, go! Go away. Get your own life."

00:49:45

And so the kid goes out and he spends

00:49:47

all his money on wine, women and song.

00:49:50

And he finds himself feeding pigs,

00:49:53

which is a horrific thing in a Jewish culture

00:49:55

to feed something that's unkosher.

00:49:57

That's how low that he's gone.

00:49:59

That's how much he's sunk down.

00:50:00

That's how much healing that he needs.

00:50:02

He needs financial healing.

00:50:03

He needs relational healing.

00:50:04

He needs spiritual healing.

00:50:06

He needs physical healing because he's hungry.

00:50:08

And here's where the story, here's the story picks up.

00:50:11

But when he came to himself.

00:50:13

Came to himself. What does that mean?

00:50:15

Came to his senses. This is a kairos moment.

00:50:18

He was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:50:20

What is going on?" He has a kairos moment here.

00:50:44

He's practicing a confession.

00:50:48

Father, I've sinned against heaven and you.

00:50:50

Sinned against the constitution of heaven,

00:50:53

all the truth that's represented in heaven

00:50:56

and sinned against you.

00:50:57

There's no like, "But God -- But, but, but. But, father."

00:51:00

He's not rehearsing this in his mind, going,

00:51:01

"But, father, you know that I was frustrated.

00:51:04

And my older brother. Father, you know

00:51:06

it's kind of hard to do all the things you want me to.

00:51:08

Father, you know." That's what we do.

00:51:10

Like, we're like we're okay to take some responsibility

00:51:12

but I'm going to give you all the backstory.

00:51:15

Because my sin of pride is keeping me

00:51:17

from actually giving the real real.

00:51:19

But this guy, he's come to a place of like,

00:51:21

"No, no, no, I'm practicing. This is all on me.

00:51:24

Uh, this was just wrong." Verse 20:

00:51:36

This is our graceful heavenly Father.

00:51:39

He gives grace even when we don't deserve it.

00:51:42

Son doesn't deserve it. Son said I wish you were dead.

00:51:45

Son said I want to leave you.

00:51:46

But there's still love, acceptance, and grace available.

00:51:50

And the son said to him, he just basically says

00:51:52

what he has rehearsed:

00:52:18

He says -- his actions say it all.

00:52:20

He doesn't even have to say I forgive you.

00:52:23

You know he's forgiven when he says,

00:52:24

"Hey, put a ring on his finger.

00:52:26

That's my identity. That's the family wealth.

00:52:28

Put shoes on his feet so he can get up off the ground.

00:52:31

Wrap a cloak around him. That's his identity.

00:52:34

Wrap him in my identity. We're going to celebrate."

00:52:38

Because I'm not -- this, this, this, this man

00:52:41

who Jesus is representing as God,

00:52:43

he doesn't fixate on the past.

00:52:45

We fixate in the past.

00:52:47

We keep analyzing it and analyzing it.

00:52:50

We keep doing it. But no, He doesn't. He doesn't.

00:52:52

He's saying, "I don't need to talk about it anymore.

00:52:54

You came forward. You confessed.

00:52:56

Let's go, let's go. Chop, chop."

00:52:57

Do you realize you can have that with God right now?

00:53:01

Do you realize whatever you're done,

00:53:03

no matter what you've done, there is a grace,

00:53:07

graceful God, who wants you

00:53:09

to practice the grace of confession.

00:53:17

Here at Crossroads we're really holding out

00:53:20

and praying and working for the dream of an awakening,

00:53:22

that the Spirit of God would sweep across our land

00:53:25

and do amazing things in individuals lives

00:53:27

and in our culture.

00:53:29

Revivals and awakenings are somewhat similar,

00:53:32

identical to many people,

00:53:33

but I think there's some differences there.

00:53:35

A number of a couple of years ago,

00:53:37

there was a revival down in Asbury College in Kentucky.

00:53:41

College kids and other people from all over the country

00:53:43

were coming and worshiping 24/7 for on and on and on.

00:53:46

It was really, it was really powerful and profound.

00:53:50

At that college, Asbury College, it's a link

00:53:53

to the Methodist and the Wesleyan tradition.

