Pride Is Toxic | The Cure Week 3

“Build your personal brand.” “Perfect your image.” “Like, share, and subscribe!” We live in a world driven by the fake versions of ourselves we present to the world. We don’t want others to see our flaws, faults, or mistakes, so we put on a pride-fueled show to make it look like we’ve got our crap together. The good news is that there is a cure—join us today as Chuck talks about how humility is the path out of the endless trap of pride

  • 00:00:02
    We're talking about one of the biggest toxins
  • 00:00:04
    in our culture today, it destroys your relationships,
  • 00:00:07
    it will keep you at odds with God and we're finding the cure.
  • 00:00:11
    And believe it or not, the cure is in this abandoned house.
  • 00:00:20
    - Hey, I'm Brian, Senior Pastor at Crossroads.
  • 00:00:22
    Before we get started today, I want to show you
  • 00:00:24
    some really, really cool things have happened
  • 00:00:26
    through our church over the past year.
  • 00:00:28
    We all know 2020 had crazy stressful times,
  • 00:00:32
    the world seemed to be falling apart at various times,
  • 00:00:35
    and yet God was using our church Crossroads
  • 00:00:37
    to make a significant difference.
  • 00:00:39
    Every year we do an annual report.
  • 00:00:42
    We just try to celebrate the things that God
  • 00:00:44
    has enabled to happen through our church,
  • 00:00:46
    through faithfulness of givers like you and I.
  • 00:00:49
    And the list of things that have happened
  • 00:00:51
    just keeps getting longer and longer.
  • 00:00:53
    And it gives me more reason to be thankful for God using us
  • 00:00:56
    and thankful to be in ministry with you.
  • 00:00:58
    And I want you to feel that way, too.
  • 00:01:00
    So we've got an annual report and it's pretty, pretty cool.
  • 00:01:04
    We want you to get it.
  • 00:01:05
    You're going to be able to get it
  • 00:01:07
  • 00:01:08
    We're going to email it to you.
  • 00:01:10
    We want you to be able to have it.
  • 00:01:11
    Go through this and see the amazing things that happened.
  • 00:01:15
    You're going to see things like Compassion International.
  • 00:01:18
    You know, there's all kinds of churches
  • 00:01:20
    that wanted to help with Compassion International,
  • 00:01:22
    having kids get sponsored to have lunches
  • 00:01:25
    and their education taken care of all the way through 18.
  • 00:01:29
    Do you realize that Crossroads is the only church
  • 00:01:31
    in 2020 that didn't cancel.
  • 00:01:33
    40% of all new sponsorships to Compassion International
  • 00:01:37
    came through our church and through our broadcast.
  • 00:01:39
    Way to go. That's utterly amazing.
  • 00:01:41
    You can check that information
  • 00:01:43
    and so many more right here on this annual report.
  • 00:01:46
    And one of the things I love when I look on this
  • 00:01:48
    is just the basic life change,
  • 00:01:50
    because that's always what we major in:
  • 00:01:52
    normal people like you and I come to know Christ
  • 00:01:55
    and getting deepened in our life with Christ.
  • 00:01:57
    And all of this happens, in part,
  • 00:01:59
    because God uses the giving of you and I.
  • 00:02:02
    There's a very small percentage of us that when we give,
  • 00:02:05
    we give out of a spiritual discipline.
  • 00:02:08
    It's a minority of us actually that take it personal
  • 00:02:10
    that it's a commandment from God to actually give back
  • 00:02:13
    to Him 10% of what He's just given me.
  • 00:02:16
    And if that is years as a spiritual discipline,
  • 00:02:19
    you're welcome to join many of us on the blue team.
  • 00:02:22
    We'd love to have you on the blue team.
  • 00:02:24
    You can go to
  • 00:02:26
    We give you special encouragement,
  • 00:02:28
    special information,
  • 00:02:29
    and we really, really geek out over stuff like this.
  • 00:02:32
    And some of us might be going, "Um, I might want
  • 00:02:34
    to try that blue team. That sounds really cool,
  • 00:02:38
    but I'm not tithing. I'm not ready."
  • 00:02:40
    We really believe this is a spiritual test
  • 00:02:44
    that God tells us that it's a spiritual test,
  • 00:02:46
    the book of Malachi says test us.
  • 00:02:48
    So you can take the tithe test by tithing for 90 days
  • 00:02:52
    and we will refund all the money you've given
  • 00:02:54
    if you don't see God showing up and blessing your life
  • 00:02:57
    in some way, shape or form.
  • 00:02:58
    You can go to
  • 00:03:02
    Well, check out every little bit & corner of this annual report.
  • 00:03:06
    You're going to be encouraged.
  • 00:03:07
    You're going to be thankful that we serve a God
  • 00:03:10
    that still uses people like you and I.
  • 00:03:12
