Expectation vs Reality | Spark Talks Week 5

We had high hopes for 2020. Even when the pandemic hit, we thought: “I’ll use this time to get organized, write a book, and learn how to play violin.” Instead, we’re experiencing loneliness, hopelessness, and negativity. Today we talk about how small, everyday decisions lead to an abundant life with God.

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    We've all been forced to pause, reset
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    and reclaim our futures in light of the chaos of 2020.
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    There's always darkness and adventure
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    when you're not sure where you're going.
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    Join us for Crossroads Weekend Spark Talks
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    and hear from people who will challenge you
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    with new ideas to ignite your life.
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    - Welcome to Crossroads, I'm Chuck Mingo,
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    one of the teaching partners at Crossroads Church.
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    Hey, we're in this series called Spark Talks
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    because you know what, 2020 has been crazy.
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    And in the midst of it, people are talking
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    about how God is still working in their life
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    amidst all the change.
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    We think you're going to be inspired and encouraged.
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    We're so glad you've joined us today.
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    Let's get started.
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    - Hi, everybody, my name is Todd Henry,
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    I am a speaker and an author, and I know about you,
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    but I want to be the kind of person who does brave things.
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    But it's funny how when all of the things
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    that have been propping you up are removed,
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    you suddenly realize where you're placing your trust.
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    So the week before the pandemic hit, I just come back
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    from a trip where I'd spoken at three large conferences
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    for huge numbers of people.
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    I was just wrapping up my fifth book with Penguin Random House,
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    which is coming out in October called The Motivation Code.
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    And I was super excited about that book and all that was in store.
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    I was building a new business with several business partners.
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    Frankly, I think my exact words were, "Man, I'm exhausted,
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    but 2020 is going to be awesome."
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    Does that sound familiar?
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    So when news of the pandemic shutdown first happened,
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    we thought, you know what,
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    we're going to be able to reclaim this time
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    to do all the things we always wanted to do,
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    like learn how to play violin,
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    read the entire Bible a couple of times,
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    plant a vineyard in our backyard, right?
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    Actually, no, we didn't do any of those things.
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    We binge watch Tiger King.
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    We organized a little bit and we watched
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    the entire 87 hour extended director cut of Lord of the Rings.
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    That's really what we did with our time.
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    So that was Monday.
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    By Wednesday we realized this thing was going to last for a while.
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    And as we settled in to the shutdown,
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    we realized this wasn't going to just be a couple of weeks
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    It was actually going to be a much longer period of time.
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    And we also started realizing some of the things
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    we had worked so hard for and really look forward to
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    were now going to be taken away.
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    Like, for example, our kids had worked so hard
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    on spring sports and now those were just gone in an instant,
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    No track, no spring musical.
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    None of the things that we look forward to,
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    the things that we typically use to mark our time,
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    we're all gone in an instant.
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    I mean, the second thing is our close friendships
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    in our neighborhood, the people we love spending time with,
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    all of a sudden we're being told stay away from them
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    and don't go near them, don't be around them.
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    Which is really hard, especially because we love --
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    we love our community. We love our neighborhood.
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    We love all of our friends.
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    And so all of a sudden we're being told to stay away,
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    which is really, really hard.
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    And then finally and probably most urgently,
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    my business was completely shut down.
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    "So I went from this is incredible.
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    This is going to be the best year ever,
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    speaking to all these cities.
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    I've got a book coming out, got a business launching."
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    All of a sudden it's like the pandemic shut all of that down.
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    I don't know if you heard the part about me
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    speaking to multiple audiences,
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    but there are a lot of live events happening right now.
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    So all of a sudden all of that was gone in an instant.
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    So as part of my research for my book, The Motivation Code,
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    one of the topics I was exploring is the topic of bravery.
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    Why is it the two different people can encounter
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    the exact same circumstance and one of them chooses
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    the brave option and the other person chooses the cowardly option?
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    What is it that exists that causes those two people to diverge?
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    Regardless of where you were before this pandemic,
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    we've all been thrust into the exact same circumstances.
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    And what I discovered is that for bravery to exist,
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    two things have to be present.
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    First, there has to be a sense of agency,
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    a sense that I can act in a meaningful way
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    to bring about a better possible future.
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    Without that sense of agency, bravery can't exist.
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    The second thing that has to exist is a sense of optimism.
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    That by my action, I could actually make something better.
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    I believe there is a better possible future that exists.
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    So not only do I believe that there's a better possible future,
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    but I can actually act in a way
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    that could bring about that better possible future.
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    Bravery exists when I believe there's a better possible future
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    and I believe that I can act in some meaningful way
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    to help bring that future about.
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    We tend to think about bravery in terms of bravado.
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    We conflate bravery and bravado.
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    We think that bravery is about the big things,
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    storming beaches, launching big businesses. Right?
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    That's how we tend to think about bravery.