00:53:56

It's named after Francis Asbury, who rode on horse

00:54:01

6000 miles a year on horse to go to pioneer villages

00:54:05

and share the grace of who Jesus was.

00:54:08

Somewhere like 26-30,000 miles he's logged on a horse.

00:54:13

If you've never been on a horse ride for a mile,

00:54:15

you have no idea, it is horrible. Horrible. Right?

00:54:22

Well, he comes from the tradition of John Wesley.

00:54:25

He was discipled, he was built into by John Wesley

00:54:29

that founded basically Methodism because of his methods.

00:54:33

And his brother Charles Wesley

00:54:34

was the musician and the hymn writer,

00:54:37

and John Wesley was the author and preacher.

00:54:40

Wesley would have 21 questions

00:54:43

that he would ask people to consider

00:54:45

as we considered our sin and our need for grace.

00:54:49

I'm going to share these with you.

00:54:51

I'll just go through them quickly,

00:54:53

because oftentimes we think of sin

00:54:55

we only think of like the big ones,

00:54:57

like adultery, embezzlement.

00:55:00

Those are sin for sure. That's big stuff for sure.

00:55:02

And there's grace that's sufficient to cover that.

00:55:05

But what about the other ones

00:55:06

that are just normal small sins of rebellion?

00:55:10

I say small, I say small because

00:55:11

it's never going to make the news

00:55:13

and normal people would say, "Oh, that's no big deal."

00:55:15

What is the big deal? Big deal.

00:55:17

Anytime we step outside of the standard of God

00:55:20

that's there for our freedom, it's a big deal,

00:55:22

it's a moment of rebellion. Here they are.

00:55:24

I'll go through them so quickly, 21 of them.

00:55:27

Am I consciously or unconsciously creating

00:55:29

the impression that I am better than I really am?

00:55:33

In other words, am I a hypocrite?

00:55:34

In other words, do I have a social media account?

00:55:37

Number two. [laughter]

00:55:39

Am I honest in all my acts and words,

00:55:42

or do I exaggerate?

00:55:44

Do I confidentially pass on to another

00:55:47

what was told to me in confidence?

00:55:50

Can I be trusted?

00:55:52

Am I a slave to dress, friends, work, or habits?

00:55:58

Am I self-conscious, self- pitying, or self-justifying?

00:56:03

Did the Bible live in me today?

00:56:07

Do I give it time to speak to me every day?

00:56:11

Am I enjoying prayer?

00:56:14

When did I last speak to someone else about my faith?

00:56:18

Do I pray about the money I spend?

00:56:22

Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?

00:56:26

Our bodies are created by God,

00:56:27

He wants us to take care of it. Am I taking care of it?

00:56:30

Do I disobey God in anything?

00:56:34

Do I insist upon doing something

00:56:36

about which my conscience is uneasy?

00:56:40

Am I defeated in any part of my life?

00:56:44

Am I jealous, impure, critical,

00:56:46

irritable, touchy, or distrustful?

00:56:49

How do I spend my spare time?

00:56:53

Am I proud?

00:56:55

Do I thank God that I am not as other people,

00:57:00

especially as the Pharisees who despise the publicans?

00:57:03

Or especially the people who are in politics

00:57:06

on the other side of the aisle?

00:57:08

Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown,

00:57:12

criticize, hold resentment toward, or disregard?

00:57:16

If so, what am I doing about it?

00:57:18

Do I grumble or complain constantly?

00:57:28

We'll take about a minute to see if

00:57:32

the Spirit of God might do something in you right now.

00:57:36

Let me see if you have a kairos moment,

00:57:37

if you haven't already had one.

00:57:39

Just see if these, of these 21 things,

00:57:42

is your heart drawn to it or repulsed by it?

00:57:46

Is your mind drawn to it?

00:57:47

Let's just see if God may be speaking to us.

00:58:27

Okay. Here's what we're going to do.

00:58:29

We're going to give you the opportunity

00:58:30

to come under the grace of God.

00:58:33

We're going to give you the opportunity

00:58:37

to have some healing.

00:58:40

And you get to do this.

00:58:42

You opted into this thing today

00:58:44

because I think you wanted to get pushed,

00:58:46

and you want to get to another place.

00:58:49

And I'm going to give you the opportunity to do that.