    And let's get started with week three of The Cure.
  • 00:03:19
    - Deep in the South African wild, the black mamba snake
  • 00:03:21
    is one of the deadliest in the world.
  • 00:03:24
    The snakes fangs act like a hypodermic needle,
  • 00:03:26
    injecting venom quickly and efficiently.
  • 00:03:29
    It only takes two drops of venom to spread toxic poison
  • 00:03:32
    throughout the bloodstream.
  • 00:03:35
    Luckily, if you act quickly, there is a cure
  • 00:03:37
    and you can survive.
  • 00:03:39
    First, a tourniquet is used
  • 00:03:40
    to stop the spread of the poison through the body.
  • 00:03:43
    Next, oxygen and respiratory support is given
  • 00:03:46
    because the heart and lungs are weakened
  • 00:03:48
    from the spread of toxins.
  • 00:03:50
    Finally, the antidote to the venom is injected
  • 00:03:52
    directly into the bloodstream to neutralize
  • 00:03:54
    and eventually overcome the poison that is being spread.
  • 00:03:58
    Now, while few of us will actually ever encounter
  • 00:04:01
    a black mamba, maybe even more dangerous
  • 00:04:03
    are the toxins we encounter every day.
  • 00:04:06
    Navigating our current reality can feel like
  • 00:04:08
    a dangerous and terrifying jungle
  • 00:04:10
    full of snakes ready to bite.
  • 00:04:12
    And just like a snake venom travels through our bodies
  • 00:04:15
    and attacks our organs, the poisons of racial injustice
  • 00:04:18
    and polarizing politics that assault us in our news feeds
  • 00:04:21
    and social media accounts can quickly spread
  • 00:04:24
    through our minds and hearts to damage and shut down
  • 00:04:27
    our healthy thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and actions.
  • 00:04:31
    The good news is that while deadly, there is actually a cure
  • 00:04:35
    to everything toxic in our lives,
  • 00:04:36
    an antidote within our reach that will restore health
  • 00:04:39
    and vibrancy to our minds and hearts.
  • 00:04:42
    Just like treating a deadly mamba bite,
  • 00:04:44
    we can cut off the poison of pride
  • 00:04:46
    that tells us that we have to stay in control,
  • 00:04:48
    turning instead to the cure of humility.
  • 00:04:51
    When our bodies and souls are shutting down
  • 00:04:54
    under the stress of daily life, we can fill our lungs
  • 00:04:57
    with life sustaining support from the Bible, the Word of God.
  • 00:05:00
    And when it feels like our broken hearts will never heal
  • 00:05:03
    and there is no hope, we can inject ourselves
  • 00:05:06
    with the truth of God, the antidote that will neutralize
  • 00:05:09
    the poison affecting our entire world.
  • 00:05:20
    - In his autobiography, Mark Twain opens by saying,
  • 00:05:22
    "What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts
  • 00:05:25
    and his words, his real life is led in his head
  • 00:05:29
    and is known to none but himself."
  • 00:05:31
    What is he saying there?
  • 00:05:33
    He's saying the externals of our life are kind of a facade.
  • 00:05:36
    And what really is going on is happening inside of our lives.
  • 00:05:40
    I mean, this house is an example of that. Think about it.
  • 00:05:42
    This place right now is a mess. Look at this.
  • 00:05:44
    There's plaster. There's all kinds of broken floor.
  • 00:05:47
    But in its heyday, this place was palatial
  • 00:05:50
    by the standards of the day.
  • 00:05:51
    But because all the focus was on the facade,
  • 00:05:54
    this place literally rotted from the inside out.
  • 00:05:57
    And that's what pride does.
  • 00:05:59
    We're in a series called The Cure, because look around,
  • 00:06:02
    the world is toxic and you and I experience those side effects.
  • 00:06:07
    But there is a cure that leads to freedom.
  • 00:06:09
    And this week we're looking at the cure for pride.
  • 00:06:12
    Now, I want to just tell you something about me
  • 00:06:14
    that you should probably know.
  • 00:06:15
    I used to sell drugs in New Jersey.
  • 00:06:17
    In fact, I was so good at selling drugs in Jersey
  • 00:06:20
    that I was promoted and got actually more people
  • 00:06:22
    who were selling drugs for me in other states.
  • 00:06:24
    Let me clarify.
  • 00:06:25
    I was a pharmaceutical rep, it was legal.
  • 00:06:28
    I was a pharmaceutical sales rep
  • 00:06:29
    and I led a pharmaceutical sales team
  • 00:06:31
    and that meant I interacted with physicians.
  • 00:06:33
    And in that role, I learned how physicians think about diseases
  • 00:06:36
    and how they process to identify a cure.
  • 00:06:40
    And we're going to do that with pride today.
  • 00:06:42
    Tim Keller is a pastor and he said
  • 00:06:44
    pride is the carbon monoxide of sin. It's deadly.
  • 00:06:47
    I agree with that.
  • 00:06:49