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    But the reality is most of the bravery
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    that we experience in our daily life
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    is the result of small, everyday choices,
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    small, everyday acts of bravery.
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    And I believe as followers of Jesus, we are to follow His model.
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    If anybody modeled small, everyday acts of bravery, it's Jesus.
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    That's what we're called to, to follow in His footsteps.
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    I believe that God's planted in each of us the ability,
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    not only the ability, but the mandate,
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    the calling to engage in these everyday acts of bravery.
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    But here's the problem, the problem is
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    we have an enemy that's working against us.
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    And our enemy wants to rob us of our ability to act bravely.
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    As a matter of fact, Jesus describes this enemy as a thief.
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    In John 10, He says:
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    Steal, kill, and destroy. Deception, death, destruction.
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    You see, the enemy only has a couple of tools.
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    The enemy doesn't make new things.
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    The enemy only destroys the things that God's already made good.
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    That's what the enemy does.
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    Well, what does the enemy want to steal from us?
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    What is the enemy robbing us of?
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    The enemy wants to rob us of our agency,
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    of our sense that we can act to create good in the world.
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    The enemy wants to rob us of our sense of optimism,
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    that there is a better possible future that exists.
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    That is what the enemy is wanting to steal from us.
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    And the enemy is having a field day right now
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    in all of the things that are happening in our culture.
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    So let's talk about agency first.
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    How is the enemy robbing us of our agency?
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    I don't know about you, but this pandemic
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    has made me feel kind of helpless.
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    I see politicians arguing on both sides of the aisle
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    and spinning this pandemic to their own political advantage.
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    And all of us are just caught in the middle
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    of watching these arguments play out between both sides,
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    that it feels very hopeless to me. Right?
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    What can I do in the midst of that?
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    I believe the enemy is trying to play out this narrative
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    right now in our culture that you're helpless,
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    there's nothing you can do.
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    You're just caught in the wind.
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    That's that's all you are.
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    But here's the thing, I believe that
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    as a follower of Jesus, my agency doesn't come from my business.
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    My agency doesn't come from the economy.
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    My agency doesn't come from the government.
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    My agency doesn't come from any of the things that I can do.
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    My agency comes from the fact that Jesus calls me a brother,
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    and that means I'm a child of the King.
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    That is where my agency comes from.
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    And I am called to follow in the model of Jesus.
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    And so my amazing wife has introduced a mantra
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    during this season for our family.
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    And that mantra is: we can do hard things.
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    It's OK, we can do hard things.
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    Yeah, it sucks right now. That's OK.
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    We can do hard things.
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    That's a way that we can reclaim our agency
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    and recognize, listen, doing the hard things
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    is just a part of following Jesus.
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    That's what we're called to, it's OK.
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    So that's agency.
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    Let's talk about how the enemy's robbing us
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    of our optimism right now.
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    I think pre-pandemic, I didn't realize
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    how much my hope was placed in things I was doing,
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    things I was building, the future that I was building.
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    I think if you would ask me, I think I would have said,
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    "No. My my trust is in God. My hope is in God.
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    My trust is in the kingdom of God."
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    But I think really deep down, when you really picked at that,
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    there were a lot of things I was putting my hope in,
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    my trust in that really were not the Kingdom.
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    It's funny how you suddenly understand
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    where your trust really is when all of the things
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    that have been propping you up are taken away.
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    And you have to ask the question, where do I really put my trust?
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    My trust is not in my government.
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    My trust is not in a document that was written
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    a couple of hundred years ago to form a country.
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    My trust is not in an economy.
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    My trust isn't in a business I'm building.
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    It's not even my own talents.
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    My trust is in God.
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    And I believe that God is bending the story
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    towards peace and justice in the end.
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    So whatever is happening in front of me,
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    this is just a little sliver, a little sliver
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    compared to the giant story that God is weaving.
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    God is going to bend all of this in the end
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    toward peace and justice.
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    And that's where I need to put my sense of hope,
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    my sense of optimism.
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    If we just look at this little sliver in front of us,
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    we're going to lose hope quickly.
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    It's not about that.
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    It's about the ultimate story that God is weaving.
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    As a follower of Jesus, that's where I put my trust.
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    And so the other monster that my amazing wife
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    has introduced to our family is: and this will end.
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    And this will end.
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    Whatever we're going through, this will end.
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    So we can do hard things and this will end.
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    That's become our family's mantra over the last handful of months.
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    So, you know, I'm really grateful that we ended up
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    having the time to watch the 75,000 hour version
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    of Lord of the Rings that we watched
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    over the course of this pandemic, because
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    one of my favorite scenes from that trilogy
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    is the scene where Frodo is kind of lamenting
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    all the stuff is happening.
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    And Frodo says, "I wish the ring had never come to me.
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    I wish that none of this had ever happened."
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    And Gandalf, his mentor and The Great Wizard, said,
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    "So do all to whom such times come.
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    Ours is to decide what to do with the times that we are given."
