What Matters To You? | FreedUp Week 5

What do you value? The things that matter most to you will be the things that define your life. When we’re gone, those values will be our legacy—what is left behind for the generations that come behind you. But many of us never stop to give those values a second thought. Today Kyle talks about the legacy we leave behind and why it matters.

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    Do you want to know a life changing secret
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    hiding in plain sight?
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    In the end your entire life, mine, too,
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    will be summed up in only 60 characters,
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    four lines, 15 characters per line.
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    That's the average length of a gravestone epitaph.
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    This video is about how to get ahead
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    and write your own epitaph now
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    so that you like the four lines
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    you're going to leave behind.
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    The key to writing your own epitaph
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    is your personal answers to four critical questions
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    that most people, frankly, never even ask.
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    By the end of this,
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    you'll not only know the questions,
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    but you'll have the beginning of each of your answers.
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    I was 22 years old the first time
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    that I wrote my own epitaph.
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    This is actually it right here.
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    In at the time since I've had
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    this little piece of paper,
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    I've gone through three jobs,
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    four houses, seven cars,
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    I've gotten married, I've had three kids.
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    But I've held on to this for more than 15 years
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    because it was a life altering experience
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    that changed the massive decisions
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    I didn't even know I was about to make
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    over the next several years.
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    Like what career to pursue, who to marry,
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    what house to buy and whether or not to have kids,
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    all of it.
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    And if I didn't have this,
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    or maybe more accurately, the experience of making it,
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    I would have made different choices.
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    Instead, I was free to choose
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    what I knew mattered the most.
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    Today is your turn for that kind of freedom.
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    At the end, by the way,
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    I'll show you what's written on this.
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    The Freed Up experience is about
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    getting on God's plan with money
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    and experiencing the freedom that only He can give.
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    What you're watching now is just one part of it.
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    Freed Up is actually an app based experience
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    that normally costs a hundred dollars.
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    But, but wait, you can get it for free
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    now through the end of May 2021.
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    Just go to Crossroads.net/freedup
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    to do the entire experience.
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    You'll be glad that you did.
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    But what do you do with the new found freedom?
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    Well, the answer is this,
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    you focus on what matters most.
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    Whether you're 16 or 60, this experience
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    will help you not waste even one ounce of your life.
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    So what's the starting spot?
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    Well, it's simpler than you think.
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    Let me explain.
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    Most people spend most of their time on stuff
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    that has no shot at ever making those 60 characters:
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    refinishing floors, collecting cards or plates,
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    or in my case, bourbon,
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    getting promoted to executive vice president
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    or even better, senior executive vice president,
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    upgrading cars, lowering golf handicaps,
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    binge watching Netflix, buying, selling,
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    keeping up with fashion.
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    And please hear me clearly,
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    while none of that is inherently bad,
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    in fact, some of it can actually be great,
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    none of it has ever made the four lines.
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    And also we're saying this isn't a video
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    about making a vow of poverty
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    or swearing off material things.
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    It's actually about how to capitalize
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    on everything you have, your energy, time,
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    resources, even all your stuff
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    so that you can leave a legacy that you love.
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    Now, you can just watch and listen if you want.
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    But if you want the full experience
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    and you want to have this kind of memento
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    that comes with it, one that you could
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    look back on fifteen years from now,
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    go ahead and get out your phone
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    and open the Web browser,
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    or if you're watching this on your phone,
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    just grab something to write with.
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    If you've got your phone open,
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    open your Web browser and Google blank gravestone,
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    just find any image, don't be too picky,
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    and then save it to your phone.
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    After you've done that, open the image
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    and click, edit, and markup.
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    You're going to be writing on this image as we go.
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    As you're doing that, it's probably
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    also worth me calling out this isn't going
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    to be all morose or depressing.
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    That movement already happened
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    in the early to mid 2000s. It was called emo,
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    bands like Death Cab for Cutie,
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    Dashboard Confessionals,
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    (singing) your hair is everywhere.
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    I think it's something -- you scream at infidelities.
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    This isn't about screaming anything, actually,
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    it's about you waking up each day
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    and going to bed each night knowing that
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    your life is being perfectly spent
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    and what matters the most to you.
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    Step one, you have to fully embrace this
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    somewhat weird reality, you're somebody's ancestor
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    and what you do will impact them.
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    And that impact is called your legacy.
