Grow on Purpose

Things that grow intentionally are the things that benefit us the most. The same is true in our spiritual lives. When we are intentional about making time and finding the right people to grow with, our relationship with God and others will always benefit from it.

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    >> Am I as good looking as I think I am?
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    >> I wonder where normal people find friends.
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    >> I wonder if the kids notice I'm missing.
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    >> Mommy, where are you?
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    >> Can miracles really happen?
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    >> Hey, Siri, is God real?
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    >> If God exists, can he see me right now?
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    >> Should I be taking my kids to church?
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    >> How much was that one way ticket to Amsterdam?
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    >> Jim invited me to church.
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    That's weird, right?
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    >> What is up with my nose hair?
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    >> Crossroads Church: Real people asking real questions.
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    Crossroads Church is a community of people across the country
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    trading isolation for friendship, insecurity for hope.
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    We're pursuing God in the midst of our mess.
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    A God who loves us and takes us on incredible adventures.
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    A full life awaits.
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    Check us out.
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    Hey, Crossroads. Hey, my name is Justin, if we haven't met yet.
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    I'm one of the worship guys around here.
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    Hey, this week is all about growing in purpose.
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    And growing in anything takes intentionality, it takes spending
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    time in something. So one of the ways I'm intentional is about
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    words I speak. I want my words to always be honest.
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    I never want them to be torn apart with what what's true in my
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    heart and my head. And so we're super intentional about the
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    songs we sing around here and how we choose them.
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    And it's why I choose to sing week in, week out when we get
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    together. And so that's what we're gonna do right now, we're
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    gonna start our time with singing to God and connecting with
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    Him in that.
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    So wherever you are, turn it up.
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    Try singing with us.
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    Get in there with us and join us as we connect to God with our
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    songs.
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    One more time, sing it out.
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    Hey, thanks so much for singing with us.
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    You sounded great, by the way, you sounds wonderful.
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    So, hey, one of the -- you know, with worship, worship is
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    everything we have. And so for my family and I, we came to a
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    Crossroads two years ago.
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    And one of the reasons we came to this church and still call it
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    our church to this day is because we believe in what God is
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    doing in this place and we wanted to put our money where our
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    mouth was and invest in the things.
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    We knew by giving our money here, that it was going to do some
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    things we couldn't do just by ourselves or with it sitting in
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    our savings account and things like that.
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    So one of the ways we worship as a family is through giving.
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    If you want to join us in that, if you want to do that part
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    with us too, you can go to Crossroads.net/give,
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    and give there.
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    And right now we're gonna hear a story from somebody who's been
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    impacted by yours and my giving.
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    >> So I'm Dan.
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    >> I'm Alyssa.
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    >> And we go to Crossroads.
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    You know, we grew up Catholic, so we have that background.
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    And then we stopped going as teenagers and kind of rebelled and
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    turned away from God.
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    >> We had heard about Crossroads from friends.
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    >> One day we randomly decided to come and it just happened to
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    be the I Am Journey.
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    >> I was going into a new job.
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    I just had so many questions of, you know, God, what do you
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    want for me? What is my purpose?
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    And the I am Journey was all about purpose.
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    So I don't think there was any coincidence there.
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    God wanted us to be there.
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    I had a lot of questions answered by God during that journey.
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    >> From there, you know, God really put it on our hearts to
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    start serving the church.
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    We both started serving in Kids' Club and started tithing
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    regularly. When the next journey came in --
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    >> We were in a small group at the time.
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    We had a two and a four year old and we thought, there's just
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    no way we're gonna make this happen with our schedule and our
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    girls. I had actually met someone at my work and they had
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    signed up to lead a group and she reached out and said, "Would
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    you and your husband like to do this with us?
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    It's young couples.".
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    And at that point, we were kind of like, "OK, this is something
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    God is wanting us to do."
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    We were both, like, still uncomfortable with the thought of
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    meeting with strangers.
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    >> They're like our best friends now.
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    >> Yeah.
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    >> We still meet every Thursday for small group.
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    >> It's bringing us so much closer, giving us this different
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    relationship with Jesus that we didn't have.
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    As I used to say like, "Oh, Crossroads is this huge mega
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    church." It doesn't feel like a huge church to me anymore.
