Pride Is Toxic | The Cure Week 3

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We're talking about one of the biggest toxins

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in our culture today, it destroys your relationships,

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it will keep you at odds with God and we're finding the cure.

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And believe it or not, the cure is in this abandoned house.

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- Hey, I'm Brian, Senior Pastor at Crossroads.

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Before we get started today, I want to show you

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some really, really cool things have happened

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through our church over the past year.

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We all know 2020 had crazy stressful times,

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the world seemed to be falling apart at various times,

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and yet God was using our church Crossroads

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to make a significant difference.

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Every year we do an annual report.

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We just try to celebrate the things that God

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has enabled to happen through our church,

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through faithfulness of givers like you and I.

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And the list of things that have happened

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just keeps getting longer and longer.

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And it gives me more reason to be thankful for God using us

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and thankful to be in ministry with you.

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And I want you to feel that way, too.

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So we've got an annual report and it's pretty, pretty cool.

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We want you to get it.

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You're going to be able to get it

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at Crossroads.net/annualreport.

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We're going to email it to you.

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We want you to be able to have it.

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Go through this and see the amazing things that happened.

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You're going to see things like Compassion International.

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You know, there's all kinds of churches

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that wanted to help with Compassion International,

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having kids get sponsored to have lunches

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and their education taken care of all the way through 18.

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Do you realize that Crossroads is the only church

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in 2020 that didn't cancel.

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40% of all new sponsorships to Compassion International

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came through our church and through our broadcast.

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Way to go. That's utterly amazing.

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You can check that information

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and so many more right here on this annual report.

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And one of the things I love when I look on this

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is just the basic life change,

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because that's always what we major in:

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normal people like you and I come to know Christ

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and getting deepened in our life with Christ.

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And all of this happens, in part,

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because God uses the giving of you and I.

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There's a very small percentage of us that when we give,

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we give out of a spiritual discipline.

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It's a minority of us actually that take it personal

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that it's a commandment from God to actually give back

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to Him 10% of what He's just given me.

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And if that is years as a spiritual discipline,

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you're welcome to join many of us on the blue team.

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We'd love to have you on the blue team.

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You can go to crossroads.net/blueteam.

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We give you special encouragement,

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special information,

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and we really, really geek out over stuff like this.

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And some of us might be going, "Um, I might want

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to try that blue team. That sounds really cool,

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but I'm not tithing. I'm not ready."

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We really believe this is a spiritual test

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that God tells us that it's a spiritual test,

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the book of Malachi says test us.

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So you can take the tithe test by tithing for 90 days

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and we will refund all the money you've given

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if you don't see God showing up and blessing your life

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in some way, shape or form.

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You can go to Crossroads.net/tithetest.

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Well, check out every little bit & corner of this annual report.

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You're going to be encouraged.

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You're going to be thankful that we serve a God

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that still uses people like you and I.

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And let's get started with week three of The Cure.

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- Deep in the South African wild, the black mamba snake

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is one of the deadliest in the world.

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The snakes fangs act like a hypodermic needle,

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injecting venom quickly and efficiently.

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It only takes two drops of venom to spread toxic poison

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throughout the bloodstream.

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Luckily, if you act quickly, there is a cure

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and you can survive.

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First, a tourniquet is used

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to stop the spread of the poison through the body.

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Next, oxygen and respiratory support is given

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because the heart and lungs are weakened

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from the spread of toxins.

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Finally, the antidote to the venom is injected

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directly into the bloodstream to neutralize

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and eventually overcome the poison that is being spread.

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Now, while few of us will actually ever encounter

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a black mamba, maybe even more dangerous

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are the toxins we encounter every day.

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Navigating our current reality can feel like

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a dangerous and terrifying jungle

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full of snakes ready to bite.

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And just like a snake venom travels through our bodies

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and attacks our organs, the poisons of racial injustice

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and polarizing politics that assault us in our news feeds

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and social media accounts can quickly spread

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through our minds and hearts to damage and shut down

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our healthy thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and actions.

