Wisdom for Relationships

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Hey, welcome to Crossroads.

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I'm so excited that you're joining us today.

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I'm Hannah Driskill and we are in an awesome series

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and we can't wait to talk to you about it

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because Crossroads is a place that you can belong

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no matter where you live or what you believe about God.

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We're in a collection of talks about wisdom,

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and today we hear from our very own pastor

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of the online church community, Andy Ryder,

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talking to us about wisdom in relationships.

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I know that's an area that I need to hear

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and I'm excited to hear what he has to say.

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But before we get to Andy,

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we're going to engage in a time of music here

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that we just call worship,

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which is us echoing to God prayers

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and listening to what He says about us as well in the process.

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So if you are at home or in a coffee shop

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or driving, wherever you're experiencing this,

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turn the volume up.

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And this is not the opportunity to lean out,

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but lean in and connect with God a little bit

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before we hear what he has to say to us today.

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- Come on. You know, I think when we sing lines like

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the battle belongs to you, you know,

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what I think we're basically saying is that,

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Lord, we leave the outcome in your hands.

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Whatever it is, we leave it in your hands.

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I think that's the proper posture to have at the Creator,

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the maker of all things is to come to Him

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with open arms and open hands saying,

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Lord, we trust you with the outcome of our lives,

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with the outcome of this world.

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That's why we sing.

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I like us as we continue to worship the Lord through song

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just to open our hands up,

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to have a posture of trust before Him.

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Hands open wide, ready to receive whatever He has for us

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because I believe He is more than able in any situation.

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He is more than able, the God we sing to,

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the God we love, the God we trust,

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the God that we're trying to figure out.

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This is the right way to approach Him

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because He has things for us.

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He has things He wants to download to us,

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and if we open our hands and open our hearts,

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I think we show Him that we come ready for whatever He has.

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No matter the outcome, we know it's in your hands.

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So we sing.

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- Let me pray for us.

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Lord, it's such a beauty to be in Your presence,

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to sing to You, to get our bodies in line with who You are,

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with the truth, that you are a good father

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set out to have relationship with your kids.

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So for that, Lord, we turn our attention

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and our affection to You in this moment

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and just say thank you for all You've done

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and for who You are.

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Would your Holy Spirit fill our lives and fill our hearts.

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We're so thankful. Amen.

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We all want a life that works.

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We buy books, we listen to podcasts,

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and we follow gurus who promise the secret to what we crave:

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a life full of meaning, connection, fun and adventure.

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We look to those who have done well before us

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and we ask ourselves, How can I get some of that?

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We seek knowledge and understanding,

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but we need something deeper:

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we need wisdom.

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The Bible gives us a path to wisdom

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laid out in three Old Testament books,

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often called The Wisdom Literature.

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Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Job are the roadmap

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to understanding where godly wisdom comes from

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and what God has to say about how to live our lives well.

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- One of the reasons we do Go Trips is because

00:21:18

we know that it is an action filled adventure

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that is sure to leave us all changed.

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I recently went on a Go Trip

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and I certainly came back with a new perspective

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and a few new passions.

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And if you are interested in learning more about that

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or how you can get engaged,

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you can go to Crossroads.net/Go.

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Whether we're talking about global partnerships,

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local partnerships, when we give,

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we are partnering with organizations

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who are making a difference in their own communities,

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who are maybe investing in the church.

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And if you want to be a part of that,

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if you want to learn more about how to give,

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how to partner with people who are making a difference,

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you can go to Crossroads.net/give.

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Well, I'm so excited for what comes next

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because we get to hear from our online pastor, Andy Ryder,

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who's talking about wisdom in relationships.

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And if you're watching this,

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I bet you have a relationship, whether it's with

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a partner or a kid or a family member or a parent,

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you know that maybe you need a little bit of wisdom.

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I know I need a little bit of wisdom.

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So let's hear what Andy has to say right now.

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Welcome to Crossroads.

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- My name is Andy Reider,

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Community pastor of Crossroads Anywhere.

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I promise there's a reason for this.

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Today we're talking about wisdom.

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But I want to start off

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by telling you a quick pizza related story.

