Fatherhood is a Fight

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- Well, hey, welcome to Crossroads.

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We are a church for people who might have given up on church

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but haven't given up on God.

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And on weeks like this we're also the church

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for people who like vintage Jeeps.

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It's actually going to be

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a part of our Father's Day raffle later.

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No, I'm just kidding.

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Our senior pastor is going to talk about

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why this is here in a little bit,

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but I want to introduce myself. My name is Andy Reider.

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- And I'm Arturo, and I love that church

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can sometimes be two guys talking to a screen

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to a community that's found all over the world.

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- That's right. - It's weird and it's beautiful,

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and it's probably more comfortable

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than sitting in a church pew, right?

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- I think so, but you know what is

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the most comfortable thing?

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It's the Crocs and socks. Love it.

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That is dad certified.

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- Andy, they scream: I do my own yardwork.

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- Do you do your own yard? - Yes.

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- Hey, it is Father's Day and we're so glad you're here.

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Whether you're a dad or whether you're just somebody

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with incredibly strong convictions about

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the exact right way to start a grill,

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we're so glad you're here.

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- Yeah, Feliz del padre a todos.

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And this message really is for everyone,

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regardless of what your relationship

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with your earthly father looks like,

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just know that there is a Heavenly Father

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that is for you and loves you.

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- Yeah, that's the whole reason our church exists,

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and we're going to spend time right now

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to connect with our Heavenly Father,

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actually doing something that followers of Jesus

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have done for thousands and thousands of years,

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forever, which is using songs to connect with God.

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And that's what we're going to do right now.

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- So grab your cafecito. Let's go.

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- Let's go.

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- Come on. We sing to the one who has all power.

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We sing His name.

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- We sing this prayer.

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- God, it's not -- it's not lost on me

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that those are heavy words to sing,

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that I would remind myself to lay all that I desire

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and all that I want down in exchange for what You want.

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It's a heavy thing to say.

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So, God, what my prayer is that You would help me

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to mean those words, that You'd start to show me

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over time areas that I haven't laid down,

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areas in my life that I haven't handed over to You.

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God, would you show me? Would you show me?

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Would you show us so that we can look in the mirror

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and hopefully one day not see our own reflection,

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but see the reflection of Jesus.

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God, you're so good. Help us to mean those words.

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It's in Jesus's name I pray. Amen. Amen.

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Y'all know I love when we sing in this room together.

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Hey, those words might have been hard for you to sing.

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If you're like, "Ah, I don't know that I'm quite there,"

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I want you to know that that's okay.

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We sing tough things, and sometimes

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it's getting ourselves to a place,

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and sometimes we're not all there,

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sometimes we're learning,

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and this is a safe place for that.

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So I just want you to know that.

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If you put in a little bit of a burden,

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maybe on yourself, because you don't mean

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those words as much as you would want to,

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or as much as you might perceive us to up here, don't.

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Don't do it, because we're all figuring it out every day.

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And Jesus loves that. He loves it. Yeah.

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Hey, why don't you find somebody next to you,

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give 'em a high five. Tell 'em your name.

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We're all one big family here.

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You can have a seat.

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Guys, thanks so much for being here with us.

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We're so glad to have you.

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Hey, we're talking about fathers today

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and the importance of fathers.

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And before we get into that, though,

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let's get a 10X update from our Senior Pastor Brian Tome.

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- Hey, my name is Brian, if we haven't met yet.

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I want to give a bit of an update

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before I launch into my talk.

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People are often asking, "Hey, what's going on with this?

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What's going on with that?"

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I want to give you some numbers and some info,

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because I think you'll find this very, very encouraging today.

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A number of months ago, we ended

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the discernment part of the journey that we called

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The Push for 10X, where we were pushing

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each other spiritually, pushing each other financially,

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and looking to 10X the size of Crossroads,

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looking to 10X the impact and the depth of Crossroads,

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looking at 10X the the way the Kingdom of God

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manifests itself and the regions in which we are.

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And I thought you might want a little update

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that's encouraging. Would you like some encouragement?

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Would you like that? Yeah, yeah, I hope you do.

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So first of all, for the number geeks,

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because we don't share these very often.

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Let's go through some numbers here.

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We had total commitments above and beyond

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what we regularly give for three years,

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those total commitments came out to be $210,675,562.

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Good job. [applause]

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That was committed by 8586 people.

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1461 were brand new givers,

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never gave anything to Crossroads before.

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That's really neat. Thank you. Well done.

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To date, commitment is one thing. Fine.

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Commit whatever, but like what actually is happening?

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How much is actually coming in?

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We have right now $43.4 million has come in,

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which is 21% of that total,

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above and beyond regular giving.

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That's great. It's all good news.

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It's all good news today.

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There are -- this basically puts us,

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if we look at similar things we've done like this

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over the last 30 years, we would have expected

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to be not doing as well.

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We're actually $9 million ahead of pace.

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Every way we look at this is good news.

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We've had of those givers, 8586,

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we've had 6707 givers who've given to the 10X so far,

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including 708 of you who didn't make commitments

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but you gave, or are giving.

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That's cool. That's great. Thank you.

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So there's obviously, I don't know what the math is

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right there, 8586 minus 6707.

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One of you people who wear pencil protectors,

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pocket protectors will let me know.

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Whatever that difference is,

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that's the number of people who have not started.

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They committed, but they haven't started yet.

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That's not good news.

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We all need to finish what we start.

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And a good place to start is just start.

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But having said that, that's actually 40% better

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than historical data would cause us to expect.

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So everything around is really, really good stuff.

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Now, what have we done with this money?

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That's just the dollars. What's happened?

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Well, a few things.

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One, we've finished Dayton, our next generation facility.

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We finished that and Dayton is screaming

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in three short months they've tripled in attendance.

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Tripled. [cheers]

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It's just really weird, like, Kevin Costner

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apparently was right, at least in Dayton,

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build it and they will come. Crazy.

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We have -- Actually, that wasn't Kevin Costner.

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That was, uh, Earl Jones. Earl Jones.

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James Earl Jones, James Earl Jones. Got it. Yeah.

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Columbus has moved out of their temporary,

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very, very small rental facility.

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We've gotten them property. They're in that property.

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They're meeting in one of

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the outer outcropping areas on that property.

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And we're getting ready as resources come in

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to actually overhaul that entire campus.

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That's really great news.

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Where I'm standing right now is in Oakley.

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We call this our broadcast campus,

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because this is where we broadcast

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the teaching to other places.

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And I would love the idea of going around to every campus,

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whoever the teacher is going to different campuses

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and doing that, but we can't do that

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and we don't do that because the amount of money

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it takes to broadcast, the cameras, the expenses,

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it's just not good stewardship to put them

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in a bunch of different campuses.

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So this is the place where that technology is loaded up.

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And this is the place where we started

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with our new rollout of different technology packages

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to all of our sites.

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Here we have started as a result of The Push, the Wonderwall.

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I'm standing on before and in the Wonderwall.

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Actually, if you're in the lower level of Oakley,

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it doesn't look like any big deal,

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but actually at sites and online

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it looks much, much better.

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It looks, it looks amazing.

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And Wonderwall is about at 50% capacity right now.