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The good news is that while deadly, there is actually a cure

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to everything toxic in our lives,

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an antidote within our reach that will restore health

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and vibrancy to our minds and hearts.

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Just like treating a deadly mamba bite,

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we can cut off the poison of pride

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that tells us that we have to stay in control,

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turning instead to the cure of humility.

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When our bodies and souls are shutting down

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under the stress of daily life, we can fill our lungs

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with life sustaining support from the Bible, the Word of God.

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And when it feels like our broken hearts will never heal

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and there is no hope, we can inject ourselves

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with the truth of God, the antidote that will neutralize

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the poison affecting our entire world.

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- In his autobiography, Mark Twain opens by saying,

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"What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts

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and his words, his real life is led in his head

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and is known to none but himself."

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What is he saying there?

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He's saying the externals of our life are kind of a facade.

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And what really is going on is happening inside of our lives.

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I mean, this house is an example of that. Think about it.

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This place right now is a mess. Look at this.

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There's plaster. There's all kinds of broken floor.

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But in its heyday, this place was palatial

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by the standards of the day.

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But because all the focus was on the facade,

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this place literally rotted from the inside out.

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And that's what pride does.

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We're in a series called The Cure, because look around,

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the world is toxic and you and I experience those side effects.

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But there is a cure that leads to freedom.

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And this week we're looking at the cure for pride.

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Now, I want to just tell you something about me

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that you should probably know.

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I used to sell drugs in New Jersey.

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In fact, I was so good at selling drugs in Jersey

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that I was promoted and got actually more people

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who were selling drugs for me in other states.

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Let me clarify.

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I was a pharmaceutical rep, it was legal.

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I was a pharmaceutical sales rep

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and I led a pharmaceutical sales team

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and that meant I interacted with physicians.

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And in that role, I learned how physicians think about diseases

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and how they process to identify a cure.

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And we're going to do that with pride today.

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Tim Keller is a pastor and he said

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pride is the carbon monoxide of sin. It's deadly.

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I agree with that.

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My take is pride is silent and hard to detect,

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just like carbon monoxide.

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And if left undetected, it kills.

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In fact, pride is one of those sins, one of those toxins

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that we usually realize a bit too late

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after it's already destroyed a relationship

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or perhaps already isolated us from the help that we need

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or put us at odds with God.

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And there's just no life in opposition to God.

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So we're going to walk through it like a physician would

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by first looking at the signs and symptoms of pride.

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So just what are the signs and symptoms of pride?

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Well pride is not new, people have been writing

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about pride for years, hundreds of years.

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But are seven symptoms that kind of

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just run through all the literature.

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And I think they're even relevant today.

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The first is fault finding.

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You know, that person that always seems to find

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fault in other people, but never in themselves?

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Another one is a harsh spirit, someone who's just mean,

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someone who just seems to have a kind of

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an air of superiority over other people.

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Also superficiality.

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You know that person that like, "Gosh, can you get deep?

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Can you can you not just give me the surface?"

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But then there's also defensiveness.

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Presumption before God is another one.

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This idea that, you know, God must be okay

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with me being desperate for attention.

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Or how about this one? Playing favorites,

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choosing to treat people who have more resources

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or more influence over where you want to go,

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treating them better than you would treat other people.

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You know those people. You know those people.

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The question is, where are we those people?

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I've got to tell you,

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in preparation for this message on pride,

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I've just realized that it's all about me.

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It's always been about me.

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Right now, even as I'm talking to you, I'm thinking about me.

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I'm thinking about me.

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I've been looking at my life

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and realizing pride in a lot of different places.

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One of them is this whole idea of fault finding.

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And here's what's interesting.

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I've been realizing this dialog goes on in my head all the time.

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It goes on when I'm reading something.

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It goes on right now as I'm communicating.

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It goes on when I'm trying to be a good father

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or trying to be a good husband.

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And it's three voices.

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There's the voice of the enemy.

