-
00:00:02
- Well, hey,
welcome to Crossroads.
-
00:00:03
We are a church for people who
might have given up on church
-
00:00:06
but haven't given up on God.
-
00:00:08
And on weeks like this
we're also the church
-
00:00:10
for people who
like vintage Jeeps.
-
00:00:11
It's actually going to be
-
00:00:12
a part of our Father's
Day raffle later.
-
00:00:14
No, I'm just kidding.
-
00:00:15
Our senior pastor
is going to talk about
-
00:00:16
why this is here
in a little bit,
-
00:00:18
but I want to introduce myself.
My name is Andy Reider.
-
00:00:20
- And I'm Arturo,
and I love that church
-
00:00:22
can sometimes be two
guys talking to a screen
-
00:00:25
to a community that's
found all over the world.
-
00:00:27
- That's right.
- It's weird and it's beautiful,
-
00:00:29
and it's probably
more comfortable
-
00:00:31
than sitting in a church pew,
right?
-
00:00:32
- I think so,
but you know what is
-
00:00:34
the most comfortable thing?
-
00:00:35
It's the Crocs and socks.
Love it.
-
00:00:39
That is dad certified.
-
00:00:41
- Andy, they scream:
I do my own yardwork.
-
00:00:43
- Do you do your own yard?
- Yes.
-
00:00:45
- Hey, it is Father's Day
and we're so glad you're here.
-
00:00:48
Whether you're a dad or
whether you're just somebody
-
00:00:50
with incredibly strong
convictions about
-
00:00:51
the exact right
way to start a grill,
-
00:00:53
we're so glad you're here.
-
00:00:55
- Yeah, Feliz del padre a todos.
-
00:00:57
And this message
really is for everyone,
-
00:00:59
regardless of what
your relationship
-
00:01:00
with your earthly
father looks like,
-
00:01:02
just know that there
is a Heavenly Father
-
00:01:04
that is for you and loves you.
-
00:01:06
- Yeah, that's the whole
reason our church exists,
-
00:01:08
and we're going to
spend time right now
-
00:01:10
to connect with our
Heavenly Father,
-
00:01:11
actually doing something
that followers of Jesus
-
00:01:13
have done for thousands
and thousands of years,
-
00:01:15
forever, which is using
songs to connect with God.
-
00:01:18
And that's what we're
going to do right now.
-
00:01:19
- So grab your cafecito.
Let's go.
-
00:01:21
- Let's go.
-
00:05:59
- Come on. We sing to
the one who has all power.
-
00:06:02
We sing His name.
-
00:12:08
- We sing this prayer.
-
00:15:20
- God,
it's not -- it's not lost on me
-
00:15:22
that those are
heavy words to sing,
-
00:15:27
that I would remind
myself to lay all that I desire
-
00:15:32
and all that I want down in
exchange for what You want.
-
00:15:39
It's a heavy thing to say.
-
00:15:42
So, God, what my prayer
is that You would help me
-
00:15:45
to mean those words,
that You'd start to show me
-
00:15:49
over time areas that
I haven't laid down,
-
00:15:54
areas in my life that I
haven't handed over to You.
-
00:15:58
God, would you show me?
Would you show me?
-
00:16:03
Would you show us so
that we can look in the mirror
-
00:16:07
and hopefully one day
not see our own reflection,
-
00:16:12
but see the reflection of Jesus.
-
00:16:15
God, you're so good.
Help us to mean those words.
-
00:16:21
It's in Jesus's name I pray.
Amen. Amen.
-
00:16:26
Y'all know I love when we
sing in this room together.
-
00:16:29
Hey, those words might
have been hard for you to sing.
-
00:16:32
If you're like, "Ah, I don't
know that I'm quite there,"
-
00:16:36
I want you to know
that that's okay.
-
00:16:38
We sing tough things,
and sometimes
-
00:16:41
it's getting
ourselves to a place,
-
00:16:43
and sometimes
we're not all there,
-
00:16:45
sometimes we're learning,
-
00:16:46
and this is a safe
place for that.
-
00:16:48
So I just want you to know that.
-
00:16:49
If you put in a
little bit of a burden,
-
00:16:51
maybe on yourself,
because you don't mean
-
00:16:54
those words as much
as you would want to,
-
00:16:57
or as much as you might
perceive us to up here, don't.
-
00:17:02
Don't do it, because we're
all figuring it out every day.
-
00:17:06
And Jesus loves that.
He loves it. Yeah.
-
00:17:10
Hey, why don't you find
somebody next to you,
-
00:17:12
give 'em a high five.
Tell 'em your name.
-
00:17:15
We're all one big family here.
-
00:17:16
You can have a seat.
-
00:17:21
Guys, thanks so much
for being here with us.
-
00:17:23
We're so glad to have you.
-
00:17:24
Hey, we're talking
about fathers today
-
00:17:26
and the importance of fathers.
-
00:17:28
And before we get into that,
though,
-
00:17:30
let's get a 10X update from
our Senior Pastor Brian Tome.
-
00:17:36
- Hey, my name is Brian,
if we haven't met yet.
-
00:17:38
I want to give a
bit of an update
-
00:17:40
before I launch into my talk.
-
00:17:42
People are often asking, "Hey,
what's going on with this?
-
00:17:45
What's going on with that?"
-
00:17:46
I want to give you some
numbers and some info,
-
00:17:48
because I think you'll find this
very, very encouraging today.
-
00:17:51
A number of months ago, we ended
-
00:17:53
the discernment part of
the journey that we called
-
00:17:56
The Push for 10X,
where we were pushing
-
00:17:58
each other spiritually,
pushing each other financially,
-
00:18:01
and looking to 10X
the size of Crossroads,
-
00:18:05
looking to 10X the impact
and the depth of Crossroads,
-
00:18:08
looking at 10X the the
way the Kingdom of God
-
00:18:11
manifests itself and the
regions in which we are.
-
00:18:14
And I thought you
might want a little update
-
00:18:16
that's encouraging. Would
you like some encouragement?
-
00:18:18
Would you like that?
Yeah, yeah, I hope you do.
-
00:18:20
So first of all,
for the number geeks,
-
00:18:22
because we don't
share these very often.
-
00:18:23
Let's go through
some numbers here.
-
00:18:25
We had total commitments
above and beyond
-
00:18:29
what we regularly
give for three years,
-
00:18:31
those total commitments
came out to be $210,675,562.
-
00:18:38
Good job. [applause]
-
00:18:40
That was committed
by 8586 people.
-
00:18:46
1461 were brand new givers,
-
00:18:49
never gave anything
to Crossroads before.
-
00:18:51
That's really neat.
Thank you. Well done.
-
00:18:54
To date,
commitment is one thing. Fine.
-
00:18:56
Commit whatever, but like
what actually is happening?
-
00:18:59
How much is actually coming in?
-
00:19:00
We have right now
$43.4 million has come in,
-
00:19:04
which is 21% of that total,
-
00:19:07
above and beyond regular giving.
-
00:19:09
That's great.
It's all good news.
-
00:19:10
It's all good news today.
-
00:19:12
There are -- this
basically puts us,
-
00:19:15
if we look at similar
things we've done like this
-
00:19:17
over the last 30 years,
we would have expected
-
00:19:21
to be not doing as well.
-
00:19:23
We're actually $9
million ahead of pace.
-
00:19:26
Every way we look
at this is good news.
-
00:19:28
We've had of those givers, 8586,
-
00:19:32
we've had 6707 givers
who've given to the 10X so far,
-
00:19:38
including 708 of you who
didn't make commitments
-
00:19:42
but you gave, or are giving.
-
00:19:44
That's cool.
That's great. Thank you.
-
00:19:47
So there's obviously,
I don't know what the math is
-
00:19:49
right there, 8586 minus 6707.
-
00:19:54
One of you people who
wear pencil protectors,
-
00:19:56
pocket protectors
will let me know.
-
00:19:57
Whatever that difference is,
-
00:19:58
that's the number of
people who have not started.
-
00:20:01
They committed,
but they haven't started yet.
-
00:20:03
That's not good news.
-
00:20:05
We all need to
finish what we start.
-
00:20:06
And a good place
to start is just start.
-
00:20:08
But having said that,
that's actually 40% better
-
00:20:13
than historical data
would cause us to expect.
-
00:20:16
So everything around is really,
really good stuff.
-
00:20:18
Now, what have we
done with this money?
-
00:20:20
That's just the dollars.
What's happened?
-
00:20:22
Well, a few things.
-
00:20:23
One, we've finished Dayton,
our next generation facility.
-
00:20:27
We finished that and
Dayton is screaming
-
00:20:30
in three short months
they've tripled in attendance.
-
00:20:35
Tripled. [cheers]
-
00:20:39
It's just really weird,
like, Kevin Costner
-
00:20:41
apparently was right,
at least in Dayton,
-
00:20:43
build it and they will come.
