Puking on the floor in a puddle of my own pee while my toddler ran wild around the bathroom was not an ideal Tuesday, but it was a typical one during pregnancy.
Why does pregnancy suck? I mean, I realize that isn’t the most elegant way to say it…but that has been my honest question to God throughout all my times of carrying children. Is that too much to ask for my body not to fall apart when bringing a beautiful, new life into the world?
Why Did God Make Childbirth Painful?
And I’m not just talking about pregnancy—I mean all of it: the trying-to-get-pregnant part, the pregnancy itself, the labor and delivery, the postpartum season. It’s all a lot. And different parts of that process have different levels of difficulty for every woman, but it’s never all easy.
If you’ve ever found yourself crying on the bathroom floor…again…pushing through a meeting at work nauseous as all get up, or icing parts of your body you never knew would need ice there all while trying to keep a newborn alive —I’d venture to say you’ve asked a similar question to mine.
And I think God has an answer.
Before we get there, though, if you’re feeling that too, I want you to know you’re not alone. God has given us the ability to bring life into the world; it’s a miracle! And while we look forward to that life and are so grateful for the gift of children, it’s also not easy. And we can say that.
Are you struggling to get pregnant right now? I did too. Are you grieving a miscarriage? Same—during Christmas of 2024. Are you pregnant and feel like your body is falling apart? That’s what I’ve faced every single time (and I’m currently pregnant with my fifth kid). Labor and Delivery not what you expected? Unplanned c-section for me. Your post-partum emotions feel out of whack, and you can’t seem to figure it out? I hid in my room and cried while my in-laws met my baby.
I’m telling you I’ve been there, as has every mom who has come before you. It is because this difficult experience goes all the way back to the very first woman who ever lived: Eve. And it was her story that actually affects yours, mine, and every woman who takes the plunge to become a mom.
You may not be familiar with the Bible, and that’s okay. But from the beginning, it tells the story of a God who created people to live in a close relationship with him, who designed things to be good, whole, and full of peace.
The Curse of Eve
There was no pain, no heartbreak, and no suffering at the start. But that story took a turn in the book of Genesis, chapter three. Eve, the first woman, chose to go her own way instead of trusting God. She believed a lie—that maybe God wasn’t really good, or that he was holding something back from her. She took control for herself, and that choice broke things. Not just for her, but for everyone who came after her.
One of the things that was affected? PREGNANCY. In Genesis 3:16, God says: “I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children.”
I’ve known this story most of my life. And as a little girl, I always internalized the second part of that verse: “with painful labor you will give birth to children”. BUT the golden nugget for you and me today, struggling BEFORE the labor and delivery, is actually in the first part of the verse. The Hebrew word for childbearing translates to conception, pregnancy, and childbearing.
Whoa. Mind blown. This isn’t just a “you problem” that you are struggling to conceive. Your sciatica pain and headaches aren’t unique to your body in this pregnancy. The emotional turmoil you feel from the first trimester through the FOURTH isn’t just hormonal. It’s all spiritual, too.
Now, that consequence from God might sound harsh at first. But this isn’t about God being angry or punishing women—it’s about the natural consequence of turning away from the God who IS life and peace. When we disconnect from Him, pain comes into places that were never meant to hurt. We get a struggle for life and a struggle for peace when we unplug from the very source of those things.
The Surprising Good
This isn’t all bad news. There’s actually really, really good news. (I can feel some readers giving me the middle finger while yakking into their toilet right now.) Why? Because there’s an answer to the question “Why is pregnancy so hard?”, and it can be for our benefit if we let it.
The good news? The pain we feel in pregnancy—whether it’s in infertility, miscarriage, physical pain carrying a baby, delivery trauma, or postpartum depression—isn’t random. It’s a signpost. A reminder that something isn’t right in the world. And not just a reminder, but also a gentle invitation to come back to the God who made us and to turn towards him in the midst of our pain.
The even better news? I can choose something different than Eve. She chose to put her trust in herself over God, she chose to control and take matters into her own hands, she operated out of pride that she knew better than the Creator himself. The way WE got to this pain we’re in is because Eve started it, and we continued it, over and over again. The first time I chose to take control and not trust God, my consequence became the same as Eve’s. I was probably five (or perhaps at my first breath), and have continued doing it for 30 years. None of us are immune to this sin (or separation from God) as all of us choose our own way over God’s way time and time again (Romans 3:23).
So here is how I choose something different. Instead of letting the pain in “childbearing” make me bitter or discouraged, I let it prompt me to ask:
“Where am I disconnected from God right now? Where am I trying to control and choose my own ways over his?”
And then I pray. I talk to God. It’s a conversation starter in the midst of my difficulty. I tell Him where I’m struggling. I admit I’m scared, or tired, or trying to be in control. And I remember that God is not distant. He’s not sitting in the sky judging me. He’s with me, right in the middle of the mess as I talk to him on the bathroom floor for the third time that day.
Jesus, God’s Son, came to show us just that. He entered our broken world. He felt pain. He cried. He suffered. And He made a way for us to be reconnected to God again. The Bible says this about Jesus:
“He took up our pain and bore our suffering…” (Isaiah 53:4)
God knows what we’re going through. And He promises hope, not just for one day in heaven, but for here and now. He offers peace, comfort, and strength. He invites us to lean on him instead of carrying the weight alone. If you are like me, maybe you say “Right—I’ll believe that when someone I love has passed away or when there’s a real tragedy going on around me…” but I ask you: do you actually let Jesus into your everyday difficulties and the momentary suffering like your longing for a child or your aching body in the midst of it? If not, maybe now is the time to start.
If you’re hurting right now, it’s not because God is against you. In fact, He’s for you. He loves you. He’s offering you his presence and his peace. All He wants is for you to trust him, like Eve didn’t, and like we often don’t. And our pain is a cue to turn towards him and plug back into the life giver and peacemaker that he is.
You’re not alone. You’re not forgotten. And this hard season—this pregnancy, this postpartum fog, this longing for a child—it could be the very thing that brings you closer to the God who made you, who sees you, and who loves you more than you know.
Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.
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At Crossroads, we major on the majors and minor on the minors. We welcome a diverse community of people who all agree that Jesus is Lord and Savior, even if they view minor theological and faith topics in different ways based on their unique experiences. Our various authors embody that principle, and we approach you, our reader, in the same fashion. You don’t have to agree with every detail of any article you see here to be part of this community or pursue faith. Chances are even our whole staff doesn’t even agree with every detail of what you just read. We are okay with that tension. And we think God is okay with that, too. The foundation of everything we do is a conviction that the Bible is true and that accepting Jesus is who he said he is leads to a healthy life of purpose and adventure—and eternal life with God.