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    It's not the structure that we're meeting in, it's the people
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    that we're doing this with, that's what the church is.
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    >> Shortly after that journey, we also decided to give our
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    lives to Jesus.
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    And we both got baptized.
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    And from there we saw an immeasurable spiritual growth.
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    We also committed to the I'm In Campaign.
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    God really put on our hearts to do that.
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    It was tough surrendering our finances, but that was one of the
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    biggest takeaways that we got from the Obsessed Journey.
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    There are a lot of open doors here that God has placed and it
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    just takes, you know, the courage to walk through it.
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    And we've walked through a lot of them.
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    So thank you to those of you who give.
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    And we are eternally grateful for the amount of spiritual
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    growth and communal growth that we've gotten from all the stuff
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    that's available here at Crossroads.
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    So from the bottom of Alyssa and my heart we thank you.
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    >> Thank you.
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    >> Welcome to Crossroads Anywhere.
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    I'm Lena Schuler and I'm the Crossroads Anywhere Community
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    Pastor. And today we are in Dallas, Texas, with my new Texan
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    friends here.
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    A few things you should know.
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    One is I've had to put on deodorant about nine times because
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    it's so stinking hot here that I literally stink, part 1.
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    Part 2 is I feel a little bit like it's a sin that I don't
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    drive a Toyota right now because half of the people in this
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    room happen to work for Toyota.
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    Thank you. Shameless plug for a car I don't own.
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    And my third thing is you may get a special surprise if twins
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    are born today during this broadcast, we're just so glad to be
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    with you. And I'm so glad to be with all of you here in
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    actually Frisco, Texas is where I'm standing right now.
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    You know, we're a church that has lots of locations and lots of
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    communities all over the country.
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    And so we get to be in one in a living room right now.
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    And if you live near a Crossroads location, all of your
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    community pastors are actually speaking live this weekend.
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    We believe that God has something unique and special for you to
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    hear, see, feel this weekend that is special to your personal
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    community. And so if you live near a location and you've still
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    got time, head to one of the services that's happening and hear
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    from your community pastor.
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    If you are part of our Crossroads Anywhere community and you
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    don't live near a physical location, man, you get to see and
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    hear and feel and experience one that I'm standing live in
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    right now in Texas.
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    And I believe that God has something special and unique and fun
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    and meaningful for you to hear and experience today from
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    wherever you might be watching from.
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    So as we get into that, you know, I believe that God wants us
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    to be intentional, and that's what we're gonna talk about
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    today.
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    So my husband and I, we actually just moved a month ago.
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    We moved to the suburbs.
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    Deep breath. I'm grieving a little bit of the loss of my city
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    living. And nonetheless, it's the right move.
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    We're closer to family.
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    We're in a house that we can grow our family in.
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    All of the reasons that you move to the suburbs.
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    And I became one of those people when I said I never would.
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    Nevertheless, I actually now live in a house with a yard, and I
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    never had a yard in our old house.
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    We had like this awesome deck that overlooked the skyline of
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    Cincinnati and absolutely zero maintenance outside.
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    And now I have a yard.
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    And in said yard the previous owners really, really loved their
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    landscaping, like so much that they invited us over before we
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    closed on the house to walk us through what all of the plants
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    were around the house and tell us how to prune them and take
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    care of them.
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    Now, you should know, I don't remember a single thing about
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    what is what around the house and how I am to take care of
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    But part of that was that there is a garden in the back.
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    And in this garden, I think that she was growing tomatoes and
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    basil and maybe mozzarella just to round out that caprese
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    salad.
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    Just kidding. I know that mozzarella doesn't come from the
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    ground, you get it at Kroger.
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    Nonetheless, I think that's what was there, but at this point I
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    actually have no idea because this is what my garden looks
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    like. It is full of weeds.
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    Actually, I think those are weeds.
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    I don't even know really what those are.
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    But there is one that no joke is as tall as me.
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    It looks like a freakin Christmas tree growing out of this
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    garden. And here's why that's happening: because I've done
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    nothing to it.
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    I've been absolutely nothing.
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    And so something grew in that garden.
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    I couldn't tell you what it is, but it's definitely not
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    something I want in there.