Crazy.
-
00:20:45
We have -- Actually,
that wasn't Kevin Costner.
-
00:20:48
That was, uh, Earl Jones.
Earl Jones.
-
00:20:53
James Earl Jones,
James Earl Jones. Got it. Yeah.
-
00:20:57
Columbus has moved
out of their temporary,
-
00:21:00
very,
very small rental facility.
-
00:21:02
We've gotten them property.
They're in that property.
-
00:21:05
They're meeting in one of
-
00:21:07
the outer outcropping
areas on that property.
-
00:21:09
And we're getting ready
as resources come in
-
00:21:12
to actually overhaul
that entire campus.
-
00:21:14
That's really great news.
-
00:21:19
Where I'm standing
right now is in Oakley.
-
00:21:21
We call this our
broadcast campus,
-
00:21:23
because this is
where we broadcast
-
00:21:25
the teaching to other places.
-
00:21:26
And I would love the idea of
going around to every campus,
-
00:21:29
whoever the teacher is
going to different campuses
-
00:21:31
and doing that,
but we can't do that
-
00:21:33
and we don't do that
because the amount of money
-
00:21:35
it takes to broadcast,
the cameras, the expenses,
-
00:21:39
it's just not good
stewardship to put them
-
00:21:41
in a bunch of
different campuses.
-
00:21:42
So this is the place where
that technology is loaded up.
-
00:21:45
And this is the place
where we started
-
00:21:46
with our new rollout of
different technology packages
-
00:21:49
to all of our sites.
-
00:21:50
Here we have started as a result
of The Push, the Wonderwall.
-
00:21:53
I'm standing on before
and in the Wonderwall.
-
00:21:56
Actually, if you're in
the lower level of Oakley,
-
00:21:58
it doesn't look
like any big deal,
-
00:22:00
but actually at sites and online
-
00:22:01
it looks much, much better.
-
00:22:03
It looks, it looks amazing.
-
00:22:04
And Wonderwall is about
at 50% capacity right now.
-
00:22:08
It's going to be twice as good.
We're still learning things.
-
00:22:11
There's some other things
that are being bolted on,
-
00:22:13
but those of us who
are encouraged seeing it,
-
00:22:15
we kind of like it, right?
-
00:22:16
The worship has
been pretty powerful.
-
00:22:17
The graphics,
squashing the scorpion,
-
00:22:20
the pickleball court,
a lot of --
-
00:22:22
A lot of fun stuff there.
-
00:22:23
By the end of summer, here's
where we get to another gear.
-
00:22:26
We as a church
aren't just into tech.
-
00:22:29
We're not into numbers.
-
00:22:30
We're into lives,
all types of lives.
-
00:22:33
That includes
the least of these.
-
00:22:35
Jesus says,
"You didn't visit Me in prison.
-
00:22:37
You didn't see Me
when I was hungry.
-
00:22:38
You didn't see Me
when I was naked."
-
00:22:40
And people said to Him,
-
00:22:41
"What are you talking
about we didn't see You?
-
00:22:43
What?
We never saw You in prison.
-
00:22:44
We never saw You naked.
We never saw You hungry."
-
00:22:47
And Jesus says, "Well,
I identify with those folks.
-
00:22:50
So you didn't do it
for the least of these,
-
00:22:51
you didn't do it for Me.
You never visited Me in prison."
-
00:22:54
So we take people in
prison pretty seriously.
-
00:22:55
We want to bless them.
-
00:22:57
And as part of the
10X we want to be
-
00:22:59
in every single state
in the entire nation.
-
00:23:02
As a result of your giving
and finding the right partner
-
00:23:05
we're now in 36 states,
36 states. [cheers and applause]
-
00:23:13
We have some tech that
we're still now writing software
-
00:23:17
to be on the iPads or to be
featured front and centered
-
00:23:20
in all of those prisons.
36. It's up behind me.
-
00:23:24
165,000 tablets, and hopefully
it's going to grow from there.
-
00:23:28
We're not in all
of those right now,
-
00:23:29
but we now have a
path and we're making it,
-
00:23:31
and it's happening
because of your giving.
-
00:23:33
How does it feel to be used
by God with what you give?
-
00:23:35
Huh? Feels pretty good.
-
00:23:38
We sent last month
$150,000 to Anjali,
-
00:23:43
who we have a
partnership with in Nepal,
-
00:23:46
who has that school.
That's good news.
-
00:23:48
And the 210,000 square
foot recovery campus
-
00:23:52
for girls who've been in
the rape for profit industry,
-
00:23:55
who we've rescued,
we like to use that phrase.
-
00:23:57
It's a little jarring,
just so we're all jarred
-
00:23:59
of what the stakes are.
-
00:24:01
And just to say human
trafficking, which is awful,
-
00:24:03
just use the
phrase for what it is,
-
00:24:05
the rape for profit industry.
-
00:24:07
In the center we want to
rehab people in that campus.
-
00:24:11
We were hoping
to get going this fall,
-
00:24:13
but we can't go this fall
because, what do you know?
-
00:24:16
They have government and
bureaucracy over there too,
-
00:24:18
so it's going to
be waited a bit.
-
00:24:19
But our giving is facilitating
the breaking of that ground
-
00:24:23
when it happens somewhat soon.
-
00:24:24
And we've also started
base camp improvements
-
00:24:27
for Man Camp, Woman Camp,
Couples Camp,
-
00:24:29
The Revival, all that stuff.
-
00:24:31
Now all this means great job,
good and faithful servants.
-
00:24:34
Really good.
How's it feel to be used by God?
-
00:24:36
It feels pretty darn good,
doesn't it?
-
00:24:38
I love it, it's good.
-
00:24:40
There's no ask in here.
Here's the --
-
00:24:42
It's not an ask.
It's just an awareness.
-
00:24:44
For those of us who
have made commitments
-
00:24:47
and are fulfilling them.
Thank you.
-
00:24:50
You didn't commit to getting
it done in this time period
-
00:24:53
or that period you
just committed to
-
00:24:55
over a three year period.
-
00:24:56
Awareness is this,
if you can, the sooner
-
00:25:00
you can start and fulfill,
the better for us
-
00:25:04
because as cash comes in,
we can start doing things
-
00:25:09
that we have committed to do.
-
00:25:11
As cash comes in,
we can start doing anything
-
00:25:13
from 1824, expanding our
student ministry sections,
-
00:25:16
getting the tech we need
and want at other sites,
-
00:25:19
putting the 80 foot dam
in at Base Camp for a lake
-
00:25:22
for baptisms and ambiance,
and on and on and on and on.
-
00:25:25
So if you can start or
accelerate your pace,
-
00:25:30
if even fulfill early if God
has done something, great.
-
00:25:33
That will help us
get things done.
-
00:25:35
Because as money comes in,
-
00:25:36
that's how stuff
is getting done.
-
00:25:38
Cool? Cool? All right.
Good. Let's pray.
-
00:25:40
And then I'm about ready
to start my talk proper.
-
00:25:44
So God, I am honored
and humbled to be a part of
-
00:25:48
a community that can celebrate
things that we just heard about.
-
00:25:53
I am humbled that I
get to be a part of it,
-
00:25:57
and humbled that I get to
talk as well about things today
-
00:26:01
that are of a transcendent
and primal nature.
-
00:26:04
We thank You for
being good to us,
-
00:26:06
and I'm praying that
You also would help me
-
00:26:09
to be true to Your
reputation and character,
-
00:26:12
and to communicate well who
You are as a great Heavenly Dad.
-
00:26:17
I pray these things according to
-
00:26:19
the character and
identity of Jesus. Amen.
-
00:26:27
- Ring Announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen.
-
00:26:31
- The fight isn't won
out there in the spotlight.
-
00:26:36
It's in the shadows.
-
00:26:41
- Ring Announcer:
The fight of our lives.
-
00:26:45
- When the time comes,
you don't rise to the moment,
-
00:26:50
you fall to the level
of your training.
-
00:26:53
- Ring Announcer: Six rounds,
each different opponent.
-
00:26:58
- To defeat your opponent you
need to know your opponent.
-
00:27:03
Your opponent wants you to think
-
00:27:05
you can't finish the job,
you can't keep going.
-
00:27:14
RING ANNOUNCER: Round three:
Stand firm against lies.
-
00:27:20
Let the fight begin.
-
00:27:33
- We're in week three of
a series of Standing Firm.
-
00:27:36
Standing firm because the
world is blowing resistance
-
00:27:40
against us all the time.
-
00:27:41
Standing firm because if
you want to spiritually grow,
-
00:27:44
if you want to connect with God,
it's a fight.
-
00:27:47
It's a difficult,
difficult endeavor that,
-
00:27:49
quite frankly,
many people aren't up for.
