I was pretty sure God had asked me to go to Middle School Camp. Even with complications that come from living with multiple sclerosis, a condition that requires adequate sleep. So why, the night before camp, was I still awake at 4:30am?

This was not going to be easy. As sleepless hours passed into sleepless hours, doubt crept into the places where sleep should have been. Maybe I didn’t hear God correctly? Maybe I needed a change of plans? Maybe this was my sign to stay home?

Following God doesn’t mean the path is easy. In fact, it just might make it more challenging. But the payoff is so worth it.

How Did We Get Here?

I had been serving in Student Ministry for a couple of years as a small group leader. Summer Middle School Camp was approaching, and I was asked to serve as an adult leader there as well. Hanging out with middle schoolers for a week might not sound like your idea of fun, but honestly, I love those kids, so I said yes. I didn’t start to regret that decision until the night before we were scheduled to leave. The doubt came in waves.

Part 1: No Sleep

One thing I have learned about having Multiple Sclerosis is that some things can lighten the load, like getting a good night’s sleep. Sleep is crucial and rest is vital. I lost both that night. Worries were swimming around in my head: Not only will I have major fatigue the next day, but my movements will probably be shaky, and my muscles will feel stiff and tingly. Ugh, why can’t my body just work the way it’s supposed to? I don’t want to let those kids or the other leaders down by canceling. What did I get myself into?

Losing sleep isn’t a common problem for me, so why wasn’t I able to get some (especially knowing I’d need it going into camp)? I believe part of it was because of fear, and the other part was that the Enemy (you might know him as the devil) didn’t want me to be obedient to what God was calling me to. After hours of tossing and turning, I decided to sit up in my bed to pray. I did all the things: texted my friends to pray for me, listened to worship songs, read scripture—but sleep never came.

Part 2: Sick To My Stomach

I anxiously glanced at the clock; it was 1am. Then, it was 2am. That’s when I started to hear the voice trying to take away my hope:

“Don’t go. Remember what you are like when you get no sleep. Just tell the Student Ministry team you can’t make it.”

I simultaneously wanted to give in AND fight back. I decided God favored the second outcome more, so I powered up and prayed a simple prayer: “Lord, I know you are in control and I trust you.” Finally accepting sleep probably wasn’t going to come, I moved out to the living room to try to change the environment. I put in my AirPods and listened to the Bible.

By 4:30am, I really wasn’t feeling well. The fatigue was becoming palpable. The lack of sleep was getting to me. I was about to go to a camp along with 1,000 very energetic, fast-moving middle schoolers, and I had nothing. I was on E. So I asked God, “What do you want me to do?” trying to listen to him and not my feelings. I sat in silence, and a few moments later, felt him impress one word on me:

“Go.”

I got off the couch and started to get ready for the day.

Part 3: Go Time!

As I left that morning, I was drained and hesitant. When I arrived to board the bus for camp, I didn’t share the struggle of the hours before with my group of girls. I did, however, share with some of the parents and the other student leaders—if nothing else than to explain my glazed-over eyes and wobbly steps. I asked the adults to pray for me, trusting God would hear them.

And you know what? He did. Not all at once, but as the day carried on, so did my energy level. It never depleted. When I laid everything down, including my pride at having to ask for help, God came through. He gave me strength, clarity, and focus that I had no business carrying after being awake for more than 24 hours. By the time I laid my head down on the dorm room pillow at 11pm, God had given me more than I could have ever imagined.

After a full day of camp, I slept like a baby.

Part 4: We Thrived

A regular rhythm at camp brings all the students together for times of teaching and worship, singing to thank God and remember all that he’s done (and is doing). That week, one of the songs we sang over and over again was “Up On This Rock.” The chorus goes like this:

“Up on this rock, hell don't stand a chance Heaven's got my back, this house is built to last Up on this rock, my hope and confidence My strength and sole defense, my faith was built for this.”

The words froze me. It felt like they were describing exactly what I had been dealing with. The sleepless night, the choice to push forward anyway, the string of miracles that carried me.

As I sang, a passage of scripture came to mind.

“As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” - 1 Peter 2:4-5

Jesus is the rock, our hope and confidence—and He’s making us like him. We are living stones, more resilient than we can even imagine, being built into something unshakable. Satan, our enemy, tells us to hold onto the fear and stay home; God says bring the fears to Him, and he will make us strong. He will take care of us.

We have to lose the illusion that saying yes to God means the path will be easy. It wasn’t that way for anyone in scripture who moved when God asked them to. If anything, a bit of turbulence might just be an indication that you’re going the right direction.

Scripture says that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. By the end of a week at Middle School Camp, that’s the gift I was left with—because I didn’t bail when the going got tough.

As followers of Jesus, we’re all the living stones Peter is talking about, and when we trust God’s movement in our lives, he’ll build us with power and hope to withstand fears and doubts. Not so we can rest on our laurels, but so we can move, to keep saying “yes” to the next challenging thing he puts in front of us.

Was Camp For Me?

As camp came to a close, my energy had stayed exactly where I needed it to be. Honestly, it was a miracle that I survived the week. On one of the last nights, I felt God nudging me to share my story with the middle school girls I was leading.

But…I didn’t want to. Aren’t the adult leaders supposed to be strong and capable, protective and constantly aware?

As I told my small but important story of God’s provision, it was almost like I could feel his presence more. It solidified in me the miracle God was performing, and it became a huge encouragement for my girls to lean in and experience God in their own lives.

Turns out, students don’t need perfect leaders, but rather Christ-chasing examples of how to push through difficulty and move beyond their comfort zones. Showing others your weakness doesn’t diminish you in their eyes, but rather brings Christ’s strength into dazzling display.

Turns out, Paul knew what he was talking about:

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Say Yes

When you say “yes” to God, the road doesn’t get paved with gold. But say “yes” anyway. Something better is waiting on the other side.

In my own life, I’ve had things God has helped me overcome immediately, and there are other things that become a longer drawn-out process (more on my own personal journey with that here). Sometimes struggles resurface, and the Enemy is waiting for us to take the bait to quit. Instead, we push forward, living stones looking to emulate our foundation.

I went to Middle School Camp to bless students, but it turns out that God had brought me there to speak to me—to remind me of all the ways He’s carried me through in the past, and that He won’t drop me flat this time around either.

When I’m tempted to doubt God’s presence or purpose, I remember Middle School Camp, and how God gave me supernatural energy when I needed it most. When you say “yes” to Him, you never know where you’ll end up… or how he’ll show up.

“He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God.” - Psalm 62:6-7

Go be a living stone. Trust in your foundation. And if you’re looking for a chance to get on the front lines of God changing lives, this years’ Middle School Camp is just around the corner.

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Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.

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