The Devil, Prada, and Learning to Ask For Help

I’d rather get a root canal underwater while doing my taxes. But it’s becoming apparent that the longer I stand on my pride, refusing to ask for help, the more stalled my life becomes. Wildly enough, God drove his point home with a red stiletto.

The Devil Wears Prada, released in 2006, got to me. I’ve had my fair share of horrible bosses, and I found myself yelling at the main character, Andy Sachs (played by the talented Anne Hathaway), “If you’re not happy, just quit!” Maybe it’s just the millennial in me, but there’s no way I would have put up with Miranda, the boss and operator at high-fashion magazine Runway.

So when The Devil Wears Prada 2 came out, I was skeptical. Is this worth my time? Why the heck is Andy back at a work environment she hated? And more importantly, How is Stanley Tucci going to warm our hearts once more?

Although there was an overall lack of tension compared to the first movie, the sequel wasn’t a complete let-down. In fact, it redeemed several characters, including Mrs. Devil herself, Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep). Confronting her fears of losing Runway to an outside buyer, Miranda has nowhere to turn and is forced to do the unthinkable: ask for help.

You Can’t Do It Alone

It can be hard to ask for help… even for (and maybe especially for) people like Miranda. IYKYK, but describing Miranda as brash, rude, and extremely self-seeking is actually an understatement.

But when we meet her again in The Devil Wears Prada 2, something has happened. Miranda—still throwing the occasional daggers—has changed. She appears less confident and at times almost nervous. The past few years in the fashion industry haven’t been kind to her, and she finds her spot on the totem pole of importance shifting down dramatically.

No spoilers, but there’s a moment between Andy and Miranda where it becomes apparent this former-queen-of-fashion can only move forward if she asks her assistant for help. It’s a tough choice, because doing so means admitting she can’t handle this on her own. It means recognizing her own limitations, lack of perfection, and shortcomings. It means admitting someone is better than she is.

What’s hard on the movie screen can be even more difficult in real life. All those feelings of inadequacy are baked into asking for help—that’s why it’s so hard. Maybe you’re someone who sees themselves as independent, strong, and capable enough on your own. Maybe you’re just so used to helping out others that, when it’s your turn, you can’t get the words out. Maybe you’re afraid of being a burden, or finding yourself in debt to someone else for their help.

Refusing to ask for help—it’s not a good thing. I know this, first-hand.

A Piece of (Poop) Cake

Have I mentioned how much I hate asking for help? (I can hear my husband shouting “amen” from the back row.)

On the Enneagram, a personality-typing tool, I score as a 2, “The Helper.” While I love helping others, I rarely ask or accept it myself. Which I guess makes sense, because Enneagram 2s are described as “well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed.”

Asking for help is hard, literally every time—whether it’s asking my 6’5” husband to reach something on the top shelf, asking my friends for advice, or even asking for prayer.

But the absolute worst, the icing on the poop cake, is having to ask for help when I notice my body failing. I have a degenerative neurological disease that causes balance issues. Translation: it’s nearly impossible for me to walk with a full glass of water without spilling. Barring healing, this condition will only get worse over time, and it’s forcing me into the position Miranda found herself in: having to ask for help—sometimes, through gritted teeth.

There are some things I just can’t do with ease anymore—and so, at home, that means having to ask my husband to carry my drink to the couch. Whew! Even just typing that sentence out was emotionally difficult.

The thing is, if I want to mature spiritually (and stop spilling drinks), I have to make peace with asking for help. It isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, the Bible portrays it as a sign of wisdom. It’s all over the place:

• Psalm 46:1 - “God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble.” (God helps us.)
• Proverbs 15:22 - “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” (Others help us.)
• Galatians 6:2 - “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (We should help others; and also be willing to ask for help)
• Proverbs 11:14 - “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (The more important the mission, the more you should rely on the wisdom and help of others.)
• James 1:5 - “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (God gives good things to those who ask.)

Asking for help is always accompanied by its partner in crime—humility. They never go anywhere without the other. In The Devil Wears Prada 2, Miranda gets opportunity after opportunity to put it on—something she deems completely unfashionable, but is a requirement if you’re going to ask for (and receive) help.