-
00:27:52
And as soon as resistance come,
they drop away
-
00:27:55
because they thought
life and God was all about
-
00:27:58
rose gardens and beautiful
thoughts and feelings
-
00:28:01
and nice grand visions.
-
00:28:02
And certainly that stuff can
happen and does happen.
-
00:28:06
But the heart of walking
with God is a fight
-
00:28:08
that you've got to stand firm
-
00:28:10
in whatever God
is asking you to do.
-
00:28:13
I am up here with a vehicle
and today, by the way,
-
00:28:17
Happy Father's Day, everybody.
-
00:28:19
I'm talking about fathers today.
Good to be with you.
-
00:28:21
Although,
as you'll see in a moment,
-
00:28:23
if you're a mother, pretty
much everything applies to you,
-
00:28:26
whether you have
kids or not have kids.
-
00:28:27
There's something
here for everybody.
-
00:28:29
But on Father's Day, which
is a fight to be a good dad,
-
00:28:32
the last time I did
a Father's Day talk
-
00:28:34
a couple of years ago,
father's talk was
-
00:28:36
I had this on stage, but it
was a stripped down version.
-
00:28:41
Because I had this identical
Jeep, same year, 1978,
-
00:28:45
same engine, 304,
when I was in college.
-
00:28:48
But I had to sell it because
I couldn't afford the gas.
-
00:28:50
And as I was leaving
the parking lot, I said,
-
00:28:53
"Someday I'm going to
have that exact same vehicle,
-
00:28:55
someday I am."
-
00:28:57
Well, this is the day.
-
00:28:58
And so as I bought it,
I've been making this.
-
00:29:01
It looks exactly,
except way nicer,
-
00:29:03
because it's
basically brand new,
-
00:29:05
exactly like the one
that I had in college.
-
00:29:07
I'm its daddy.
I'm this thing's daddy.
-
00:29:10
Every, every bolt has
had my fingers on it.
-
00:29:14
Every gear has
had my palms in it
-
00:29:18
mashing grease
around the bearings.
-
00:29:20
Every square inch
of paint I've painted.
-
00:29:23
Every, every piston, every,
every, every everything.
-
00:29:27
I haven't paid anybody
to do anything on this.
-
00:29:31
I'm its daddy. I'm its daddy.
-
00:29:35
The interesting
thing about this,
-
00:29:37
which it was kind of
therapeutic for me because
-
00:29:40
when I would get away
from doing whatever project
-
00:29:43
I was doing on the Jeep,
I could look at something
-
00:29:45
and say, "Oh, I did that."
-
00:29:46
So much of the time in my life,
-
00:29:48
there's nothing for me to
look back on and see I did that.
-
00:29:50
There's a calendar,
there's a meeting schedule,
-
00:29:52
there's a Word doc or excuse me,
a Google doc
-
00:29:55
or something like that,
but there's nothing,
-
00:29:56
nothing to like, "Oh."
So it was really meaningful.
-
00:29:59
And the other thing that's
really interesting about it
-
00:30:01
is no matter what happened
in bringing this thing to being,
-
00:30:05
I knew I could
solve any problem.
-
00:30:08
All I needed was
a little more time
-
00:30:09
and a little more money,
another part.
-
00:30:12
And I wish I was
that easy to fix.
-
00:30:15
I wish God could
fix me that easily,
-
00:30:18
but I'm a living,
breathing thing.
-
00:30:19
I wish ministry was that easy.
-
00:30:20
I think -- I wish helping
all of us would be that easy,
-
00:30:24
but we're people.
-
00:30:25
I wish it was just a program
and a little more of this,
-
00:30:28
but it's not.
-
00:30:29
Now, I'm going to get
back to this in a moment,
-
00:30:31
but let me make sure
we understand how rare
-
00:30:34
what I'm talking about today is.
-
00:30:36
I'm talking about fathers,
-
00:30:37
and people aren't
talking about fathers.
-
00:30:40
In fact, we have a
bitterness towards our father,
-
00:30:43
many of us,
which I'll explain in a moment.
-
00:30:45
If you look on the
influencer sphere,
-
00:30:48
like,
who's influencing other men,
-
00:30:51
there's all sorts
of influencers.
-
00:30:53
There's workout influencers,
-
00:30:55
there's health influencers,
-
00:30:58
there's hobby influencers,
-
00:31:01
like the hunting
hobby influencer,
-
00:31:03
there's financial influencers,
-
00:31:06
there's fabrication influencers,
-
00:31:08
there's social influencers of
how a man should live his life.
-
00:31:14
And some of these people are
really, really horrible people.
-
00:31:19
One of them specifically is just
-
00:31:21
a horrible, horrible individual.
-
00:31:24
And yet these people and
influencers have millions,
-
00:31:29
millions of people who
look to them for inspiration
-
00:31:33
and how to get to a
new place in life. Millions.
-
00:31:37
You know what
there's not any of?
-
00:31:38
There's no father influencers.
-
00:31:41
There's no father influencers.
Why is that?
-
00:31:45
You know why? It's always
follow the money trail, right?
-
00:31:49
And the reason is
because they can't figure out
-
00:31:52
a way how to monetize
a father influence.
-
00:31:54
You can monetize other things
-
00:31:55
because guys want to be hunters.
-
00:31:57
They want to be manly men.
They want to be this.
-
00:31:59
So I'll follow you and you
can get advertising off me.
-
00:32:01
But no one thinks that men
are interested in being dads
-
00:32:06
and so why blow out a channel
-
00:32:08
and start doing
something like that?
-
00:32:10
It's just,
it's just not out there.
-
00:32:12
I want us to have kind
of three understandings
-
00:32:15
today as we get through this.
-
00:32:17
First is this: there is
a father framework.
-
00:32:19
As you look throughout
the the whole Bible,
-
00:32:22
through all of history and
in your own primal DNA,
-
00:32:27
there is a father framework.
-
00:32:29
The Bible never refers
to God as a mother.
-
00:32:32
The Bible only refers
to God as a father.
-
00:32:35
Now, the Bible does
make it very clear that God
-
00:32:38
does have some stereotypically
feminine aspects.
-
00:32:42
He has all the beautiful
things about femininity,
-
00:32:44
all the beautiful
things about mothering,
-
00:32:46
God has all those.
He is all those.
-
00:32:49
But the Bible always
calls Him a Father.
-
00:32:52
In fact, all the metaphors
there are for God,
-
00:32:55
there's a lot of
metaphors for God,
-
00:32:57
the most common
one by far is Father.
-
00:32:59
It's used 165 times
in the Old Testament
-
00:33:04
and in the New Testament.
-
00:33:05
I'll give you a couple
of examples from each.
-
00:33:07
The book of Matthew 6:9,
-
00:33:09
Jesus, when trying to get
us to understand prayer.
-
00:33:12
I know it is the Lord's Prayer.
-
00:33:14
You may know it
as the Lord's Prayer.
-
00:33:15
If you have Catholic background,
-
00:33:17
you may know it
as the Our Father.
-
00:33:18
You know the
very beginning of it.
-
00:33:20
It says,
Our Father who is in heaven,
-
00:33:23
or our Father who art in heaven.
-
00:33:24
Our Father who's in heaven,
our Heavenly Father.
-
00:33:29
We can understand
something about God if we
-
00:33:32
understand something about
how a fathers should operate.
-
00:33:35
Isaiah 64:8, Old Testament:
-
00:33:37
But now, O Lord,
You are our Father:
-
00:33:41
we are the clay,
You are the potter;
-
00:33:43
we are the work of Your hand.
-
00:33:45
Like I said,
I'm this thing's daddy.
-
00:33:47
It's the work of my hand,
and that's what fathers do.
-
00:33:50
They take a life and
they mold it, they shape it.
-
00:33:54
Which is part of why many
of us don't like Father's Day
-
00:33:58
and part of us,
part of us are doing
-
00:34:00
all we can to hang in
there emotionally in here.
-
00:34:03
Because you don't
have a good earthly father
-
00:34:06
that reflects at all on
what a Heavenly Father is.
-
00:34:10
It's very difficult.
-
00:34:11
They didn't mold you, they
may have put their hands on you,
-
00:34:15
but they never
beautifully molded you
-
00:34:18
like Isaiah talks about.
-
00:34:20
I really wanted for
this talk to have, like,
-
00:34:23
what would be the like?
-
00:34:24
I just want to hang out in
like one chunk of scripture
-
00:34:27
and just do that.
What the best chunk of scripture
-
00:34:30
that really describes
what a dad does,
-
00:34:33
defines what a dad does?
-
00:34:35
And as I went through
my mind all the times
-
00:34:37
I've read through the
Bible and all the times
-
00:34:39
I've studied man stuff,
I realized there is no --
-
00:34:42
There's there's no, like,
chapter in the Bible
-
00:34:44
or section in the Bible that
says here's what a dad does.
-
00:34:47
None. There's no checklist.