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It's going to be twice as good. We're still learning things.

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There's some other things that are being bolted on,

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but those of us who are encouraged seeing it,

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we kind of like it, right?

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The worship has been pretty powerful.

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The graphics, squashing the scorpion,

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the pickleball court, a lot of --

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A lot of fun stuff there.

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By the end of summer, here's where we get to another gear.

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We as a church aren't just into tech.

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We're not into numbers.

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We're into lives, all types of lives.

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That includes the least of these.

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Jesus says, "You didn't visit Me in prison.

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You didn't see Me when I was hungry.

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You didn't see Me when I was naked."

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And people said to Him,

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"What are you talking about we didn't see You?

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What? We never saw You in prison.

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We never saw You naked. We never saw You hungry."

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And Jesus says, "Well, I identify with those folks.

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So you didn't do it for the least of these,

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you didn't do it for Me. You never visited Me in prison."

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So we take people in prison pretty seriously.

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We want to bless them.

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And as part of the 10X we want to be

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in every single state in the entire nation.

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As a result of your giving and finding the right partner

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we're now in 36 states, 36 states. [cheers and applause]

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We have some tech that we're still now writing software

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to be on the iPads or to be featured front and centered

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in all of those prisons. 36. It's up behind me.

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165,000 tablets, and hopefully it's going to grow from there.

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We're not in all of those right now,

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but we now have a path and we're making it,

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and it's happening because of your giving.

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How does it feel to be used by God with what you give?

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Huh? Feels pretty good.

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We sent last month $150,000 to Anjali,

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who we have a partnership with in Nepal,

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who has that school. That's good news.

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And the 210,000 square foot recovery campus

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for girls who've been in the rape for profit industry,

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who we've rescued, we like to use that phrase.

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It's a little jarring, just so we're all jarred

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of what the stakes are.

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And just to say human trafficking, which is awful,

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just use the phrase for what it is,

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the rape for profit industry.

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In the center we want to rehab people in that campus.

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We were hoping to get going this fall,

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but we can't go this fall because, what do you know?

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They have government and bureaucracy over there too,

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so it's going to be waited a bit.

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But our giving is facilitating the breaking of that ground

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when it happens somewhat soon.

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And we've also started base camp improvements

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for Man Camp, Woman Camp, Couples Camp,

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The Revival, all that stuff.

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Now all this means great job, good and faithful servants.

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Really good. How's it feel to be used by God?

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It feels pretty darn good, doesn't it?

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I love it, it's good.

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There's no ask in here. Here's the --

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It's not an ask. It's just an awareness.

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For those of us who have made commitments

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and are fulfilling them. Thank you.

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You didn't commit to getting it done in this time period

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or that period you just committed to

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over a three year period.

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Awareness is this, if you can, the sooner

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you can start and fulfill, the better for us

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because as cash comes in, we can start doing things

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that we have committed to do.

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As cash comes in, we can start doing anything

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from 1824, expanding our student ministry sections,

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getting the tech we need and want at other sites,

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putting the 80 foot dam in at Base Camp for a lake

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for baptisms and ambiance, and on and on and on and on.

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So if you can start or accelerate your pace,

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if even fulfill early if God has done something, great.

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That will help us get things done.

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Because as money comes in,

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that's how stuff is getting done.

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Cool? Cool? All right. Good. Let's pray.

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And then I'm about ready to start my talk proper.

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So God, I am honored and humbled to be a part of

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a community that can celebrate things that we just heard about.

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I am humbled that I get to be a part of it,

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and humbled that I get to talk as well about things today

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that are of a transcendent and primal nature.

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We thank You for being good to us,

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and I'm praying that You also would help me

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to be true to Your reputation and character,

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and to communicate well who You are as a great Heavenly Dad.

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I pray these things according to

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the character and identity of Jesus. Amen.

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- Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen.

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- The fight isn't won out there in the spotlight.

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It's in the shadows.

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- Ring Announcer: The fight of our lives.

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- When the time comes, you don't rise to the moment,

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you fall to the level of your training.

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- Ring Announcer: Six rounds, each different opponent.

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- To defeat your opponent you need to know your opponent.

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Your opponent wants you to think

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you can't finish the job, you can't keep going.

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RING ANNOUNCER: Round three: Stand firm against lies.

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Let the fight begin.

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- We're in week three of a series of Standing Firm.

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Standing firm because the world is blowing resistance

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against us all the time.

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Standing firm because if you want to spiritually grow,

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if you want to connect with God, it's a fight.

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It's a difficult, difficult endeavor that,

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quite frankly, many people aren't up for.

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And as soon as resistance come, they drop away

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because they thought life and God was all about

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rose gardens and beautiful thoughts and feelings

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and nice grand visions.

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And certainly that stuff can happen and does happen.

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But the heart of walking with God is a fight

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that you've got to stand firm

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in whatever God is asking you to do.

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I am up here with a vehicle and today, by the way,

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Happy Father's Day, everybody.

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I'm talking about fathers today. Good to be with you.

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Although, as you'll see in a moment,

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if you're a mother, pretty much everything applies to you,

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whether you have kids or not have kids.

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There's something here for everybody.

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But on Father's Day, which is a fight to be a good dad,

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the last time I did a Father's Day talk

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a couple of years ago, father's talk was

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I had this on stage, but it was a stripped down version.

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Because I had this identical Jeep, same year, 1978,

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same engine, 304, when I was in college.

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But I had to sell it because I couldn't afford the gas.

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And as I was leaving the parking lot, I said,

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"Someday I'm going to have that exact same vehicle,

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someday I am."

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Well, this is the day.

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And so as I bought it, I've been making this.

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It looks exactly, except way nicer,

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because it's basically brand new,

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exactly like the one that I had in college.

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I'm its daddy. I'm this thing's daddy.

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Every, every bolt has had my fingers on it.

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Every gear has had my palms in it

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mashing grease around the bearings.

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Every square inch of paint I've painted.

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Every, every piston, every, every, every everything.

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I haven't paid anybody to do anything on this.

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I'm its daddy. I'm its daddy.

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The interesting thing about this,

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which it was kind of therapeutic for me because

00:29:40

when I would get away from doing whatever project

00:29:43

I was doing on the Jeep, I could look at something

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and say, "Oh, I did that."

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So much of the time in my life,

00:29:48

there's nothing for me to look back on and see I did that.

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There's a calendar, there's a meeting schedule,

00:29:52

there's a Word doc or excuse me, a Google doc

00:29:55

or something like that, but there's nothing,

00:29:56

nothing to like, "Oh." So it was really meaningful.

00:29:59

And the other thing that's really interesting about it

00:30:01

is no matter what happened in bringing this thing to being,

00:30:05

I knew I could solve any problem.

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All I needed was a little more time

00:30:09

and a little more money, another part.

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And I wish I was that easy to fix.

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I wish God could fix me that easily,

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but I'm a living, breathing thing.

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I wish ministry was that easy.

00:30:20

I think -- I wish helping all of us would be that easy,

00:30:24

but we're people.

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I wish it was just a program and a little more of this,

00:30:28

but it's not.

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Now, I'm going to get back to this in a moment,

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but let me make sure we understand how rare

00:30:34

what I'm talking about today is.