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    So on the other side of all of this, and by the way,
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    there will be an other side of all of this.
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    We're going to look back and we're going to ask,
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    how did I use the pandemic?
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    How did I use the time I was given?
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    And I'll tell you what the enemy wants to do with this time.
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    The enemy wants to use this time to steal, kill, and destroy.
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    The enemy, wants to rob you of your sense of agency
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    and your sense of optimism so that you can't act bravely
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    during this time.
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    But I'll tell you what Jesus wants to do with this time.
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    Jesus wants to use this time to teach you
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    what abundant life looks like.
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    And what does abundant life look like?
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    Well, abundant life begins when we choose
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    to engage in small, everyday acts of bravery.
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    Be brave friends.
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    - My name is Teresa Tanner, and some know me
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    as the chief administrative officer for Fifth Third Bank.
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    I spent about 10 years in the C suite of Fifth Third Bank
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    running a variety of different corporate functions
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    and leading thousands.
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    I'm also a mom.
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    I go to Crossroads.
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    I'm a wife.
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    I have two great kids.
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    And my favorite title, only two years, is Nana.
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    You know, this is definitely not what I expected this year.
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    As a matter of fact, I expected this year to be epic.
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    For years God has been telling me about this year.
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    And so when I thought about 2020,
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    I expected something very, very different.
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    And let me tell you why.
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    A couple of years ago, 2018, I turned 50 years old
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    and I knew for a long time when I turned 50,
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    I was going to go away for a week,
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    have a silent retreat all by myself.
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    And I was just going to to listen to God.
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    I was going to do some inner reflection
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    and I was going to figure out,
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    you know, am I still on the right path?
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    Because being in a C suite of a Fortune 500 company,
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    that's a fast lane.
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    It's like you are on that treadmill and you are booking.
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    And it's really easy just to get swept up.
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    And then the days turn into weeks that turn into months,
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    that turn into years, and I didn't want that to happen.
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    And so 50 seemed like a good halfway point to kind of stop and pause.
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    But I could have never anticipated how much chaos
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    was going to be in my life in that fiftieth year.
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    Things were not going well.
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    I was stressed at work.
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    My health wasn't that great.
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    I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating well.
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    And to be honest with you, I really didn't have
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    a posture of listening well to God during that time.
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    As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks
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    before I went away on my trip, I was sitting at Crossroads
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    and it was one of those moments we've all had
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    where we felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking just to us.
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    Everybody else in the room could just tune out
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    because that day was all about us.
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    But instead of feeling convicted, I felt defensive.
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    I remember Brian, he's up there and he's preaching it,
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    but I didn't want to hear it.
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    As a matter of fact, the more he talked, the angrier I got.
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    And then there was this verse he kept on putting it on the screen.
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    And every time I saw it,
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    I just felt myself tense up a little bit.
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    And I just put that hand up and I said, nope, nope, nope.
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    Not really. I didn't really put my hand up,
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    but that's how I felt.
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    I was like, "No, no, no, I'm not listening to that, God.
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    You need to hear my point of view on this."
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    So anyway, that service was over.
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    A couple of weeks later, I go on my trip.
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    I go to the hotel, I check in, I open the door.
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    You know, the first thing I saw
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    when I opened up the door to my hotel room?
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    On the wall in this beautiful frame was that same verse.
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    He was a same flipping verse that Brian had on the screen.
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    It was the one I was saying, "No, God,
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    I don't want to hear that verse right now.
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    I'd like to pick another verse that plays into my own intentions."
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    Now, I'm not going to tell you what that verse is,
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    because that's a whole different story.
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    But that verse, I couldn't believe was on the wall.
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    First of all, let me say the obvious,
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    who decorates a hotel room with Bible verse art in 2018?
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    I was stunned.
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    I sat on the bed and shook my head.
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    And I'm trying to process like, really>
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    Like why is that verse on the wall?
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    I even picked up my phone.
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    I go to the Internet, I look at that hotel.
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    And I'm like, "Did I miss something?
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    Did I accidentally book a Christian retreat center?
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    That's not what I was looking for.
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    I was really looking for a good spot."
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    God spoke to me over and over again that way
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    in miraculous, in very clear ways,
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    more clear than I ever heard Him speak to me.
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    More clear than He's ever spoken in my life before or since.
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    And when I left, I had a lot of clarity about
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    what God wanted from me in several different areas of my life.
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    And I'd like to say I obeyed on all of them right away,
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    but I didn't.
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    Some I did, some immediately, as soon as I got back,
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    I obeyed and I started to see the fruit of that obedience.
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    But there was one thing I was holding out on
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    and it was that treadmill of work.
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    I had worked really hard to get into the C suite.
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    How many women get into the C suite of Fortune 500 companies?
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    Not many, about 20%, that's it.
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    So I knew I was really fortunate
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    and I had worked that hard to get there and I loved my job.