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Yes, you have a spiritual enemy

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and he's always going to accuse you.

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Then there's the voice of God, the voice that is not accusing,

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the voice that's inviting me, that's encouraging me.

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But there's a third voice

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and it's this voice of self condemnation.

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I've got to tell you, I've realized that

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one of the ways that pride plays out in me

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is I just condemn myself over and over again

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for the ways that I don't measure up. Why?

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Because somehow I think I'm supposed to be perfect.

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Somehow I'm supposed to be a good guy.

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I'm supposed to be the person who can be better than this.

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I'm supposed to be the person who can get over this thing.

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I'm supposed to be the person

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that doesn't struggle in this way.

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And I'm just telling you, I've been listening to that voice

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for far too long and I feel like God's been helping me

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to see that's pride in me, that pride in me.

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Another way of pride shows up in my life is in superficiality.

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I never want people to see me upset.

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I have taken on the identity of being the nice guy,

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and I've taken that on to a fault.

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It doesn't mean I need to be a jerk,

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but it means that it's okay to have a range of emotions.

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And pride is the thing that would keep me from demonstrating

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that I have a full range of emotions,

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that I'm not always happy go lucky.

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These signs and symptoms of pride

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show up in all of our lives.

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Where is Pride showing up for you?

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Thankfully, though, there is a cure.

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There is a cure and the cure is found in the Bible.

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In fact, the cure is found in the person of Jesus.

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Jesus is the ultimate example of what it looks like

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to walk free of the toxin of pride.

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And in Philippians 2 we see this scripture that defines

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and describes the journey that you and I are invited to go on

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to have freedom from pride.

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So we talk signs and symptoms and we have a diagnosis,

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the disease is pride and we all suffer from it, even me.

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That's supposed to be a joke.

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But what's the cure?

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Well, we see in the scripture this simple principle.

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And I want you to hear this,

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if you don't hear anything else today,

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that the cure for pride

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is the practice of humility.

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Yes, the practice of humility.

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Now, when I say practice, think about it this way.

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What's the cure for obesity?

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Well, for most of us, it's the practice of healthy eating.

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And in the same way, there are practices

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that we can engage in that come against the toxin of pride.

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In places in the Bible like Philippians 2

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this gets blown out.

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And I love this picture because it gives us

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the picture of Jesus as one who practices humility.

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Philippians 2:3 and following say this:

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Now there are modern day translations of the Bible,

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modern day paraphrases of the Bible.

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There's one in particular called The Message,

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and I love how it captures what we just read.

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It says: Don't push your way to the front.

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Don't sweet talk your way to the top.

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Put yourself aside.

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In fact, as I read this, I just want you to think

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about how many times you hear the word privilege,

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just kind of locked down in your brain right now.

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It goes on to say:

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There's just no escaping the fact that Jesus

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is a powerful example of a life of humility,

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that in all the things that he was,

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he was humble, he was humble.

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And as we think about what we learn in that passage,

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we see some clues, we see some ways that you and I

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can do like Jesus did, that we can have a life

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and a practice of humility.

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The first thing it says is do nothing

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out of selfish ambition or conceit.

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You know what that reminds me of?

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It reminds me to ask myself, what's your intent here, Chuck?

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Is my intent to look good, even at the expense of others?

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Is my intent in a relationship in maybe

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a difficult conversation to be right

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as opposed to being relational?

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Am I going into this to tell or am I going into this to learn?

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So it starts with our intent.

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But then it also says, don't just look to your own interests,

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but also to the interests of others.

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There's this idea that humility means you defer to other people.

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It doesn't mean you demean yourself.

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It doesn't mean that you don't have healthy boundaries.

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But there's an opportunity and a freedom

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that a humble person has to defer to others,

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to consider other people's perspectives.

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Such a critical, critical thing.

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And then in verse seven it says that Jesus emptied himself.

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He took the form of a servant, like we read in the paraphrase,

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it means he laid aside privileges.

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You know what I realized? Pride is about privilege.