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    I want you to think back in time for a second.
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    What's your earliest childhood memory
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    of like a parent or grandparent?
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    Was it going somewhere with them,
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    maybe playing a game or working on
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    a project around the house or out in the yard?
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    Whatever it is, chances are that memory
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    is actually attached to the legacy
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    that they left to you or are leaving to you.
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    Mine is riding with my dad in this gigantic
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    old piece of crap station wagon that he had.
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    And it was supposed to have wood panels on the side,
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    but those actually fell off before he bought it.
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    So it was just this giant black box
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    with a bright red interior.
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    Bench seats in the front.
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    He bought it for like several hundred dollars.
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    So, you know, it was pretty nice.
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    And by the way, this was before they knew
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    about stuff like pumpkin seats or safety.
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    So at four or five years old,
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    I rode up front with him.
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    Me and my dad on Saturdays, we would
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    go different places, sometimes the hardware store,
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    sometimes the bank.
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    But there's one place we always hit
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    every single Saturday: White Castle.
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    Glorious, glorious White Castle
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    The only restaurant where you have to have
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    a bag for your bag because of how greasy
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    and disgusting that it gets.
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    Every Saturday, my dad and I would go
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    to White Castle together and we'd get a slider.
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    Amazing! The inventor of the slider
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    should win a Nobel Peace Prize for chemistry
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    and probably also physics.
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    Now because my dad loved White Castle
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    I love White Castle
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    and because I love White Castle, now,
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    my 7 year old daughter Gracie loves White Castle.
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    Don't believe me, take her word for it. Check it out.
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    – Gracie, where do you wish you were going for dinner tonight?
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    – White Castle. – Why?
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    – Because it's yummy. It's my favorite restaurant.
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    – Why is it your favorite restaurant?
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    – It has delicious fish burgers.
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    – Delicious fish burger. Yeah.
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    When did -- where did you learn to like White Castle?
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    – I think it was from daddy or Pop.
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    – Yeah.
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    So just like something that our family loves?
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    – Well, Mommy doesn't like it and the guys don't like it,
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    but me and daddy adore it.
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    – Awesome. Thank you. I love you.
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    – Love you, bye.
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    – Part of my dad's legacy and now part of mine,
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    people choosing to eat White Castle on purpose
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    when they're not even hung over.
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    Hundreds of years from now there'll be
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    some poor kid with the last name Ranson
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    eating a slider, telling his friends,
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    "This is what my ancestors did."
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    There'll probably be some amazing ritual
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    or ceremony by then.
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    Now, I know it's strange, but it's true.
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    You're an ancestor.
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    Here's the thing though,
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    you can be a good ancestor or a bad ancestor.
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    Exodus 20 puts it this way, God says:
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    Now, you might be like that sounds really severe.
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    I get it, but hang on for a second.
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    What this verse says overall is that
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    you either have a positive impact
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    or a negative impact on the generations,
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    plural, that come after you,
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    not just your children, but your children's children.
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    But get this, God says He will actually limit
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    the negative to just three or four generations,
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    but increase the positive for a thousand generations.
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    That's incredible news. Incredible news.
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    Now, a negative legacy is called infamy.
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    You don't want to be that.
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    A positive legacy is called leaving an inheritance.
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    So what determines whether you leave infamous infamy
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    or leave an inheritance?
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    It's what you do in your dash.
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    The dash is that little bar that comes
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    between the date that says when you were born
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    and the date that says when you'll die.
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    Now, the average dash for an American woman is 81 years.
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    The average dash for an American man
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    is 5 less than that, 76, which both proves
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    that women are smarter than men
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    and that no matter who you are
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    and how successful you are,
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    that little dash doesn't last forever.
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    Psalm 144 puts it this way:
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    So when is the right time to think
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    about the four lines you leave behind?
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    The answer is right now because
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    your life isn't going to last forever.
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    Your dash is small and fleeting.
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    The time is now and the first of those four questions
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    that define the four lines is this: who are you?
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    And by that I mean, who are you really?
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    Like are you good or bad
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    or are you optimistic, a pessimistic,
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    are you an individual, are you part of a bigger whole?
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    Is your life just the complete story,
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    or is it just one chapter in a much larger work?
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    And all of those answers, by the way,
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    are actually determined by your answer
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    to this one overarching question.
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    Are you who you say you are
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    or are you who God says you are?
