I was raised in the church, but around 27 years old my faith slowly got pushed under everything else I was going through. I experienced abusive relationships, lost my job and my car, and I was forced to sell my home before I lost that, too. In the middle of all this I found out I was pregnant by a man who was very mentally and emotionally abusive.
Before I found out I was pregnant there had been a point when I wished I was dead. I truly believe God blessed me with a baby at that moment because I had given up on myself and lost sight of my faith. This was a way to help me get started in my long journey to discover my faith again. That didn’t happen right away. I was depressed for about four years and had some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. I felt alone and lost, and guilt from my past decisions was eating me alive. The day my daughter came into the world I knew I had to change, but I still felt stuck. I was still in an abusive relationship and my self-worth was zero.
About six months after my daughter was born, I finally made the big step to end things with her father. I wish I could tell you everything was great after that, but it wasn’t. I spiraled and went even deeper into depression because I felt guilty that my daughter didn’t have her mommy and daddy together. Her father moved 4 hours away and hardly made an effort to be in her life. I ate my emotions away. I gained almost 100 pounds in a matter of months. I cried myself to sleep almost daily.
Then, one day, my parents asked me if I wanted to join them in trying out a new church. Something in me said, ‘yes, Lindsay, go, this might be what you need.’ On June 2, 2019 I walked into Crossroads feeling defeated and still doubting that my life would get any better. Boy was I wrong! The service opened with the new song “God of the Breakthrough” and I felt an instant connection to God. My heart felt full for the first time in so long. I felt a warmth run through my veins. My eyes began to tear up. The Holy Spirit was surely present and there was no denying it.
Since that first service I have been an active attendee at Crossroads. I joined a Moms group and a journey group. Both allowed me to meet amazing people and have some amazing experiences.
When I reconnected with God, I no longer felt alone, lost, and hopeless. I had a new drive to better myself and love myself. I started going to the doctor, which I had been terrified to do. I opened myself up to meet new people. I stopped feeling alone because I knew I had all of the help and encouragement I needed. God was always there, he never left my side, I had just let life distract me.
Now I pray daily, I’ve met amazing people through Crossroads, I’ve worked on my health, I met a new man who has been nothing but amazing to me, and I’ve lost more than 65 pounds. My life is completely different and I have nobody to thank except God. -Lindsay R.