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    And so I kept negotiating with God.
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    I kept kept talking to Him about why I shouldn't leave.
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    And there were some some great things about leaving
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    and some things that were really, really scary.
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    But finally, last year, the middle of the year,
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    around June, I knew that I had to leave
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    and I knew that God was saying, "Leave now."
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    And it was so clear to me that I knew not moving
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    would be an active act of disobedience,
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    so I moved and I left.
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    And it was scary at first, but I got to tell you,
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    as soon as it -- as soon as it happened, I felt this joy.
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    I felt this release. I felt this peace.
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    I was so excited and I just knew,
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    "God, you've prepared me for this.
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    And you have placed something in my heart
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    that I know you want me to do."
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    And the mission, the work that He's placed deep inside me
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    is lifting others.
  • 00:16:08
    It's about me having an opportunity
  • 00:16:11
    to leverage my corporate experience and lift others.
  • 00:16:14
    And specifically, what God has spoken in to me
  • 00:16:17
    is a love for women and a love to lift women
  • 00:16:20
    and support women and help them become
  • 00:16:23
    the person that Jesus intended them to be.
  • 00:16:26
    And so I was excited.
  • 00:16:28
    You know, I immediately got back up on that treadmill,
  • 00:16:31
    because that's what I do, I run hard.
  • 00:16:33
    And I just got to work, rolled my sleeves up.
  • 00:16:36
    I got to work. And I was running and I was running.
  • 00:16:39
    And I'm like, "Thank you, Jesus."
  • 00:16:40
    I started like, you know, I was going to --
  • 00:16:43
    I was going to have the start up
  • 00:16:44
    and I was going to have this company
  • 00:16:45
    and it was going to be about empowering women
  • 00:16:47
    and lifting women and helping organizations
  • 00:16:50
    fix the systemic issues.
  • 00:16:52
    And so I'm running.
  • 00:16:53
    Well, have you ever been running on a treadmill
  • 00:16:56
    and you're going at a good clip and you look down
  • 00:16:58
    and you see that little red key and it's that emergency key
  • 00:17:01
    for like when you're having a heart attack.
  • 00:17:03
    But have you ever thought, "Huh, I wonder
  • 00:17:05
    if I'm running really fast and I pull that key what will happen?"
  • 00:17:09
    I have and I did it, and let me tell you, it's not pretty.
  • 00:17:13
    Because you're running and then you pull that key
  • 00:17:16
    and you get like flung off.
  • 00:17:18
    It's not a slow stop. It's an abrupt stop.
  • 00:17:22
    Well, you know what?
  • 00:17:23
    That's kind of how I felt about 90 days after I left.
  • 00:17:28
    90 days after I left on this path that God put me on,
  • 00:17:32
    this mission He had set me on, I got flung off the treadmill.
  • 00:17:38
    And that was in the form of breast cancer.
  • 00:17:41
    And I had no idea why this was happening.
  • 00:17:44
    And my first response, I have to admit was, "God, why?
  • 00:17:47
    What are You doing? You put me on this path, this mission.
  • 00:17:51
    I don't even have risk factors for breast cancer.
  • 00:17:54
    How did I get breast cancer?
  • 00:17:56
    And what are you trying to do here?"
  • 00:17:58
    Thankfully, that only lasted for a day or two,
  • 00:18:02
    because I had learned God has a purpose.
  • 00:18:05
    So I said, "All right, God, what do You want me to learn?
  • 00:18:07
    What do You want me to see?
  • 00:18:09
    What do You want to teach me?"
  • 00:18:10
    And He did. There was so many things.
  • 00:18:13
    I had this heart for women.
  • 00:18:14
    I had this heart for women being successful at work
  • 00:18:18
    and balancing work and life,
  • 00:18:19
    and specifically when they have to step off a career track.
  • 00:18:22
    And here I was working and and being in therapy with these women,
  • 00:18:26
    and I'm learning that they're losing their jobs.
  • 00:18:31
    They're scared about how to go back to work.
  • 00:18:34
    I see this huge issue that I never saw before.
  • 00:18:39
    And so, you know, I soak it in, I'm like, "OK, God,
  • 00:18:43
    I'm seeing things that I think You want me to see."
  • 00:18:46
    Now, thankfully, my breast cancer was caught early,
  • 00:18:49
    surgery, radiation, no big deal.
  • 00:18:52
    The doctor said, "Get back on that treadmill.
  • 00:18:54
    You shouldn't have to worry about anything."
  • 00:18:56
    So I say, "Thank you, God, for healing me."
  • 00:18:58
    And I get back on that treadmill and I'm like,
  • 00:19:00
    "OK, I got it now.
  • 00:19:01
    You've shown me so many things.
  • 00:19:03
    I've got more more tools in my tool belt."
  • 00:19:05
    I'm running, I'm running, I'm running.
  • 00:19:07
    And you know what?