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There are places in my life where I feel privileged.

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I feel privileged to judge other people

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or I feel privileged to be right,

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or I have the privilege to say, "Hey,

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let's make this all about me."

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But practicing a life of humility

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is actually doing the opposite.

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It's laying aside that privilege and choosing to be humble.

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- Nineteen years ago, I started my own business.

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Like a lot of entrepreneurs, I didn't really have a plan,

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just a dream of what I thought my business could be

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and a strong work ethic.

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As the business started to grow, I remember feeling

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a really healthy sense of pride,

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seeing the blessings it was creating for my family,

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for our first employees, and for our customers.

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I don't remember when it happened,

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but things started to change.

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Pride created a shortcut to what I wanted,

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and it didn't involve actually putting in the hard work

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that I used to.

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Instead, I was just attracted to situations

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where I could get the feedback that I needed, the validation.

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It all culminated for me in 2012 when we had a company retreat.

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We brought everybody in from all over the country.

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I stood there on stage that day in front of hundreds of people

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and delivered a plan.

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There really wasn't anything wrong with the plan,

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except that I hadn't done the work

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to make the plan successful.

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Pride had hollowed out the hard work that I used to put in,

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and instead I was enjoying the feedback

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I was getting about the plan.

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Within a month, it became clear

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that I was going to lose everything.

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I remember dropping to my knees in my office

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and just crying out to God

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and I felt like I heard His voice again.

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But that day, hearing God's voice again,

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I knew there was a way forward. I knew I could rebuild.

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Pride wasn't an illness I could just recover from

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and be done with forever.

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Pride is always there lurking in the background.

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The only way I found to consistently break

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the false identity pride tries to create

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is by turning to humility.

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The changes in my life, my marriage,

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and my business are unbelievable.

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I'm really glad God gave me what I thought I wanted

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so I could learn what I really needed.

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- So I've been doing these experiments.

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I've been doing experiments because I know

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I have an issue with pride.

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And I've been doing these experiments as a way

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to understand the ways that pride is playing out,

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where is that toxin showing up in my life,

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and also to walk in more freedom.

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One of the experiments is called Look at That.

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And it's just this recognition that what pride wants to do

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is get me to soak in all the glory and admiration possible.

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Pride is me wanting to be praised, wanting to be affirmed,

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wanting to always be the hero, to fight for the accolades.

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And so here is what it's looked like to lean into that

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in the way of a challenge.

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It's been to defer to other people,

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to find places to give praise to others.

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One example that came up in the last couple of weeks for me

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was there was an event that the organization

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that I lead, Undivided, was doing, and it was a great event.

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We did it on Martin Luther King Day and it was powerful.

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A lot of people loved it.

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They were like, "Man, this is great."

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You know, at an event like that where you're the leader,

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you're the person who's kind of doing some of the key speaking.

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So people are like, "Man, it was powerful

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to hear what you had to say."

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And I had to make a very conscious choice to say,

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"Hey, listen, I think that event was amazing.

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And what you need to know is all of what you heard from me

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and all the other speakers was orchestrated by my friend,

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my friend, who is leading in that area of our organization.

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And she did an incredible job."

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And so it was an opportunity for me to practice humility

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by saying, "You know what? Yes.

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There's a level of praise and accolades coming my way,

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but really that needs to be refocused over here

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because her leadership is what made that possible."

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Another practice is, or another challenge you might say,

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is saying these words: It's my fault.

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Say it with me: It's my fault.

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I know it's hard for some of you to say that.

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Come on, you can say it. It's my fault.

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Because what pride wants us to do is to judge

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everybody else's imperfections and to almost ignore

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and be blinded to our own.

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And so one of the places where I've been leaning into this

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is just finding ways to say I'm sorry when I'm wrong

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and being proactive about that.

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I hate saying I'm sorry.

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Am I the only one? I hate saying I'm sorry.

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I want to be right. I want to be the good guy.

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I want to be the person who did it right.