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The year was 2010, and a guy,

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28 year old guy named Laszlo Hanyecz put in a request

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in an online forum that if someone would just send him

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two delicious pizzas, he would send them back 10,000 Bitcoin.

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Now 10,000 Bitcoin for two large, honestly,

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fairly mediocre pizzas.

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Do you have any sense of what 10,000 bitcoin

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would be worth in today's value?

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$347 million. I mean $347 million for two pizzas.

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If Laszlo could have just waited.

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All right, back to my day job.

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Now. I tell you that story because I think it highlights

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the difference between having information,

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having knowledge, and having wisdom.

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You know, Laszlo had all kinds of information.

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He had the information that he needed. Right?

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He knew the current exchange rate of Bitcoin

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when the value was $41 and he knew what two pizzas were worth.

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And so he did his calculation and made his decision.

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But I think we'd all agree. Right?

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Like that's different than wisdom.

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There's a difference between knowledge and wisdom.

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I heard somebody describe it this way.

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I really, really liked it.

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But like, knowledge is facts.

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Knowledge is knowing facts.

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Wisdom takes it further and is having facts,

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having information, but knowing how to apply them.

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But then there's even something bigger,

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something better than that that is godly wisdom.

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And godly wisdom is when you have wisdom, you have facts,

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and you know how to apply those things over a lifetime

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with how God designed you and designed the universe.

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There's this quote that I just love by C.S Lewis

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where he says,

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"You can go against the grain of the universe,

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but you're going to get splinters."

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And I think that happens, right?

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Like, we as a generation

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have more information than anyone ever.

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We have more access, like, right in our hands or,

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you know, we can get more information,

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more data than at any point in human history.

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And we also have greater levels of anxiety,

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greater levels of depression,

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greater levels of uncertainty about the future

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than any generation before us.

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There's something about knowledge

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that just isn't enough.

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It's not translating into wisdom,

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and I believe most importantly, godly wisdom

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for us to actually walk through life successfully.

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So I want to read you something here. This is Proverbs 4.

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And Proverbs is a book of the Bible

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that really highlights the importance of wisdom.

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But Proverbs doesn't mean wisdom.

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Proverbs actually means comparison.

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That's what that Hebrew word means.

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It's actually defining for us a comparison

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between what it looks like to take one path,

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and that is to live without wisdom and compare that

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against what it looks like to live with wisdom.

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Proverbs 4:5-7 just highlights the need,

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the desperation, the importance of wisdom, saying this:

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Get wisdom, get understanding;

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do not forget my words or swerve from them.

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Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you.;

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love her, and she will watch over you.

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Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.

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Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

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Man, I think that's just such a beautiful picture

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of what you and I want, of what you and I need.

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We need wisdom. We want true understanding.

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We want true godly wisdom to know how to live.

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You know, think of it this way, like,

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nobody wants to end up in a dead end job

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or an unhealthy relationship or a broken home

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or a failed marriage or a career they hate.

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No one wants to tank their lives, right?

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The same way Laszlo

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or no one would want to give away $347 million.

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Nobody wants those things.

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And yet there's something about

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trying to walk through life on our own,

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trying to figure it all out on our own

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that just sets us up for failure.

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But God didn't intend that for us.

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God actually set up a structure

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where we could receive wisdom from Him, from God,

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from Him, from himself and from other people

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that have walked through life before us.

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And so I want to go back to Proverbs 4

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and zoom out a little bit to show you

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just one more thing from that passage.

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Proverbs 4 starts off saying this:

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Listen, my son, to a father's instruction;

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pay attention and gain understanding.

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I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.

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For I too was a son to my father,

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still tender, and cherished by my mother.

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Then he taught me, and he said to me,

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"Take hold of my words with all your heart;

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keep my commands, and you will live.

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Get wisdom, get understanding;

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do not forsake my words or turn from them.

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Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;

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love her, and she'll watch over you.

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The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.

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Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

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Now, there was a lot there, but I hope you heard in there

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who this was referring to, right?

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This book is written, Book of Proverbs is written

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by this guy Solomon.

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He's known as like the wisest guy to have ever lived.