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I'm talking about fathers,

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and people aren't talking about fathers.

00:30:40

In fact, we have a bitterness towards our father,

00:30:43

many of us, which I'll explain in a moment.

00:30:45

If you look on the influencer sphere,

00:30:48

like, who's influencing other men,

00:30:51

there's all sorts of influencers.

00:30:53

There's workout influencers,

00:30:55

there's health influencers,

00:30:58

there's hobby influencers,

00:31:01

like the hunting hobby influencer,

00:31:03

there's financial influencers,

00:31:06

there's fabrication influencers,

00:31:08

there's social influencers of how a man should live his life.

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And some of these people are really, really horrible people.

00:31:19

One of them specifically is just

00:31:21

a horrible, horrible individual.

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And yet these people and influencers have millions,

00:31:29

millions of people who look to them for inspiration

00:31:33

and how to get to a new place in life. Millions.

00:31:37

You know what there's not any of?

00:31:38

There's no father influencers.

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There's no father influencers. Why is that?

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You know why? It's always follow the money trail, right?

00:31:49

And the reason is because they can't figure out

00:31:52

a way how to monetize a father influence.

00:31:54

You can monetize other things

00:31:55

because guys want to be hunters.

00:31:57

They want to be manly men. They want to be this.

00:31:59

So I'll follow you and you can get advertising off me.

00:32:01

But no one thinks that men are interested in being dads

00:32:06

and so why blow out a channel

00:32:08

and start doing something like that?

00:32:10

It's just, it's just not out there.

00:32:12

I want us to have kind of three understandings

00:32:15

today as we get through this.

00:32:17

First is this: there is a father framework.

00:32:19

As you look throughout the the whole Bible,

00:32:22

through all of history and in your own primal DNA,

00:32:27

there is a father framework.

00:32:29

The Bible never refers to God as a mother.

00:32:32

The Bible only refers to God as a father.

00:32:35

Now, the Bible does make it very clear that God

00:32:38

does have some stereotypically feminine aspects.

00:32:42

He has all the beautiful things about femininity,

00:32:44

all the beautiful things about mothering,

00:32:46

God has all those. He is all those.

00:32:49

But the Bible always calls Him a Father.

00:32:52

In fact, all the metaphors there are for God,

00:32:55

there's a lot of metaphors for God,

00:32:57

the most common one by far is Father.

00:32:59

It's used 165 times in the Old Testament

00:33:04

and in the New Testament.

00:33:05

I'll give you a couple of examples from each.

00:33:07

The book of Matthew 6:9,

00:33:09

Jesus, when trying to get us to understand prayer.

00:33:12

I know it is the Lord's Prayer.

00:33:14

You may know it as the Lord's Prayer.

00:33:15

If you have Catholic background,

00:33:17

you may know it as the Our Father.

00:33:18

You know the very beginning of it.

00:33:20

It says, Our Father who is in heaven,

00:33:23

or our Father who art in heaven.

00:33:24

Our Father who's in heaven, our Heavenly Father.

00:33:29

We can understand something about God if we

00:33:32

understand something about how a fathers should operate.

00:33:35

Isaiah 64:8, Old Testament:

00:33:37

But now, O Lord, You are our Father:

00:33:41

we are the clay, You are the potter;

00:33:43

we are the work of Your hand.

00:33:45

Like I said, I'm this thing's daddy.

00:33:47

It's the work of my hand, and that's what fathers do.

00:33:50

They take a life and they mold it, they shape it.

00:33:54

Which is part of why many of us don't like Father's Day

00:33:58

and part of us, part of us are doing

00:34:00

all we can to hang in there emotionally in here.

00:34:03

Because you don't have a good earthly father

00:34:06

that reflects at all on what a Heavenly Father is.

00:34:10

It's very difficult.

00:34:11

They didn't mold you, they may have put their hands on you,

00:34:15

but they never beautifully molded you

00:34:18

like Isaiah talks about.

00:34:20

I really wanted for this talk to have, like,

00:34:23

what would be the like?

00:34:24

I just want to hang out in like one chunk of scripture

00:34:27

and just do that. What the best chunk of scripture

00:34:30

that really describes what a dad does,

00:34:33

defines what a dad does?

00:34:35

And as I went through my mind all the times

00:34:37

I've read through the Bible and all the times

00:34:39

I've studied man stuff, I realized there is no --

00:34:42

There's there's no, like, chapter in the Bible

00:34:44

or section in the Bible that says here's what a dad does.

00:34:47

None. There's no checklist.

00:34:49

For mothers there's maybe one,

00:34:50

maybe Proverbs 31 for mothers, for women,

00:34:53

but none for dads.

00:34:55

Instead, what the scriptures do is

00:34:58

they regularly keep tying back, like,

00:35:00

there's a Heavenly Father, and that should be like you.

00:35:03

Your Heavenly Father does these things,

00:35:05

so you should do these things.

00:35:08

Here's some examples that are just rich.

00:35:11

They're rich to understanding our Heavenly Father.

00:35:13

All of us have a Heavenly Father

00:35:15

and rich to helping us understand be a dad.

00:35:18

In the book of Matthew, Jesus puts it this way:

00:35:21

Which of you, if his son asks for bread,

00:35:25

will give him a stone?

00:35:27

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?

00:35:31

If you then, who are evil,

00:35:33

know how to give good gifts to your children,

00:35:36

how much more will your father in heaven

00:35:39

give good gifts to those who ask him!

00:35:43

It's a pretty interesting verse, really.

00:35:45

It says that Jesus is saying that

00:35:49

our Heavenly Father likes to bless you.

00:35:52

Meaning, there's some things you're not going to get

00:35:55

until you ask Him.

00:35:57

It's kind of interesting to say that, right?

00:35:58

I mean, it says something to my kids.

00:36:00

I mean, I've got, by the way, I've got three kids,

00:36:02

I got six grandkids.

00:36:04

I don't advertise that too much because you guys

00:36:06

are going to start thinking I'm really old.

00:36:08

Three kids, six grandkids, and they're all wonderful.

00:36:13

They're all great.

00:36:14

And my kids, at some point you just stop

00:36:16

trying to figure out what they want.

00:36:18

You just ask them, "What do you want?

00:36:19

What do you want for your birthday?"

00:36:20

Because you don't know.

00:36:21

Now they're into the weeds on something in their life,

00:36:24

you can't keep up with it all.

00:36:25

And they're a little, like, six years old,

00:36:27

they don't need to ask.

00:36:28

You go, "I'm going to get you a toy gun,

00:36:29

because you're going to love that.

00:36:31

I'm going to get you this. I'm going to get --"

00:36:33

Some of you, "You got them a toy gun?"

00:36:35

My son, yes. He was making guns out of toast

00:36:38

by the time he was five years old.

00:36:39

And I was like, "It just didn't matter." But you ask.

00:36:44

You ever consider maybe there's some things

00:36:45

God has for you, but you have to ask.

00:36:47

This is what Jesus says.

00:36:49

And He's saying, we know God is good,

00:36:51

but He says even the worst father,

00:36:53

when his son asks for a piece of bread,

00:36:54

I'm not going to give him a stone.

00:36:56

No one's going to give him a poisonous snake.