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But man, I make mistakes all the time.

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I offend people.

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I fail people.

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So here's one that came up as an experiment opportunity for me.

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It was with my kids.

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You ever have to say you're sorry to your kids?

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Yeah, I've had to do that a bunch of times.

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One that was it was it was the morning,

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we're getting ready for school. I was just flustered.

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My kids didn't have anything to do with the way my day started.

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And I was already flustered before I started

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to get them up and ready for school.

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So, of course, every little thing.

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"Get your boots on, shoes on. Why does this take so long?"

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I was just flustered

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and I was just basically taking out all of my kids.

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So I get them to school and as I'm kind of opening the door

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and getting them out, my oldest son looks at me and he says,

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"Dad, Dad, Dad, just take a deep breath."

00:20:03

I stopped and he got out and went to school.

00:20:07

And I went to work, which I got to on time,

00:20:09

all that flustering and blustering

00:20:11

didn't mean I was late.

00:20:12

And the first thing I did was I sat down

00:20:14

and I wrote my son an email and I said, "Hey.

00:20:17

I took that deep breath you asked me to take,

00:20:20

and you were right and I was wrong."

00:20:23

I had to tell him in that moment, in that morning

00:20:25

you were more mature than me.

00:20:27

You're the son, I'm the parent, but you were acting

00:20:29

much more parent-ly than I was in that moment.

00:20:32

I was wrong."

00:20:33

It was an opportunity to practice humility.

00:20:36

You know what? It bonded us relationally in a great way.

00:20:39

Then here's another experiment I've been doing is this one,

00:20:42

I've been saying these three words: I need help.

00:20:47

I need help, because what pride wants us to do

00:20:52

is to not ask questions.

00:20:53

I think this is actually

00:20:54

the most insidious thing pride will do.

00:20:55

Pride will keep you isolated from the help you need.

00:20:59

It will keep you from asking for it in the places

00:21:02

where you could have incredible growth and incredible freedom.

00:21:05

It assumes that you're an independent expert

00:21:07

on everything.

00:21:08

And none of us, none of us are without places

00:21:12

in our lives where we need help.

00:21:13

And a lot of us know we've got places in our life

00:21:15

we need a lot of help.

00:21:16

So you know what my practice, my experiment has been?

00:21:20

I've been seeing a therapist. I've been going to therapy.

00:21:23

And it's an opportunity for me to talk about life

00:21:26

with someone who can help.

00:21:28

I've got a lot of new things happening in my life,

00:21:30

a lot of change.

00:21:31

I've been struggling with a lot of insecurity

00:21:33

and lack of confidence, and I've found a place

00:21:36

with this therapist to process that,

00:21:38

to talk through that, to get the help that I need.

00:21:42

And so I'm telling you,

00:21:43

it's been changing my life to do that.

00:21:45

So, I want to give you a prescription

00:21:49

because let's be honest,

00:21:50

let's be honest now, when you go to the doctor

00:21:53

and you have a disease, you have a sickness,

00:21:55

you don't want the doctor at the end of the medical visit

00:21:57

to just say, "Hey, you know what,

00:21:58

I don't have anything to give you,

00:22:00

but I want to encourage you to keep on going."

00:22:02

No, you want something, right? "Give me a prescription."

00:22:04

Hey, I want to give you a prescription.

00:22:06

If you recognize that pride and the toxicity of pride

00:22:10

is playing out in your life, I want to challenge you

00:22:13

to do one or maybe all three of the experiments

00:22:16

that I've been doing.

00:22:17

So that's the prescription: practice humility.

00:22:21

But you can't do that on your own, you can't.

00:22:24

And the Bible doesn't expect you to.

00:22:27

The writer of Philippians earlier,

00:22:29

before all those verses where we get the,

00:22:31

hey, look at the example of Jesus and do these things,

00:22:33

he actually gives us the motivation for this,

00:22:36

the power with which we can practice humility.

00:22:39

He says this in Philippians 2:1

00:22:52

You know what he's saying there?