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    And I tell you that because I think that this is true for life
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    too, all kinds of things grow when we don't mean for them to.
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    All kinds of things are going to grow whether we do something
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    about it or not. And typically the things that we don't
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    intentionally try to grow aren't good things.
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    Weeds, debt, your waistline, the number of crazy exes you have.
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    Those are all things that will just start to grow whether we do
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    something about it or not.
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    And I actually think that in order for good things to grow in
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    our lives, in order for us to personally grow into someone
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    who's better than we are today, we have to be intentional about
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    it. And so that's what we're going to talk about today.
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    And as we sit here in Texas, we are so thankful to Kerry and
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    Chuck Kerns, whose home we're in right now.
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    And, you know, you guys have a really, really sweet story of
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    ways that you have been intentional.
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    And as a result, God has grown really good things in you and
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    through you.
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    And I want our community to get to see that and hear that and
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    experience the goodness of your story and the good things that
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    are growing in your midst.
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    >> Hi, I'm Chuck Kerns
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    >> Hi, I'm Kari Kerns.
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    >> I wasn't raised in a single church, I was raised to believe
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    many different religions and study them.
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    And my parents were kind of more agnostic than anything.
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    So they just kind of left me with a blank at the end of the
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    >> So we first got connected with Crossroads, Crossroads
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    Oakley. We lived in Hyde Park and we were looking for a church
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    community that was a good fit for both of us.
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    Before we decided to look for a church that we would go to
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    Chuck actually had lost his dad and best friend in December.
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    And then in October of the following year, we got married.
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    >> The first time I went in there, I knew I was at home.
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    I felt it in the first five minutes walking into that big
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    warehouse, you know, it just became where I was happy, happy
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    about life again.
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    >> We started the Journey Home and we decided to do it with a
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    group of married couples.
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    It was probably one of the most informative times of our
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    marriage where we really the first time we sat down and had a
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    good look at who we are, what our marriage looks like, who we
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    are as individuals.
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    >> My journey experience was I was still pushing people away.
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    I was still just reserved because I had a lot of negativity
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    still.
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    And by the end of the group, we were talking a little
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    friendlier. We knew each other's names and if they had kids.
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    We had grown into a little community.
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    The community part was a big thing I was missing and that group
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    just kind of started it all.
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    The day I fully received Jesus, Kari and I had been going for a
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    couple of months. Chuck was on stage and he started asking if
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    you want to make the jump or if you want to accept Jesus, come
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    on down. And I had this sort of voice behind me just say, "You
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    should go."
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    >> He looked at me and he was like, "I'm going."
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    And I'm like, "Church isn't over yet, What do you mean you're
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    going? Like you can't just get up?".
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    And when I looked over he was just in tears.
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    And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, where are you going again?"
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    >> I would have dressed differently if I was expecting it, but
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    I think I even went down in my shoes.
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    I did not care. I was ready.
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    >> So we've moved from Cincinnati to Richmond, Virginia, and we
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    were there for three years.
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    And now we are in Dallas, Texas.
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    Leaving Cincinnati was very hard for us, leaving the community
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    that we had built there with Crossroads, our small group, like
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    with our Journey group.
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    >> It was the scariest thing ever.
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    >> When we first moved were still just getting kind of
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    acclimated to the area, figuring out where we were going to
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    live.
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    And Crossroads started sending these emails about looking for
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    group leaders. But I looked at it the first time and just said,
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    you know, I'm not qualified.
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    I saw the email again and decided at that point that I was just
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    going to apply to be a group leader.
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    I intentionally set a reminder once every couple weeks to go to
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    the Crossroads Anywhere map and look to see if there are any
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    new members that had joined the map and maybe just haven't
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    reached out yet. And so I'd reach out and say hi and just give
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    them the information.
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    We moved into our house January 4th.
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    I started a new job January 8th, and I had already sent an
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    email out to our group saying, "Hey, we're gonna have service
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    at the new house on Sunday.
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    Come over."
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    >> This is like 9th, we have 70 boxes here.
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    Nothing's set up.
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    The only chairs were lawn chairs.
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    But, you know, everybody's welcome.
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    Everybody comes and just enjoys each other's company.