    My take is pride is silent and hard to detect,
  • 00:06:52
    just like carbon monoxide.
  • 00:06:53
    And if left undetected, it kills.
  • 00:06:55
    In fact, pride is one of those sins, one of those toxins
  • 00:06:59
    that we usually realize a bit too late
  • 00:07:02
    after it's already destroyed a relationship
  • 00:07:04
    or perhaps already isolated us from the help that we need
  • 00:07:07
    or put us at odds with God.
  • 00:07:09
    And there's just no life in opposition to God.
  • 00:07:13
    So we're going to walk through it like a physician would
  • 00:07:15
    by first looking at the signs and symptoms of pride.
  • 00:07:26
    So just what are the signs and symptoms of pride?
  • 00:07:30
    Well pride is not new, people have been writing
  • 00:07:32
    about pride for years, hundreds of years.
  • 00:07:34
    But are seven symptoms that kind of
  • 00:07:36
    just run through all the literature.
  • 00:07:38
    And I think they're even relevant today.
  • 00:07:40
    The first is fault finding.
  • 00:07:42
    You know, that person that always seems to find
  • 00:07:44
    fault in other people, but never in themselves?
  • 00:07:46
    Another one is a harsh spirit, someone who's just mean,
  • 00:07:50
    someone who just seems to have a kind of
  • 00:07:52
    an air of superiority over other people.
  • 00:07:54
    Also superficiality.
  • 00:07:56
    You know that person that like, "Gosh, can you get deep?
  • 00:07:58
    Can you can you not just give me the surface?"
  • 00:08:01
    But then there's also defensiveness.
  • 00:08:03
    Presumption before God is another one.
  • 00:08:05
    This idea that, you know, God must be okay
  • 00:08:07
    with me being desperate for attention.
  • 00:08:10
    Or how about this one? Playing favorites,
  • 00:08:12
    choosing to treat people who have more resources
  • 00:08:14
    or more influence over where you want to go,
  • 00:08:16
    treating them better than you would treat other people.
  • 00:08:19
    You know those people. You know those people.
  • 00:08:21
    The question is, where are we those people?
  • 00:08:23
    I've got to tell you,
  • 00:08:24
    in preparation for this message on pride,
  • 00:08:26
    I've just realized that it's all about me.
  • 00:08:29
    It's always been about me.
  • 00:08:30
    Right now, even as I'm talking to you, I'm thinking about me.
  • 00:08:34
    I'm thinking about me.
  • 00:08:36
    I've been looking at my life
  • 00:08:38
    and realizing pride in a lot of different places.
  • 00:08:40
    One of them is this whole idea of fault finding.
  • 00:08:42
    And here's what's interesting.
  • 00:08:44
    I've been realizing this dialog goes on in my head all the time.
  • 00:08:49
    It goes on when I'm reading something.
  • 00:08:50
    It goes on right now as I'm communicating.
  • 00:08:52
    It goes on when I'm trying to be a good father
  • 00:08:55
    or trying to be a good husband.
  • 00:08:56
    And it's three voices.
  • 00:08:57
    There's the voice of the enemy.
  • 00:08:59
    Yes, you have a spiritual enemy
  • 00:09:01
    and he's always going to accuse you.
  • 00:09:03
    Then there's the voice of God, the voice that is not accusing,
  • 00:09:07
    the voice that's inviting me, that's encouraging me.
  • 00:09:09
    But there's a third voice
  • 00:09:11
    and it's this voice of self condemnation.
  • 00:09:13
    I've got to tell you, I've realized that
  • 00:09:15
    one of the ways that pride plays out in me
  • 00:09:17
    is I just condemn myself over and over again
  • 00:09:21
    for the ways that I don't measure up. Why?
  • 00:09:24
    Because somehow I think I'm supposed to be perfect.
  • 00:09:26
    Somehow I'm supposed to be a good guy.
  • 00:09:28
    I'm supposed to be the person who can be better than this.
  • 00:09:30
    I'm supposed to be the person who can get over this thing.
  • 00:09:33
    I'm supposed to be the person
  • 00:09:34
    that doesn't struggle in this way.
  • 00:09:35
    And I'm just telling you, I've been listening to that voice
  • 00:09:38
    for far too long and I feel like God's been helping me
  • 00:09:41
    to see that's pride in me, that pride in me.
  • 00:09:45
    Another way of pride shows up in my life is in superficiality.
  • 00:09:47
    I never want people to see me upset.
  • 00:09:51
    I have taken on the identity of being the nice guy,
  • 00:09:54
    and I've taken that on to a fault.
  • 00:09:57
    It doesn't mean I need to be a jerk,
  • 00:09:59
    but it means that it's okay to have a range of emotions.
  • 00:10:02
    And pride is the thing that would keep me from demonstrating
  • 00:10:06
    that I have a full range of emotions,
  • 00:10:08
    that I'm not always happy go lucky.
  • 00:10:11
    These signs and symptoms of pride
  • 00:10:13
    show up in all of our lives.