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And he's writing these words,

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but he's describing where he got the wisdom.

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He's saying these are things my father showed me.

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These are things my father taught me.

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I'm receiving his words as wisdom

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and letting them direct how I walk through life.

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Now, getting advice is one thing, but getting advice

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from, like, a really great person

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whose life you'd like to emulate, that's another thing.

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Now, the guy that Solomon was getting wisdom from

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is a character you might know, he's a guy from the Bible

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who honestly had a lot of wins and a lot of losses.

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He was a poet. He was a warrior.

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He was a general. He was a worshiper.

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He was a murderer. He was an adulterer.

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He killed his best friend. He slayed giants.

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This guy was David.

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David is the guy whose wisdom we are receiving

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through the Book of Proverbs.

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And just, I love that.

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Like, that reminds me, David, for all of his faults,

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he was brave, he was strong, he was courageous,

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he led, he was humbled,

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he failed and sometimes spectacularly.

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But he was still known as a man after God's own heart.

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It was a guy who led boldly, led courageously, and, man,

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the world is a different place because of him.

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So when I think, man, that's a guy whose wisdom

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I really, really want to receive.

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And it's not just, like, who the wisdom is coming from,

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it's when the wisdom is coming, right?

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The wisdom that we're receiving here,

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what we just heard described in Proverbs 4

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is sort of like the last words from David, right?

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It's sort of like final thoughts from a father

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to his son before the father passes away.

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And this idea, like, this idea of, like, famous last words

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or wisdom passed on before we lose a loved one

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is, like, so baked into our DNA, into our culture,

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even into our entertainment, that I just love it.

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I can think of so many examples.

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You think of, like, famous last words

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that passed on little nuggets of wisdom.

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You've got Obi-Wan.

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- You can't win, Darth.

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If you strike me down, I shall become

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more powerful than you can possibly imagine

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- You've got Yoda.

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- Luke,

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the Force runs strong in your family.

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Pass on what you have learned

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- You've got Jack and Rose on the Titanic.

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- Promise me that you'll survive,

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that you won't give up no matter what happens,

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no matter how hopeless.

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- It's --

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- Promise me now, Rose,

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and never let go of that promise.

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- I promise. - You've even got Rocky.

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- What I'm trying to say is

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- if I can change. - [translator]

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- Then you can change. - [translator]

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- Everybody can change. - [translator].

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[cheers and applause]

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- We've got all kinds of wisdom passed on.

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There's something about it being last words,

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last bits of wisdom that I think just elevates it

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and takes it to another level.

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That's what we're receiving here in Proverbs.

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And as I was preparing for this talk,

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I was actually reminded of three people,

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three people in my life who have instilled wisdom

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into me deeply before they passed away,

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whose wisdom and the things they've shared with me,

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like, just occupy a special place in my attention,

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a special place even in my habits,

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because of the importance of their lives

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and their legacy in me.

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And I want to introduce you to them today.

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I want to introduce you to them.

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I want to give you a narrative.

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I want to walk you through some different places

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in the Bible to get wisdom and also

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some different characters in my own life in the hopes

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that you can approach life with more boldness,

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with more confidence, with more clarity,

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with more certainty, even in the midst of uncertainty.

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I say this, not as a guy who has everything dialed in

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or everything with a pretty bow on it.

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My life is insane.

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I've been living out of suitcases

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for the last five weeks as our home that my wife and I

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and our family have been working on for eight years.

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Like, we believe this is a thing

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God put on our hearts eight years ago.

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We've been working at this thing.

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It's still not ready.

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It's still not ready.

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It's costing more. It's taking longer.

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And we're living out of suitcases

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with kids seven, five and four.

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Straight up, it sucks. It sucks.

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And we just found out there was another delay,

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we don't know where the money is going to come from.

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We don't know we're going to live next week.

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Life is insane right now and I'm not freaking out,

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like, I've seen God show up.

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I feel like He's giving me some wisdom through these people

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that I want to pass along so that no matter

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what's in front of you, no matter what uncertainty,

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no matter what challenge, you have some gas in the tank.

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You aren't just trying to figure it out on your own.

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You are walking forward with God's wisdom for your life.