00:36:58

We've had some parents that have done

00:37:00

some horrible things for us,

00:37:01

but none of them have done that sort of stuff.

00:37:04

Jesus is reminding us this is what a father is.

00:37:08

He's generous. A father wants to bless.

00:37:11

A father is responsive,

00:37:13

not just the good ones here on earth,

00:37:15

but we're that way because

00:37:16

that's how our Heavenly Father is.

00:37:18

Now, on the other side of the perspective,

00:37:21

because all of us are like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey,

00:37:23

yeah, yeah, yeah, a father whose generous, loving.

00:37:25

Give me some more of that. Yum yum."

00:37:27

On the other side, the other perspective

00:37:29

is a dad who disciplines.

00:37:30

Hebrews chapter 12, my son, do not regard --

00:37:35

By the way, when I say, I'm going to say

00:37:37

all these verses have sons.

00:37:38

You know why it has sons instead of

00:37:40

my son and daughter or my child?

00:37:43

You know why the Bible says that in the first century?

00:37:45

It says that because in the first century culture

00:37:48

where it was only the sons got an inheritance,

00:37:54

only the sons did.

00:37:55

And the Bible goes out of its way to say,

00:37:57

when you come to know Christ

00:37:59

and you're in the family of God, whether male or female,

00:38:01

culturally speaking, we're all sons

00:38:03

because we all get the inheritance, male or female.

00:38:06

There's no gender in the eyes of God, so it says in Galatians.

00:38:10

There are neither male nor female, slave nor free,

00:38:14

Jew or Gentile, were all one in Christ, all one.

00:38:17

So ladies, this is meant to be very inclusive for you.

00:38:19

Let's keep going.

00:38:20

My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,

00:38:23

nor be weary when reproved by Him.

00:38:26

For the Lord disciplines the one He loves,

00:38:29

and chastises every son whom he receives."

00:38:32

It is for discipline that you have to endure.

00:38:36

God is treating you as sons.

00:38:37

For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?

00:38:41

If you're left without discipline,

00:38:43

in which all have participated,

00:38:45

then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

00:38:49

Discipline of the Lord. Woo.

00:38:51

This is something we don't, we don't like very much.

00:38:53

In fact, some of us are having a problem with God

00:38:56

right now because we think He's ignoring us.

00:38:58

We think he's making life too hard on us. We think --

00:39:01

And we're getting upset with Him.

00:39:03

You have to open your mind, He might be disciplining you.

00:39:07

And you know who gets disciplined?

00:39:08

People who get love.

00:39:11

You might get some annoying kid on your street

00:39:13

who's not your kid, some annoying kid,

00:39:15

you might vent at them,

00:39:16

but you're not going to discipline them

00:39:18

because it's hard.

00:39:19

It's very, very difficult work. It's hard work.

00:39:23

But this verse says God disciplines His sons,

00:39:26

sons and daughters.

00:39:28

He loves us and He's trying to develop us.

00:39:30

He's trying to mold us.

00:39:32

It's kind of fun to talk about this a little bit

00:39:34

now that my kids are out of my house

00:39:36

and people can't call kids and youth services on me.

00:39:39

But people were aghast at things I would do

00:39:44

as a dad with my kids around because

00:39:46

it was completely against the grain,

00:39:48

totally against the grain.

00:39:50

Like, I'm one of these guys.

00:39:52

Get ready for people to walk out.

00:39:54

I'm one of those guys who spanked my kids.

00:39:58

Now don't clap. Yeah, all the spankers going like,

00:40:01

"I just like to hit things like my hand. That's great."

00:40:06

I'm not going to give a talk on spanking

00:40:08

because it's a long, drawn out process.

00:40:10

Spanking is not venting.

00:40:12

I did it very rarely.

00:40:13

My girls had less than five spankings in their entire life.

00:40:17

I was talking with Lib after the last service.

00:40:19

I guessed it was five.

00:40:21

She said "No, I think Leanna only had one,

00:40:23

only one her whole life." Like, "Maybe."

00:40:28

Jake, my son, had probably less than five.

00:40:31

I said less than ten to be generous,

00:40:33

but it was probably less than five.

00:40:35

Because there's a long drawn out process to do that.

00:40:39

You're not venting, you're not angry

00:40:40

and just like taking them out.

00:40:42

No. There's a level headed,

00:40:43

I'm going to take you through a process

00:40:45

to bolt something into your mind

00:40:47

and form your character so you never do it again.

00:40:50

And it's very difficult.

00:40:52

Example, my daughter, Leanna,

00:40:54

who's community pastor at Eastside, she --

00:40:59

I know, I always know, whatever she tells me is always true

00:41:01

because I know she doesn't lie.

00:41:02

You know how I know she doesn't lie?

00:41:04

Because she got spanked for it once,

00:41:05

and she never has since.

00:41:07

She was a little kid, a little kid,

00:41:09

and we went to a pet store for something,

00:41:10

get dog food or something like that.

00:41:12

And she said, "Daddy, can I pet the fish?"

00:41:14

I said, "No, you cannot pet the fish.

00:41:17

Leave the fish alone."

00:41:18

So I went off trying to find

00:41:19

whatever the cheapest dog food was.

00:41:21

And she came back, came back about ten minutes later.

00:41:24

And there she is in her winter coat,

00:41:27

and it was wet up to her shoulder.

00:41:31

And I said, "Did you pet the fish?"

00:41:33

She goes, "No, I didn't pet." "Yes, you did.

00:41:37

You're getting a spanking when we go home."

00:41:39

And she did, and she did.

00:41:40

And it was a process that brought discipline to her.

00:41:42

And I think she would say, I think all of my kids

00:41:45

would say I have great relationship with my kids.

00:41:47

Phenomenal. Three kids, six grandkids.

00:41:49

They all live within 12 minutes of me.

00:41:51

They all follow Christ. They're all part of our church.

00:41:53

They're all generous. They're all --

00:41:54

I'm deep friends with them. I'll be friends with them.

00:41:57

We're going to hang out all afternoon. It's wonderful.

00:41:59

And it's because, not because I was some great guy.

00:42:02

It's because I tried to do any learning I could

00:42:06

from how God has fathered me.

00:42:08

How can I father them?

00:42:16

I'm not talking today about being a sire.

00:42:20

I'm not talking about impregnating somebody.

00:42:23

I'm talking about taking responsibility for a life.

00:42:27

Saying this life I will hold and I will nurture

00:42:30

and I will develop and I will discipline,

00:42:33

and I will bless, and I will coach,

00:42:35

and I will prod, and I will hug,

00:42:38

and I will vision cast for, and I will cheerlead,

00:42:41

and I'll do that for all of life.

00:42:43

And by the way, you can do this

00:42:46

with somebody who you haven't sired.

00:42:49

You can do this with somebody

00:42:50

who doesn't actually share your own DNA.

00:42:53

There's a powerful thing behind a dad.

00:42:57

It's the reason why some of us have a hard time

00:42:59

seeing God as Father.

00:43:01

It's because of the powerful abuse

00:43:03

and the horrible situation we have with our earthly dad.

00:43:05

We just can't. We can't make that connection.

00:43:07

So we just finds some way to explain it away.

00:43:10

Now, let's not explain it away.

