Making disciples and building relationships.
Encourage. Guide. Empower. Strengthen.
When someone contacts you, that’s all it is at first. Have a conversation and see if it’s a fit. If so, you can click “approve” to show it’s officially a connection.
That's something you and your mentee get to decide together.
Some mentoring relationships focus on reading scripture together. Others pray, process life, work through a book or study, or simply meet regularly over coffee. Some become walking buddies and others even camp together.
You don't need a perfect plan. Start with a conversation and let the relationship grow naturally.
Mentors are asked to respond within 2–3 days whenever possible.
Absolutely.
While many mentoring relationships happen in person, others meet over Zoom, FaceTime, phone calls, or even primarily through text.
Choose the format that works best for both of you.
Totally understandable! Busyness is the biggest barrier to spiritual growth. That’s why we built this tool with a variety of intensity levels to fit your life. You can personalize your profile with preferences that help communicate your level of involvement and how many mentees you have capacity to meet with in any season.
Don’t feel bad about how much time you have. Just ask God how to make the most of the hours you do have. Whatever level you are able to let someone in, it matters. It helps, and it’s worth it!
Yes! Sometimes God calls us to a niche, and it’s OK to say this is who I’m passionate about reaching. If you only want to build into young moms or addicts or 20-something guys or women who just became empty nesters, try it!
When someone in that demographic sees your specificity, they’ll feel loved and pursued. If you know your sweet spot, don’t be afraid to say it. Just know that it might mean there are less options and it might take a while for the right people to find you. If you want someone faster, consider opening up to more types of people.
Absolutely.
Seasons change, capacity changes, and life gets busy. You are always free to pause your profile or step away from mentoring if needed.
It’s much better for mentors to be honest about their availability than overcommit and burn out.
If you need help updating your status or ending a mentoring relationship well, just reach out to mentoring@crossroads.net.
That's OK.
Sometimes it takes a meeting or two to know if a mentoring relationship is the right fit. Don't write someone off too quickly, but if even one of you feels that it’s not the best connection, it's perfectly fine to move on.
Remember: clear is kind. Be honest and encourage them to continue looking for the right mentor. If you need help navigating that conversation, email mentoring@crossroads.net.
Same-gender mentoring relationships are strongly encouraged whenever possible.
That said, there may occasionally be situations where mentoring across genders makes sense. In those cases, extra wisdom, strong boundaries, transparency, and public meeting spaces are encouraged.
Mentors are never expected to accept a mentoring request they do not feel comfortable with.
This does happen occasionally. Fortunately, a whole pastoral care team of people who are deeply trained in crisis, addiction, safety concerns, mental health, and more are available. If something starts happening that you don’t know how to handle, email mentors@crossroads.net or reach out to your Site Director. They can help connect your person (or advise you) on how to get the help they need.
Meet in a public place, especially when you're first getting to know each other.
Coffee shops are great, and most Crossroads sites have open atrium hours during the week (plus free coffee). Check your site's hours for details.
If you're meeting virtually, choose a time and place where you can both have a distraction-free conversation.
A mentor is not a therapist, life coach, or new authority figure in your life.
A mentor is simply someone a little further down the road who is willing to encourage you, listen well, ask good questions, and help you take next steps toward Jesus.
Some mentoring relationships are highly structured. Others feel more like grabbing coffee with a wise friend. There’s no single “right” way to do it.
The goal is simple: growth, encouragement, and connection.
That’s something you and your mentor get to decide together.
Some people process life.
Some pray together.
Some read the Bible together.
Some use a study or book.
Some simply talk through challenges and decisions.
A great first meeting usually includes:
You don't need a perfect plan to get started.
Probably a little.
Most new relationships feel awkward at first.
The good news is that everyone knows that—including your mentor.
You don't need to impress them. You don't need to have everything figured out. You don't need to know exactly what to say.
Just show up, be honest, and give it a little time.
You might be surprised how quickly awkward becomes comfortable.
It happens. Sometimes it takes a couple conversations to know if a relationship is a good fit. Be careful not to write someone off too quickly.
But if you're confident it's not the right connection, that's OK too. Just be honest.
Something like:
“I appreciate getting to know you, but I'm not sure this is the best fit. I think I'd like to keep looking.”
Most mentors respond within 2–3 days whenever possible.
Sometimes life gets busy, emails get buried, or people step away from mentoring without updating their profile right away. If you haven’t heard back after a few days, don’t panic (and definitely don’t take it personally).
If you're not hearing back, email mentors@crossroads.net for help.
All mentors complete an application and interview process before being approved. Additional staff conversations or references may be part of that process when needed.
Healthy mentoring boundaries are also encouraged, including:
See the Mentoring Safety and Boundaries article for more information. If anyone ever feels uncomfortable or unsafe, let the team know immediately. You can always reach out at mentors@crossroads.net.