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    And really, the two choices here are
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    the limited view or God's view.
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    And I say limited, because when you decide
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    who you are, you're limited to just a few things.
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    Some people let themselves be limited
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    by painful experiences
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    or the hurtful words that were said to them.
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    Some by the actual limits that they have.
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    For me, I used to think that who I was
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    is somebody whose mind didn't work right
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    because I could never remember basic things
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    and I always lost track of time.
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    As a kid and as an adult, I would get
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    so hyper focused on whatever I was doing,
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    I literally couldn't hear anything else.
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    People would come up, "Kyle, Kyle, Kyle," nothing.
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    I thought my mind didn't work right.
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    Now years later, I know that I have some form of ADHD,
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    it's a limit that I could choose to have define me.
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    What about you?
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    Is there some limit in your life
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    that wants you to believe it's who you are?
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    Is it ADHD like me?
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    Maybe it's anxiety.
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    Have you ever said out loud,
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    "I'm just a just a worried person,
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    just anxious all the time."
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    All of that stuff is limiting.
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    Listen, even if you let your accomplishments
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    define you, you're limited to only what you can do.
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    But if you choose God's view of who you are,
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    your life is expanded because
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    when you listen to God, there are no limits.
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    Philippians 4:13, says:
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    This is the first question because this question,
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    the answer to this question determines
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    how you will answer the other three.
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    I want you take a minute right now
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    to answer the question: who are you?
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    My answer, by the way, may sound hokey to you,
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    but I only need eight letters for this one.
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    I'm writing Son of God. Why?
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    Because I want to leave a legacy of
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    everyone who follows behind me,
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    not wasting their life trying to define themselves,
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    not wasting their life trying to measure up
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    to everybody else's standards,
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    not wasting their life believing that
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    they're limited by their limitations.
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    No, I want to leave a legacy of people
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    who know that they're God's and because of that
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    nothing will be impossible for them.
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    I want you to take a minute right now
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    and start with your answer.
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    By the way, you don't have to nail it in this moment.
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    You don't even have to like what you write.
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    Just write down honestly.
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    The goal is just to get started.
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    You have 30 seconds and 15 characters
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    to answer the question: who are you, right now.
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    Great, by the way, for you rule following people,
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    if you use a few more than 15 characters,
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    that's OK, relax.
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    And you rule breakers
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    who just wrote an entire paragraph,
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    try to trim it down to only what matters most.
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    We're talking four lines, four questions.
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    The second question: who do you love
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    and how do you love them?
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    You know, all headstones are almost exactly the same:
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    name, date born, date died,
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    then a list of the most important relationship roles
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    that that person played.
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    Stuff like husband, father, mother,
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    daughter, mentor, friend.
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    Notice, by the way, not your resume,
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    not your address, not your impressive zip code,
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    not your amazing golf score,
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    not the total in your bank account
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    when you kick the bucket,
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    not the most money you ever made in a year.
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    None of that.
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    It's fifteen characters to summarize
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    the quality of the relationships you have
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    with just a handful of people
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    and the way your lives either move them forward or not.
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    It's the sum of how you acted
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    towards those people each day.
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    Were you kind or short tempered?
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    Were you generous or were you stingy?
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    Did you stop to listen
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    or you just rush off to the next thing?
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    You might be like, "I get it. I get it."
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    No, no, you don't. No, you don't.
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    Those are legacy defining questions.
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    A legacy isn't a side project that you make
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    in a garage that just attached to the side of your life.
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    No, it's the sum total of the stories,
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    the conversations, the personal impact
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    that you have with these people.
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    It can be tempting to make it more complicated than that.
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    I doesn't need to be because it's not.
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    In fact you want a great legacy,
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    just follow Hebrews 3:13 and you'll leave one
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    more powerful than 9.999999999%
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    of all humans who've ever lived.
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    Hebrews 3:13 says:
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    A legacy altering decision could be:
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    I will actively and intentionally encourage
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    my closest family and friends every day, every day.
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    Who are those people
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    and what's your relationship to them?
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    Are you friend, mother, daughter,
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    mentor, father, brother, sister?
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    And what kind of that thing do you want to be?
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    Loving, trusted, honest friend,
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    inspiring brother, encouraging father.
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    I want you to take a minute right now
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    and start writing your answer to question number two:
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    Who do you love
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    and how are you letting them know, right now.