-
00:34:49
For mothers there's maybe one,
-
00:34:50
maybe Proverbs 31 for mothers,
for women,
-
00:34:53
but none for dads.
-
00:34:55
Instead,
what the scriptures do is
-
00:34:58
they regularly keep tying back,
like,
-
00:35:00
there's a Heavenly Father,
and that should be like you.
-
00:35:03
Your Heavenly Father
does these things,
-
00:35:05
so you should do these things.
-
00:35:08
Here's some examples
that are just rich.
-
00:35:11
They're rich to understanding
our Heavenly Father.
-
00:35:13
All of us have a Heavenly Father
-
00:35:15
and rich to helping us
understand be a dad.
-
00:35:18
In the book of Matthew,
Jesus puts it this way:
-
00:35:21
Which of you,
if his son asks for bread,
-
00:35:25
will give him a stone?
-
00:35:27
Or if he asks for a fish,
will give him a serpent?
-
00:35:31
If you then, who are evil,
-
00:35:33
know how to give good
gifts to your children,
-
00:35:36
how much more will
your father in heaven
-
00:35:39
give good gifts to
those who ask him!
-
00:35:43
It's a pretty interesting verse,
really.
-
00:35:45
It says that Jesus
is saying that
-
00:35:49
our Heavenly Father
likes to bless you.
-
00:35:52
Meaning, there's some
things you're not going to get
-
00:35:55
until you ask Him.
-
00:35:57
It's kind of interesting
to say that, right?
-
00:35:58
I mean,
it says something to my kids.
-
00:36:00
I mean, I've got, by the way,
I've got three kids,
-
00:36:02
I got six grandkids.
-
00:36:04
I don't advertise that too
much because you guys
-
00:36:06
are going to start
thinking I'm really old.
-
00:36:08
Three kids, six grandkids,
and they're all wonderful.
-
00:36:13
They're all great.
-
00:36:14
And my kids,
at some point you just stop
-
00:36:16
trying to figure
out what they want.
-
00:36:18
You just ask them,
"What do you want?
-
00:36:19
What do you want
for your birthday?"
-
00:36:20
Because you don't know.
-
00:36:21
Now they're into the weeds
on something in their life,
-
00:36:24
you can't keep up with it all.
-
00:36:25
And they're a little,
like, six years old,
-
00:36:27
they don't need to ask.
-
00:36:28
You go,
"I'm going to get you a toy gun,
-
00:36:29
because you're
going to love that.
-
00:36:31
I'm going to get you this.
I'm going to get --"
-
00:36:33
Some of you,
"You got them a toy gun?"
-
00:36:35
My son, yes.
He was making guns out of toast
-
00:36:38
by the time he
was five years old.
-
00:36:39
And I was like, "It just
didn't matter." But you ask.
-
00:36:44
You ever consider
maybe there's some things
-
00:36:45
God has for you,
but you have to ask.
-
00:36:47
This is what Jesus says.
-
00:36:49
And He's saying,
we know God is good,
-
00:36:51
but He says even
the worst father,
-
00:36:53
when his son asks
for a piece of bread,
-
00:36:54
I'm not going to
give him a stone.
-
00:36:56
No one's going to give
him a poisonous snake.
-
00:36:58
We've had some
parents that have done
-
00:37:00
some horrible things for us,
-
00:37:01
but none of them have
done that sort of stuff.
-
00:37:04
Jesus is reminding us
this is what a father is.
-
00:37:08
He's generous.
A father wants to bless.
-
00:37:11
A father is responsive,
-
00:37:13
not just the good
ones here on earth,
-
00:37:15
but we're that way because
-
00:37:16
that's
how our Heavenly Father is.
-
00:37:18
Now, on the other
side of the perspective,
-
00:37:21
because all of us are like,
"Hey, hey, hey, hey,
-
00:37:23
yeah, yeah, yeah,
a father whose generous, loving.
-
00:37:25
Give me some more of that.
Yum yum."
-
00:37:27
On the other side,
the other perspective
-
00:37:29
is a dad who disciplines.
-
00:37:30
Hebrews chapter 12,
my son, do not regard --
-
00:37:35
By the way, when I say,
I'm going to say
-
00:37:37
all these verses have sons.
-
00:37:38
You know why it
has sons instead of
-
00:37:40
my son and daughter or my child?
-
00:37:43
You know why the Bible
says that in the first century?
-
00:37:45
It says that because in
the first century culture
-
00:37:48
where it was only the
sons got an inheritance,
-
00:37:54
only the sons did.
-
00:37:55
And the Bible goes
out of its way to say,
-
00:37:57
when you come to know Christ
-
00:37:59
and you're in the family of God,
whether male or female,
-
00:38:01
culturally speaking,
we're all sons
-
00:38:03
because we all get the
inheritance, male or female.
-
00:38:06
There's no gender in the eyes
of God, so it says in Galatians.
-
00:38:10
There are neither male
nor female, slave nor free,
-
00:38:14
Jew or Gentile,
were all one in Christ, all one.
-
00:38:17
So ladies, this is meant
to be very inclusive for you.
-
00:38:19
Let's keep going.
-
00:38:20
My son, do not regard lightly
the discipline of the Lord,
-
00:38:23
nor be weary when
reproved by Him.
-
00:38:26
For the Lord disciplines
the one He loves,
-
00:38:29
and chastises every
son whom he receives."
-
00:38:32
It is for discipline that
you have to endure.
-
00:38:36
God is treating you as sons.
-
00:38:37
For what son is there whom
his father does not discipline?
-
00:38:41
If you're left
without discipline,
-
00:38:43
in which all have participated,
-
00:38:45
then you are illegitimate
children and not sons.
-
00:38:49
Discipline of the Lord. Woo.
-
00:38:51
This is something we don't,
we don't like very much.
-
00:38:53
In fact, some of us are
having a problem with God
-
00:38:56
right now because we
think He's ignoring us.
-
00:38:58
We think he's making life
too hard on us. We think --
-
00:39:01
And we're getting
upset with Him.
-
00:39:03
You have to open your mind,
He might be disciplining you.
-
00:39:07
And you know who
gets disciplined?
-
00:39:08
People who get love.
-
00:39:11
You might get some
annoying kid on your street
-
00:39:13
who's not your kid,
some annoying kid,
-
00:39:15
you might vent at them,
-
00:39:16
but you're not going to
discipline them
-
00:39:18
because it's hard.
-
00:39:19
It's very, very difficult work.
It's hard work.
-
00:39:23
But this verse says
God disciplines His sons,
-
00:39:26
sons and daughters.
-
00:39:28
He loves us and He's
trying to develop us.
-
00:39:30
He's trying to mold us.
-
00:39:32
It's kind of fun to talk
about this a little bit
-
00:39:34
now that my kids
are out of my house
-
00:39:36
and people can't call kids
and youth services on me.
-
00:39:39
But people were aghast
at things I would do
-
00:39:44
as a dad with my
kids around because
-
00:39:46
it was completely
against the grain,
-
00:39:48
totally against the grain.
-
00:39:50
Like, I'm one of these guys.
-
00:39:52
Get ready for
people to walk out.
-
00:39:54
I'm one of those guys
who spanked my kids.
-
00:39:58
Now don't clap. Yeah,
all the spankers going like,
-
00:40:01
"I just like to hit things
like my hand. That's great."
-
00:40:06
I'm not going to give
a talk on spanking
-
00:40:08
because it's a long,
drawn out process.
-
00:40:10
Spanking is not venting.
-
00:40:12
I did it very rarely.
-
00:40:13
My girls had less than five
spankings in their entire life.
-
00:40:17
I was talking with Lib
after the last service.
-
00:40:19
I guessed it was five.
-
00:40:21
She said "No,
I think Leanna only had one,
-
00:40:23
only one her whole life."
Like, "Maybe."
-
00:40:28
Jake, my son,
had probably less than five.
-
00:40:31
I said less than
ten to be generous,
-
00:40:33
but it was probably
less than five.
-
00:40:35
Because there's a long
drawn out process to do that.
-
00:40:39
You're not venting,
you're not angry
-
00:40:40
and just like taking them out.
-
00:40:42
No. There's a level headed,
-
00:40:43
I'm going to take
you through a process
-
00:40:45
to bolt something into your mind
-
00:40:47
and form your character
so you never do it again.
-
00:40:50
And it's very difficult.
-
00:40:52
Example, my daughter, Leanna,
-
00:40:54
who's community
pastor at Eastside, she --
-
00:40:59
I know, I always know, whatever
she tells me is always true
-
00:41:01
because I know she doesn't lie.
-
00:41:02
You know how I
know she doesn't lie?
-
00:41:04
Because she got
spanked for it once,
-
00:41:05
and she never has since.
-
00:41:07
She was a little kid,
a little kid,
-
00:41:09
and we went to a pet
store for something,
-
00:41:10
get dog food or
something like that.