00:58:52

You're going to get to confess.

00:58:55

You're going to confess to somebody right beside you.

00:58:59

It might be best if you see someone beside you

00:59:02

who you don't know, might be easier to confess to them.

00:59:05

This can be really, really quick.

00:59:07

And if you don't want to, just hold your --

00:59:10

Cross your arms and look down and people get the clue.

00:59:13

Now it's okay, maybe there's something else going on. Fine.

00:59:16

Well, a lot of us, this is rare for this.

00:59:17

You haven't done this before, but this could be

00:59:19

the thing that unlocks some healing in you,

00:59:22

some freedom in you.

00:59:23

This is a moment to experience grace.

00:59:26

So here's what you're going to do.

00:59:28

You're going to turn to that person

00:59:30

and you're going to say, "My sin is that I..."

00:59:36

You're not going to give the backstory.

00:59:39

You're not going to explain it.

00:59:40

This isn't counseling.

00:59:42

"My sin is that I blank."

00:59:47

And then the person who is receiving

00:59:49

they're going to say something really easy,

00:59:51

even if they don't believe this,

00:59:52

they're going to say this,

00:59:53

and this is going to be truth,

00:59:55

it's going to be real, real simple.

00:59:57

It's going to be, "By the grace of Jesus, you are forgiven."

01:00:03

By the grace of Jesus.

01:00:04

And then we're going to switch.

01:00:07

And then we're going to do something else.

01:00:09

So I'm going to give you, here we go. Um, yeah. Yeah.

01:00:14

It's time, it's time, it's time to step up

01:00:15

and do something you haven't done before.

01:00:17

Sometimes that's what spiritual growth is.

01:00:19

This the means of grace, so there's the script.

01:00:22

Find somebody. It shouldn't take long.

01:00:25

Person one. Ready? Go.

01:00:42

Okay, good. Good.

01:00:43

It's all you needed, person one. That's it. That's it.

01:00:47

I gave you more than enough time. Good.

01:00:51

Okay. The person who was the receiver,

01:00:54

now you're going to be the confessor.

01:00:58

So go ahead, person two,

01:01:00

confess to the person who just confessed to you.

01:01:19

By the grace of Jesus, you're forgiven.

01:01:23

You're forgiven, every one of you. You're forgiven.

01:01:26

[applause] Good.

01:01:29

I have developed a bit of a friendship with a guy

01:01:33

by the name of Dallas Jenkins.

01:01:36

He has created this series, the best series

01:01:39

that's ever been done on Jesus called The Chosen.

01:01:42

And I was reminded of this scene that he did

01:01:48

where there's a woman by the name of Mary Magdalene,

01:01:52

also known as Mary of Magdala.

01:01:54

And it said of her, she's one of

01:01:56

the early followers of Jesus, who is kind of

01:01:58

with the 12 disciples just hanging in that court.

01:02:01

And it said of her in the book of Luke

01:02:03

that she had seven demons.

01:02:06

Now I happen to believe in literal, actual demons.

01:02:10

So I believe it was just, yeah,

01:02:11

she had literally seven demons.

01:02:13

You could still get something out of it,

01:02:14

even if you don't believe that she had demons,

01:02:18

that maybe that was representative of seven things

01:02:20

that were dragging her down.

01:02:22

Whichever way you choose to go right now,

01:02:25

I think you're going to connect with this clip

01:02:27

as she is in this crazed state

01:02:32

and she encounters the grace of Jesus for the first time.

01:02:50

- Leave me alone!

01:02:56

- Mary.

01:03:05

Mary of Magdala.

01:03:19

- Who are you?

01:03:21

How do you know my name?

01:03:23

- Thus says the Lord who created you

01:03:28

and he who formed you,

01:03:32

"Fear not,

01:03:37

for I have redeemed you.

01:03:41

I have called you by name.

01:03:45

You are mine."

01:03:59

[sobbing]

01:04:23

- Do you need anything?

01:04:25

- Where is He? - In His tent.

01:04:29

- Should I wait?

01:04:31

- No, no. I'll take you to Him.

01:04:52

- It's not you.

01:04:55

There's quite a lot going on right now.

01:05:08

So it's good to have you back.