00:22:53

He's saying when you remember how much Jesus loves you,

00:22:57

it helps you love others, it helps you defer to others.

00:23:01

When you take comfort from the love of Jesus,

00:23:04

you won't seek comfort

00:23:05

in needing the esteem of other people.

00:23:07

That's what he's saying.

00:23:08

This is how we live out the practice of humility.

00:23:11

And so I just want to encourage you to take the prescription,

00:23:16

because toxicity from pride will kill.

00:23:19

It will kill all kinds of things in your life,

00:23:21

but there is so much life and so much joy

00:23:25

on the other side of pride.

00:23:27

Let's agree, let's agree to practice this together so we can

00:23:31

have more of the freedom that God wants for us in this area.

00:23:33

Let me pray for you.

00:23:35

God, I do ask that for every person

00:23:37

who is engaging right now,

00:23:39

you would point out the places in our lives

00:23:42

where we have been affected by the toxic pride

00:23:46

that just affects humanity

00:23:48

and help us to lean into these practices of humility

00:23:52

and ultimately, Jesus, to lean in to you,

00:23:55

to experience a life of freedom on the other side of pride.

00:23:59

In Jesus's name, Amen.

00:24:03

You know, perhaps one of the biggest ways

00:24:05

we can practice humility is by posturing ourselves

00:24:09

and singing to God together. Let's do that now.

00:26:31

- So what we're going to do right now is we're simply

00:26:33

going to posture ourselves in a position of gratitude,

00:26:37

saying, "God, we want to thank You for what You're going to do

00:26:41

in all of these different aspects of our lives

00:26:43

and in our future and our purpose and our families

00:26:48

and our homes and our cities.

00:26:50

We're going to lift up gratitude

00:26:51

over all these different aspects of our life.

00:26:54

This is what we've seen people do all throughout history,

00:26:57

the people of God responding in humility

00:27:02

to a God who was gracious to us day after day after day.

00:27:07

So regardless of your situation right now,

00:27:10

I want to challenge you to respond in gratitude right now.

00:29:48

We'd love to sing a blessing over you.

00:29:51

Right now where you are we want to bless you.

00:29:55

Your purpose, your future, your family, your house.

00:30:00

So, would you put your hands like this

00:30:02

in a posture of receiving right now?

00:30:04

Put your hands like this.

00:30:07

And we're simply going to sing God's intentions over you.

00:30:12

You can agree simply by singing the name of Jesus with us.

00:30:16

So we'll sing over your future,

00:30:19

over your house, over your purpose, Jesus.

00:30:23

And if you don't have the courage to speak it,

00:30:26

simply whisper the name of Jesus with us right now.

00:33:35

- And that kind of surrender is the key to overcoming

00:33:39

the pride that wants to control you and wants to control me.

00:33:41

And look as your pastor for Crossroads Church online,

00:33:44

I want to be there for you on that journey.

00:33:46

If I can help you in any way, get you connected,

00:33:48

get you the care that you need, please reach out.

00:33:50

Please let me know. You can just e-mail me.

00:33:52

This is my email address right here. Not a junk mail box.

00:33:55

Doesn't go to a robot, it goes to me.

00:33:56

I'll do my best to reach out to you within 24 hours

00:33:59

and if you need help right now,

00:34:01

go to our website crossroads.net.

00:34:03

Click that orange chat icon.

00:34:05

Someone is waiting to talk to you right now.

00:34:08

Next week to keep going in the series called The Cure.

00:34:10

Brian will be talking about the key to overcoming the fear

00:34:14

that wants to control you and wants to control me.

00:34:16

We'll see you then.

	Crossroads Annual Report	0:20
	Chuck Mingo: Pride Is Toxic	5:15
	The Symptoms Of Pride	7:21
	Nick's Story	15:10
	How To Overcome Pride	17:10
	Worship: I Lift Up My Thanks	24:15
	Worship: Tremble	28:54
	Worship: Step By Step	32:01

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