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    Four lines, four questions.
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    The third, what do you value
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    and how are your actions proving it?
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    Now, your stuff won't make your gravestone,
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    your values will.
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    Words like generous, joyful, fun loving,
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    grace filled, kind, honest, hard working.
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    But way more attention is actually spent
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    on passing on the stuff than passing on the values.
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    Most people have a will or some kind of document
  • 00:15:52
    that says what will happen with their stuff,
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    and please hear me, that's good.
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    Sarah and I have wanted to ensure that
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    our kids go where we want them to go
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    and that the little bit of resources
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    that we have right now get to them as well.
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    But here's the thing, your resources
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    will only be helpful if they're paired with your values.
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    I was listening to a podcast last week
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    with a super interesting guy named Rabbi Steve Leder.
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    He's the author of a book that touches on legacy
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    called The Beauty of What Remains.
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    He's talking about wills and he described
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    the kind of world that I had never heard of before.
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    He said this:
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    I love that idea, an ethical will.
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    And that's really what this third question is hitting on.
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    You could think about it as
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    the 15 character long version of your ethical will,
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    which gets us to the actual will.
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    See, most of us think of a will as a list
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    of money and stuff, but it's not.
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    It's what somebody wills to happen.
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    And what they will is 100% driven by what they value.
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    But if you talk to the financial professionals
  • 00:17:41
    who deal with estates and wills,
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    they'll actually tell you that most of
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    their clients who are planning their estates
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    and most of the people who come to them
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    having just inherited resources
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    and have no idea what to do with it,
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    neither of those people who have ever actually
  • 00:17:55
    had a conversation about the values
  • 00:17:57
    behind the decisions in the will?
  • 00:18:01
    None of them have.
  • 00:18:02
    And see, not having those conversations
  • 00:18:04
    produces all kinds of pain and conflict.
  • 00:18:08
    First, so what we're talking about in Freed Up,
  • 00:18:10
    the person giving the inheritance,
  • 00:18:13
    they're always trying to give freedom,
  • 00:18:15
    the person who gets the inheritance often times
  • 00:18:17
    feels tied down by guilt about it.
  • 00:18:20
    Like, "I didn't earn this. I don't deserve it."
  • 00:18:23
    They're just bogged down.
  • 00:18:25
    They're actually less free, which is the opposite
  • 00:18:28
    of what the person who left them the resources wanted.
  • 00:18:31
    Second, they're are often multiple heirs
  • 00:18:33
    who get different amounts or maybe feel like
  • 00:18:36
    they should have gotten different amounts.
  • 00:18:37
    And they're all left to wonder why.
  • 00:18:40
    Like are they less valuable?
  • 00:18:43
    Now, the better move here is to know what you value
  • 00:18:47
    and to make sure it's obvious.
  • 00:18:49
    You could write an ethical will, it'd be a great idea,
  • 00:18:53
    or you could just have the conversation
  • 00:18:56
    about what you value now.
  • 00:18:59
    Remember, the dash doesn't last forever.
  • 00:19:01
    Now I know it can be uncomfortable,
  • 00:19:03
    but it's so incredibly healthy.
  • 00:19:05
    And I know that because I've been having
  • 00:19:07
    those exact conversations with my dad.
  • 00:19:10
    He's only in his sixties and he's in great health,
  • 00:19:12
    so there's nothing really forcing
  • 00:19:14
    these sorts of conversations right now.
  • 00:19:16
    We could very easily put them off
  • 00:19:17
    or not have them at all.
  • 00:19:18
    But we've been having them
  • 00:19:20
    for the better part of a decade now.
  • 00:19:22
    I'm the executor of my dad's estate and trust.
  • 00:19:26
    See, I know where his resources will go.
  • 00:19:28
    That's what all these pages say.
  • 00:19:30
    But way, way, way more importantly, I know why.
  • 00:19:35
    I know his values.
  • 00:19:37
    Here's the thing, it's not a one and done conversation.
  • 00:19:40
    You know, I don't like talking about my dad being gone.
  • 00:19:43
    It's never like, "Hey, dad, I just thought
  • 00:19:45
    I'd call you and we can talk
  • 00:19:46
    about you being dead again.
  • 00:19:47
    That sounds awesome. You know, cool."
  • 00:19:49
    No, of course not, but that's not the conversation.