You can’t have one without the other. No humility, no help.

I kinda hate it, to be honest. But I’m leaning in. As I’m forced to ask more and more for help, here are three things God’s been teaching me.

1) God Can Help

Psychology Today says:

“The refusal to ask for help is a kind of sickness in itself, even a kind of arrogance—the blind insistence on doing it all by yourself, no matter what—because along with it comes the message that no one’s help is worth the price in vulnerability it will cost you, that ultimately no one can console you, no one can ease your pain, if you yourself can’t.”

Ouch. That stings. But deep down, I know it’s true.

I can’t do it all on my own. The good news? I’m actually not supposed to. God is there, wanting to help, counsel, and lead me. When no one else can help—including myself—He can.

Scripture like Psalm 121:1-2 reminds me that God is my source of help; Psalm 34:4 assures me that God hears me; Romans 8:28 promises that God uses all things for good, even the hard stuff.

God can be trusted. Ask Him for help. He’s always available, always listening, and always moving.

Having His help only costs one thing—your pride. I don't know about you, but that’s something I’m willing to pay.

2) People Can Help

God is a great helper… and, in his wisdom, he fills our lives with people who can help us too. They could be your friends, family, next-door neighbors, coworkers, the cashier, the barista, the Kroger pickup lady, total strangers… you get the drift. It could be literally anyone.

Ecclesiastes, a book of wisdom literature from the Bible, unpacks exactly why two are better than one:

“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Just like Miranda, we will all get to a point where we need help. When you hit a wall, who do you turn to for help?

Getting help requires humility. In one of my favorite scenes in the movie, Miranda realizes that she can’t be in two places at once. She can either go save Runway or stay to lead an important-but-temporary fashion show. Looking frantically about her, she spots Nigel and asks if he can take the reins of the fashion show. With a clarity that humility brings, it begins to dawn on Miranda just how much she’s mistreated her longtime friend and co-worker:

Miranda (pausing): Have I taken you for granted?

Nigel (stunned): What?

Miranda: In a world where everyone shouts and complains and whines and screws up and tries to cover up... there's you. There's always been you.

Humility changes your perspective, and it’s required to ask for help. What we don’t often realize, though, is that being a helper takes humility too.

3) We Can Help

This, of course, is my favorite one… which is why it’s last. God’s working on me about #1 and #2, but he just might be getting your attention about #3.

When someone makes the humble move and asks for help, our response also has to come from a place of humility. We don’t help to curry favor, put someone else in our debt, or out of a sense of obligation. Scripture is clear that God loves cheerful givers, not people driven by ulterior motives.

Becoming a helper will likely require you to make some adjustments to your priorities, timelines, and plans. It means choosing someone else over what is easiest, best, or even more convenient for you.

This is the example we find in the life of Jesus.

“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us…God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Romans 5:6,8

When we were helpless, capable of offering nothing to Him, Christ died for us. That’s high-octane humility that helps motivate me to follow His lead.

Having the humility to become a helper is something Scripture teaches again and again. Deuteronomy 15:1 reminds me to care for those around me; Hebrews 13:16 teaches me that sharing what I have with others pleases God; Philippians 2:4 is a knock-out punch instructing me to stop thinking about myself so much, choosing to help others instead.

Helping others is a family trait we all get to share in the Kingdom of God.

Don’t Give Up

The hardest part about all this asking and giving help? It doesn’t stop. There’s no finish line where you don’t have to do it anymore. It is a muscle that we all have to work out, keep strong, and use.

I’m speaking to myself just as much as anyone else. The cool thing is you can ask God for help…about asking for help. Prayers like that please Him. So keep praying them. Notice how God moves around you. Trust that He is fighting for you and sending you out into his world as his ambassadors—to help and be helped.

It all requires humility. So lose that pride—ask God to jump in, be ready to share your load when you need help, and offer a helping hand to others when their requests come in.

Because, while the Devil might wear Prada, he never, ever, asks for help.

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Disclaimer: This article is 100% human-generated.

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