00:43:11

Let's just camp in here.

00:43:12

Let's just recognize, like it or not,

00:43:15

there's a power to a dad. A power.

00:43:20

Fortunately or actually unfortunately, I would say,

00:43:23

generally speaking, women still, mothers still do

00:43:28

more cooking for the children.

00:43:30

Generally speaking, mothers still do more diaper changing.

00:43:33

Mothers still do more waking up

00:43:35

in the middle of the night to feed.

00:43:36

Mothers still do more teachers conference generally.

00:43:39

Mothers still generally do more taxiing.

00:43:41

Mothers generally expend themselves more

00:43:45

with hands on parenting and hands on love.

00:43:48

And I can't tell you how many mothers

00:43:51

over the last, many, many years have said to me,

00:43:53

and despite all that, their father says something

00:43:57

that I've said and it hits them harder than when I say it.

00:44:01

And despite all that, they cling on their father's words

00:44:05

and affirmation more so than mine,

00:44:07

and they don't understand. It's frustrating.

00:44:09

And none of us as dads will understand it.

00:44:12

We don't like this either, because our words

00:44:15

are more powerful than we want them to be.

00:44:17

We're just saying something, and then we've crushed somebody.

00:44:20

We've ticked somebody off.

00:44:21

And what's being happened here is a spiritual truth

00:44:25

in the spiritual realm, it's the power of a father.

00:44:30

And the words from God the Father are like none other.

00:44:33

And there's a word, if you're a dad,

00:44:35

you have to recognize you have a power to your identity,

00:44:40

whether you deserve it or not, to your words,

00:44:43

whether you embrace it or not.

00:44:46

People go to counseling their whole lives

00:44:49

because what their dad did and didn't do,

00:44:51

they don't do that because of what their mom did or didn't do.

00:44:55

And I don't like it, but I have to recognize it

00:44:59

and I have to live according with it.

00:45:01

Second thing, this is the father framework,

00:45:04

and the second thing is that understand

00:45:06

we're also talking about father figures.

00:45:09

You can be a father

00:45:10

even if you've never impregnated somebody.

00:45:13

You can be a father even if you've never

00:45:15

formally adopted somebody as a child.

00:45:18

You can be a father figure any time

00:45:20

you take responsibility for life and you go,

00:45:21

"I'm going to be in that person's life for a long time.

00:45:24

I'm going to be their backstop for a long term."

00:45:26

The Old Testament hero, Esther.

00:45:28

Esther was a Jew, and they were captured by the Persians.

00:45:33

And they basically had a beauty contest.

00:45:35

She wins the beauty contest, in a sense,

00:45:37

and she gets a high ranking position

00:45:39

right close to the king.

00:45:41

As a Jew this is really, really crazy,

00:45:42

but she's beautiful, and God has her beauty

00:45:45

and and she uses it.

00:45:46

And in a key moment, her father figure, Mordecai,

00:45:50

it's her father figure who's coaching her

00:45:52

and has a relationship with her for a long, long time.

00:45:55

Mordecai comes to her and says, "Esther,

00:45:56

you got to say something to the king.

00:45:58

Your people are going to get slaughtered.

00:46:00

Our whole race, he's going to wipe him out

00:46:01

because he's getting bad counsel."

00:46:03

And he says this, "Who knows if you haven't been risen up

00:46:07

for such a time as this right now."

00:46:10

It's the words of a father figure

00:46:12

that spring her into action,

00:46:14

and she puts her neck on the line because

00:46:16

the king could have killed her for asking a request like that.

00:46:19

But he doesn't, and it comes from the father figure.

00:46:23

The Apostle Paul wrote more of the New Testament

00:46:25

or penned more the New Testament, under the inspiration

00:46:27

of the Holy Spirit than any other single person.

00:46:31

The Apostle Paul never had any kids,

00:46:33

at least none that we know of, and yet he was a father.

00:46:36

He was a father figure.

00:46:38

He was a father figure to Timothy.

00:46:40

There's a book in the Bible named Timothy.

00:46:42

And he says this to Timothy:

00:46:43

To Timothy, my true child in the faith.

00:46:48

He was also a father figure to Titus.

00:46:51

And he says to Titus:

00:46:52

Titus, my true child in a common faith.

00:46:56

He's nurturing them. He's molding them.

00:46:59

He's taking care of them. He's protecting them.

00:47:01

He's envisioning for them. He's resourcing them.

00:47:05

These are some of the things that a dad does.

00:47:08

Most powerful person in my life is a father figure.

00:47:11

My dad is amazing. I'm thankful for my dad.

00:47:13

I'm going to be calling him this afternoon.

00:47:15

But there's a father figure who's actually had

00:47:17

a massive, massive impact on my life.

00:47:21

His name is Gil Hopkins.

00:47:23

Gil never had any kids,

00:47:25

never had any kids, but he had children.

00:47:29

It was all the people he fathered.

00:47:31

When I did his funeral, there was guys

00:47:34

from 20-60 years old who were there weeping

00:47:39

because they had lost a father. It still gets me.

00:47:42

It still gets me just talking about him at all.

00:47:44

He just had my back, as only a father would.

00:47:48

There was a season of time here at Crossroads

00:47:50

where people thought it was their job to keep me humble.

00:47:54

They just assumed that if we were doing really well,

00:47:56

then I was getting very, very prideful.

00:47:57

And so they would just always do the jabs

00:47:59

and some of them were really, really sneaky

00:48:01

and would underhandedly slander me behind my back

00:48:05

and try to pull things down.

00:48:06

I'm so glad those days are over.

00:48:08

But it was not a fun time.

00:48:10

I was in a meeting once and some of those people

00:48:12

were in that meeting and Gil.

00:48:14

Gil was -- he was salty. Just trigger warning.

00:48:17

We have two salty words today.

00:48:20

Gil was a -- he was a former cop, former Chicago cop

00:48:25

in, like, this 50s and 60s and all of that meant, right?

00:48:29

Taller guy, but he started shrinking as time went on.

00:48:32

And he, just very interesting guy.

00:48:34

He was in this meeting and he said, "I know some of you,

00:48:38

I know some of you people, you say that

00:48:40

I'm supportive of BT that I,

00:48:42

that I always have his back.

00:48:43

And you know what I say, "You're damn right I do."

00:48:46

He got really loud, "You're damn right I do."

00:48:48

And the room. I was like, hmm.

00:48:52

Good to have someone, like, say that for you

00:48:54

as a father figure, it was really, really meaningful.

00:49:00

Too few people have a father and it hurts us.

00:49:03

I'll come back to Gil in just a moment.

00:49:07

The greatest -- man, let me I'll tell you this.

00:49:10

The greatest role you will ever fulfill in your life

00:49:14

is to be a father. The greatest role.

00:49:18

It's not being a hunter.

00:49:20

It's not being a financial guru.

00:49:22

It's not being a success in X, Y, Z.

00:49:24

It's not being ripped.

00:49:26

No. The greatest role you will ever have is being a father.

00:49:30

It's the most necessitated role in our culture.

00:49:34

Let me tell you something else.

00:49:35

There's no problems with our younger generation.

00:49:37

We all know older people have to crack on the younger.

00:49:39

There are no problem with the younger generation.