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    And we love you. Just just come in and make yourself at home.
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    And being a part of an Anywhere group and creating your
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    community, I definitely feel like I have -- I wouldn't even
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    just say friends, but close friends.
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    People that in fact, we're gonna try to get to a baseball game
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    this weekend. I haven't been able to do that in 10 years.
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    It's very, very surreal.
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    >> Chuck went from me not adding him on the email chains,
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    letting him know that people were coming over to waking up
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    every Sunday morning going, "Are we having people over?
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    Should I make coffee?"
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    Crossroads not only has brought us closer to God, but closer
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    together. And we're so grateful for that.
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    >> I want that for you.
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    I want you to get to experience the life change and the deep
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    community and the relationship with God that Kari and Chuck
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    have gotten to experience.
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    Regardless if right now, you're sitting next to your wife on
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    the couch or you're by yourself driving in the car, I believe
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    God has really, really good things in store for you.
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    And it's going to take intentionality to get there, to get that
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    kind of personal growth, to get that kind of relationship with
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    God, to get that kind of friendship and community that's just
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    life altering.
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    So before we go any further, let me pray.
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    God, I am thankful for the Kerns and their generosity to be in
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    their home right now, thankful for their leadership to get to
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    bring together this group of people in this room at this time
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    to get to experience You get to experience community.
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    And I pray for more of that around the country.
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    I pray that more people will get to experience You and
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    experience community in fresh and growing ways.
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    So use my words today, God, to inspire and to ignite
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    intentionality in each and every one of us to go to a new place
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    with you and a new place in our relationships.
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    Amen.
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    So if you Google intentionality and just look at what Google
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    has to say about that, the definition on Google is something
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    that is done on purpose or something that's very deliberate.
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    And so if we want good things to grow, there are a few things
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    we need to do on purpose, a few things we need to be really
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    intentional about.
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    And the first one is that we have to be intentional with our
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    time.
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    Did you know that you have the same amount of time in a day as
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    Beyonce?
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    Did you know that, Nicholas?
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    No, you didn't. You do.
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    You have the exact same amount of time in a day as Beyonce.
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    And look at what Beyonce's doing.
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    Amazing things.
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    And you might not ever headline Coachella or write a song that
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    the whole world knows, but there are some ways that you could
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    be like Beyonce.
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    But here's the thing, I bet Beyonce doesn't have to wake up in
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    the morning, get her kids fed, get their kids out the door for
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    school, spend time her grandparents, do her dishes, do her
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    budget for work, budget for home, and get the dishes done, make
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    dinner, have great friendships and have fun with her husband
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    all at the same time.
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    I don't think that she has to do all of those things, even if
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    that's exactly what my Monday looked like, it's totally fine.
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    And nonetheless, she's got some pretty successful things going,
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    but she's got to be intentional with her time.
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    I told you what my Monday looked like legitimately.
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    I had all of those things to do.
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    Take my kid to the doctor, make dinner, spend time with my
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    grandparents, show up to all the meetings, create the budget
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    for work and for home and all of the other things that were on
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    my to do list that I did not get to on Monday.
  • 00:33:55
    And I actually think God cares about those things.
  • 00:33:57
    I actually think He cares about how we spend our time and
  • 00:34:00
    what's on our calendar.
  • 00:34:01
    Ephesians 5:15-17 says this:.
  • 00:34:20
    God actually cares about how we spend our time.
  • 00:34:24
    He even says make the best use of your time.
  • 00:34:27
    Don't just let your time happen to you.
  • 00:34:29
    Don't just let your day happen to you.
  • 00:34:31
    Be intentional.
  • 00:34:32
    Make the best use of your time.
  • 00:34:36
    Your calendar is your biggest indicator of what you value.
  • 00:34:40
    If you look at your calendar, it's gonna tell you you value
  • 00:34:44
    entertainment over your kids.
  • 00:34:46
    It's gonna show you you value work over friendships.
  • 00:34:50
    It's gonna show you you value your kids above all else.
  • 00:34:55
    It will show you -- It will show us what we value.
  • 00:34:57
    And if I'm being totally honest, the biggest stressor in my
  • 00:35:00
    life is my stinking calendar.