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So the first character that I want to introduce you to is,

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she is absolutely a character.

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Her name is Kathy Beechum.

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Her legacy around here is absolutely enormous.

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Not a week goes by where somebody in leadership isn't,

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like, what would Kathy say or do in this situation?

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She is one of those people who's just a success,

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like, you know, those people who are a success professionally

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and they're just like rock stars climbing the corporate ladder.

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And then, you know, those people who like personally,

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they're just loved, like, well thought of.

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They're intentional people. They're thoughtful people.

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They're highly connected.

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Kathy was both of those things to the extreme.

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Like, at a ten.

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She was -- well, she started life actually

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humble beginnings, was actually a nun in a convent.

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She joined the order when she was very, very young.

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And by some accounts, she was not a very good nun.

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If you're wondering which one she is,

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she's got the white and the black with the cross.

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Yes, that's Kathy. She was amazing.

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But she started off this.

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Apparently she wasn't a great nun.

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If I'm remembering the story correctly, she was,

00:33:44

like, sneaking out in the parking lot

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and smoking cigarettes and drinking booze

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and then going back in for mass.

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But she started life there and basically grew

00:33:54

to this point of being a C-suite executive

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at one of the largest banks in the country.

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She did it all and she was the most relationally connected

00:34:02

and invested person I have ever met.

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She's just one of those people like you see

00:34:07

the way she runs her life,

00:34:08

the way she orders her personal life,

00:34:10

the way she orders her professional life,

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the way she orders her relationships.

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It's like, man, I wish I could do that.

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She just seemed like she had enormous capacity.

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And I was at a point in my life where I was

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honestly a bit depressed.

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I was feeling really, really stuck.

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Like, I didn't know what I was supposed to do with my life.

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I was feeling lost, a bit uncertain,

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very, very stuck, very undervalued.

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And Kathy sat me down and she actually offered me

00:34:36

a job that led to the job that I have now.

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And the reason I took it, in large part,

00:34:40

was because I would have the chance to report to her.

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And I knew I wanted her wisdom.

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And one of our very, very first one on ones,

00:34:48

she sat me down and she held out this notebook,

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like, an actual, honest to God, like red notebook.

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And she opened up, every page was covered, like,

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all the margins, every page was covered with,

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like, this just illegible handwriting.

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She said, "This is my notebook."

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And I said, "That's great, Kathy/"

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She said, "In this notebook, I have a ritual that I do.

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Every Sunday night I sit down and I say,

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"Who wouldn't want to be the next week?"

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And want to pause there and say, and ask you a question.

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How many different hats do you wear over the course of a week?

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How many different hats do you wear,

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do you put on the hat of an employee,

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the hat of a husband or a wife,

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the hat of a brother or a sister or a friend

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or a boss or an employee or a follower of Jesus?

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How many different hats do you wear over the course of a week?

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This is how Kathy approached her week.

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She would sit down with her notebook

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and she would talk to God.

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She would write down each hat that she was going to occupy,

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each hat that she was going to wear that week.

00:35:47

And she would say, "What would it look like

00:35:48

for me to be a better wife this week?

00:35:51

What would it look like

00:35:52

for me to be a better employee this week?

00:35:55


00:35:56

for me to be a better manager this week?

00:35:57


00:35:58

for me to be a better friend this week?"

00:36:00

And she would make a plan.

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She would make a plan.

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And then, believe it or not, she would actually do those things.

00:36:06

And man, people felt so loved and cared for

00:36:09

and known and seen by her.

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It was just amazing.

00:36:13

Psalm 90:12 says this:

00:36:16

So teach us to number our days,

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that we might gain a heart of wisdom.

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I love that verse and I love it even more

00:36:24

because someone shared with me a while back

00:36:26

that that number, teach us to number our days,

00:36:29

doesn't just mean to count, right?

00:36:30

That's what I would think of.

00:36:32

It doesn't mean teach us to count our days.

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It actually means teach us to appoint our days.

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It's saying we want to do something intentional

00:36:40

with the time we've been given.

