What is Wisdom—And How Do I Get It?

You don’t earn it like candles on a birthday cake, paid time off, or reusable water bottles (five people live in our house, why do we have 13 reusable water bottles?!).

I know wise teenagers, foolish old timers, and everything in-between. That’s because wisdom isn’t necessarily a function of age, experience, or intelligence. Wisdom is a gift. And it’s one available to everyone, no matter how many gray hairs you have.

What Is Wisdom?

Wisdom—like art—exists in so many different forms, it’s nearly impossible to nail down. Architecture is art. So is a masterpiece by Van Gogh. So is an album by Nick Drake. And so is the sleek design of a car that can get me from point A to point B. Wisdom’s kind of like that.

Wisdom isn’t just having book-learning, street smarts, emotional intelligence, financial acuity or spiritual depth. It’s more than all that. Valuable insight from a grandparent, the watch-out-for-this advice of a mentor, and the jump-first-ask-questions-later gumption of that new hire at work can all be forms of wisdom.

At its heart, all art is about creation—bringing something new into existence that didn’t exist before. Likewise, at its heart, wisdom is about seeing patterns and responding to them appropriately.

But don’t take my word for it. That’s a little remix put together from a much wiser (and ancient) source—the Bible.

“A wise heart knows the right time and procedure. For every activity there is a right time and procedure…” - Ecclesiastes 8:5-6 (HCSB)

The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom, but this might be my favorite definition. Wisdom is knowing the right time AND the right procedure.

There’s doing the right thing at the wrong time (like starting a deep conversation with your wife as she’s crawling into bed), and there’s doing the wrong thing at the right time (like not listening to your kid when she wants to share her feelings and fears). Wisdom is bringing those two things together—doing the right thing, at the right time, for the best result.

Those are real examples from my own life—lessons learned by recognizing patterns. More than once I’ve sprung a complicated topic on my wife while she’s fighting to stay awake; and more than once I’ve not given my daughter the attention she deserves from her dad. Instead of ignoring those mistakes, wisdom is recognizing a pattern exists that I don’t want to repeat again, and then learning to adjust my time and procedures accordingly.

Wisdom is often attributed to older generations because they’ve had more time and more experiences. And rightfully so. There’s something to be said for that. If you’re paying attention, life has plenty of lessons to teach. But years alone won’t give you wisdom any more than walking into the gym will give you muscles.

There’s an X-factor that you need.

How Do I Get It?

Thankfully, getting wisdom is incredibly straightforward. You ask for it. You look for it. And then you act on it.

Step 1 - Ask

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” - James 1:5

Sometimes Scripture can be hard to understand. It requires study, consulting the original languages, and cross-referencing it with other passages.

Not this time.

If you want wisdom, ask God for it. That’s how Solomon, the ancient king of Israel recognized as the wisest man to ever live, came by his understanding. It’s how Daniel gained wisdom to help him navigate difficult times. It’s a gift early-missionary Paul regularly asked God to give to the baby churches he was planting around the Mediterranean.

The path to wisdom starts by asking.

Step 2 - Look

“Seeing they do not see, and hearing they do not hear, nor do they understand.” - Matthew 13:13

Very rarely does God just download a good thing into your life. Instead, He usually sets you on a journey to uncover it.

Now that you’ve asked for wisdom, you have to train your eyes to look for it. The good news: It’s everywhere.

Scripture is an incredible place to look for wisdom. It says itself that it’s useful for teaching, correcting, and training. As you read the story of God and humanity, you start to recognize patterns in the people who please God (they were people of movement, faithful in hard times, and generous) AND the people who don’t (they were selfish, faithless, and complainers). Wisdom is emulating the lives of the good ones, and avoiding the pitfalls of the bad.

People are another incredible resource when it comes to gaining wisdom. My friend, Kim, is 69 years old. He’s older than me, and a deep well of wisdom on finances, building a family that lasts, and business success. My friend, Donny, is younger than me. He’s a source of wisdom on prayer, creativity, and making other people feel valued.

(There are dozens more people I could write about, who regularly sharpen me, but then this article would be much longer than it needs to be.)

Suffice it to say, the right people will make you wiser—if you let them. It requires humility to ask for their time and input. It requires vulnerability to be honest about the questions you have or the problems you’re facing. And it requires time. Wisdom isn’t a five-minute game. Like a tree, it grows slowly. Iron sharpening iron, and all that.

When you start looking for it, you’ll start picking up bits of wisdom in the most unlikely places—from books and podcasts, to nature and passing conversations with neighbors.

The key is to not be like the people Jesus describes in the Scripture above. Although the Messiah was in their midst, most of them couldn’t see, hear, or understand what they were witnessing. They were too busy; too distracted; or too proud.

Wisdom requires taking the blinders off. After you ask, you train your eyes to start looking.

Step 3 - Act

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” - Matthew 7:24

Wisdom is useless if you let it pile up in your head. It has to reach your hands. Wisdom only matters if it changes what you do.

For that to happen, you have to act on it. To change something about your life based on the patterns you’re recognizing on your own, with the help of friends, or through the influence of scripture and time spent listening to God.

If you don’t act on it, you’ll stay a fool. Like me.

Last week, I attended an event for work that took me an hour away from my house. It was my responsibility to take our kids to cross-country practice that day. In order to do that, I needed to be home by 3 PM sharp.

Wisdom would tell you that I’d need to leave by 2 PM—maybe even a little earlier to factor in traffic or unexpected delays. Knowing that I have a tendency to be late, I had decided I’d leave the event by 1:45 PM, just to be safe.

Then 1:45 PM came and went. I got into a conversation. I had to say “goodbye” to a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I got delayed walking back to my car. By the time I hit the road, it was 2:20 PM. Instead of calling ahead and apologizing, I just drove faster. I bet on myself and my own ability to beat wisdom. And I bet wrong.

Wisdom will only work if you allow yourself to be changed by it. It’s either that, or being a fool with a head full of good ideas, apologizing to your family for being late… again.

What He Said

Asking, looking, and acting isn’t a magic formula for just wisdom. Jesus said it’s how anything important gets done:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” - Matthew 7:7-8

God is the source of all good things. We start by humbling ourselves and asking Him.

Then, instead of waiting for a present to drop out of the sky, we start seeking it, intent to find where God is working and joining Him in that.

And then we knock on the door—we do something about it, putting faith (and our asks) into action.

Wisdom isn’t reserved for the best of the best, the rule-followers, or the old timers. Instead, it goes to those humble enough to ask, seek, and act.

Is that you?