  • 00:19:53
    The conversation is, "Hey, dad,
  • 00:19:56
    what is it that matters the most to you?"
  • 00:19:59
    And that's a great conversation.
  • 00:20:01
    Look, if you're younger like me
  • 00:20:03
    and it's awkward to start the conversation, I get it.
  • 00:20:05
    Just do exactly this.
  • 00:20:07
    I literally called my dad yesterday and I just said,
  • 00:20:10
    "Hey, I'm thinking about legacy
  • 00:20:13
    and I know that I'm the executor of your will,
  • 00:20:16
    but I just want to make sure I understand
  • 00:20:18
    what it is you value."
  • 00:20:20
    That's it, and then he just started talking.
  • 00:20:22
    It was a great conversation,
  • 00:20:24
    took 10 whole minutes, that was it.
  • 00:20:27
    And even though we've actually
  • 00:20:28
    had the conversation before, this time,
  • 00:20:30
    I picked up values I missed before.
  • 00:20:33
    And I heard how his life was about
  • 00:20:34
    putting those values into action.
  • 00:20:37
    Do you know how incredibly valuable that is?
  • 00:20:42
    Proverbs 13:22 says:
  • 00:20:52
    Leaving an inheritance is not about being rich in money.
  • 00:20:56
    You can have these conversations even if
  • 00:20:58
    you're not leaving a large monetary inheritance.
  • 00:21:02
    The Bible says that faith without works is dead,
  • 00:21:05
    in the same way your values without conversations
  • 00:21:09
    will die with you.
  • 00:21:11
    Now do you know part of why my faulty memory
  • 00:21:14
    and my time blindness, my ADHD didn't cause me
  • 00:21:18
    to conclude I couldn't learn or succeed?
  • 00:21:21
    It's an inheritance I receive
  • 00:21:23
    from my dad's dad, George Rantzen.
  • 00:21:25
    He was the oldest of seven kids.
  • 00:21:27
    He actually dropped out of school in eighth grade
  • 00:21:30
    to help support his family during the Great Depression
  • 00:21:32
    because his dad couldn't find work.
  • 00:21:34
    But despite never going to high school,
  • 00:21:37
    much less graduating high school,
  • 00:21:39
    he learned to be a butcher.
  • 00:21:41
    Then he learned business, at least enough
  • 00:21:43
    to open his own little shop.
  • 00:21:46
    In his spare time, he kept learning.
  • 00:21:48
    He taught himself how to how to build furniture.
  • 00:21:50
    Yes, that's where I get it.
  • 00:21:52
    Even late in his life,
  • 00:21:53
    he was always learning something new.
  • 00:21:54
    But the very last memories with him are
  • 00:21:56
    talking to him about computers and email
  • 00:21:59
    and the Internet and also Spanish,
  • 00:22:01
    because he decided that he wanted
  • 00:22:02
    to learn both at the same time.
  • 00:22:04
    See he taught me that there were no limits.
  • 00:22:08
    I could learn anything and I could do anything.
  • 00:22:12
    That's an inheritance, that values passed on.
  • 00:22:16
    My other grandfather, Robert Ball, never knew his dad.
  • 00:22:20
    He was raised by his grandparents
  • 00:22:21
    and they owned the bar.
  • 00:22:23
    Literally means he was raised in a bar,
  • 00:22:26
    probably made a mean Manhattan at five years old,
  • 00:22:28
    you know?
  • 00:22:29
    But despite never knowing his own dad,
  • 00:22:32
    he became the dad of nine kids.
  • 00:22:35
    And the incredible loving grandfather
  • 00:22:38
    to more than three dozen.
  • 00:22:40
    See he passed on an inheritance,
  • 00:22:42
    the value of family and adventure
  • 00:22:45
    and the idea that you can move the ball forward
  • 00:22:48
    for your family no matter where you pick it up in life.
  • 00:22:52
    By the way, neither of my grandfathers left any money.
  • 00:22:55
    They didn't.
  • 00:22:57
    What they left was worth far more.
  • 00:23:01
    Now your values that could be expressed
  • 00:23:03
    through the money you leave,
  • 00:23:04
    but the values transcend money.
  • 00:23:06
    I hope you're picking up on that.
  • 00:23:07
    An example from my life right now.
  • 00:23:09
    Sarah and I, we want to leave
  • 00:23:10
    a legacy of fun and encouragement.