  • 00:35:03
    When I pull that thing up and I'm like, "I don't have 15
  • 00:35:06
    minutes to spare today until dinner.
  • 00:35:08
    I can like -- my heart starts to race and I sweat a little bit.
  • 00:35:12
    I just get stressed about my calendar.
  • 00:35:15
    And that happens when I'm not intentional about how I'm
  • 00:35:19
    spending my time, when I just let other people put things on my
  • 00:35:23
    calendar, when I let other people put to dos on my calendar,
  • 00:35:26
    when I think I have to do something because everybody's doing
  • 00:35:29
    it. But it actually doesn't really have purpose for me.
  • 00:35:32
    When I was writing this talk the other day.
  • 00:35:35
    Well, when I needed to write this talk the other day, I woke up
  • 00:35:41
    really early in the morning to do it because that's when I
  • 00:35:43
    actually have my best thinking, even though I hate waking up
  • 00:35:45
    early.
  • 00:35:46
    And I woke up before anybody else in my house was up.
  • 00:35:50
    And in the time that I could have been writing this talk or
  • 00:35:55
    finishing my budget or responding to the 205 emails in my
  • 00:36:00
    inbox. If you're one of them, I'm really sorry.
  • 00:36:02
    I'm getting to it, I promise.
  • 00:36:05
    I actually spent the first 45 minutes of my day with God.
  • 00:36:08
    And I did that because I knew all of the things that were
  • 00:36:13
    coming, and yet I felt like if I just did the things on my to
  • 00:36:17
    do list, it wasn't actually the most important thing in that
  • 00:36:20
    moment.
  • 00:36:21
    Now was spending time with God, did that put everything in
  • 00:36:24
    order and all of a sudden I wasn't stressed about anything and
  • 00:36:26
    it was all dandelions and butterflies?
  • 00:36:30
    Wait, that was terrible. Aren't dandelions weeds?
  • 00:36:33
    >> Okay. Butterflies and unicorns.
  • 00:36:37
    Thank you. That's what I"m -- that's exactly what I'm going
  • 00:36:38
    for, butterflies and unicorns.
  • 00:36:40
    It was not that.
  • 00:36:41
    But I will say I had a peace about me.
  • 00:36:44
    I could breathe.
  • 00:36:45
    And the rest of my day, even though it was booked every minute
  • 00:36:49
    up through dinner, it felt so much better because I was
  • 00:36:54
    centered on what was important first thing in the morning.
  • 00:36:57
    I had to be purposeful with that time.
  • 00:37:00
    Now I'm also a person who in general is way more purpose than I
  • 00:37:04
    am play.
  • 00:37:06
    I did community life with Greg MeElfresh, our Eastside
  • 00:37:08
    Community Pastor, a few weeks ago, and he joked.
  • 00:37:10
    And he was like, "You know, like you're all purpose and I'm all
  • 00:37:14
    And I was a little bit offended in the moment, if I'm being
  • 00:37:17
    honest. And that's not any surprise, something coming out of
  • 00:37:20
    Greg's mouth could always be offensive.
  • 00:37:23
    I love him so I can --We're friends.
  • 00:37:25
    I can say that.
  • 00:37:26
    But anyways, I thought about that, I'm like, "Am I really all
  • 00:37:29
    purpose?" And actually, I totally am.
  • 00:37:33
    I have to be really intentional about play because God wants us
  • 00:37:38
    to live a life that's full of purpose and full of play.
  • 00:37:41
    That's the best life we can live, the life that's the fullest
  • 00:37:44
    and the most thriving and the one that's most beautiful to Him.
  • 00:37:48
    And usually we swing one way or the other.
  • 00:37:53
    And so I had to look at my calendar and go, "Oh, my goodness, I
  • 00:37:56
    am full of purposeful things, not all that much play."
  • 00:38:00
    And so I have to intentionally after dinner make the decision
  • 00:38:03
    to not do the dishes until after my son goes to bed so that I
  • 00:38:07
    can just play with him outside.
  • 00:38:09
    Because otherwise I want things to be neat and in order and get
  • 00:38:12
    things done and feel accomplished.
