Give Your Son a Gift With This Camp

Eighteen summers to develop him into the man you hope he becomes, and the man God calls him to be.

Do the math. How many summers remain?

My son is only eight years old, but it already feels like I’m running out of time. Ten more summers left.

If you’re anything like me, you might be starting to feel the pressure—the pressure to make every second count. And if you’re not feeling the pressure yet, take this one into account: After the age of 18, you’ll have spent 90% of all of your total time on earth with your son.*1 Feel anything now? (That one got me good.)

Let me up the stakes a bit more. The list of influences in your son’s life is long. Make no mistake, our sons are being discipled (a fancy word for being trained) into some present and future version of themselves. And the question is not, “Is your son being discipled?” It’s, “Who or what is doing the discipling of him?”

Now, maybe your son is plugged into a club, sports team, or youth group in some way, shape, or form. Great. Research tells us that we need up to five other adults who are actively investing in our kids for them to mature into their full potential.*2 So these can be great influences.

But research also shows that when it comes to passing on our faith to our sons, there is a relationship that matters most. You guessed it. Dad*3.

And most of us realized, maybe from our own dads, that not just information or a set of principles will do. If you want to pass down your faith, wisdom, and anything good at all to your son, your best asset is time, and your best tool is your presence. What your son needs more than anything, from you, is you.

I think we all inherently know the importance of being present and available for our kids. But then life just punches us in the face (or maybe it feels more like a straight kick to the nether regions). My day can often look something like…

• Wake up early.
• Go to the gym.
• Skip breakfast.
• Drop kids off at daycare.
• Go to work.
• Come home.
• Dinner.
• Practice a sport with a kid.
• Yard work.
• Avoid looking at the unfinished project you know you should be working on.
• Pretend like you’ll get to that after the soccer games on Saturday.
• Get kids to bed.
• Pass out.
• Repeat.

We end up doing a lot of good things, many of them for our sons. And in the process, we (I) can miss the big picture. My role as a dad isn’t to give my son the perfect childhood, though I do hope he builds amazing memories growing up in our family. And it’s not to be the best at his favorite sports, though I’m as competitive as the next guy and love helping him excel at them. My job is to help him become a man of deep faith and strong character, someone who knows he’s loved and knows how to love others. It’s to help him become the kind of man who follows God boldly, even when the world pulls the other way.

I was recently confronted with this truth as I had to make a decision between attending Father Son Camp with my son, and him missing several travel baseball games. We went to camp for the first time last year, and my son was all in. He asked if we could come back every year. And I made the commitment that I would attend with him as long as he’s willing to go, because I’ve read the popular books on fatherhood. They all essentially say the same thing. Be intentional. Come up with a plan. Execute it.

Legendary football coach Tony Dungy once said, “Fear being successful at things that don’t matter.” Going to his travel games wouldn’t have been inherently a bad thing. But I know it would’ve been the easy thing—where I don’t have to take the risk of emotionally, physically, and spiritually trying to connect with my son. I’d just have to show him how to correct his swing and buy us some fast food after, which, with how tired I often feel throughout a week, sounds pretty great at times.

But it’s small decisions like this, made over and over again, that can allow time to slip out of our grasp if we’re not careful. A decision here. A decision there. Before we know it, our sons are grown and out of the house.

Ultimately, I told the coach that if my son made the team, he would miss that weekend of games, even though I wasn’t sure whether it would hurt his chances. Then I invited the coach and the other dads to join me for Father Son Camp. I sent a text. I got one response. Will any of them come? I don’t know. But I do know that I don’t want to become successful at the wrong things. I want my son to know what’s most important to me, and actions speak louder than words. Father Son Camp was now going to be a part of my plan. Even if I fail at everything else each year, I know that camp is there as an anchor I can count on.

Dads, Father Son Camp is a big deal. It’s worth sacrificing for. It gives your son what he needs most: One-on-one time and undivided attention with the most influential person in his life.

Father Son Camp works because it has a sense of adventure built in. There are other dads who are heading in the same direction, building into their sons, and who will also build into yours. There’s some challenge involved. You get to figure things out together with your son. Never camped before? Great. Problem solve together. Build a fire. Do an obstacle course. Buy the biggest water gun you can afford and dominate as a team. There are speakers who will encourage both you and your son spiritually. And most importantly, it creates space for conversations to come up, naturally, without all the noise of everyday life.

And here’s the best part. It’s all planned for you. You just show up. It’s like a prebuilt discipleship tool.

If you’re on the fence about signing up, do it. Don’t become successful at the wrong things. Be successful at the thing that matters most.

Research:

1: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html#:~:text=During%20my%20first%2018%20years%2C,to%20college%20and%20then%20later

2: https://fulleryouthinstitute.org/stickyfaith

3: Barry Saylor, “Families and Faith: How Religion Is Passed Down Across Generations by Vern Bengston,” October 18, 2023.

Bengtson, Vern L. Families and Faith: How Religion Is Passed Down Across Generations. Oxford University Press, 2013.

Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.

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