  • 00:10:15
    Where is Pride showing up for you?
  • 00:10:18
    Thankfully, though, there is a cure.
  • 00:10:21
    There is a cure and the cure is found in the Bible.
  • 00:10:24
    In fact, the cure is found in the person of Jesus.
  • 00:10:28
    Jesus is the ultimate example of what it looks like
  • 00:10:32
    to walk free of the toxin of pride.
  • 00:10:35
    And in Philippians 2 we see this scripture that defines
  • 00:10:40
    and describes the journey that you and I are invited to go on
  • 00:10:43
    to have freedom from pride.
  • 00:10:53
    So we talk signs and symptoms and we have a diagnosis,
  • 00:10:56
    the disease is pride and we all suffer from it, even me.
  • 00:11:00
    That's supposed to be a joke.
  • 00:11:03
    But what's the cure?
  • 00:11:04
    Well, we see in the scripture this simple principle.
  • 00:11:08
    And I want you to hear this,
  • 00:11:10
    if you don't hear anything else today,
  • 00:11:11
    that the cure for pride
  • 00:11:13
    is the practice of humility.
  • 00:11:15
    Yes, the practice of humility.
  • 00:11:18
    Now, when I say practice, think about it this way.
  • 00:11:21
    What's the cure for obesity?
  • 00:11:23
    Well, for most of us, it's the practice of healthy eating.
  • 00:11:26
    And in the same way, there are practices
  • 00:11:29
    that we can engage in that come against the toxin of pride.
  • 00:11:32
    In places in the Bible like Philippians 2
  • 00:11:35
    this gets blown out.
  • 00:11:36
    And I love this picture because it gives us
  • 00:11:39
    the picture of Jesus as one who practices humility.
  • 00:11:42
    Philippians 2:3 and following say this:
  • 00:12:22
    Now there are modern day translations of the Bible,
  • 00:12:25
    modern day paraphrases of the Bible.
  • 00:12:27
    There's one in particular called The Message,
  • 00:12:29
    and I love how it captures what we just read.
  • 00:12:31
    It says: Don't push your way to the front.
  • 00:12:35
    Don't sweet talk your way to the top.
  • 00:12:37
    Put yourself aside.
  • 00:12:39
    In fact, as I read this, I just want you to think
  • 00:12:41
    about how many times you hear the word privilege,
  • 00:12:43
    just kind of locked down in your brain right now.
  • 00:12:45
    It goes on to say:
  • 00:13:30
    There's just no escaping the fact that Jesus
  • 00:13:32
    is a powerful example of a life of humility,
  • 00:13:35
    that in all the things that he was,
  • 00:13:36
    he was humble, he was humble.
  • 00:13:39
    And as we think about what we learn in that passage,
  • 00:13:41
    we see some clues, we see some ways that you and I
  • 00:13:45
    can do like Jesus did, that we can have a life
  • 00:13:48
    and a practice of humility.
  • 00:13:49
    The first thing it says is do nothing
  • 00:13:51
    out of selfish ambition or conceit.
  • 00:13:53
    You know what that reminds me of?
  • 00:13:54
    It reminds me to ask myself, what's your intent here, Chuck?
  • 00:13:58
    Is my intent to look good, even at the expense of others?
  • 00:14:03
    Is my intent in a relationship in maybe
  • 00:14:06
    a difficult conversation to be right
  • 00:14:09
    as opposed to being relational?
  • 00:14:11
    Am I going into this to tell or am I going into this to learn?
  • 00:14:14
    So it starts with our intent.
  • 00:14:17
    But then it also says, don't just look to your own interests,
  • 00:14:20
    but also to the interests of others.
  • 00:14:22
    There's this idea that humility means you defer to other people.
  • 00:14:26
    It doesn't mean you demean yourself.
  • 00:14:28
    It doesn't mean that you don't have healthy boundaries.
  • 00:14:30
    But there's an opportunity and a freedom
  • 00:14:32
    that a humble person has to defer to others,
  • 00:14:34
    to consider other people's perspectives.
  • 00:14:37
    Such a critical, critical thing.
  • 00:14:39
    And then in verse seven it says that Jesus emptied himself.
  • 00:14:42
    He took the form of a servant, like we read in the paraphrase,
  • 00:14:46
    it means he laid aside privileges.
  • 00:14:48
    You know what I realized? Pride is about privilege.
  • 00:14:51
    There are places in my life where I feel privileged.
  • 00:14:53
    I feel privileged to judge other people
  • 00:14:55
    or I feel privileged to be right,
  • 00:14:57
    or I have the privilege to say, "Hey,
  • 00:14:58
    let's make this all about me."
  • 00:15:00
    But practicing a life of humility
  • 00:15:02
    is actually doing the opposite.
  • 00:15:03
    It's laying aside that privilege and choosing to be humble.
  • 00:15:15
    - Nineteen years ago, I started my own business.
  • 00:15:18
    Like a lot of entrepreneurs, I didn't really have a plan,
  • 00:15:20
    just a dream of what I thought my business could be
  • 00:15:22
    and a strong work ethic.