00:36:42

Teach us to appoint the days and the hours

00:36:44

and the minutes and the months and the years

00:36:46

and the decades that we've been given

00:36:48

so that we might live wisely.

00:36:52

That's what Kathy did. She appointed her days.

00:36:55

She appointed her days to be an amazing wife,

00:36:59

to be an amazing manager, because she was, man,

00:37:02

to be an amazing employee, to be an amazing friend.

00:37:05

Hey, you want a legacy like Kathy's,

00:37:09

a legacy of deep wisdom and incredible intentionality.

00:37:15

What would happen in your life if you lived that way

00:37:18

for one week, for one month, or for one year?

00:37:23

Man, I think if you made a habit like Kathy's,

00:37:28

you could do what Psalm 90:12 says,

00:37:31

that you could live with wisdom.

00:37:35

I'm grateful for Kathy's wisdom.

00:37:37

And it reminds me actually of a second character

00:37:40

that I want to introduce you to.

00:37:41

This one's a bit more personal, a bit closer to home to me.

00:37:46

And I want to describe the kind of person that she was.

00:37:48

You know those people who are just the life of the party.

00:37:51

Like, people are just, like, they just have, like,

00:37:53

this magnetic pull to them.

00:37:54

People are drawn to them.

00:37:55

They're charismatic, they're energetic.

00:37:57

But even more than that, they're not just entertaining,

00:38:00

like, they're real, right?

00:38:02

Like, they'll say the thing that nobody else will say.

00:38:04

They'll say the thing that everybody's thinking,

00:38:06

but too shy or too insecure to say.

00:38:08

And don't you just love those people?

00:38:10

Like, this was my sister, Katie.

00:38:14

Katie was absolutely that magnetic personality.

00:38:18

And I thought it was just, like, who she was.

00:38:20

I thought it was, like, just her personality or just,

00:38:22

like, hardwired into her DNA.

00:38:25

And it wasn't until much later in her life

00:38:28

that we actually had a conversation about it,

00:38:30

because I noticed on her notebooks,

00:38:32

even on, like, the inside brim of her hat,

00:38:35

she had three letters written everywhere,

00:38:38

everywhere, every notebook, every little scraps of paper

00:38:41

or like her hat,

00:38:42

everywhere she'd have three letters written.

00:38:44

And I asked her like, "Hey, what is what does that mean?"

00:38:48

And the letters were R, T and V.

00:38:51

I asked her what that meant, and she said,

00:38:54

"That's who I choose to be every day.

00:38:57

RTV is who I try and decide to be every day when I wake up

00:39:01

and I put reminders all over my life

00:39:04

to remind myself to be R, T, and V."

00:39:08

So I was just like, hooked.

00:39:09

I was like, what does it mean?

00:39:11

That sounds amazing. That's so important.

00:39:13

She's like, "Every day I choose to be real,

00:39:16

to be transparent and to be vulnerable."

00:39:20

I got to tell you, it's one thing to be real.

00:39:23

It's one thing to be transparent.

00:39:24

It's one thing to be vulnerable when everything's great.

00:39:27

It's a much, much, much different thing

00:39:30

to be when it's not.

00:39:31

And that's what the world needs,

00:39:33

they need people who are going to be themselves,

00:39:36

they're going to be a real person

00:39:38

no matter what's going on.

00:39:39

And Kathy -- sorry, my sister Katie,

00:39:42

she practiced this to the extreme.

00:39:45

Katie was an incredible musician.

00:39:47

I come from a family of musicians, and Katie was,

00:39:50

I think, by far we would all say the most talented.

00:39:53

She was even getting, like, some national prominence,

00:39:55

like, record deals and that kind of stuff.

00:39:57

And then she got sick. She got sick.

00:39:59

We thought it was something really, really minor at first,

00:40:02

but it ended up being a really incredibly, incredibly rare

00:40:06

non-cancerous tumor at the base of her skull.

00:40:09

Her doctor was literally calling people in China to,

00:40:11

like, try and figure out what to do with this thing.

00:40:14

And we just saw her health deteriorate.

00:40:17

We saw her go from being the most --

00:40:19

the life of the party, the most vibrant, energetic person

00:40:22

to being 90 pounds, lost her right eye,

00:40:26

could barely function, could barely move.

