Prayer Is Hard—Copying Makes It Easier

It rarely feels natural. My mind wanders. Distractions come easily. Sometimes I fall asleep. (A lot of times I fall asleep.) Shouldn’t it be easier by now? “Shoot, I’m late getting the kids up again. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

For the longest time, I felt stuck. Prayer was like spiritual Brussels sprouts. I knew it was good for me, but I just couldn’t convince myself to willingly put it on my plate. Then I stumbled onto a secret that every teacher hates to admit actually works—when you’re learning something new, you start by copying.

Not just the answers, of course, but the processes. You copy until you can do it on your own, and then you innovate from there. This has been the path of some of the greatest artists, athletes, and influencers of all time. Van Gogh created over twenty works of art by copying, and then improvising on, works by one of his favorite artists, Jean-Francois Millet. Kobe Bryant studied and copied Michael Jordan’s moves, footwork, and fadeaway jump shot. Writer and journalist Hunter S. Thompson copied The Great Gatsby and Farewell to Arms word-for-word to learn rhythm and style. Even Mr. $100-bill himself, Benjamin Franklin, learned how to communicate through copying authors he admired as a child.

Why shouldn’t prayer be any different? Answer: It shouldn’t be. When I have a hard time finding the words to say, keeping my focus, or even drumming up the desire, I borrow the five prayers below to get me over the hump. Some come straight from scripture, others from later heroes of the faith. Some I repeat verbatim, others I use as a guide and improvise on.

I don’t use them all every day—and some days I don’t need any of them. But I keep them all close at hand. They’re like my prayer Leatherman. I don’t always need it, but when I do, I’m glad I have one with the knife… and the screwdriver… and the file… and the teeny-tiny scissors.

Prayer is difficult, precisely because it’s powerful. Scripture says that it is key to keeping in step with God; for gaining wisdom; for asking for all that we need; and for changing life on the earth now. We can approach God with confidence, no matter what we have to say or ask, because He isn’t hiding from us. I don’t know how it all works, but Jesus teaches that some blessings are just waiting for us to ask.

Prayer is hard, but copying makes it easier. These five prayers have helped me find traction—and learn to love Brussels sprouts (but only the spiritual kind).

1. Jesus’ Road Map - Matthew 6:9-13

You might know it as “The Our Father” or “The Lord’s Prayer.” When Jesus’ followers asked for his help learning to pray (see, it was hard for them too), this is the prayer he taught them. For me, the power isn’t in mindlessly repeating these 2,000-year-old words, but in using them as a launching off point. I look at it less like an instruction manual and more like a map that offers lots of different routes to get to the same destination.

When I use this road map, Jesus’ words always stay the same, but mine will change depending on the specifics of my life, day, and even attitude. Some mornings it might look like this—Jesus’ words in bold, mine in italics.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed is your name. Good is your name. Mighty is your name. All-powerful is your name. Thank you for blessing my daughter’s diabetes appointment this morning, and for keeping us safe in that scary situation on the road yesterday.

Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Help me to join your work today. Let your kingdom come in that family argument I’ve been avoiding. Let your kingdom come for my friend Steven, who is afraid his landlord is going to raise the rent. Let your kingdom come with my son, who has a challenging science test today.

Give us today our daily bread. It’s payday today, help me to make wise financial decisions. Help us find a new home to move into that we can afford. Be with dad, who still has the flu after a week—heal him.

Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. I’m sorry for being impatient with the kids last night and snapping at them about their messy room. Forgive me for missing that opportunity to be generous yesterday and choosing comfort instead. Bless that guy at work that routinely pisses me off.

Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Keep me safe as I go to work this morning. Protect my kids’ bodies, minds, and hearts from outside influences that might point them away from you. Use my family to be a blessing to others today. Amen.

Jesus’ prayer hits all the highlights, giving me an opportunity to praise God for his goodness, repent of my own mistakes, ask for what I need, and yield to His plan.

Oh, look, that spells PRAY. Who would’ve guessed it?

When the goal is to become more like Jesus, it’s hard to go wrong with the prayer he taught us.

2. Moses’ Magic Number - Psalm 90:12

As a young man, I used to hate it when the old timers told me life goes fast. But now that I’m in my 40’s, I can confirm, they were right.

I’m prone to get sucked into side quests—meaning, it’s easy for me to get my sights off what matters most in the long run, and instead give my time and attention to whatever is the shiniest, loudest, or most pressing at the moment. That’s not a good thing.

For the past few months, I’ve been using this prayer, from the only Psalm attributed to Moses, as a daily plea for God to refocus me when I need it, and as a reminder to keep my eye on the ball. I run this same play every morning, and as needed throughout the day, when I catch myself wandering.

“Teach [me] to number [my] days that [I] may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Today will end. This week will end. This month, this season, this year will end. At some point, my very life will end. Today is the only today that I get. I need God’s perspective to keep making the most important stuff, the most important stuff. That’s a heart of wisdom.