  • 00:15:24
    As the business started to grow, I remember feeling
  • 00:15:27
    a really healthy sense of pride,
  • 00:15:29
    seeing the blessings it was creating for my family,
  • 00:15:32
    for our first employees, and for our customers.
  • 00:15:35
    I don't remember when it happened,
  • 00:15:37
    but things started to change.
  • 00:15:38
    Pride created a shortcut to what I wanted,
  • 00:15:41
    and it didn't involve actually putting in the hard work
  • 00:15:43
    that I used to.
  • 00:15:44
    Instead, I was just attracted to situations
  • 00:15:47
    where I could get the feedback that I needed, the validation.
  • 00:15:52
    It all culminated for me in 2012 when we had a company retreat.
  • 00:15:56
    We brought everybody in from all over the country.
  • 00:15:59
    I stood there on stage that day in front of hundreds of people
  • 00:16:02
    and delivered a plan.
  • 00:16:04
    There really wasn't anything wrong with the plan,
  • 00:16:06
    except that I hadn't done the work
  • 00:16:08
    to make the plan successful.
  • 00:16:10
    Pride had hollowed out the hard work that I used to put in,
  • 00:16:14
    and instead I was enjoying the feedback
  • 00:16:17
    I was getting about the plan.
  • 00:16:18
    Within a month, it became clear
  • 00:16:20
    that I was going to lose everything.
  • 00:16:22
    I remember dropping to my knees in my office
  • 00:16:25
    and just crying out to God
  • 00:16:27
    and I felt like I heard His voice again.
  • 00:16:30
    But that day, hearing God's voice again,
  • 00:16:33
    I knew there was a way forward. I knew I could rebuild.
  • 00:16:35
    Pride wasn't an illness I could just recover from
  • 00:16:38
    and be done with forever.
  • 00:16:39
    Pride is always there lurking in the background.
  • 00:16:42
    The only way I found to consistently break
  • 00:16:45
    the false identity pride tries to create
  • 00:16:47
    is by turning to humility.
  • 00:16:49
    The changes in my life, my marriage,
  • 00:16:52
    and my business are unbelievable.
  • 00:16:55
    I'm really glad God gave me what I thought I wanted
  • 00:16:58
    so I could learn what I really needed.
  • 00:17:08
    - So I've been doing these experiments.
  • 00:17:10
    I've been doing experiments because I know
  • 00:17:13
    I have an issue with pride.
  • 00:17:15
    And I've been doing these experiments as a way
  • 00:17:17
    to understand the ways that pride is playing out,
  • 00:17:20
    where is that toxin showing up in my life,
  • 00:17:22
    and also to walk in more freedom.
  • 00:17:24
    One of the experiments is called Look at That.
  • 00:17:27
    And it's just this recognition that what pride wants to do
  • 00:17:30
    is get me to soak in all the glory and admiration possible.
  • 00:17:33
    Pride is me wanting to be praised, wanting to be affirmed,
  • 00:17:37
    wanting to always be the hero, to fight for the accolades.
  • 00:17:40
    And so here is what it's looked like to lean into that
  • 00:17:43
    in the way of a challenge.
  • 00:17:45
    It's been to defer to other people,
  • 00:17:47
    to find places to give praise to others.
  • 00:17:49
    One example that came up in the last couple of weeks for me
  • 00:17:51
    was there was an event that the organization
  • 00:17:54
    that I lead, Undivided, was doing, and it was a great event.
  • 00:17:57
    We did it on Martin Luther King Day and it was powerful.
  • 00:17:59
    A lot of people loved it.
  • 00:18:00
    They were like, "Man, this is great."
  • 00:18:02
    You know, at an event like that where you're the leader,
  • 00:18:04
    you're the person who's kind of doing some of the key speaking.
  • 00:18:07
    So people are like, "Man, it was powerful
  • 00:18:08
    to hear what you had to say."
  • 00:18:10
    And I had to make a very conscious choice to say,
  • 00:18:12
    "Hey, listen, I think that event was amazing.
  • 00:18:15
    And what you need to know is all of what you heard from me
  • 00:18:18
    and all the other speakers was orchestrated by my friend,
  • 00:18:22
    my friend, who is leading in that area of our organization.
  • 00:18:26
    And she did an incredible job."
  • 00:18:27
    And so it was an opportunity for me to practice humility
  • 00:18:30
    by saying, "You know what? Yes.
  • 00:18:31
    There's a level of praise and accolades coming my way,
  • 00:18:34
    but really that needs to be refocused over here
  • 00:18:36
    because her leadership is what made that possible."
  • 00:18:40
    Another practice is, or another challenge you might say,
  • 00:18:43
    is saying these words: It's my fault.
  • 00:18:47
    Say it with me: It's my fault.
  • 00:18:49
    I know it's hard for some of you to say that.
  • 00:18:51
    Come on, you can say it. It's my fault.
  • 00:18:55