-
00:41:12
And she said, "Daddy,
can I pet the fish?"
-
00:41:14
I said, "No,
you cannot pet the fish.
-
00:41:17
Leave the fish alone."
-
00:41:18
So I went off trying to find
-
00:41:19
whatever the
cheapest dog food was.
-
00:41:21
And she came back, came
back about ten minutes later.
-
00:41:24
And there she is
in her winter coat,
-
00:41:27
and it was wet
up to her shoulder.
-
00:41:31
And I said,
"Did you pet the fish?"
-
00:41:33
She goes, "No, I didn't pet."
"Yes, you did.
-
00:41:37
You're getting a spanking
when we go home."
-
00:41:39
And she did, and she did.
-
00:41:40
And it was a process that
brought discipline to her.
-
00:41:42
And I think she would say,
I think all of my kids
-
00:41:45
would say I have great
relationship with my kids.
-
00:41:47
Phenomenal.
Three kids, six grandkids.
-
00:41:49
They all live within
12 minutes of me.
-
00:41:51
They all follow Christ.
They're all part of our church.
-
00:41:53
They're all generous.
They're all --
-
00:41:54
I'm deep friends with them.
I'll be friends with them.
-
00:41:57
We're going to hang out
all afternoon. It's wonderful.
-
00:41:59
And it's because, not
because I was some great guy.
-
00:42:02
It's because I tried to
do any learning I could
-
00:42:06
from how God has fathered me.
-
00:42:08
How can I father them?
-
00:42:16
I'm not talking today
about being a sire.
-
00:42:20
I'm not talking about
impregnating somebody.
-
00:42:23
I'm talking about taking
responsibility for a life.
-
00:42:27
Saying this life I will
hold and I will nurture
-
00:42:30
and I will develop
and I will discipline,
-
00:42:33
and I will bless,
and I will coach,
-
00:42:35
and I will prod, and I will hug,
-
00:42:38
and I will vision cast for,
and I will cheerlead,
-
00:42:41
and I'll do that
for all of life.
-
00:42:43
And by the way, you can do this
-
00:42:46
with somebody who
you haven't sired.
-
00:42:49
You can do this with somebody
-
00:42:50
who doesn't actually
share your own DNA.
-
00:42:53
There's a powerful
thing behind a dad.
-
00:42:57
It's the reason why some
of us have a hard time
-
00:42:59
seeing God as Father.
-
00:43:01
It's because of
the powerful abuse
-
00:43:03
and the horrible situation
we have with our earthly dad.
-
00:43:05
We just can't.
We can't make that connection.
-
00:43:07
So we just finds some
way to explain it away.
-
00:43:10
Now, let's not explain it away.
-
00:43:11
Let's just camp in here.
-
00:43:12
Let's just recognize,
like it or not,
-
00:43:15
there's a power to a dad.
A power.
-
00:43:20
Fortunately or actually
unfortunately, I would say,
-
00:43:23
generally speaking,
women still, mothers still do
-
00:43:28
more cooking for the children.
-
00:43:30
Generally speaking, mothers
still do more diaper changing.
-
00:43:33
Mothers still do more waking up
-
00:43:35
in the middle of
the night to feed.
-
00:43:36
Mothers still do more
teachers conference generally.
-
00:43:39
Mothers still generally
do more taxiing.
-
00:43:41
Mothers generally
expend themselves more
-
00:43:45
with hands on parenting
and hands on love.
-
00:43:48
And I can't tell you
how many mothers
-
00:43:51
over the last, many,
many years have said to me,
-
00:43:53
and despite all that,
their father says something
-
00:43:57
that I've said and it hits
them harder than when I say it.
-
00:44:01
And despite all that, they
cling on their father's words
-
00:44:05
and affirmation
more so than mine,
-
00:44:07
and they don't understand.
It's frustrating.
-
00:44:09
And none of us as
dads will understand it.
-
00:44:12
We don't like this either,
because our words
-
00:44:15
are more powerful
than we want them to be.
-
00:44:17
We're just saying something,
and then we've crushed somebody.
-
00:44:20
We've ticked somebody off.
-
00:44:21
And what's being happened
here is a spiritual truth
-
00:44:25
in the spiritual realm,
it's the power of a father.
-
00:44:30
And the words from God
the Father are like none other.
-
00:44:33
And there's a word,
if you're a dad,
-
00:44:35
you have to recognize you
have a power to your identity,
-
00:44:40
whether you deserve it or not,
to your words,
-
00:44:43
whether you embrace it or not.
-
00:44:46
People go to counseling
their whole lives
-
00:44:49
because what their
dad did and didn't do,
-
00:44:51
they don't do that because of
what their mom did or didn't do.
-
00:44:55
And I don't like it,
but I have to recognize it
-
00:44:59
and I have to live
according with it.
-
00:45:01
Second thing,
this is the father framework,
-
00:45:04
and the second thing
is that understand
-
00:45:06
we're also talking
about father figures.
-
00:45:09
You can be a father
-
00:45:10
even if you've never
impregnated somebody.
-
00:45:13
You can be a father
even if you've never
-
00:45:15
formally adopted
somebody as a child.
-
00:45:18
You can be a
father figure any time
-
00:45:20
you take responsibility
for life and you go,
-
00:45:21
"I'm going to be in that
person's life for a long time.
-
00:45:24
I'm going to be their
backstop for a long term."
-
00:45:26
The Old Testament hero, Esther.
-
00:45:28
Esther was a Jew, and they
were captured by the Persians.
-
00:45:33
And they basically
had a beauty contest.
-
00:45:35
She wins the beauty contest,
in a sense,
-
00:45:37
and she gets a
high ranking position
-
00:45:39
right close to the king.
-
00:45:41
As a Jew this is really,
really crazy,
-
00:45:42
but she's beautiful,
and God has her beauty
-
00:45:45
and and she uses it.
-
00:45:46
And in a key moment,
her father figure, Mordecai,
-
00:45:50
it's her father figure
who's coaching her
-
00:45:52
and has a relationship
with her for a long, long time.
-
00:45:55
Mordecai comes to her and says,
"Esther,
-
00:45:56
you got to say
something to the king.
-
00:45:58
Your people are going
to get slaughtered.
-
00:46:00
Our whole race,
he's going to wipe him out
-
00:46:01
because he's
getting bad counsel."
-
00:46:03
And he says this, "Who knows
if you haven't been risen up
-
00:46:07
for such a time
as this right now."
-
00:46:10
It's the words
of a father figure
-
00:46:12
that spring her into action,
-
00:46:14
and she puts her neck
on the line because
-
00:46:16
the king could have killed her
for asking a request like that.
-
00:46:19
But he doesn't, and it
comes from the father figure.
-
00:46:23
The Apostle Paul wrote
more of the New Testament
-
00:46:25
or penned more the New
Testament, under the inspiration
-
00:46:27
of the Holy Spirit than
any other single person.
-
00:46:31
The Apostle Paul
never had any kids,
-
00:46:33
at least none that we know of,
and yet he was a father.
-
00:46:36
He was a father figure.
-
00:46:38
He was a father
figure to Timothy.
-
00:46:40
There's a book in the
Bible named Timothy.
-
00:46:42
And he says this to Timothy:
-
00:46:43
To Timothy,
my true child in the faith.
-
00:46:48
He was also a
father figure to Titus.
-
00:46:51
And he says to Titus:
-
00:46:52
Titus,
my true child in a common faith.
-
00:46:56
He's nurturing them.
He's molding them.
-
00:46:59
He's taking care of them.
He's protecting them.
-
00:47:01
He's envisioning for them.
He's resourcing them.
-
00:47:05
These are some of the
things that a dad does.
-
00:47:08
Most powerful person in
my life is a father figure.
-
00:47:11
My dad is amazing.
I'm thankful for my dad.
-
00:47:13
I'm going to be calling
him this afternoon.
-
00:47:15
But there's a father
figure who's actually had
-
00:47:17
a massive,
massive impact on my life.
-
00:47:21
His name is Gil Hopkins.
-
00:47:23
Gil never had any kids,
-
00:47:25
never had
any kids, but he had children.
-
00:47:29
It was all the
people he fathered.
-
00:47:31
When I did his funeral,
there was guys
-
00:47:34
from 20-60 years old
who were there weeping
-
00:47:39
because they had lost a father.
It still gets me.
-
00:47:42
It still gets me just
talking about him at all.
-
00:47:44
He just had my back,
as only a father would.
-
00:47:48
There was a season of
time here at Crossroads
-
00:47:50
where people thought it was
their job to keep me humble.
-
00:47:54
They just assumed that if
we were doing really well,
-
00:47:56
then I was getting very,
very prideful.
-
00:47:57
And so they would
just always do the jabs
-
00:47:59
and some of them were really,
really sneaky
-
00:48:01
and would underhandedly
slander me behind my back
-
00:48:05
and try to pull things down.