00:40:28

And watching her on stage performing

00:40:33

and being real transparent and vulnerable is one thing.

00:40:36

But watching someone suffer,

00:40:39

watching someone endure, watching someone

00:40:42

go through unimaginable, unimaginable illness

00:40:46

and still decide to be real,

00:40:49

to be transparent and to be vulnerable,

00:40:51

to share with other people what she was feeling,

00:40:53

what she was thinking, what she was --

00:40:55

the ways that she was hurting was beautiful.

00:40:59

And honestly, I think Jesus loved it.

00:41:01

I think Jesus loved her authenticity,

00:41:04

her RTV-ness in that moment.

00:41:06

And I even think of, like, I even --

00:41:10

honestly, hearing her talk reminds me of the Psalms.

00:41:13

Again, we're coming back to David time and time again.

00:41:16

It reminds me of the Psalms that David wrote

00:41:18

where he didn't mince his words,

00:41:20

he didn't pretend everything was great when it wasn't.

00:41:23

But David was real, transparent and vulnerable.

00:41:28

Here's one, he just said, and you can you can almost hear

00:41:31

the agony in his voice as he says this.

00:41:33

And I think Katie would have related to these words.

00:41:36

How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?

00:41:39

How long will you hide your face from me?

00:41:42

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

00:41:44

and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

00:41:48

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

00:41:50

Look on me and answer, Lord, my God.

00:41:53

Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death.

00:41:56

And my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

00:41:58

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

00:42:01

But I trust in your unfailing love.

00:42:05

My heart rejoices in your salvation.

00:42:08

I will sing the Lord's praise for he has been good to me.

00:42:13

There's so much going on in that few verses

00:42:16

that I'd love to unpack,

00:42:17

but there's a deep, deep, deep sense of, like,

00:42:21

being unwilling to lie, being unwilling to say something

00:42:25

trite or fake or a half truth

00:42:29

when we have an opportunity to be honest, to be authentic,

00:42:32

to be real, transparent and vulnerable.

00:42:35

That's wisdom from the Psalms,

00:42:38

that's wisdom from the Proverbs,

00:42:39

and that's wisdom from my sister

00:42:41

that, man, we are a world that has too much that's shellacked,

00:42:45

that has too much that's edited or cropped or filtered out.

00:42:50

Like, we need people who are willing to be real,

00:42:54

to be transparent and to be vulnerable.

00:42:57

It is something that, again, I'm trying to practice right now.

00:43:02

I think Christianity gets this, like, viewpoint

00:43:05

that it's not -- it's irrelevant to real life

00:43:07

because it only talks about like lofty ideas

00:43:10

or love or pie in the sky theology.

00:43:13

The Bible is gritty and raw and real.

00:43:17

Anyone who reads the Bible or anything else

00:43:19

and tells you life is all great

00:43:20

and it's all going to have a pretty bow on it,

00:43:22

they are selling you something.

00:43:24

That is not my goal today.

00:43:26

I want you to understand that life can be incredibly beautiful

00:43:29

and can at times be incredibly brutal.

00:43:33

And God wants to walk with you through

00:43:36

each of those extremes and everything in between.

00:43:39

God wants to give you wisdom.

00:43:40

God wants to give you boldness.

00:43:42

God wants to give you confidence.

00:43:43

God wants to give you discernment

00:43:45

for anything that life throws your way.

00:43:48

And even in the midst of it, you can be real,

00:43:52

you can be transparent, you can be vulnerable.

00:43:56

You can live with the kind of wisdom that David had.

00:44:01

Now, the thing that got me thinking about this whole topic,

00:44:06

whole topic was actually a friend and a mentor

00:44:09

that I lost just a couple of weeks ago.

00:44:12

His name was David, ironically, his name was David.

00:44:15

David was a dear friend and a mentor,

00:44:17

a guy who started really investing in me

00:44:20

around what it looked like to do online ministry

00:44:23

a year or two before I even gotten this job.

00:44:27

Like, he was a guy who cared deeply about the tech world.

00:44:31

He was an entrepreneur.