    Because what pride wants us to do is to judge
  • 00:18:58
    everybody else's imperfections and to almost ignore
  • 00:19:01
    and be blinded to our own.
  • 00:19:03
    And so one of the places where I've been leaning into this
  • 00:19:06
    is just finding ways to say I'm sorry when I'm wrong
  • 00:19:09
    and being proactive about that.
  • 00:19:11
    I hate saying I'm sorry.
  • 00:19:13
    Am I the only one? I hate saying I'm sorry.
  • 00:19:15
    I want to be right. I want to be the good guy.
  • 00:19:17
    I want to be the person who did it right.
  • 00:19:19
    But man, I make mistakes all the time.
  • 00:19:22
    I offend people.
  • 00:19:23
    I fail people.
  • 00:19:25
    So here's one that came up as an experiment opportunity for me.
  • 00:19:29
    It was with my kids.
  • 00:19:30
    You ever have to say you're sorry to your kids?
  • 00:19:33
    Yeah, I've had to do that a bunch of times.
  • 00:19:35
    One that was it was it was the morning,
  • 00:19:37
    we're getting ready for school. I was just flustered.
  • 00:19:40
    My kids didn't have anything to do with the way my day started.
  • 00:19:42
    And I was already flustered before I started
  • 00:19:44
    to get them up and ready for school.
  • 00:19:45
    So, of course, every little thing.
  • 00:19:47
    "Get your boots on, shoes on. Why does this take so long?"
  • 00:19:49
    I was just flustered
  • 00:19:50
    and I was just basically taking out all of my kids.
  • 00:19:53
    So I get them to school and as I'm kind of opening the door
  • 00:19:56
    and getting them out, my oldest son looks at me and he says,
  • 00:19:59
    "Dad, Dad, Dad, just take a deep breath."
  • 00:20:03
    I stopped and he got out and went to school.
  • 00:20:07
    And I went to work, which I got to on time,
  • 00:20:09
    all that flustering and blustering
  • 00:20:11
    didn't mean I was late.
  • 00:20:12
    And the first thing I did was I sat down
  • 00:20:14
    and I wrote my son an email and I said, "Hey.
  • 00:20:17
    I took that deep breath you asked me to take,
  • 00:20:20
    and you were right and I was wrong."
  • 00:20:23
    I had to tell him in that moment, in that morning
  • 00:20:25
    you were more mature than me.
  • 00:20:27
    You're the son, I'm the parent, but you were acting
  • 00:20:29
    much more parent-ly than I was in that moment.
  • 00:20:32
    I was wrong."
  • 00:20:33
    It was an opportunity to practice humility.
  • 00:20:36
    You know what? It bonded us relationally in a great way.
  • 00:20:39
    Then here's another experiment I've been doing is this one,
  • 00:20:42
    I've been saying these three words: I need help.
  • 00:20:47
    I need help, because what pride wants us to do
  • 00:20:52
    is to not ask questions.
  • 00:20:53
    I think this is actually
  • 00:20:54
    the most insidious thing pride will do.
  • 00:20:55
    Pride will keep you isolated from the help you need.
  • 00:20:59
    It will keep you from asking for it in the places
  • 00:21:02
    where you could have incredible growth and incredible freedom.
  • 00:21:05
    It assumes that you're an independent expert
  • 00:21:07
    on everything.
  • 00:21:08
    And none of us, none of us are without places
  • 00:21:12
    in our lives where we need help.
  • 00:21:13
    And a lot of us know we've got places in our life
  • 00:21:15
    we need a lot of help.
  • 00:21:16
    So you know what my practice, my experiment has been?
  • 00:21:20
    I've been seeing a therapist. I've been going to therapy.
  • 00:21:23
    And it's an opportunity for me to talk about life
  • 00:21:26
    with someone who can help.
  • 00:21:28
    I've got a lot of new things happening in my life,
  • 00:21:30
    a lot of change.
  • 00:21:31
    I've been struggling with a lot of insecurity
  • 00:21:33
    and lack of confidence, and I've found a place
  • 00:21:36
    with this therapist to process that,
  • 00:21:38
    to talk through that, to get the help that I need.
  • 00:21:42
    And so I'm telling you,
  • 00:21:43
    it's been changing my life to do that.
  • 00:21:45
    So, I want to give you a prescription
  • 00:21:49
    because let's be honest,
  • 00:21:50
    let's be honest now, when you go to the doctor
  • 00:21:53
    and you have a disease, you have a sickness,
  • 00:21:55
    you don't want the doctor at the end of the medical visit
  • 00:21:57
    to just say, "Hey, you know what,
  • 00:21:58
    I don't have anything to give you,
  • 00:22:00
    but I want to encourage you to keep on going."
  • 00:22:02
    No, you want something, right? "Give me a prescription."
  • 00:22:04
    Hey, I want to give you a prescription.
  • 00:22:06
    If you recognize that pride and the toxicity of pride
  • 00:22:10
    is playing out in your life, I want to challenge you
  • 00:22:13
    to do one or maybe all three of the experiments
