You are not a bad mom

RELATIONSHIPS | 5 mins

Jesus is in the business of calling out lies. So here’s something I think he’d say to you on Mother’s Day.

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You are not a bad mom.

I know you think you are one, but you are not.

Yes, there are bad moms in the world. Moms who abuse or abandon their kids. But if you are reading an article written by a church about being a mom, then I think it’s safe to assume that you are not one of those moms.

How do I know you think you’re a bad mom? Because every mom feels that way. It appears to be the #1 way that evil attacks moms in this world. I’m around a lot of moms right now, and they all feel the same way as you do. You can hear it in their voice when they talk about how they can’t get their kids to eat anything beyond chicken nuggets and jello. You can see it in their face as they ponder how they had to yell at their kids to stop screwing around and get to bed. You can sense it in their tone as they give you the update on how their kids seem uninterested in their future as their junior year winds down.

Also, I’ve watched my amazing wife struggle with that lie for nine years. Not only while keeping our three young girls alive through food and arranging healthcare, but also while trying to teach them how long they have to brush their teeth so they don’t turn yellow, or what it takes to wipe properly so they don’t get a rash, and all the while trying to keep them happy with creative activities. I see that lie come at her hard when, just to make things work, she has to default to a fast food drive through for dinner, or to putting on a movie to get just a few moments of peace. And the lie rages when she starts thinking about whether they are on the right path or if they’re set up for success. It hits her every day—I’m a bad mom. It’s a lie, because she’s not. And it kills me to see it in her, and in you.

You are not a bad mom.

When He created the world, God chose to make moms essential. He chose an arrangement where we literally cannot survive without a mom for the first year. He chose to make us in a way where our moms are usually our greatest source of support and encouragement throughout our entire lives. And when he came to Earth, he chose to do it in a way that his mother would play a critical role.

I wonder, did Mary ever think she was a bad mom? My bet would be “yes.”

I don’t worship or revere Mary like my Catholic friends, but it’s safe to assume that she was a special mom. God chose her. The angel told her, “You have found favor with God.” And she lived one of the craziest lives one could imagine. I’m certain there were times she felt insane and times she felt she royally screwed up.

What about the time she couldn’t provide a comfortable bed for her newborn son (Luke 2:7)? “I’m a bad mom.”

What about the time she lost her twelve year old son for three days (Luke 2:41-46)? “I’m a bad mom.”

What about the time her son refused to see her (Matt 12:46-50)? “I’m a bad mom.”

What about the time she watched her son be executed as a criminal (Mark 15)? “I’m the worst mom in the world.”

I’m sure she felt she was a bad mom, but she wasn’t. And you’re not either.

If the mother of the son of God messed up from time to time, it’s ok for you to do so too. Sure you don’t do things perfectly. Sure your kids struggle. Sure you get tired, frustrated, mad, weary. But that just makes you human, it doesn’t make you a bad mom.

You are not a bad mom.

In the Bible, the source of evil is called the “Father of lies.” Don’t fall for it. Jesus, on the other hand, called himself the truth. And Colossians 22 says if you follow him, you are presented “holy, and blameless, and above reproach before him.”

So, on this Mother’s Day, if you know and have accepted Jesus, stop believing the lie that you are a bad mom and instead accept that you are good and blameless in front of him.

You are not a bad mom.

Happy Mother’s Day! And thank you for what you do.

Written by Rob Seddon on May 10, 2019