00:49:42

There's no problem the younger generation would have

00:49:45

were it not that there's potential father figures

00:49:49

who are phoning it in and only going golfing.

00:49:52

The problems with younger people always stem from

00:49:55

not having a father figure, and that always means

00:49:57

there's somebody out there who could be a father figure,

00:49:59

they're just not choosing to be it.

00:50:01

And generations and culture suffers as a result of it.

00:50:05

When we go and do Go Trips, which many of us have done,

00:50:08

you know the drill.

00:50:09

We want to go and bless people

00:50:10

and help people who are hurting

00:50:12

and work and sweat our noogies off and all that stuff.

00:50:15

And then at the end of it, we go, "Hey, we're in this place,"

00:50:17

wherever it may be, New Orleans or South Africa

00:50:20

or wherever it is.

00:50:22

What's here local that we can kind of enjoy,

00:50:24

blow off some steam, celebrate what God has done

00:50:26

and enjoy each other and just we're at this part

00:50:28

of the world, we ought to take advantage of it.

00:50:30

So when we go to South Africa,

00:50:32

a common thing is to go to the national parks.

00:50:34

The national parks aren't like our national parks,

00:50:36

which are just beautiful places to go look at.

00:50:38

The national parks there, they all look the same.

00:50:39

They're kind of flat. They got the same Africa trees.

00:50:42

But what they got there is lions and tigers and bears.

00:50:48

- Oh my!

00:50:49

- Actually, they don't have bears or tigers,

00:50:51

but they have lions.

00:50:52

They have lions and they have elephants

00:50:55

and they have rhinoceroses and they have water buffalo

00:50:58

and they have gazelle, all these things.

00:50:59

You get in basically a big old thing like this

00:51:02

about, I don't know, four times larger than this

00:51:05

with an open patch and seats.

00:51:07

And you drive around and you see these things

00:51:09

and because you're in a vehicle,

00:51:11

they don't look at you as a threat.

00:51:13

You get out of the vehicle, you die.

00:51:17

The most profound story of those two national parks

00:51:20

that are in South Africa, Kruger National Park

00:51:23

and Pilanes National Park is this.

00:51:25

In Kruger National Park they saw

00:51:28

that their elephant population was down.

00:51:29

They're like, "Everyone's going over Pilanesberg.

00:51:31

They're not coming here because there's not enough.

00:51:33

There's not -- there's not enough elephants."

00:51:35

I tell this story in my book on on manhood.

00:51:38

I'll just retell it here.

00:51:40

And so they said, "Hey, I know,

00:51:43

why don't we go over to Pilanesberg.

00:51:45

And in Pilanesberg they got a lot of elephants.

00:51:47

Why don't we figure out a way to transport

00:51:49

some elephants from Pilanesberg here to Kruger.

00:51:51

And so people keep coming to Kruger

00:51:53

because they want to see the elephants."

00:51:54

And so they said, "Okay, how do we do that?"

00:51:56

Well, they looked at the logistics.

00:51:57

It's kind of hard to get them to get up, walk up on a truck.

00:52:01

And that's kind of a tough ride.

00:52:02

For whatever reason they figure out,

00:52:04

"Hey, let's take them over by helicopter.

00:52:08

Let's put a big strap underneath them.

00:52:10

Let's make a gurney and let's helicopter them over."

00:52:13

So the first one got this big old elephant.

00:52:15

They put him there, they put the thing,

00:52:17

they start lifting up, got a couple feet off the ground

00:52:19

and it broke, and he came crashing down the ground.

00:52:22

Fortunately, I don't think he died.

00:52:23

He just started to get off the ground.

00:52:25

But they realized, "Okay, okay,

00:52:27

it's going to be hard to do these big elephants.

00:52:29

So let's not do the big, let's do the smaller elephants."

00:52:31

So they went out and got smaller elephants.

00:52:33

It worked perfectly, got them up in the air,

00:52:35

got them over to Kruger, dropped them off.

00:52:36

All was happy. The tourists are looking at them.

00:52:38

It's beautiful. Everyone's happy.

00:52:40

And then they find

00:52:41

the white rhinoceroses are starting to die.

00:52:44

And they think it's poachers.

00:52:46

The poachers are killing the white rhinoceroses.

00:52:49

But they look closer and it's not bullet wounds,

00:52:52

it's like spear wounds.

00:52:53

They're going, "Who would spear a white rhinoceros?"

00:52:57

And then they realize, they set up cameras.

00:53:00

They realize it's the elephants.

00:53:03

The elephants are killing the rhinoceros.

00:53:06

Which makes no sense at all,

00:53:07

because elephants don't eat meat.

00:53:10

It's joy killing.

00:53:11

And we've never seen this. Why would they do that?

00:53:14

And someone has a theory of,

00:53:16

"Maybe we got this smaller elephants,

00:53:18

and we got all the adolescents.

00:53:20

And the adolescents are just creating problems,

00:53:22

like smashing mailboxes and stuff like that.

00:53:24

Maybe, maybe, maybe that's what's happened."

00:53:26

They thought, "Maybe. Well, let's try something."

00:53:30

So they go over to Pilanesberg,

00:53:32

they get the same harness, except they beef it up.

00:53:34

They do a hyper industrial strength, a huge mass,

00:53:36

and they start bringing some big boy elephants over.

00:53:38

And they drop the big boy elephants over.

00:53:41

And they're hanging, roaming around.

00:53:42

And one of these young buck adolescent elephants

00:53:46

that thinks that's really cool comes trotting up,

00:53:48

trying to show how cool he is.

00:53:50

And the big boy elephant looks at him, charges him

00:53:54

and knocks him broadside on his back.

00:53:58

And the problem is solved. No more rhinoceroses.

00:54:02

No more rhinoceroses ever get killed

00:54:05

because a father showed up.

00:54:07

Because a father showed up and said, "No, no, no,

00:54:11

we don't do that here. No, no, no, young'un,

00:54:14

I'm not standing for that"

00:54:15

. Men who are mature, we need you to be father figures.

00:54:19

I don't care if you've had kids or not or how many you have,

00:54:22

people need to come under your covering.

00:54:24

They need to come under your potency.

00:54:26

It's the most powerful thing you will ever do with your life.

00:54:30

Do not be deluded by all the people

00:54:32

who are trying to not be dads.

00:54:33

Do not be deluded by the people

00:54:35

who don't want to get married.

00:54:36

Do not be deluded by all the people

00:54:37

who don't want to have kids,

00:54:39

want to put her off as long as possible.

00:54:40

Do not be diluted by the people

00:54:42

who don't want to take responsibility for a life

00:54:43

and just want to have their hobbies.

00:54:45

Do not be deluded to think that their life

00:54:47

is the sum of their net worth.

00:54:49

No. Your life is the sum of the people

00:54:51

you bless and build into and cover.

00:54:54

That's what a dad does.

00:55:01

And for you to take that call on your life,

00:55:03

you're going to have to stand firm

00:55:04

because nothing in culture is ever going to support that.

00:55:08

Everything culture is going to belittle you,

00:55:10

show you as a loser.

00:55:11

How many good, positive father figures

00:55:13

have you seen in Hollywood? Not a lot.