  • 00:19:09
    90 days later, again, I get flung off the treadmill
  • 00:19:14
    and this time it's COVID. It's this pandemic.
  • 00:19:19
    I'm like, "Oh, my goodness, I can't believe this.
  • 00:19:22
    I'm trying, God, I'm trying to do Your work.
  • 00:19:24
    I'm trying to run on this mission that You've placed in my heart
  • 00:19:29
    and I'm flung off again.
  • 00:19:31
    All right. What do you want to teach me?"
  • 00:19:33
    And all of a sudden my eyes are open.
  • 00:19:36
    He's lifting the veil. He's opening the curtains.
  • 00:19:39
    And I'm seeing, wow, this pandemic is highlighting
  • 00:19:46
    challenges that women have that I never saw.
  • 00:19:49
    Work life balance, oh, it's taken on
  • 00:19:51
    a whole different meaning during this pandemic.
  • 00:19:53
    We're seeing the weaknesses in our infrastructure
  • 00:19:56
    and systems that we didn't know existed.
  • 00:19:59
    "All right. God, thank you."
  • 00:20:01
    "I need you to quit, Teresa, working around the margins
  • 00:20:05
    on these issues.
  • 00:20:06
    In corporate America, you were known for adding some pieces
  • 00:20:10
    and trying to tweak the game a little bit."
  • 00:20:13
    But I've heard God saying to me this year is,
  • 00:20:16
    "Do the work, the quit working around the margins.
  • 00:20:19
    Quit trying to tweak a game that was never designed
  • 00:20:23
    for everybody to play."
  • 00:20:25
    We have to build a new game.
  • 00:20:28
    The structures, the systemic issues that we have in place,
  • 00:20:32
    we can't tweak them anymore.
  • 00:20:34
    We have to build new systems.
  • 00:20:36
    We have to build new games, and God knows how to do this.
  • 00:20:41
    God is the master of creating the game that works.
  • 00:20:46
    And so I want to be part of that game.
  • 00:20:48
    I want to be part of building a new game.
  • 00:20:51
    I don't want to be tweaking at the margins anymore.
  • 00:20:53
    So, God, I'm all in, game on.
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    - Whether you've been around Crossroads for a long time
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    that includes surrendering our money.
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  • 00:22:11
    - I'm here with Teresa Tanner.
  • 00:22:13
    She's been in corporate America.
  • 00:22:15
    She's an award winning banker in corporate America.
  • 00:22:18
    She's been in the C Suite.
  • 00:22:20
    She's started a new business.
  • 00:22:22
    She's a pretty impressive woman.
  • 00:22:24
    Teresa, great to be with you today.
  • 00:22:26
    - Thank you.
  • 00:22:27
    - Give us a little background on just your career,
  • 00:22:30
    your path or your life that you want to lead into it.
  • 00:22:33
    - Well, my life has changed dramatically in the last year.
  • 00:22:37
    June 2019 I stepped off that fast treadmill of corporate life.
  • 00:22:43
    I really felt God was calling me to a different second chapter.
  • 00:22:47
    So I've been off and running and, you know,
  • 00:22:51
    been thrown off that treadmill a couple of times.
  • 00:22:54
    But I keep getting on and God just keeps
  • 00:22:56
    just giving me more and more clarity of mission.
  • 00:22:58
    - While you were on that treadmill, you went pretty far,
  • 00:23:01
    at least as far as a treadmill could take you
  • 00:23:02
    in corporate America, didn't you?
  • 00:23:04
    - Yeah, further than I ever thought possible.
  • 00:23:06
    Getting to the C suite and a Fortune 500 company,
  • 00:23:10
    most people don't get that
  • 00:23:12
    and most women certainly don't get that.
  • 00:23:14
    And so I just felt really, really blessed
  • 00:23:17
    and really grateful.
  • 00:23:18
    And I had a great run and I loved that job.
  • 00:23:22
    But I also really felt God pulling me a different direction.
  • 00:23:25
    - So you still have scars on top of your head
  • 00:23:27
    from busting through the glass ceiling,
  • 00:23:28
    or did you find there wasn't a glass ceiling?
  • 00:23:30
    What was it like for you?
  • 00:23:32
    - Well, definitely, you know, I don't know
  • 00:23:34
    if we call it the glass ceiling or not, but, you know,
  • 00:23:37
    there are some headwinds that women and minorities face
  • 00:23:40
    in corporate America.
  • 00:23:41
    It's just true. It's no one's fault.
  • 00:23:42
    It's just a reality.
  • 00:23:44
    You know, the corporate structure is really built on
  • 00:23:48
    many, many decades, hundreds of years of kind of one structure.
  • 00:23:53
    And it is a structure where you go to work
  • 00:23:56
    and you work from seven to six or whatever,
  • 00:23:59
    and then you go home and then you do it all over again.
  • 00:24:02
    And sometimes that doesn't work for everyone,
  • 00:24:05
    and especially women who so often have so many
  • 00:24:09
    of the child rearing responsibilities, home responsibilities.