  • 00:23:12
    So what are we doing?
  • 00:23:13
    Well, every night we play Mario Kart with our kids
  • 00:23:16
    as the very last thing before they go to bed
  • 00:23:18
    a four race tournament. Why?
  • 00:23:20
    Because we want the last memory
  • 00:23:23
    of every day they spend with us
  • 00:23:25
    to be having fun together and encouraging each other.
  • 00:23:29
    We value fun. We value encouragement.
  • 00:23:32
    What about you?
  • 00:23:34
    I want you to take a minute right now
  • 00:23:35
    to write down what it is you value.
  • 00:23:38
    And I know with this question you could
  • 00:23:40
    be tempted to write a novel here,
  • 00:23:41
    but really limit yourself to 15 characters,
  • 00:23:44
    force yourself to get very specific and very focused.
  • 00:23:50
    What do you value?
  • 00:23:51
    You have 30 seconds to write.
  • 00:24:02
    Four lines, four questions.
  • 00:24:05
    The last one: toward what end?
  • 00:24:09
    Said another way, what are you living for?
  • 00:24:13
    Culture promotes living with your eyes down.
  • 00:24:16
    This is the posture, head down,
  • 00:24:17
    look at what's right in front of you.
  • 00:24:19
    Think about today. Think about tomorrow. Nothing else.
  • 00:24:22
    But God actually promotes living with your eyes up.
  • 00:24:25
    He says, look about today.
  • 00:24:26
    Yes, look clearly ahead of you.
  • 00:24:27
    Look at today. That's fine.
  • 00:24:29
    But look past today,
  • 00:24:30
    look over the horizon of your life
  • 00:24:32
    and stare at eternity.
  • 00:24:35
    All of the greats live this way.
  • 00:24:38
    Hebrews 11 is a chapter that's known as the Hall of Faith.
  • 00:24:42
    It's like the most faithful, God filled people ever.
  • 00:24:45
    How did they live their lives?
  • 00:24:47
    It's people like Abraham, Sarah, and Jacob.
  • 00:24:49
    And it says they all live this way.
  • 00:24:52
    Hebrews 11 says:
  • 00:25:12
    The Bible says all these people lived
  • 00:25:15
    with their eyes looking over the horizon
  • 00:25:18
    of their life to eternity, and they walked towards it.
  • 00:25:23
    That's what their lives were for.
  • 00:25:25
    Your life will be spent toward something.
  • 00:25:28
    It could be you
  • 00:25:30
    or it could be something bigger than you.
  • 00:25:33
    I got the chance to talk with a guy
  • 00:25:35
    who you may actually know a few weeks ago.
  • 00:25:38
    His name is Sean Lowe.
  • 00:25:39
    He was the bachelor like, yeah,
  • 00:25:41
    the bachelor guy, six, seven years ago.
  • 00:25:43
    To this day, by the way,
  • 00:25:44
    he's the only one who married the woman he picked.
  • 00:25:46
    They're a great family, got to hang out his house,
  • 00:25:48
    meet his kids, it was awesome.
  • 00:25:50
    I was there actually to talk about other stuff,
  • 00:25:52
    but towards the end of our day together,
  • 00:25:54
    our conversation actually turned towards legacy
  • 00:25:57
    and this exact question. Here's what he said.
  • 00:26:00
    You exude this guy who has found
  • 00:26:04
    something incredible with God.
  • 00:26:07
    There had to be a question you asked that got you there.
  • 00:26:10
    What was that?
  • 00:26:11
    – Oh, that's a big one.
  • 00:26:15
    I would say: What are we doing here? I
  • 00:26:19
    read a book recently and the book, the author asked,
  • 00:26:25
    what is your grandfather's grandfather's full name
  • 00:26:28
    and what was his occupation?
  • 00:26:31
    Chances are none of us know the answer to that.
  • 00:26:33
    – No idea.
  • 00:26:35
    – So the point of him asking that question is,
  • 00:26:38
    you know, the Bible says life is but a vapor,
  • 00:26:40
    whether you live 20 years or whether you live 100 years,
  • 00:26:46
    compared to eternity, we're here for a blink of an eye.
  • 00:26:49
    Right?
  • 00:26:50
    Why are we here? What are we doing here?
  • 00:26:53
    To give you one example, to kind of bring it home,
  • 00:26:56
    talking about grandfathers.