01:05:16

- I don't know what to say.

01:05:18

- I don't require much.

01:05:25

- I'm just so ashamed.

01:05:28

You redeemed me and I just threw it all away.

01:05:33

- Well, that's not much of a redemption

01:05:34

if it can be lost in a day, is it?

01:05:36

- Yeah.

01:05:40

I owe you everything,

01:05:44

but I just don't think I can do it.

01:05:48

- Do what?

01:05:51

- Live up to it,

01:05:55

repay You.

01:05:56

How could I leave?

01:05:57

How could I go back to the place I was?

01:06:00

And I didn't even --

01:06:02

I didn't even come back on my own.

01:06:06

They had to come get me.

01:06:12

I just can't live up to it.

01:06:16

- Well that's true. - [sobs]

01:06:19

- But you don't have to,

01:06:23

I just want your heart.

01:06:26

The Father just wants your heart.

01:06:30

Give Us that, which you already have,

01:06:34

and the rest will come in time.

01:06:39

Did you really think that

01:06:40

you'd never struggle or sin again?

01:06:43

I know how painful that moment was for you.

01:06:45

- I shouldn't.

01:06:47

- Some day, but not here.

01:06:57

- I'm just so sorry.

01:07:02

- Look up.

01:07:04

- [sobs] I can't.

01:07:08

- You can. Look at Me.

01:07:18

I forgive you. - [sobs]

01:07:24

- It's over.

01:07:45

[music]

01:11:16

- There will come a day that we won't have to

01:11:17

think about a confession message anymore,

01:11:21

because there'll be no need to confess someday.

01:11:23

In the moment it's just a regular discipline of grace

01:11:26

that we get to operate by,

01:11:29

and we need to be reminded of it

01:11:31

and see the beauty of Him and the love,

01:11:34

the joy He offers, the endless chances that He gives

01:11:38

because of His mercy.

01:11:41

So I'll close with this charge.

01:11:42

Why don't we all stand up? Let's all stand up.

01:11:46

I'm just going to speak the Bible to you

01:11:47

because this is true for you.

01:11:49

It comes from Psalm 103:10, and here's what God says to you.

01:12:21

Yes. [applause] That's the grace of God.

01:12:26

Walk in it this week. Live it, breathe it.

01:12:29

We'll see you next weekend.

01:12:33

- Brian just invited us in to confession

01:12:35

and prayer with the people around us.

01:12:36

That includes you. That includes me.

01:12:38

We don't want you to miss out on this

01:12:39

and you've got two options.

01:12:41

First, find someone that you trust,

01:12:43

maybe it's a close friend, or a mentor, or even your spouse

01:12:45

and have a moment of confession with them.

01:12:48

It might feel weird.

01:12:49

It might feel a little uncomfortable.

01:12:50

It probably will. And that is okay.

01:12:52

Just lean into it.

01:12:54

Growth almost always starts where our comfort zone ends.

01:12:57

Option number two, if you're thinking,

01:12:59

"I don't have anyone to do that with,"

01:13:01

we've got you covered.

01:13:02

We actually have an incredible team

01:13:03

that is ready to jump in.

01:13:04

Just head to Crossroads.net, click the chat button.

01:13:07

We have real people that are awesome,

01:13:09

the team that I get to work with all day, every day.

01:13:11

They'd love to pray with you and help you

01:13:13

take your next step in your walk with God.

01:13:15

Now, before we wrap up, I just love to pray for you.

01:13:18

Father, thank You that You give us confession

01:13:20

as a tool to greater levels of hope and freedom and joy,

01:13:25

and that it helps us just put things to the wayside,

01:13:28

like shame and guilt and fear.

01:13:31

God, help us to lean in and experience healing

01:13:34

and new life on the other side of this.

01:13:36

In Your Name, Amen.

01:13:38

Guys, thank you so much for staying with us

01:13:40

and joining us today.

01:13:41

Don't forget, next week is the Super Bowl of Preaching

01:13:44

and is going to be amazing.

01:13:45

Fake commercials, trash talk, bad officiating,

01:13:48

real truth, all of it. You name it.

01:13:50

Grab your friends, get your snacks, join us.

01:13:52

You don't want to miss it. We'll see you guys then.

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