3. David’s Muzzle - Psalm 19:12-14

Stop me if this sounds familiar… but my mouth gets me in trouble. I’m a pretty okay writer, but in the heat of the moment, when stress builds, my words can become blunt objects. This is especially damaging at home, when my wife and kids get caught in the crossfire. David’s prayer reminds me to take a beat (or two, or three, or seventy-four) before I open my mouth.

Like Moses’ prayer above, I’ve been using this regularly. With the stress of a full-time job, three kids in sports, gas prices higher than my favorite menu item at Chick-Fil-A, and nothing positive in the news cycle, I need the reminder not to bleed on the people I love most.

The first half of David’s prayer invites God to use his scalpel to take out anything that isn’t making me more like his Son—any sin that trips me up, whether I’m aware of it or not. The second half asks for Him to put my motivations and mouth where they belong, under his rule and reign. It’s a powerful one-two punch.

“Forgive my hidden faults

Keep your servant also from willful sins;

may they not rule over me…

May the words of my mouth,

and the meditation of my heart

be pleasing in your sight,

Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

If I can do those things, today will be a win.

4. Saint Patrick’s Breastplate

The hills aren’t the only thing alive with the sound of music—so are my prayer times.

While you know Saint Patrick from that day in March that involves wearing green, guzzling down Guinness, and Lucky Charms donuts, his story is so much more impressive than that. Originally kidnapped and made a slave in Ireland, he escaped, only to return to the land of his captivity to share the good news of Jesus. He spent the rest of his life blessing the people of Ireland.

Saint Patrick’s Breastplate is a famous prayer attributed to the clover-loving missionary. Like the piece of armor it’s named after, the breastplate prayer is all about strength and protection. Designed to be prayed in the morning, it reminds me to face a new day rooted in God’s grace, Jesus’ sacrifice, and the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

I’m not sure if Patrick actually prayed the breastplate prayer, or if it just got attached to him later on (he did live 1,500 years ago, after all). The original prayer is pretty long, and like that old laptop collecting dust in the basement, my short-term memory is limited. But a good song? That’ll get stuck in my head for years.

Thankfully, one of my favorite songwriters took Saint Patrick’s Breastplate and turned it into a song, a prayer that I can sing. It’s been on heavy repeat for the last few months. Hit play, and you can find out why for yourself.

I’m especially drawn to the chorus, which asks God to surround me on all sides, from the time I rise till the time I lie down to sleep. It ends by concluding that God is both my shield and my crown. Meaning, no matter what I face today, God will be consistent—nothing awful that happens to me can shake my confidence in my shield, and nothing terrific can unseat his place of prominence as my crown.

“Lord, I arise with Thee, encompass me

Above and beneath, all around

When I lay down to sleep and when I arise

The Lord is my shield, He’s my crown.”

A prayer you can sing? That’s more valuable than all the emeralds of the isle.

5. Flannery’s Typewriter and Brian’s Hammer

Eat all the protein you want; muscle is built when it’s used. It’s the same with prayer. When you speak to God, keep yourself primed for action. Prayer is a call to get in the game.

Flannery O’Connor was a Southern Gothic writer, a believer in Jesus who managed to squeeze the gospel out of short stories populated with runaways, riff-raff, and the revolting. Diagnosed with a terminal illness at the age of 25, she kept writing, praying, and moving forward anyway. I read her published prayer journal last year, and a line jumped off the page.

“Don’t let me ever think, dear God, that I was anything but the instrument for Your story—just like the typewriter was mine.”

As a writer myself, it was a metaphor I latched onto. I’ve shortened her words into a prayer of my own:

“God, let me be your typewriter today.”

Scripture teaches that whatever work we set out to do, we should give it our best, as if we were working for the Lord and not for men (Colossians 3:23-25). Praying “God, let me be your stockbroker today” can be just as powerful as “God, let me be your digital marketing specialist” or “God, let me be your stay-at-home mom.”

A spiritual mentor of mine has been praying a similar prayer for the last 40 years. While he borrowed it from someone else, it seems to be cut from the same cloth as Flannery’s.

“God, whatever you have going on today, I want to be part of it.”

A prayer like that is a hammer that drives nails. It gets things done. So it is with the most impactful people I know. They don’t just ask God to take action; they ask if they can get in on it too. They want to be on the field when the game is played; in the room where it happens; on the frontlines of the battle.

It’s a daring prayer. A bold one. Honestly, some days it scares me to pray it, because I know God will answer. But it’s a reminder that I wasn’t created to be a spectator. Talking to God doesn’t get me off the hook from getting my hands dirty. In fact, it just might be the very thing that leads to it.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Don’t love any of those prayers? Good news: the Bible is chock full of other prayers you can borrow. Prayers of joy and thanksgiving. Prayers of anger and disgust. Prayers of mourning and lamentation. Prayers of hope and prayers for direction.

Don’t wait for the perfect words to come to you. When you need a prayer kickstart, copy.