00:55:17

This is a big thing, not just for us as a culture,

00:55:21

not just for people, but it's a big thing for you.

00:55:24

It's a calling you need to stand firm in and step into.

00:55:28

Third thing is, the final thing is that fathers finish.

00:55:32

When's the work for dad done, right?

00:55:35

It feels like it's going to be done

00:55:36

when they're out of diapers. It's not.

00:55:38

It's going to be done when they graduate from high school.

00:55:40

It's not. Done when they get married, right?

00:55:42

No, it's not.

00:55:44

Going to be done when they get their first job, right?

00:55:46

No, no, no, it's not. It never, never ever, ever ends.

00:55:51

The worst job I did as a parent, and I've confessed this

00:55:54

to her a number of times, is my youngest daughter, Moriah.

00:56:00

Lena, Jake, two years apart and then five years.

00:56:03

We started Crossroads about a year and a half,

00:56:05

two years after Jake was born.

00:56:07

And so we're, like, "Man, we can't --

00:56:08

We can't take on a church and more of our family.

00:56:11

Let's pause that for a little bit."

00:56:13

So we had Moriah five years later

00:56:15

and it was a huge mistake, actually huge mistake.

00:56:18

Because -- not her, she was an unbelievable blessing,

00:56:24

is an unbelievable blessing.

00:56:26

It was a huge mistake because what do you think happens

00:56:29

when you're in diaper mode for like four years solid,

00:56:32

three years, and then all of a sudden you're not?

00:56:34

What do you think it's like when you're in

00:56:35

reading book mode going up and little kids going,

00:56:39

"Daddy, read me a chapter." "Okay, okay, one more chapter,"

00:56:41

As you're putting them to bed.

00:56:42

And then you have a five year break

00:56:45

and you got to restart those engines again.

00:56:48

It was hard. It was really difficult.

00:56:50

She got the least of me in those ages.

00:56:53

She says, "Daddy, read another chapter."

00:56:54

"No, no, you need to sleep.

00:56:56

You need to sleep, need to sleep.

00:56:58

You just, you know, you got to get eight hours.

00:57:00

Honey, I can't. I got to be --

00:57:02

It'd be irresponsible for me as a dad

00:57:04

to give more time to reading you right now.

00:57:06

I can't. I can't do that."

00:57:09

2 Timothy 4:7, Paul, the apostle Paul says

00:57:13

to all of us who'd be father figures:

00:57:15

I fought the good fight, I finished the race.

00:57:18

I have kept the faith.

00:57:20

Finished the race. When do I finish as a father?

00:57:26

I've come to conclude that I don't finish.

00:57:29

All of us want dad standing on point.

00:57:32

I don't care if you're 60 years old,

00:57:34

you want to feel like you have a backstop.

00:57:36

You want to feel like somebody thinks about you.

00:57:38

You want to feel like somebody is praying for you daily,

00:57:42

that somebody else feels vested interest in your success,

00:57:46

is going to the Heavenly Father

00:57:47

and mentioning you by name every day.

00:57:49

Everybody wants that. So our work is never done.

00:57:52

But certain parts of the work are done, right?

00:57:54

You get done with diapers, you get done with this,

00:57:56

you get done with that. But when does the work end?

00:58:00

It's hard work. And guess what?

00:58:02

You know what spiritual growth is?

00:58:04

Spiritual growth is being like God,

00:58:06

that's what spiritual growth is all about.

00:58:08

It's not like, "Well, I want to have ethereal feelings.

00:58:10

Woo, woo, I want to have visions.

00:58:12

Woo, I want to have miraculous things happen."

00:58:15

Those things may all happen, but spiritual growth

00:58:17

is only one thing: being like God, being like Jesus,

00:58:23

that's what it is. You know what He's like?

00:58:25

Well, Jesus tells us in John 5:17, He says:

00:58:29

My Father is always at work up the present time.

00:58:33

And I too am work.

00:58:35

What's God doing right now? He's working right now.

00:58:38

That's what he's doing. He's working right now.

00:58:40

I don't know what exactly He's doing,

00:58:42

but it's working right now.

00:58:43

So as a dad, it's a hard life.

00:58:46

That's why people don't want it.

00:58:48

It's a fight. You work. There's no days off.

00:58:52

And when you check out, there's often consequences.

00:58:55

Which is why everyone wants to shirk that possibility.

00:58:58

But man, is it beautiful. Man, is it rich.

00:59:02

Who is going to care about my hunting exploits when I'm gone?

00:59:05

Nobody.

00:59:07

Who's going to care about your degrees on your wall?

00:59:10

Nobody. No one cares right now, sorry to tell you.

00:59:12

No one. No one cares.

00:59:14

Who's going to care about the digits in your bank account?

00:59:17

Nobody cares about it.

00:59:18

They're going to get it and they're going to spend it all.

00:59:20

And you're going to say,

00:59:21

"I'm going to make a name for myself.

00:59:23

I'm going to give it to this nonprofit."

00:59:24

They're not going to care for you

00:59:26

5 years when you're gone either.

00:59:27

You are not -- the only way you're going to last,

00:59:31

the only way you're going to have lasting impact

00:59:33

is to have kids. That's the only way. It's the only way.

00:59:36

You want to have a long lasting legacy,

00:59:39

have a life that you take responsibility for,

00:59:42

have a life that you build.

00:59:43

Leave the world a better place than it was when you came here,

00:59:46

because you're not leaving with multiple people

00:59:48

who are further along than you are.

00:59:50

That's what a dad does. It's who we are.

00:59:53

And it never ends, just the task of the day ends.

00:59:57

As I was coming down to -- as I was getting close

01:00:00

to being done with this, I had in my sights,

01:00:03

"Here's what my next vehicle is going to be."

01:00:05

So I called my friend Petey,

01:00:08

who's helped me understand how to paint things.

01:00:09

I never knew how to do automotive paint before.

01:00:11

And Petey, I said, "Hey, man,

01:00:13

why don't you come take a look at this project?

01:00:15

I want to get your ideas."

01:00:17

He said, "Nope, not going to do it."

01:00:19

I said, "Why?"

01:00:20

He said, "Uh, because you're not done with the Jeep.

01:00:23

Don't ever start something

01:00:25

before you finish what you started."

01:00:27

And he wasn't really right.

01:00:29

He was right in the concept, but I was -- I was done.

01:00:32

Although a Jeep is never done.

01:00:37

The fuel pump is out right now,

01:00:39

so I can't even drive this right now.

01:00:41

I have to replace the fuel pump.

01:00:42

It was driving one day. It was. It's never done.

01:00:45

But Petey was right. He was saying,

01:00:46

"Hey, don't start something

01:00:48

until you're done with the last thing."

01:00:49

How many of us go to Home Depot

01:00:51

to try to finish up a project?

01:00:52

We go to Home Depot to buy our stuff,

01:00:54

and on our way out we go, "Oh, I need that.

01:00:56

Oh, that reminds me, I have that other project."

01:00:59

And we end up buying more crap for some other project

01:01:02

and we delude ourselves into thinking that,

01:01:04

"Oh, if I'm buying things, I'm doing things."

01:01:06

No, you're just buying things.

01:01:09

How about finishing what you actually came there to start?