00:44:32

He was a big business guy who --

00:44:34

big tech startup guy did stuff with,

00:44:37

even with the Pentagon and security applications.

00:44:40

But he started meeting with me and he was, like,

00:44:43

"Hey, there's an incredible opportunity here

00:44:45

to do ministry in the online space."

00:44:47

And he started just investing in me about that.

00:44:50

Now, he was doing some work over in London

00:44:53

this past November and was just in an accident,

00:44:57

just a freak bicycle accident.

00:45:00

Ended up fracturing multiple vertebrae in his neck,

00:45:02

effectively paralyzing him.

00:45:03

He was in a coma for two and a half months

00:45:06

and couldn't get him back to the US

00:45:08

because he wasn't stable enough to be transported.

00:45:10

So he was alone and in an induced coma

00:45:13

for a long, long, long time.

00:45:15

So fast forward about six months to when I finally --

00:45:18

he's back in the US.

00:45:20

I was finally able to drive out to where he was

00:45:23

and visit him.

00:45:24

I just had no idea what to expect.

00:45:26

I had no idea what he was going to say.

00:45:27

I didn't know what kind of shape he was in.

00:45:29

And so I was shocked, you know, seeing a friend

00:45:32

sort of in a very different stage, totally paralyzed.

00:45:38

We were at the rehab center and we're talking

00:45:41

and I said something dumb.

00:45:43

I was like, "How are you doing?"

00:45:45

I honestly don't even remember what I said,

00:45:46

but it was something dumb.

00:45:48

And he just said -- he just, like, looked at me

00:45:50

with just these eyes that just communicated

00:45:53

he had seen and experienced things over the last six months

00:45:57

that I could not have imagined.

00:45:59

He said -- He just looked at me and said,

00:46:03

"You know, Andy, you can lose everything,

00:46:09

except God will never leave you."

00:46:13

And that's a thing somebody could have said to me

00:46:15

in any other context, and it would have meant this much.

00:46:17

But in the context of his experience, it meant so much.

00:46:21

A guy who'd lost everything,

00:46:22

his ability to care for himself in every way.

00:46:25

He was literally left with only his own thoughts and Jesus.

00:46:30

Proverbs actually says this same exact thing.

00:46:33

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.

00:46:37

You guide me with your counsel,

00:46:38

and afterward you take me into glory.

00:46:41

Whom have I in heaven but you?

00:46:43

And Earth has nothing I desire besides you.

00:46:46

My flesh and my heart may fail,

00:46:49

but God is the strength of my heart and portion forever.

00:46:55

David unfortunately passed away two weeks ago

00:46:58

due to some complications, but I wanted to take this moment

00:47:01

to share with you the wisdom that he shared with me

00:47:04

and a bit of his legacy and a bit of just the wisdom

00:47:08

for understanding that no matter what you might be feeling

00:47:11

right now, no matter what you might be experiencing right now,

00:47:16

God's not done with you.

00:47:18

You might resonate with a bit of what David said

00:47:22

and what David experienced of,

00:47:24

man, I feel like I've lost everything.

00:47:26

Because that relationship ended

00:47:28

or that career went away

00:47:29

or that addiction is taking hold in my life

00:47:33

where I'm just lonely or whatever.

00:47:35

It could be a million things where you just feel alone,

00:47:38

where you just feel stuck,

00:47:40

where you might even feel paralyzed by fear

00:47:43

about what the future might hold.

00:47:45

And you need to know God is with you.

00:47:49

You are not alone.

00:47:53

Scripture is really, really clear that God's love for you

00:47:56

will pursue you to any depth, to any length,

00:47:59

that there's nothing that we can do to outrun God's love for us.

00:48:05

That however alone you feel, you don't have to stay that way.

00:48:08

However stuck you feel, you don't have to stay that way.

00:48:12

However ashamed you feel about parts of your past,

00:48:16

you don't have to stay that way.

00:48:18

God wants to offer you a new day.

00:48:21

God wants to offer you wisdom to move forward,

00:48:24

to experience more of the life that he intends for you.

00:48:28

This is not in the Psalms or the Proverbs,

00:48:32

but it's a poem that I just love.

