The Four Roles You Were Made to Master

As a treasured child of God, you’re called to become a friend, a warrior, a king or queen, and a father or mother—four roles that reflect the character of God and push you toward the life he made you for.

Before you figure out your purpose, accomplish something significant, or prove anything to anybody, you need a foundation: you are a treasured child of the Most High God.

John 1 says that everyone who receives Jesus and believes in his name is given “the right to become children of God” (John 1:12).

You don’t earn your way into God’s family by becoming impressive enough, disciplined enough, or spiritual enough. Quite the opposite, actually. You become part of God’s family when you accept that you can’t get in on your own merits, but need Jesus to pave the way for you. Everything else grows from there.

In the lives of the Biblical greats, including David and Jesus, you’ll see four roles: friend, warrior, king, and father. These aren’t four boxes to check so God will love you. They’re callings you grow into because He already does.

While some of this language lands especially hard for men, these callings apply to women too. Friend. Warrior. King or queen. Father or mother.

1. Friend (You Weren’t Made to Do Life Alone)

Every person needs to learn how to be a friend and how to have friends.

David had Jonathan. He also had his mighty men—a group of people who shared his appetite for challenge, adventure, and following God. Jesus built his ministry around relationships too. He gathered disciples, lived alongside them, taught them, challenged them, and eventually told them, “I have called you friends” (John 15:15).

We weren’t made to do life alone.

The problem is that friendship doesn’t usually happen while you’re sitting by yourself waiting for somebody to text. Friendship forms while you’re doing something together. You work. Build. Hunt. Cook. Read. Serve. Play. Create. Take a risk. Go somewhere.

Deep friendships often grow from shared interests, shared experiences, and shared purpose.

Find people who understand your world and want to be in it. Better yet, find people who want God at the center of it.

You need people around you who make you better. And somebody else needs you to become that kind of friend for them.

2. Warrior (Run Toward the Fight)

Being a warrior doesn’t require joining the military, hunting, owning a weapon, or having any interest in MMA.

It means recognizing that there are things in your life worth fighting for.

Your marriage may require a fight. Getting out of debt can be a fight. Parenting can be a fight. Breaking an addiction can be a fight. Having the conversation you’ve avoided can be a fight.

The longer you ignore those battles, the bigger they tend to become.

That’s what makes the story of David and Goliath so powerful. While everyone else backed away from the giant, David moved toward him. 1st Samuel 17:48 says David “ran quickly toward the battle line.”

When you see a problem, run toward it.

Open the bill. Have the conversation. Address what’s happening with your kid. Deal with the mess you’ve been pretending will eventually fix itself.

There are things in your life that will only change when you exert energy and decide, This is mine to fight.

Psalm 144:1 says, “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.”

There are things that aren’t right in your life. God’s put you there to fight for them.

Don’t wait for somebody else to handle it.

Run toward it.

3. King or Queen (Bring Order and Expand)

Being a king or queen isn’t about having an impressive title. You don’t need to be a CEO, elected official, pastor, or president of anything.

Instead, it means recognizing that God has entrusted territory to you.

Your home is territory. Your finances are territory. Your relationships, job, family, apartment, business, and influence are territory.

Kings and queens do two things with their territory: (1) they bring order, and (2) they expand.

Most kids and teenagers haven’t learned to be a king or queen. You can tell by the state of their rooms. They’re messy, smelly, and most parents deal with them by keeping the door shut.

When you become a king or queen, messes bother you. You want things in order. You want to be responsible for what is under your charge and to oversee it well. This applies well beyond just organization and cleanliness.

Your marriage needs order. Your finances need order. Your home needs order. Your business needs order. Whatever God has put under your care requires your attention and work to order it… and then expand it.

Jesus is a king, and his kingdom is always expanding. At the end of Matthew, he sends his followers into the world to make disciples. The good they’ve experienced isn’t supposed to stop with them. It’s supposed to move outward.

David understood this too—until he stopped.

2 Samuel 11 opens by telling us that during the season “when kings go out to battle,” David stayed home. He stopped engaging the territory entrusted to him. His attention wandered somewhere it never should have gone—his friend’s wife—and the rest of his life was never the same.

His collapse didn’t begin with the affair. It began when he stopped kinging.

There is territory God has given you to oversee. Don’t abandon it.

Start bringing order to the things you’re responsible for. Then start looking for where God wants you to expand your influence, generosity, leadership, family, service, or impact.

4. Father or Mother (Take Responsibility for Another Life)

The final calling might be the most costly.

At its core, fathering and mothering mean taking responsibility for another life.

That absolutely happens through parenting, but it isn’t limited to biological children.

Young Life leaders, investing in high schoolers around the country, are parenting them. Volunteers in Kids’ Club show up every week to father and mother the kids in their rooms, developing them spiritually. Teachers, coaches, and mentors do the same.

Jesus never had biological children, but he constantly took responsibility for people. He nurtured them, taught them, honored them, challenged them, and prepared them to carry on the work after him.

That kind of responsibility requires sacrifice.

Sometimes it means getting up when you want to sleep. Spending money you’d rather spend on yourself. Giving away your Saturday. Having another difficult conversation. Showing up again and again when nobody is applauding.

You pour yourself into another person. You sacrifice. You show up. You help them become stronger. And maybe someday they’re able to show up for the next generation, like you did for them.

The Path to Impact

These four callings are hard.

Friendship requires vulnerability. Warriors step into fights. Kings and queens accept responsibility. Fathers and mothers sacrifice.

That’s also why they matter.

God isn’t calling you toward these things so you can earn his affection. You start as his treasured child. From that secure identity, he invites you into a life that increasingly reflects his character.

God is relational. God fights for what is good. God rules and brings order. God is a Father who takes responsibility for his children.

He has put something of that character in you.

Which calling is hitting you right now?

Maybe God is calling you to stop doing life alone and become a better friend. Maybe there’s a problem you’ve been avoiding and it’s time to warrior up. Maybe there’s territory in your life that needs you to bring order and begin expanding. Or maybe there’s a person God is asking you to take responsibility for—to invest in, nurture, and sacrifice for.

You don’t have to master all four today.

Pay attention to where God is tapping you on the chest.

Then take the next step.

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Full disclosure, this article was created by taking a live teaching that was crafted and delivered by a real human at Crossroads, and then asking an AI tool to summarize that teaching. It was then double-checked by a super nit-picky human editor to ensure the summary was accurate. We do not use AI to write articles for Crossroads that express original teaching, thoughts, or analyses, and we want to be certain our readers are made aware when we do use it in this way. You can watch the full teaching anytime here.

Weekend Follow-Up

The Weekend Follow-Up is a set of discussion prompts to help your group unpack the weekend. These questions are designed to help you move further and faster toward the full life you were made for. Check out this week’s questions here.