  • 00:26:57
    My grandfather's a World War II veteran.
  • 00:26:59
    He just celebrated his 96th birthday.
  • 00:27:01
    – Oh, wow.
  • 00:27:02
    – He fought on Okinawa,
  • 00:27:03
    Okinawa, the bloodiest battle in the South Pacific.
  • 00:27:05
    He made a deal with God. He did not know God.
  • 00:27:08
    "God, if you get me home safely, I promise
  • 00:27:11
    I'll serve you for the rest of my life."
  • 00:27:13
    Side note, he was scheduled, he was a Marine.
  • 00:27:15
    He was scheduled to be on the first wave of invaders,
  • 00:27:19
    if we were to invade Japan,
  • 00:27:21
    which we were scheduled to before we dropped the bombs.
  • 00:27:23
    He would not have survived that.
  • 00:27:25
    God gets him home.
  • 00:27:26
    He didn't serve God. Of course not.
  • 00:27:28
    – He didn't hold up his end of the bargain.
  • 00:27:29
    – He's just a 20 year old. He didn't serve God.
  • 00:27:31
    Like ten years go past. He gets married.
  • 00:27:34
    He's got this dream one day
  • 00:27:37
    and he's looking out at the ocean,
  • 00:27:40
    but it's fiery waves. OK?
  • 00:27:44
    Behind him is this beautiful castle on a hill
  • 00:27:47
    and there's a winding road.
  • 00:27:50
    Out in the ocean of the flaming waves he sees Satan.
  • 00:27:54
    So he says, looking at Satan, "I'm petrified, petrified.
  • 00:28:01
    I look at the castle that sits on this hill
  • 00:28:04
    and I have this feeling of safety.
  • 00:28:06
    I know that I have to get there.
  • 00:28:08
    So I'm running and I'm going up this winding road
  • 00:28:10
    and I'm running and Satan is chasing after me.
  • 00:28:12
    And I'm running, I'm running and running.
  • 00:28:14
    At the base of this castle, I finally reach it,
  • 00:28:16
    there's a door I reach and the door is locked."
  • 00:28:21
    – Hmm.
  • 00:28:22
    – OK? My grandfather says, "I wake up,"
  • 00:28:25
    and he says, "I literally see Jesus in my room.
  • 00:28:28
    And Jesus says, 'You do not know me.'" OK?
  • 00:28:32
    – Wow.
  • 00:28:34
    – So what does my grandfather do?
  • 00:28:36
    He gives his life to Christ that moment,
  • 00:28:39
    later becomes a pastor, OK?
  • 00:28:41
    He has brought untold number of people to the Lord.
  • 00:28:45
    – So how would he answer that question?
  • 00:28:47
    What are we even here for?
  • 00:28:49
    – He would probably say to expand the Kingdom of heaven.
  • 00:28:53
    Yeah. – Incredible.
  • 00:28:56
    That's the question, isn't it?
  • 00:28:57
    What are we doing here, towards what end?
  • 00:29:03
    The last line of your epitaph
  • 00:29:05
    will say what it was all for.
  • 00:29:07
    Will yours say for the sake of her own enjoyment?
  • 00:29:11
    Will it say to make himself happy?
  • 00:29:13
    Or will it say to the glory of God,
  • 00:29:17
    to the advancement of His Kingdom?
  • 00:29:20
    Take 30 seconds right now to answer
  • 00:29:23
    the question, towards what end?
  • 00:29:34
    Four lines, four questions:
  • 00:29:37
    Who are you? Who do you love?
  • 00:29:40
    What do you value? Toward what end?
  • 00:29:43
    The answers to those questions are
  • 00:29:46
    the start of an incredible legacy that lasts.
  • 00:29:49
    Oh, by the way, what did I write?
  • 00:29:53
    I combined these questions together
  • 00:29:55
    and I wrote these 47 characters:
  • 00:29:58
    he loved with everything he had
  • 00:30:00
    and spent it all for Jesus.
  • 00:30:03
    My prayer is that you have an epitaph you love,
  • 00:30:07
    that you can be proud of.
  • 00:30:09
    I hope this experience helped you on your way.
  • 00:30:11
    And we're not done yet.
  • 00:30:12
    We're going to keep going right now
  • 00:30:13
    with something called worship.
  • 00:30:15
    This is a time to process everything that just happened.