  • 00:22:16
    that I've been doing.
  • 00:22:17
    So that's the prescription: practice humility.
  • 00:22:21
    But you can't do that on your own, you can't.
  • 00:22:24
    And the Bible doesn't expect you to.
  • 00:22:27
    The writer of Philippians earlier,
  • 00:22:29
    before all those verses where we get the,
  • 00:22:31
    hey, look at the example of Jesus and do these things,
  • 00:22:33
    he actually gives us the motivation for this,
  • 00:22:36
    the power with which we can practice humility.
  • 00:22:39
    He says this in Philippians 2:1
  • 00:22:52
    You know what he's saying there?
  • 00:22:53
    He's saying when you remember how much Jesus loves you,
  • 00:22:57
    it helps you love others, it helps you defer to others.
  • 00:23:01
    When you take comfort from the love of Jesus,
  • 00:23:04
    you won't seek comfort
  • 00:23:05
    in needing the esteem of other people.
  • 00:23:07
    That's what he's saying.
  • 00:23:08
    This is how we live out the practice of humility.
  • 00:23:11
    And so I just want to encourage you to take the prescription,
  • 00:23:16
    because toxicity from pride will kill.
  • 00:23:19
    It will kill all kinds of things in your life,
  • 00:23:21
    but there is so much life and so much joy
  • 00:23:25
    on the other side of pride.
  • 00:23:27
    Let's agree, let's agree to practice this together so we can
  • 00:23:31
    have more of the freedom that God wants for us in this area.
  • 00:23:33
    Let me pray for you.
  • 00:23:35
    God, I do ask that for every person
  • 00:23:37
    who is engaging right now,
  • 00:23:39
    you would point out the places in our lives
  • 00:23:42
    where we have been affected by the toxic pride
  • 00:23:46
    that just affects humanity
  • 00:23:48
    and help us to lean into these practices of humility
  • 00:23:52
    and ultimately, Jesus, to lean in to you,
  • 00:23:55
    to experience a life of freedom on the other side of pride.
  • 00:23:59
    In Jesus's name, Amen.
  • 00:24:03
    You know, perhaps one of the biggest ways
  • 00:24:05
    we can practice humility is by posturing ourselves
  • 00:24:09
    and singing to God together. Let's do that now.
  • 00:26:31
    - So what we're going to do right now is we're simply
  • 00:26:33
    going to posture ourselves in a position of gratitude,
  • 00:26:37
    saying, "God, we want to thank You for what You're going to do
  • 00:26:41
    in all of these different aspects of our lives
  • 00:26:43
    and in our future and our purpose and our families
  • 00:26:48
    and our homes and our cities.
  • 00:26:50
    We're going to lift up gratitude
  • 00:26:51
    over all these different aspects of our life.
  • 00:26:54
    This is what we've seen people do all throughout history,
  • 00:26:57
    the people of God responding in humility
  • 00:27:02
    to a God who was gracious to us day after day after day.
  • 00:27:07
    So regardless of your situation right now,
  • 00:27:10
    I want to challenge you to respond in gratitude right now.
  • 00:29:48
    We'd love to sing a blessing over you.
  • 00:29:51
    Right now where you are we want to bless you.
  • 00:29:55
    Your purpose, your future, your family, your house.
  • 00:30:00
    So, would you put your hands like this
  • 00:30:02
    in a posture of receiving right now?
  • 00:30:04
    Put your hands like this.
  • 00:30:07
    And we're simply going to sing God's intentions over you.
  • 00:30:12
    You can agree simply by singing the name of Jesus with us.
  • 00:30:16
    So we'll sing over your future,
  • 00:30:19
    over your house, over your purpose, Jesus.
  • 00:30:23
    And if you don't have the courage to speak it,
  • 00:30:26
    simply whisper the name of Jesus with us right now.
  • 00:33:35
    - And that kind of surrender is the key to overcoming
  • 00:33:39
    the pride that wants to control you and wants to control me.
  • 00:33:41
    And look as your pastor for Crossroads Church online,
  • 00:33:44
    I want to be there for you on that journey.
  • 00:33:46
    If I can help you in any way, get you connected,
  • 00:33:48
    get you the care that you need, please reach out.
  • 00:33:50
    Please let me know. You can just e-mail me.
  • 00:33:52
    This is my email address right here. Not a junk mail box.
  • 00:33:55
    Doesn't go to a robot, it goes to me.
  • 00:33:56
    I'll do my best to reach out to you within 24 hours
  • 00:33:59
    and if you need help right now,
  • 00:34:01
    go to our website
  • 00:34:03
    Click that orange chat icon.
  • 00:34:05
    Someone is waiting to talk to you right now.
  • 00:34:08
    Next week to keep going in the series called The Cure.
  • 00:34:10
    Brian will be talking about the key to overcoming the fear
  • 00:34:14
    that wants to control you and wants to control me.
  • 00:34:16
    We'll see you then.