  • 00:38:13
    And I miss the moments to jump on the trampoline or to play in
  • 00:38:17
    the water table or to take the wagon out for a spin.
  • 00:38:20
    I miss those moments if I'm not intentional about them.
  • 00:38:24
    I grew up playing tennis and I actually am -- I think I'm
  • 00:38:31
    actually pretty good at tennis if I do say so myself.
  • 00:38:34
    Maybe just because I grew up playing competitively.
  • 00:38:37
    And I hate to tell you right now that I've actually not played
  • 00:38:41
    tennis in over two years.
  • 00:38:44
    And it was such a huge part of my life and it brings me such
  • 00:38:47
    joy because it's purely play.
  • 00:38:49
    And so I recognize that moving forward I have to be way more
  • 00:38:53
    intentional about actually playing tennis so I have outlets for
  • 00:38:57
    that.
  • 00:38:59
    This idea of purpose and play is one that we've been talking
  • 00:39:02
    about, you're going to hear way more because we're doing a
  • 00:39:05
    whole all church Journey on Play & Purpose.
  • 00:39:09
    And I'm really excited to go through that.
  • 00:39:11
    Part of the reasons I'm -- one of the reasons I'm excited to go
  • 00:39:13
    through that is because these Journey experiences where we get
  • 00:39:17
    weekend teaching and group content and individual challenges
  • 00:39:20
    during the week have dramatically changed my life over the last
  • 00:39:24
    15 years.
  • 00:39:25
    One of the Journeys that I did was in college.
  • 00:39:29
    It was the Journey Home.
  • 00:39:30
    And in the midst of that, in college, I don't know what your
  • 00:39:34
    college experience was like or what your college experience is
  • 00:39:37
    like right now, but it was a heck of a lot of play for me.
  • 00:39:41
    A lot of play, not much purpose outside of class.
  • 00:39:46
    And so there was this yearning in me for like a little more
  • 00:39:51
    purpose. And I didn't know what or how.
  • 00:39:53
    And so at Crossroads we were talking about this Journey and
  • 00:39:57
    everybody should get into a group and lead a group and join a
  • 00:40:00
    group. And I thought, "Well.
  • 00:40:04
    Maybe this is something I should do, it sounds a little bit
  • 00:40:07
    more meaningful than heading to Happy Hour or going to that
  • 00:40:13
    party or whatever the thing was."
  • 00:40:15
    And so a few friends and I invited in a few other friends to my
  • 00:40:19
    house in college to do the Journey Home.
  • 00:40:22
    And I remember vividly having 17 people around my college
  • 00:40:26
    living room.
  • 00:40:27
    People were like on the floor, out in like little hallway.
  • 00:40:32
    And we did this Journey and I felt this sense of purpose and
  • 00:40:38
    meaning. And like I was doing something intentional and good
  • 00:40:43
    and right that was going to put my life on a different
  • 00:40:45
    trajectory.
  • 00:40:46
    And out of that Journey is actually how Crossroads Uptown was
  • 00:40:49
    born, out of being intentional with my time when I could have
  • 00:40:54
    been doing so many other things, I chose to do the Journey and
  • 00:40:59
    a freakin church was started.
  • 00:41:02
    I didn't see that one coming.
  • 00:41:04
    Maybe the intentional thing that you need to do with your time
  • 00:41:07
    is going to start a thriving community in the city where you
  • 00:41:10
    live, maybe even a church.
  • 00:41:13
    Maybe that's what's going to happen right here in Dallas.
  • 00:41:15
    That is what's happening right here in Dallas when you choose
  • 00:41:18
    to be intentional with your time.
  • 00:41:20
    So if it's not a heck, yes, it's a no, thank you.
  • 00:41:24
    Those are your options when it comes to your calendar.
  • 00:41:26
    If it's not a heck, yes, it's a no, thank you, because we want
  • 00:41:29
    to be intentional with our time if we want good things to grow.
  • 00:41:33
    And the second thing that is really important when we're
  • 00:41:37
    looking at wanting good growth and good things to happen is if
  • 00:41:40
    we want good growth in our life, we have to be intentional with
  • 00:41:45
    who we spend our time with.