00:48:35

It's a poem that I actually have

00:48:36

right next to where I make my coffee every morning.

00:48:40

And says this: This is the beginning of a new day.

00:48:47

I can waste it or I can use it for good.

00:48:51

What I do today is important because

00:48:53

I'm exchanging a day of my life for it.

00:48:57

When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever,

00:49:01

leaving in its place something that I've traded for it.

00:49:05

I want it to be a gain, and not a loss;

00:49:08

I want it to be good, and not evil;

00:49:11

I want it to be success, and not failure

00:49:14

in order that I shall not regret the price that I paid today.

00:49:20

Now I think Kathy would resonate with those words.

00:49:25

Kathy's wisdom would resonate

00:49:26

with wanting to live intentionally, to experience,

00:49:30

man, what can happen when we live our days,

00:49:32

when we appoint our days intentionally

00:49:35

the way that God would have us.

00:49:36

I think that's in this little poem that I shared with you.

00:49:39

I think my sister Katie would love these words

00:49:42

about living each day intentionally

00:49:45

and not living with pretense, or pretending

00:49:47

like we have everything together when we don't,

00:49:49

but living authentically.

00:49:51

I think that's in this poem

00:49:53

and I think it's in the Proverbs and the Psalms.

00:49:55

I think it's living wisely.

00:49:58

But I think there's something here that's even deeper

00:50:00

and even more core and more important than that.

00:50:04

And it's this idea that I take from David's life

00:50:07

and honestly, I take from my friend David's death as well,

00:50:10

that no matter what happens, God will never leave you.

00:50:15

You can lose everything, but you cannot lose Jesus.

00:50:19

There's nothing you have done or nothing you will do

00:50:22

that can cut you off from his love for you.

00:50:26

There's always, always, always chance for redemption,

00:50:30

for restoration, for renewal,

00:50:32

for fresh hope, and for fresh life.

00:50:37

God's not done with you.

00:50:40

You need to hear that and you need to believe it.

00:50:44

And some of you might be hearing this for the first time

00:50:47

and it might be new to you

00:50:48

or it might be resonating with you in a fresh way

00:50:51

where like, "I want, like, I want to believe that

00:50:54

and I want that for myself."

00:50:57

If that's you and you want to acknowledge

00:51:00

your inability to fix yourself,

00:51:04

but your ultimate trust and faith in a God

00:51:07

who loves you and cares for you and who can redeem you

00:51:11

and who has paid the price for you,

00:51:14

then I'd love for you to pray this prayer with me.

00:51:17

As a reflection that, as this poem says,

00:51:21

that we're exchanging a day of our life,

00:51:22

there's a price that has been paid for today and for tomorrow,

00:51:27

that that's not a price that you and I have to pay.

00:51:32

That that's a price that Jesus has paid for you and for me,

00:51:36

so that we can approach tomorrow with confidence,

00:51:39

with boldness, with wisdom, and with new life.

00:51:44

If that resonates with you, I want you to just join me

00:51:47

in saying a simple prayer.

00:51:51

Father, we just acknowledge, I acknowledge

00:51:56

that I can't fix things on my own,

00:52:01

that I don't have the wisdom to go through life on my own.

00:52:06

God, that I am broken and am in need of a savior.

00:52:12

And the only person who can save me,

00:52:14

the only person who can put me back together is you, Jesus.

00:52:19

And I promise to spend every day I'm given

00:52:23

this day and every one I'm given into the future

00:52:27

to do my best to live wisely after your example

00:52:32

and following your will for my life.

00:52:37

Guide me and help us to live wisely.

00:52:44

- Thank you so much for watching and joining us today.

00:52:47

Hey, if you stuck around this long,

00:52:48

you might be interested in some things

00:52:50

that are going on and happening around Crossroads

00:52:53

and maybe some things that are even happening

00:52:55

around you wherever you live.

00:52:56

To learn more and to get engaged,

00:52:58

you can download the Crossroads Anywhere App

00:53:01

wherever you get your apps, or you can go to

00:53:02

crossroads.net/Anywhere.

00:53:05

We'll see you next time.

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