Process, journal or discuss the themes of this article - here's a few questions to get the ball rolling...

Welcome to the Weekend Follow-Up. The questions below are for the weekend of Feb. 27 & 28, 2021.

  1. Lets begin with sharing what your favorite thing is about yourself and why?

  2. Pride can be hard to detect. It could show up when we choose not to be vulnerable or only focusing on people who get us what we want. Discuss as a group signs or symptoms of when pride has impacted you.

  3. What’s the place in your life that you see pride show up in most often? How is it affecting you today?

  4. Read Philippians 2:3-8. The practice of humility is the cure for pride. Let’s take a step in choosing humility this week. It could be giving praise to others, taking appropriate fault in your imperfections, asking for help, or any act of kindness that goes beyond yourself. Share with the group one way you will choose humility this week.

  5. Close your time together in prayer. “God we ask that you point out the places where we have been affected by pride. Help us lean into the practice of humility and follow you Jesus so we can experience a life of freedom on the other side of pride. Amen.

More from the Weekend

Groups are where you can be known, grow, and live life to the fullest. Find a group here.

0 people are discussing these questions

(This stuff helps us figure out how many fruitcakes to make come December)

You must include at least one person

Got it! Enjoy your discussion.

Feb 27, 2021 34 mins 32 sec

Recent Series