-
00:48:06
I'm so glad those days are over.
-
00:48:08
But it was not a fun time.
-
00:48:10
I was in a meeting once
and some of those people
-
00:48:12
were in that meeting and Gil.
-
00:48:14
Gil was -- he was salty.
Just trigger warning.
-
00:48:17
We have two salty words today.
-
00:48:20
Gil was a -- he was a former
cop, former Chicago cop
-
00:48:25
in, like, this 50s and 60s
and all of that meant, right?
-
00:48:29
Taller guy, but he started
shrinking as time went on.
-
00:48:32
And he,
just very interesting guy.
-
00:48:34
He was in this meeting and
he said, "I know some of you,
-
00:48:38
I know some of you people,
you say that
-
00:48:40
I'm supportive of BT that I,
-
00:48:42
that I always have his back.
-
00:48:43
And you know what I say,
"You're damn right I do."
-
00:48:46
He got really loud,
"You're damn right I do."
-
00:48:48
And the room. I was like, hmm.
-
00:48:52
Good to have someone,
like, say that for you
-
00:48:54
as a father figure, it was
really, really meaningful.
-
00:49:00
Too few people have
a father and it hurts us.
-
00:49:03
I'll come back to
Gil in just a moment.
-
00:49:07
The greatest -- man,
let me I'll tell you this.
-
00:49:10
The greatest role you
will ever fulfill in your life
-
00:49:14
is to be a father.
The greatest role.
-
00:49:18
It's not being a hunter.
-
00:49:20
It's not being a financial guru.
-
00:49:22
It's not being a success in X,
Y, Z.
-
00:49:24
It's not being ripped.
-
00:49:26
No. The greatest role you will
ever have is being a father.
-
00:49:30
It's the most necessitated
role in our culture.
-
00:49:34
Let me tell you something else.
-
00:49:35
There's no problems with
our younger generation.
-
00:49:37
We all know older people
have to crack on the younger.
-
00:49:39
There are no problem
with the younger generation.
-
00:49:42
There's no problem the
younger generation would have
-
00:49:45
were it not that there's
potential father figures
-
00:49:49
who are phoning it in
and only going golfing.
-
00:49:52
The problems with younger
people always stem from
-
00:49:55
not having a father figure,
and that always means
-
00:49:57
there's somebody out there
who could be a father figure,
-
00:49:59
they're just not
choosing to be it.
-
00:50:01
And generations and culture
suffers as a result of it.
-
00:50:05
When we go and do Go Trips,
which many of us have done,
-
00:50:08
you know the drill.
-
00:50:09
We want to go and bless people
-
00:50:10
and help people who are hurting
-
00:50:12
and work and sweat our
noogies off and all that stuff.
-
00:50:15
And then at the end of it, we
go, "Hey, we're in this place,"
-
00:50:17
wherever it may be,
New Orleans or South Africa
-
00:50:20
or wherever it is.
-
00:50:22
What's here local that
we can kind of enjoy,
-
00:50:24
blow off some steam,
celebrate what God has done
-
00:50:26
and enjoy each other
and just we're at this part
-
00:50:28
of the world, we ought
to take advantage of it.
-
00:50:30
So when we go to South Africa,
-
00:50:32
a common thing is to
go to the national parks.
-
00:50:34
The national parks aren't
like our national parks,
-
00:50:36
which are just beautiful
places to go look at.
-
00:50:38
The national parks there,
they all look the same.
-
00:50:39
They're kind of flat.
They got the same Africa trees.
-
00:50:42
But what they got there is
lions and tigers and bears.
-
00:50:48
- Oh my!
-
00:50:49
- Actually,
they don't have bears or tigers,
-
00:50:51
but they have lions.
-
00:50:52
They have lions and
they have elephants
-
00:50:55
and they have rhinoceroses
and they have water buffalo
-
00:50:58
and they have gazelle,
all these things.
-
00:50:59
You get in basically
a big old thing like this
-
00:51:02
about, I don't know,
four times larger than this
-
00:51:05
with an open patch and seats.
-
00:51:07
And you drive around
and you see these things
-
00:51:09
and because you're in a vehicle,
-
00:51:11
they don't look
at you as a threat.
-
00:51:13
You get out of the vehicle,
you die.
-
00:51:17
The most profound story
of those two national parks
-
00:51:20
that are in South Africa,
Kruger National Park
-
00:51:23
and Pilanes
National Park is this.
-
00:51:25
In Kruger National Park they saw
-
00:51:28
that their elephant
population was down.
-
00:51:29
They're like, "Everyone's
going over Pilanesberg.
-
00:51:31
They're not coming here
because there's not enough.
-
00:51:33
There's not -- there's
not enough elephants."
-
00:51:35
I tell this story in my
book on on manhood.
-
00:51:38
I'll just retell it here.
-
00:51:40
And so they said, "Hey, I know,
-
00:51:43
why don't we go
over to Pilanesberg.
-
00:51:45
And in Pilanesberg they
got a lot of elephants.
-
00:51:47
Why don't we figure
out a way to transport
-
00:51:49
some elephants from
Pilanesberg here to Kruger.
-
00:51:51
And so people keep
coming to Kruger
-
00:51:53
because they want
to see the elephants."
-
00:51:54
And so they said, "Okay,
how do we do that?"
-
00:51:56
Well,
they looked at the logistics.
-
00:51:57
It's kind of hard to get them
to get up, walk up on a truck.
-
00:52:01
And that's kind of a tough ride.
-
00:52:02
For whatever
reason they figure out,
-
00:52:04
"Hey, let's take them
over by helicopter.
-
00:52:08
Let's put a big strap
underneath them.
-
00:52:10
Let's make a gurney and
let's helicopter them over."
-
00:52:13
So the first one got
this big old elephant.
-
00:52:15
They put him there,
they put the thing,
-
00:52:17
they start lifting up,
got a couple feet off the ground
-
00:52:19
and it broke, and he came
crashing down the ground.
-
00:52:22
Fortunately,
I don't think he died.
-
00:52:23
He just started to
get off the ground.
-
00:52:25
But they realized, "Okay, okay,
-
00:52:27
it's going to be hard to
do these big elephants.
-
00:52:29
So let's not do the big,
let's do the smaller elephants."
-
00:52:31
So they went out and
got smaller elephants.
-
00:52:33
It worked perfectly,
got them up in the air,
-
00:52:35
got them over to Kruger,
dropped them off.
-
00:52:36
All was happy. The
tourists are looking at them.
-
00:52:38
It's beautiful.
Everyone's happy.
-
00:52:40
And then they find
-
00:52:41
the white rhinoceroses
are starting to die.
-
00:52:44
And they think it's poachers.
-
00:52:46
The poachers are killing
the white rhinoceroses.
-
00:52:49
But they look closer
and it's not bullet wounds,
-
00:52:52
it's like spear wounds.
-
00:52:53
They're going, "Who would
spear a white rhinoceros?"
-
00:52:57
And then they realize,
they set up cameras.
-
00:53:00
They realize it's the elephants.
-
00:53:03
The elephants are
killing the rhinoceros.
-
00:53:06
Which makes no sense at all,
-
00:53:07
because elephants
don't eat meat.
-
00:53:10
It's joy killing.
-
00:53:11
And we've never seen this.
Why would they do that?
-
00:53:14
And someone has a theory of,
-
00:53:16
"Maybe we got this
smaller elephants,
-
00:53:18
and we got all the adolescents.
-
00:53:20
And the adolescents
are just creating problems,
-
00:53:22
like smashing mailboxes
and stuff like that.
-
00:53:24
Maybe, maybe,
maybe that's what's happened."
-
00:53:26
They thought, "Maybe.
Well, let's try something."
-
00:53:30
So they go over to Pilanesberg,
-
00:53:32
they get the same harness,
except they beef it up.
-
00:53:34
They do a hyper industrial
strength, a huge mass,
-
00:53:36
and they start bringing
some big boy elephants over.
-
00:53:38
And they drop the
big boy elephants over.
-
00:53:41
And they're hanging,
roaming around.
-
00:53:42
And one of these young
buck adolescent elephants
-
00:53:46
that thinks that's really
cool comes trotting up,
-
00:53:48
trying to show how cool he is.
-
00:53:50
And the big boy elephant
looks at him, charges him
-
00:53:54
and knocks him
broadside on his back.
-
00:53:58
And the problem is solved.
No more rhinoceroses.
-
00:54:02
No more rhinoceroses
ever get killed
-
00:54:05
because a father showed up.
-
00:54:07
Because a father showed
up and said, "No, no, no,
-
00:54:11
we don't do that here.
No, no, no, young'un,
-
00:54:14
I'm not standing for that"
-
00:54:15
. Men who are mature, we
need you to be father figures.