  • 00:24:14
    And so I saw as a young woman, "Hey, you know,
  • 00:24:17
    how are all these men successful?"
  • 00:24:19
    And a lot of them were successful because
  • 00:24:22
    they had this amazing infrastructure around them to support them.
  • 00:24:25
    They went to work all day. They worked.
  • 00:24:27
    They didn't have to worry about all this other stuff.
  • 00:24:29
    And so I had to figure out if I want to get there,
  • 00:24:33
    I've got to figure out how to work around that system.
  • 00:24:35
    I have to do what they do
  • 00:24:37
    and I have to create the support infrastructure around me.
  • 00:24:40
    And so that's what I mean about, you know,
  • 00:24:43
    I had to look and say, "How does this game played
  • 00:24:45
    and how do you win?"
  • 00:24:47
    And and it's easier sometimes
  • 00:24:49
    for men to win that game than women, it's just a fact.
  • 00:24:52
    - Yeah, it is.
  • 00:24:53
    So 9/11 had some stuff that changed the country,
  • 00:24:58
    maybe not as drastic as we thought forever.
  • 00:25:00
    But, you know, how we get on planes
  • 00:25:02
    has been forever changed since 9/11.
  • 00:25:06
    Metal detectors more places than ever.
  • 00:25:09
    I don't know if the change has been that,
  • 00:25:11
    but there's still been a sustainable change.
  • 00:25:15
    When we come out of the COVID, whenever that is,
  • 00:25:18
    whenever that is, do you see something like sustainable changes
  • 00:25:22
    or things that are just going to be always
  • 00:25:24
    be different than we are right now?
  • 00:25:27
    Are there things that are going to be
  • 00:25:28
    permanently restructured in how we work
  • 00:25:30
    and how we structure our lives?
  • 00:25:32
    Do you have any forecast for
  • 00:25:33
    what some of the some of those things might be?
  • 00:25:35
    - Well, I hope that we fundamentally change
  • 00:25:39
    how work is being done, because there are
  • 00:25:43
    so many opportunities for us to leverage talent differently
  • 00:25:46
    and really enable people to do their best work
  • 00:25:49
    and to live their best life.
  • 00:25:50
    So I hope that fundamentally we change the way work is done.
  • 00:25:53
    But I also hope that we take the opportunity
  • 00:25:58
    to really examine these structural issues that are a big problem.
  • 00:26:03
    You know, I really worry about families
  • 00:26:06
    who count on school, for example, for child care.
  • 00:26:10
    You know, this isn't just a situation of, "Oh, well, OK,
  • 00:26:14
    you know, so the kids aren't going to go to school every day."
  • 00:26:16
    Well, who's going to be home with them?
  • 00:26:19
    So maybe I can't work and maybe I am someone
  • 00:26:23
    that can't afford to have a nanny come in.
  • 00:26:26
    Child care, daycare, it's gone, and so --
  • 00:26:30
    I was just reading an article in The Wall Street Journal
  • 00:26:32
    that that said as many as 30 percent of the women
  • 00:26:34
    that are currently employed are going to have to drop out
  • 00:26:37
    whether they want to or not.
  • 00:26:39
    And that's huge.
  • 00:26:42
    - I really like your vernacular of remaking the game.
  • 00:26:45
    We know about a game changer,
  • 00:26:46
    somebody is inserted onto the basketball court
  • 00:26:49
    and their level of so high it changes the game. Right?
  • 00:26:51
    But your idea of just remaking and changing
  • 00:26:56
    the whole structure is really a head tilt.
  • 00:26:59
    As we look at some of the things that you're referencing here,
  • 00:27:02
    economic disparities, some of the battle between the sexes
  • 00:27:06
    that's still going on.
  • 00:27:08
    This is a lot of weighty stuff for us to get depressed about.
  • 00:27:11
    How do you keep hope in the midst of it?
  • 00:27:12
    - Because I really think we all want to change.
  • 00:27:16
    We just don't know how to get into the fight.
  • 00:27:19
    And what I say to that is just do something, right?
  • 00:27:23
    Use your voice and we need everybody.
  • 00:27:25
    And if I can be so bold, Brian, we need men --
  • 00:27:28
    No, you cannot be more bold.
  • 00:27:29
    No, no more boldness. Can't take any more of that.
  • 00:27:32
    - I might say some things that are
  • 00:27:34
    a little bit controversial here, but we need men
  • 00:27:37
    and we specifically need white men.
  • 00:27:39
    And so often when I talk about --
  • 00:27:43
    - That's very controversial.
  • 00:27:44
    I don't think I've ever heard anyone, seriously.
  • 00:27:46
    I've never heard anyone say we need white men.
  • 00:27:49
    - Hear me out.
  • 00:27:50
    - I'm dead serious. - Hear me out.