  • 00:30:18
    I encourage you as we sing these songs together
  • 00:30:21
    to get out your phone and to look at what you wrote
  • 00:30:24
    and ask God if there's anything on that list
  • 00:30:27
    He wants you to pay attention to or maybe even tweak.
  • 00:30:30
    Let's do this together right now.
  • 00:30:35
    We covered a lot of ground today,
  • 00:30:36
    and a legacy takes time to think about and process.
  • 00:30:39
    One of the best things you can do
  • 00:30:40
    when looking for answers is to take
  • 00:30:42
    whatever you're feeling and bring it to God.
  • 00:30:44
    What does that mean? Well, in this case,
  • 00:30:47
    it means to talk to God, maybe even sing to Him.
  • 00:30:50
    In church terms, it's called worship.
  • 00:30:52
    Just telling God who He is.
  • 00:31:32
    - We trust in you alone.
  • 00:31:34
    With these words, we tell God that
  • 00:31:36
    no matter what comes, He has our trust.
  • 00:31:40
    That trust extends beyond our lives
  • 00:31:42
    and even beyond the legacy we leave behind.
  • 00:31:45
    Another way to say we trust God
  • 00:31:47
    is to say we surrender to Him.
  • 00:31:49
    You can declare this by physically
  • 00:31:51
    taking a position of surrender before Him.
  • 00:31:55
    If you're comfortable and able, I invite you
  • 00:31:57
    to raise a hand or both hands over your head
  • 00:32:00
    with your palms open.
  • 00:32:01
    It's a way to tell God that He is in charge
  • 00:32:04
    and we trust in Him alone.
  • 00:33:05
    - You're doing great.
  • 00:33:06
    You can go ahead and lower your hands now.
  • 00:33:10
    Hear it now, the sound of the Kingdom.
  • 00:33:13
    We've heard these words a couple of times now,
  • 00:33:16
    but what do they mean?
  • 00:33:18
    Well, in verses like Luke 2:13-14, we see that
  • 00:33:22
    it's the sound of the voice singing to God.
  • 00:33:25
    That verse mentions angels, too,
  • 00:33:28
    but we don't have time to get into that.
  • 00:33:30
    For these next verses, sing or hum along.
  • 00:33:33
    It's a way we can tell God we trust Him.
  • 00:36:06
    – Interested by what you heard today?
  • 00:36:07
    Well a great next step for you is
  • 00:36:09
    to download the Freed Up App.
  • 00:36:11
    It's a personalized experience designed
  • 00:36:13
    to guide you to a new place of financial freedom.
  • 00:36:15
    Normally, it cost $100,
  • 00:36:18
    but from now until the end of May,
  • 00:36:20
    the Freed Up App is available to
  • 00:36:22
    the Crossroads community, that's you, for free.
  • 00:36:25
    Just head to Crossroads.net/freedup
  • 00:36:28
    to download it. We'll see you next week.

Process, journal or discuss the themes of this article - here's a few questions to get the ball rolling...

Welcome to the Weekend Follow-Up. The questions below are for the weekend of May 15 & 16 2021.

  1. What’s something you’ve inherited that you’re looking to pass on? It could be a character trait, family heirloom, important life lesson, etc.

  2. Read Proverbs 13:22. The answers to these questions are the start of an incredible legacy that lasts. 1) Who are you? 2) Who do you love? 3) What do you value? 4) What are you living for? Take a few moments to consider: What does legacy mean to you personally? How can you leave one? These four questions can help you get started processing.

  3. What do you want your legacy to look like? What are you living for that’s beyond yourself? Take three minutes to come up with a statement and share with the group why you chose that.

  4. When it comes to our legacy, it takes time to process. What is one thing you will do differently this week, in one or all four of the areas listed in question two? If you’re unsure, download the FreedUp app, which is designed to guide you through the process of revisiting your beliefs around legacy.

  5. Now close your time in prayer. Say your own or use this one: “God we trust in you. No matter what comes our way you have our trust. Show us your way and give us the clarity on how to deepen our trust in you that goes beyond our lives and beyond our legacy. Amen.

More from the Weekend

Download the FreedUp app today. This is a personalized experience designed to guide you to a new place of financial freedom.

Use the coupon code to download the FreedUp app for free, a $99 value. Offer expires May 31st.

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May 15, 2021 36 mins 58 sec

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