-
00:54:19
I don't care if you've had kids
or not or how many you have,
-
00:54:22
people need to come
under your covering.
-
00:54:24
They need to come
under your potency.
-
00:54:26
It's the most powerful thing
you will ever do with your life.
-
00:54:30
Do not be deluded
by all the people
-
00:54:32
who are trying to not be dads.
-
00:54:33
Do not be deluded by the people
-
00:54:35
who don't want to get married.
-
00:54:36
Do not be deluded by all the
people
-
00:54:37
who don't want to have kids,
-
00:54:39
want to put her off
as long as possible.
-
00:54:40
Do not be diluted by the people
-
00:54:42
who don't want to take
responsibility for a life
-
00:54:43
and just want to
have their hobbies.
-
00:54:45
Do not be deluded
to think that their life
-
00:54:47
is the sum of their net worth.
-
00:54:49
No. Your life is the
sum of the people
-
00:54:51
you bless and
build into and cover.
-
00:54:54
That's what a dad does.
-
00:55:01
And for you to take
that call on your life,
-
00:55:03
you're going to
have to stand firm
-
00:55:04
because nothing in culture
is ever going to support that.
-
00:55:08
Everything culture is
going to belittle you,
-
00:55:10
show you as a loser.
-
00:55:11
How many good,
positive father figures
-
00:55:13
have you seen in Hollywood?
Not a lot.
-
00:55:17
This is a big thing,
not just for us as a culture,
-
00:55:21
not just for people,
but it's a big thing for you.
-
00:55:24
It's a calling you need to
stand firm in and step into.
-
00:55:28
Third thing is, the final
thing is that fathers finish.
-
00:55:32
When's the work for dad done,
right?
-
00:55:35
It feels like it's
going to be done
-
00:55:36
when they're out of diapers.
It's not.
-
00:55:38
It's going to be done when
they graduate from high school.
-
00:55:40
It's not. Done when
they get married, right?
-
00:55:42
No, it's not.
-
00:55:44
Going to be done when
they get their first job, right?
-
00:55:46
No, no, no, it's not.
It never, never ever, ever ends.
-
00:55:51
The worst job I did as a parent,
and I've confessed this
-
00:55:54
to her a number of times,
is my youngest daughter, Moriah.
-
00:56:00
Lena, Jake, two years
apart and then five years.
-
00:56:03
We started Crossroads
about a year and a half,
-
00:56:05
two years after Jake was born.
-
00:56:07
And so we're, like,
"Man, we can't --
-
00:56:08
We can't take on a church
and more of our family.
-
00:56:11
Let's pause that
for a little bit."
-
00:56:13
So we had Moriah
five years later
-
00:56:15
and it was a huge mistake,
actually huge mistake.
-
00:56:18
Because -- not her, she
was an unbelievable blessing,
-
00:56:24
is an unbelievable blessing.
-
00:56:26
It was a huge mistake because
what do you think happens
-
00:56:29
when you're in diaper
mode for like four years solid,
-
00:56:32
three years, and then
all of a sudden you're not?
-
00:56:34
What do you think
it's like when you're in
-
00:56:35
reading book mode going
up and little kids going,
-
00:56:39
"Daddy, read me a chapter."
"Okay, okay, one more chapter,"
-
00:56:41
As you're putting them to bed.
-
00:56:42
And then you have
a five year break
-
00:56:45
and you got to restart
those engines again.
-
00:56:48
It was hard.
It was really difficult.
-
00:56:50
She got the least
of me in those ages.
-
00:56:53
She says, "Daddy,
read another chapter."
-
00:56:54
"No, no, you need to sleep.
-
00:56:56
You need to sleep,
need to sleep.
-
00:56:58
You just, you know,
you got to get eight hours.
-
00:57:00
Honey, I can't. I got to be --
-
00:57:02
It'd be irresponsible
for me as a dad
-
00:57:04
to give more time to
reading you right now.
-
00:57:06
I can't. I can't do that."
-
00:57:09
2 Timothy 4:7, Paul,
the apostle Paul says
-
00:57:13
to all of us who'd
be father figures:
-
00:57:15
I fought the good fight,
I finished the race.
-
00:57:18
I have kept the faith.
-
00:57:20
Finished the race.
When do I finish as a father?
-
00:57:26
I've come to conclude
that I don't finish.
-
00:57:29
All of us want dad
standing on point.
-
00:57:32
I don't care if
you're 60 years old,
-
00:57:34
you want to feel like
you have a backstop.
-
00:57:36
You want to feel like
somebody thinks about you.
-
00:57:38
You want to feel like somebody
is praying for you daily,
-
00:57:42
that somebody else feels
vested interest in your success,
-
00:57:46
is going to the Heavenly Father
-
00:57:47
and mentioning you
by name every day.
-
00:57:49
Everybody wants that.
So our work is never done.
-
00:57:52
But certain parts of the
work are done, right?
-
00:57:54
You get done with diapers,
you get done with this,
-
00:57:56
you get done with that.
But when does the work end?
-
00:58:00
It's hard work. And guess what?
-
00:58:02
You know what
spiritual growth is?
-
00:58:04
Spiritual growth
is being like God,
-
00:58:06
that's what spiritual
growth is all about.
-
00:58:08
It's not like, "Well, I want
to have ethereal feelings.
-
00:58:10
Woo, woo,
I want to have visions.
-
00:58:12
Woo, I want to have
miraculous things happen."
-
00:58:15
Those things may all happen,
but spiritual growth
-
00:58:17
is only one thing: being
like God, being like Jesus,
-
00:58:23
that's what it is.
You know what He's like?
-
00:58:25
Well, Jesus tells us
in John 5:17, He says:
-
00:58:29
My Father is always at
work up the present time.
-
00:58:33
And I too am work.
-
00:58:35
What's God doing right now?
He's working right now.
-
00:58:38
That's what he's doing.
He's working right now.
-
00:58:40
I don't know what
exactly He's doing,
-
00:58:42
but it's working right now.
-
00:58:43
So as a dad, it's a hard life.
-
00:58:46
That's why people don't want it.
-
00:58:48
It's a fight. You work.
There's no days off.
-
00:58:52
And when you check out,
there's often consequences.
-
00:58:55
Which is why everyone
wants to shirk that possibility.
-
00:58:58
But man, is it beautiful.
Man, is it rich.
-
00:59:02
Who is going to care about my
hunting exploits when I'm gone?
-
00:59:05
Nobody.
-
00:59:07
Who's going to care about
your degrees on your wall?
-
00:59:10
Nobody. No one cares right now,
sorry to tell you.
-
00:59:12
No one. No one cares.
-
00:59:14
Who's going to care about
the digits in your bank account?
-
00:59:17
Nobody cares about it.
-
00:59:18
They're going to get it and
they're going to spend it all.
-
00:59:20
And you're going to say,
-
00:59:21
"I'm going to make
a name for myself.
-
00:59:23
I'm going to give
it to this nonprofit."
-
00:59:24
They're not going
to care for you
-
00:59:26
5 years when you're gone either.
-
00:59:27
You are not -- the only
way you're going to last,
-
00:59:31
the only way you're going
to have lasting impact
-
00:59:33
is to have kids. That's the
only way. It's the only way.
-
00:59:36
You want to have a
long lasting legacy,
-
00:59:39
have a life that you
take responsibility for,
-
00:59:42
have a life that you build.
-
00:59:43
Leave the world a better place
than it was when you came here,
-
00:59:46
because you're not
leaving with multiple people
-
00:59:48
who are further
along than you are.
-
00:59:50
That's what a dad does.
It's who we are.
-
00:59:53
And it never ends,
just the task of the day ends.
-
00:59:57
As I was coming down
to -- as I was getting close
-
01:00:00
to being done with this,
I had in my sights,
-
01:00:03
"Here's what my next
vehicle is going to be."
-
01:00:05
So I called my friend Petey,
-
01:00:08
who's helped me understand
how to paint things.
-
01:00:09
I never knew how to do
automotive paint before.
-
01:00:11
And Petey, I said, "Hey, man,
-
01:00:13
why don't you come
take a look at this project?
-
01:00:15
I want to get your ideas."
-
01:00:17
He said, "Nope,
not going to do it."
-
01:00:19
I said, "Why?"
-
01:00:20
He said, "Uh, because
you're not done with the Jeep.
-
01:00:23
Don't ever start something
-
01:00:25
before you finish
what you started."
-
01:00:27
And he wasn't really right.
-
01:00:29
He was right in the concept,
but I was -- I was done.
-
01:00:32
Although a Jeep is never done.
-
01:00:37
The fuel pump is out right now,
-
01:00:39
so I can't even
drive this right now.
-
01:00:41
I have to replace the fuel pump.
-
01:00:42
It was driving one day.
It was. It's never done.
-
01:00:45
But Petey was right.
He was saying,
-
01:00:46
"Hey, don't start something
-
01:00:48
until you're done
with the last thing."