01:01:13

So as a dad, there's always something we have to do

01:01:17

and we have to finish it.

01:01:19

The diapers may stop, but the encouragement never stops.

01:01:24

You know? The discipline may stop,

01:01:28

but the counsel, appropriately given and when wanted

01:01:32

never, never stops.

01:01:36

And God's not finished with you right now.

01:01:38

He's still fathering you and I right now.

01:01:41

He'll get it done. Philippians 1:6 says:

01:01:42

He who began a good work in you

01:01:45

will be faithful to complete it.

01:01:47

So He's still working on us.

01:01:49

And just like I with my kids who are in their 20s and 30s,

01:01:53

I'm still working on them.

01:01:56

I mentioned Gil earlier, did his funeral 13 years ago.

01:02:02

And he had such a profound impact on me

01:02:05

and other guys he intentionally chose to father,

01:02:08

having never had his -- he and Joann never

01:02:10

had their own DNA kids or never adopted kids.

01:02:16

And he was such an inspiration.

01:02:18

This guy, he obviously was a force of nature at one point.

01:02:20

He was, I think in his prime he was probably

01:02:23

six five or something like that,

01:02:24

and he had shriveled down to about, I don't know,

01:02:27

maybe five eleven in the latter part of his life.

01:02:31

Just things compress, right?

01:02:33

But man, the vigor he had was astounding.

01:02:36

He had this plaque on his cubicle.

01:02:42

He worked here at Crossroads overseeing our facility.

01:02:47

At the end, he didn't get paid anything for it,

01:02:49

but he oversaw our facility, and he had this little scooter.

01:02:51

He'd kind of go around on the scooter

01:02:53

as his legs were starting to fail him,

01:02:55

all his joints were replaced and stuff.

01:02:57

But he had this unbelievable energy

01:02:58

and he had this zeal, like, you go, like,

01:03:00

"Why are you here?" Some people are like, "Why are you here?

01:03:03

Why aren't you golfing every day?

01:03:05

Or why aren't you playing bingo or something like that?"

01:03:09

But he was here because he wanted a father people.

01:03:11

He wanted to have a lasting legacy.

01:03:14

And on his cubicle he had this plaque that was his motivation.

01:03:21

And there's a bunch of different versions of it

01:03:23

that are out there.

01:03:24

I don't know who came up with it originally,

01:03:26

but here was his version, and let me just read it to you.

01:03:30

This life ain't about playing it safe or staying clean.

01:03:33

It's about charging hard,

01:03:35

getting scarred up for the kingdom

01:03:37

and sliding into heaven, worn out, mud on your face,

01:03:39

blood on your knuckles and fire in your bones,

01:03:42

shouting, "Holy shit, Lord, what a ride."

01:03:52

That's what dads do. That's what moms do.

01:03:56

That's what everybody does who wants to have a life.

01:03:59

It's a fight. It's hard. It's difficult.

01:04:03

Everything of significance is hard and difficult

01:04:06

and that's why fewer and fewer people

01:04:08

are stepping up towardr it.

01:04:10

And they're deluded.

01:04:11

Don't allow the deluding influence of culture

01:04:14

dumb you down into having a life that's void of meaning

01:04:17

and void of building into a life,

01:04:19

taking responsibility for life and nurturing our life.

01:04:24

Because guess what? You're meant to be like God

01:04:26

and God's still doing that with you and I, thank God.

01:04:39

If you're wanting to draw your line in the sand

01:04:44

and just go, "I'm done just being like other guys

01:04:48

who do guy things.

01:04:50

I want to be a father figure. And this is just a marker.

01:04:55

I'm going to be a father. I'm embracing that.

01:04:57

I'm embracing that fight."

01:04:59

Let's pray. God, I am so thankful, Father,

01:05:02

that You're a great Father to me.

01:05:04

I haven't understood everything You've done in my life,

01:05:06

in the moment I haven't liked

01:05:07

everything You've done in my life.

01:05:09

I haven't liked everything You've allowed to happen to me,

01:05:12

but man, as the Bible says, the boundary lines

01:05:15

have fallen from me in pleasant places.

01:05:17

You have been good to me.

01:05:18

You're a good, good Father, and I want to be more like You.

01:05:26

And I want to have the kind of influence

01:05:28

on the people in my sphere

01:05:29

that You've had on me and so many others.

01:05:32

So, God take us. We're sorry for our impurities.

01:05:35

We're sorry for our mistakes.

01:05:37

We're sorry for just having our eye off the ball.

01:05:39

But we're making a decision today to be different.

01:05:44

I want any guy, any guy in the room

01:05:47

that wants to be a father figure,

01:05:48

I want you to stand right now.

01:05:50

Any guy in the room, all of our rooms.

01:05:51

You want to be a father figure, I want you to stand right now.

01:05:54

If you don't want to, great, stay seating.

01:05:58

I'll put a prayer for you.

01:06:00

God, look at these men in all these rooms.

01:06:02

Look at these men.

01:06:03

Look at these potential fathers

01:06:06

who can bless the young bulls,

01:06:08

who can bless the young bucks.

01:06:09

I ask that You put Your Spirit on them in a unique way.

01:06:12

I pray for grace on them.

01:06:13

I pray for forgiveness on them.

01:06:16

That they would stop reliving the ways

01:06:17

that they dropped the ball and beat themselves up.

01:06:20

I pray that you would give them redemptive times of healing,

01:06:23

if they have actual kids.

01:06:24

And I pray You'd bring the right future children to them,

01:06:27

for them to father figure and to fight for.

01:06:31

Restore this generation, I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

01:06:35

- Man, that prayer was so good. - Wow.

01:06:38

- And I want you to know, like,

01:06:40

in case you're tempted to believe that prayer

01:06:42

was for people just in this room.

01:06:43

No, that was for you.

01:06:46

We say this all the time around here, all the time,

01:06:49

but we are not just content.

01:06:50

We're not just something to watch.

01:06:51

We are truly a community that you can belong to.

01:06:53

So if anything jumped out with you in Brian's prayer

01:06:56

or in his message or your own story with your own father,

01:06:59

we'd love to talk with you, process with you

01:07:01

or pray with you.

01:07:03

You can do that just by chatting in.

01:07:05

- Yeah. Crossroads.net, hit the chat button

01:07:07

or text Anywhere to 301301

01:07:10

and we can start that conversation with you.

01:07:11

- That's right. Actually a really great way

01:07:14

for you to connect with the broader community

01:07:16

and movement of Crossroads is through

01:07:18

what we call Anywhere Home.

01:07:19

It's kind of like our own Crossroads specific

01:07:21

social platform where people pray for one another,

01:07:24

get to know each other, find people local to them,

01:07:26

trainings, groups, places where people can hang out

01:07:29

and get to know each other. It's awesome.

01:07:31

- Yeah. And again, don't miss the Summer Hangouts

01:07:34

because that's a great way to get with real people

01:07:36

in backyards and coffee shops, rooftops,

01:07:39

maybe even slip and slides. No promises. Hopefully.

01:07:43

- Hopefully. Yeah. Guys, thank you so much for joining us,

01:07:45

for being a part of the movement that is Crossroads.

01:07:48

So good to have you.

01:07:49

- We'll see you next week.

How to Fight Back

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