  • 00:27:51
    - You're going to make me cry.
  • 00:27:52
    - Because I really -- we need white men.
  • 00:27:54
    And so often when I talk about my passion for women
  • 00:27:57
    and empowering women, the automatic assumption
  • 00:28:01
    is that I must be like against men. And I'm not.
  • 00:28:05
    You know, to bring equality, it is not by pushing others down.
  • 00:28:11
    Lifting people doesn't happen by pushing others down.
  • 00:28:15
    And why we need white men is because
  • 00:28:17
    white men have a position of influence.
  • 00:28:22
    You have a voice, you have strength, you have leadership,
  • 00:28:26
    and you have the ability to give power to ideas.
  • 00:28:32
    You have the ability to give voice to those that can't be heard.
  • 00:28:36
    You have strength that we need to help push us up the mountain.
  • 00:28:42
    So don't think that this work is done without you
  • 00:28:47
    or around you.
  • 00:28:48
    We have to have men stand up and say,
  • 00:28:51
    "I may not understand the life that you live.
  • 00:28:55
    I may not understand some of the challenges.
  • 00:28:58
    I may not have been able to see it,
  • 00:29:00
    but I'm in this fight with you."
  • 00:29:01
    And it goes more than being an ally.
  • 00:29:03
    It is about saying, "I'm going to use my position
  • 00:29:07
    of privilege, and maybe we don't like that word,
  • 00:29:09
    of privilege, but really, it's also about
  • 00:29:12
    using your position of power and strength
  • 00:29:15
    and voice to make a difference.
  • 00:29:18
    So get in the game.
  • 00:29:19
    - That's good. That's good.
  • 00:29:21
    That's a different message to a lot of us white men hear,
  • 00:29:24
    because all of us white men are defensive
  • 00:29:29
    or feeling like people are saying that we're
  • 00:29:34
    somehow unjust or lazy or whatever, and maybe in some cases,
  • 00:29:39
    but that's a different message what you just said.
  • 00:29:41
    Where we are right now, we've got to elevate others.
  • 00:29:44
    - You know, we seen on social media all the time right now,
  • 00:29:46
    and this going to --
  • 00:29:47
    this year is going to get crazier with the election.
  • 00:29:49
    Right? And so we say we're about tolerance
  • 00:29:52
    and we're about inclusion, but if you don't think like me,
  • 00:29:55
    I'm going to unfriend you. Right?
  • 00:29:57
    - Right.
  • 00:29:58
    - So you can't preach tolerance with intolerant behavior.
  • 00:30:02
    You can't teach inclusion with exclusionary behavior.
  • 00:30:07
    And you can't teach equity by pushing
  • 00:30:10
    or putting other people down, including the white male.
  • 00:30:13
    Right?
  • 00:30:14
    I believe that God has a heart for justice,
  • 00:30:17
    and I think that God has a heart for equity.
  • 00:30:19
    But that means us lifting one another up.
  • 00:30:22
    It doesn't mean it is about blaming or pointing fingers
  • 00:30:25
    about how we got here.
  • 00:30:27
    It's about us all getting in this fight together
  • 00:30:30
    and doing the work God called us to do,
  • 00:30:32
    to lift the oppressed, to bring justice, to love one another.
  • 00:30:35
    - When we look at some of these things, Teresa,
  • 00:30:37
    to have a faith that's rooted in the scriptures,
  • 00:30:41
    a lot of these things just aren't in the Bible.
  • 00:30:44
    Like the Bible doesn't have any talk about
  • 00:30:45
    for profit corporations.
  • 00:30:48
    For profit corporations are really, really good.
  • 00:30:50
    Some people would be really shocked to hear me say
  • 00:30:52
    the Bible doesn't really talk about and give firm rules
  • 00:30:57
    that are for all cultures of what the man does
  • 00:30:59
    and what the woman does inside the home. Right?
  • 00:31:02
    A lot of the things that we inherit are convictions
  • 00:31:05
    or things that other people taught us.
  • 00:31:07
    When you think about a very tenuous, fluid future
  • 00:31:11
    where we're going to be having to do things
  • 00:31:13
    that we haven't done before,
  • 00:31:14
    are there certain Bible stories or passages
  • 00:31:17
    or scriptural principles that route you and say,
  • 00:31:19
    "Well, as long as these the things are being done,
  • 00:31:22
    then we're going to be OK"?
  • 00:31:24
    - You know, when God was leading the Israelites
  • 00:31:26
    and He went before them in a pillar of fire and a pillar of smoke.
  • 00:31:32
    And I think about that all the time.
  • 00:31:33
    And I think, "God, I don't know where you're going with this.
  • 00:31:36
    And I just can't see the future by myself.
  • 00:31:40
    I'm just going to follow You and I'm just going to know
  • 00:31:43
    that You're going to be ahead of me." Right?
  • 00:31:44
    - That's right.