-
01:00:49
How many of us go to Home Depot
-
01:00:51
to try to finish up a project?
-
01:00:52
We go to Home
Depot to buy our stuff,
-
01:00:54
and on our way out we go,
"Oh, I need that.
-
01:00:56
Oh, that reminds me,
I have that other project."
-
01:00:59
And we end up buying more
crap for some other project
-
01:01:02
and we delude ourselves
into thinking that,
-
01:01:04
"Oh, if I'm buying things,
I'm doing things."
-
01:01:06
No, you're just buying things.
-
01:01:09
How about finishing what you
actually came there to start?
-
01:01:13
So as a dad, there's always
something we have to do
-
01:01:17
and we have to finish it.
-
01:01:19
The diapers may stop, but
the encouragement never stops.
-
01:01:24
You know?
The discipline may stop,
-
01:01:28
but the counsel, appropriately
given and when wanted
-
01:01:32
never, never stops.
-
01:01:36
And God's not finished
with you right now.
-
01:01:38
He's still fathering
you and I right now.
-
01:01:41
He'll get it done.
Philippians 1:6 says:
-
01:01:42
He who began a good work in you
-
01:01:45
will be faithful to complete it.
-
01:01:47
So He's still working on us.
-
01:01:49
And just like I with my kids
who are in their 20s and 30s,
-
01:01:53
I'm still working on them.
-
01:01:56
I mentioned Gil earlier,
did his funeral 13 years ago.
-
01:02:02
And he had such a
profound impact on me
-
01:02:05
and other guys he
intentionally chose to father,
-
01:02:08
having never had his
-- he and Joann never
-
01:02:10
had their own DNA kids
or never adopted kids.
-
01:02:16
And he was such an inspiration.
-
01:02:18
This guy, he obviously was
a force of nature at one point.
-
01:02:20
He was, I think in his
prime he was probably
-
01:02:23
six five or something like that,
-
01:02:24
and he had shriveled
down to about, I don't know,
-
01:02:27
maybe five eleven in
the latter part of his life.
-
01:02:31
Just things compress, right?
-
01:02:33
But man,
the vigor he had was astounding.
-
01:02:36
He had this plaque
on his cubicle.
-
01:02:42
He worked here at Crossroads
overseeing our facility.
-
01:02:47
At the end, he didn't
get paid anything for it,
-
01:02:49
but he oversaw our facility,
and he had this little scooter.
-
01:02:51
He'd kind of go
around on the scooter
-
01:02:53
as his legs were
starting to fail him,
-
01:02:55
all his joints were
replaced and stuff.
-
01:02:57
But he had this
unbelievable energy
-
01:02:58
and he had this zeal,
like, you go, like,
-
01:03:00
"Why are you here?" Some people
are like, "Why are you here?
-
01:03:03
Why aren't you
golfing every day?
-
01:03:05
Or why aren't you playing
bingo or something like that?"
-
01:03:09
But he was here because
he wanted a father people.
-
01:03:11
He wanted to have
a lasting legacy.
-
01:03:14
And on his cubicle he had this
plaque that was his motivation.
-
01:03:21
And there's a bunch
of different versions of it
-
01:03:23
that are out there.
-
01:03:24
I don't know who came
up with it originally,
-
01:03:26
but here was his version,
and let me just read it to you.
-
01:03:30
This life ain't about playing
it safe or staying clean.
-
01:03:33
It's about charging hard,
-
01:03:35
getting scarred
up for the kingdom
-
01:03:37
and sliding into heaven,
worn out, mud on your face,
-
01:03:39
blood on your knuckles
and fire in your bones,
-
01:03:42
shouting, "Holy shit,
Lord, what a ride."
-
01:03:52
That's what dads do.
That's what moms do.
-
01:03:56
That's what everybody
does who wants to have a life.
-
01:03:59
It's a fight. It's hard.
It's difficult.
-
01:04:03
Everything of significance
is hard and difficult
-
01:04:06
and that's why fewer
and fewer people
-
01:04:08
are stepping up towardr it.
-
01:04:10
And they're deluded.
-
01:04:11
Don't allow the deluding
influence of culture
-
01:04:14
dumb you down into having
a life that's void of meaning
-
01:04:17
and void of
building into a life,
-
01:04:19
taking responsibility for
life and nurturing our life.
-
01:04:24
Because guess what?
You're meant to be like God
-
01:04:26
and God's still doing that
with you and I, thank God.
-
01:04:39
If you're wanting to
draw your line in the sand
-
01:04:44
and just go, "I'm done
just being like other guys
-
01:04:48
who do guy things.
-
01:04:50
I want to be a father figure.
And this is just a marker.
-
01:04:55
I'm going to be a father.
I'm embracing that.
-
01:04:57
I'm embracing that fight."
-
01:04:59
Let's pray.
God, I am so thankful, Father,
-
01:05:02
that You're a
great Father to me.
-
01:05:04
I haven't understood everything
You've done in my life,
-
01:05:06
in the moment I haven't liked
-
01:05:07
everything You've
done in my life.
-
01:05:09
I haven't liked everything
You've allowed to happen to me,
-
01:05:12
but man, as the Bible says,
the boundary lines
-
01:05:15
have fallen from me
in pleasant places.
-
01:05:17
You have been good to me.
-
01:05:18
You're a good, good Father,
and I want to be more like You.
-
01:05:26
And I want to have
the kind of influence
-
01:05:28
on the people in my sphere
-
01:05:29
that You've had on
me and so many others.
-
01:05:32
So, God take us.
We're sorry for our impurities.
-
01:05:35
We're sorry for our mistakes.
-
01:05:37
We're sorry for just
having our eye off the ball.
-
01:05:39
But we're making a
decision today to be different.
-
01:05:44
I want any guy,
any guy in the room
-
01:05:47
that wants to be
a father figure,
-
01:05:48
I want you to stand right now.
-
01:05:50
Any guy in the room,
all of our rooms.
-
01:05:51
You want to be a father figure,
I want you to stand right now.
-
01:05:54
If you don't want to,
great, stay seating.
-
01:05:58
I'll put a prayer for you.
-
01:06:00
God, look at these
men in all these rooms.
-
01:06:02
Look at these men.
-
01:06:03
Look at these potential fathers
-
01:06:06
who can bless the young bulls,
-
01:06:08
who can bless the young bucks.
-
01:06:09
I ask that You put Your
Spirit on them in a unique way.
-
01:06:12
I pray for grace on them.
-
01:06:13
I pray for forgiveness on them.
-
01:06:16
That they would
stop reliving the ways
-
01:06:17
that they dropped the ball
and beat themselves up.
-
01:06:20
I pray that you would give them
redemptive times of healing,
-
01:06:23
if they have actual kids.
-
01:06:24
And I pray You'd bring the
right future children to them,
-
01:06:27
for them to father
figure and to fight for.
-
01:06:31
Restore this generation, I pray
in the name of Jesus. Amen.
-
01:06:35
- Man, that prayer was so good.
- Wow.
-
01:06:38
- And I want you to know, like,
-
01:06:40
in case you're tempted
to believe that prayer
-
01:06:42
was for people
just in this room.
-
01:06:43
No, that was for you.
-
01:06:46
We say this all the time
around here, all the time,
-
01:06:49
but we are not just content.
-
01:06:50
We're not just
something to watch.
-
01:06:51
We are truly a community
that you can belong to.
-
01:06:53
So if anything jumped out
with you in Brian's prayer
-
01:06:56
or in his message or your
own story with your own father,
-
01:06:59
we'd love to talk with you,
process with you
-
01:07:01
or pray with you.
-
01:07:03
You can do that
just by chatting in.
-
01:07:05
- Yeah. Crossroads.net,
hit the chat button
-
01:07:07
or text Anywhere to 301301
-
01:07:10
and we can start that
conversation with you.
-
01:07:11
- That's right.
Actually a really great way
-
01:07:14
for you to connect with
the broader community
-
01:07:16
and movement of
Crossroads is through
-
01:07:18
what we call Anywhere Home.
-
01:07:19
It's kind of like our
own Crossroads specific
-
01:07:21
social platform where
people pray for one another,
-
01:07:24
get to know each other,
find people local to them,
-
01:07:26
trainings, groups,
places where people can hang out
-
01:07:29
and get to know each other.
It's awesome.
-
01:07:31
- Yeah. And again,
don't miss the Summer Hangouts
-
01:07:34
because that's a great
way to get with real people
-
01:07:36
in backyards and coffee shops,
rooftops,
-
01:07:39
maybe even slip and slides.
No promises. Hopefully.
-
01:07:43
- Hopefully. Yeah. Guys, thank
you so much for joining us,
-
01:07:45
for being a part of the
movement that is Crossroads.
-
01:07:48
So good to have you.
-
01:07:49
- We'll see you next week.