  • 00:31:46
    - "And day by day, step by step,
  • 00:31:47
    You're going to illuminate it."
  • 00:31:49
    And just moving and walking in faith,
  • 00:31:50
    it is scary sometimes, but just knowing that He's above me
  • 00:31:57
    and He's before me, it's just amazing.
  • 00:32:00
    - Boy, that's really good.
  • 00:32:01
    I mean, I think to myself, like, I want to know the end
  • 00:32:05
    and want to know when I can go to a movie again.
  • 00:32:08
    I want to know what I can go in the office
  • 00:32:10
    and everyone's hustling and bustling
  • 00:32:12
    and three feet away from each other.
  • 00:32:14
    You know, like I want -- That's a great word.
  • 00:32:18
    What I need is just to have God in my life today
  • 00:32:21
    and the next day and if I can see that far forward,
  • 00:32:24
    then I'm going to be OK.
  • 00:32:25
    - And I think right now what's maddening is
  • 00:32:27
    we don't know when the end is, right?
  • 00:32:29
    We don't know when there's going to be a vaccine.
  • 00:32:31
    We don't know when all of this is going to be back to normal
  • 00:32:35
    or if it ever will.
  • 00:32:36
    And so it is that constant faith, "God, you go before me.
  • 00:32:41
    It's just I can't worry about what it's going to be like
  • 00:32:44
    in December or next June.
  • 00:32:46
    I just need to worry about just stepping out
  • 00:32:49
    in faith every day with You."
  • 00:32:50
    - Teresa, great being with you today, I really appreciate it.
  • 00:32:52
    - Thank you.
  • 00:33:07
    - I want more of God's goodness in this world.
  • 00:33:10
    Probably you do, too, but it seems like we're so far from that.
  • 00:33:13
    That's why we choose to worship.
  • 00:33:14
    Worship as a way for us to put our trust in God and say,
  • 00:33:17
    "God, we want to go where You're leading."
  • 00:42:53
    - Hey, thanks for watching.
  • 00:42:54
    That song and many others are available
  • 00:42:56
    for you to listen to and be encouraged by at Crossroads music.
  • 00:42:59
    You know, watching a video once a week is great,
  • 00:43:01
    but there's so much more available for you
  • 00:43:03
    in your adventure with God.
  • 00:43:04
    I want to give you a challenge.
  • 00:43:05
    Try the 30 day adventures, 30 days of content
  • 00:43:08
    that we will send to you to help you grow
  • 00:43:10
    in your relationship with God.
  • 00:43:12
    You can check it out at Crossroads.net.
  • 00:43:14
    We also want to help your kids grow in their spiritual journey.
  • 00:43:17
    I'm a father and I love going to crossroadskidsclub.net
  • 00:43:20
    and using those videos and other resources
  • 00:43:22
    to make it a family affair and help my kids
  • 00:43:24
    grow in their relationship with Jesus.
  • 00:43:26
    We'd love to see you back next time.
  • 00:43:28
    Thanks for being with us.
  • 00:43:32
    - Thanks for watching.
  • 00:43:33
    My name is Lena,
  • 00:43:34
    and I want to help you go on your spiritual adventure.
  • 00:43:37
    We have a community of people that gathers online
  • 00:43:40
    to go on an adventure together through processing
  • 00:43:43
    the weekend message and applying it week in and week out.
  • 00:43:46
    We call this weekend follow up groups
  • 00:43:48
    and you can join one today from anywhere you are
  • 00:43:50
    by heading to Crossroads.net/onlinecommunity.
  • 00:43:54
    It might just be the thing that takes you
  • 00:43:55
    to the next place on your adventure with God.
  • 00:43:59
    We'll see you next week.
Process, journal or discuss the themes of this article - here's a few questions to get the ball rolling...

Welcome to the Weekend Follow Up.

  1. We’ll start off with some good stories. Share the most brave thing you’ve ever done — for some of us it might be brave or stupid, you can decide.

  2. What’s the one thing that’s shaken you the most in 2020? The loss of a job? Postponed vacation or wedding? Not having the routine you’re used to? What could it look like to put your hope in Jesus in that space? How can you deepen your trust in Him?

  3. In the midst of 2020, you’re hearing a lot of things from all angles. But what could it look like to hear from God? And what could hearing his voice bring to your life right now? Maybe that’s not something you’ve ever considered, God speaking to you. Brainstorm ways you can learn to hear God’s voice.

  4. Sometimes the systems and structures that support us break (i.e. kids being at school while you work). As you’re taking on new territory — still working at home, trying to navigate kids school, or any other challenge you’re facing — what structures (relational or otherwise) do you need to build to make the most out of this time?

  5. Read Psalm 7:17. Even in this year, there are still things for us to be thankful for, and God is always worthy of praise. Everyone take a turn praying, specifically where you’re thankful in the rebuilding process he is doing in your life this year.

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Aug 29, 2020 44 mins 22 sec

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