  • 00:41:51
    It's one thing to get the right things on your calendar at the
  • 00:41:53
    right times. It's a whole nother thing to do the things with
  • 00:41:59
    people who are going to have fun with you and sharpen you,
  • 00:42:05
    actually make you better.
  • 00:42:07
    And in the Bible this is talked about.
  • 00:42:12
    It's talked about in Hebrews 10 and it says this:.
  • 00:42:33
    Now, this scripture is wildly important for us as a church
  • 00:42:37
    because we want to do everything we possibly can so that you
  • 00:42:42
    hear about Jesus in a language you can understand, so that your
  • 00:42:45
    friends and your family and your neighbors hear about Jesus in
  • 00:42:49
    a language they can understand.
  • 00:42:50
    So one of the things, one of the hills we're always going to
  • 00:42:53
    die on is culturally current communication.
  • 00:42:56
    The way that you would find out about something else, we want
  • 00:43:00
    you to find out about Jesus.
  • 00:43:01
    And so that's why we have the app and we have streaming and we
  • 00:43:05
    have a great Website.
  • 00:43:06
    And you can read articles and listen to podcasts because the
  • 00:43:10
    same ways you would consume other things, we want you to be
  • 00:43:13
    able to consume something that's going to take you deeper in a
  • 00:43:16
    relationship with God.
  • 00:43:17
    And at the same time, we believe really, really deeply in the
  • 00:43:22
    scripture and Hebrews 10 that we can't neglect meeting together
  • 00:43:27
    and encouraging one another and being with other people.
  • 00:43:31
    And so if you're just checking out the church for the first few
  • 00:43:34
    times or you're on your way to or from somewhere and you're
  • 00:43:39
    streaming, you're watching online.
  • 00:43:41
    We are so, so, so glad to have you.
  • 00:43:43
    If you're in a city where there's not a physical Crossroads
  • 00:43:46
    location and this is your church, we are so glad to have you
  • 00:43:50
    online.
  • 00:43:51
    It is a privilege and an honor to get to have you as part of
  • 00:43:54
    our church.
  • 00:43:55
    And I hope that you are not stopping at watching or listening
  • 00:44:00
    or reading by yourself, that you're not neglecting to spend
  • 00:44:04
    time with other people, because that's where we get the best
  • 00:44:09
    kind of growth. That's where we get the good stuff.
  • 00:44:11
    Not the weeds, but the tulips, not the weeds, but the daisies,
  • 00:44:17
    not dandelions, is when we actually get to spend time with
  • 00:44:20
    other people.
  • 00:44:23
    We have opportunities to do this all the time, and yet we often
  • 00:44:28
    just choose not to because it's easier to do the thing by
  • 00:44:31
    myself or it's easier to do the thing with my high school
  • 00:44:33
    friends or it's easier to do the thing with the neighbor.
  • 00:44:37
    And that's really, really important.
  • 00:44:40
    You have to build those relationships.
  • 00:44:42
    We have to build those relationships.
  • 00:44:43
    And we can't only be in relationships that are convenient in
  • 00:44:47
    the moment.
  • 00:44:48
    We need to be intentional with spending time with people who we
  • 00:44:52
    actually enjoy being with, who are fun and are going to bring
  • 00:44:57
    us more play in our lives.
  • 00:44:59
    And with people who are going to sharpen us, who are going to
  • 00:45:04
    encourage us, as that verse says, and who are going to bring
  • 00:45:08
    more purpose into our lives.
  • 00:45:11
    One of the other journeys that I got the joy of doing over the
  • 00:45:16
    last few years at Crossroads was the Obsessed Journey.
  • 00:45:20
    That was the last journey that we did about 18 months ago or
  • 00:45:24
    so.
  • 00:45:25
    It was the first journey that my husband and I did together
  • 00:45:29
    married. I think that's right, I think it was the first one.
  • 00:45:32
    Nothing says you're married like a Journey about your finances,
  • 00:45:35
    right?
  • 00:45:37
    It was all about money and about how our money declares what
  • 00:45:40
    we're obsessed with. And so we thought this would be a really
  • 00:45:43
    good time to try to make some other married friends.
  • 00:45:47
    We had lots of friends separate.
  • 00:45:49
    We had some single friends, older friends, younger friends, we
  • 00:45:51
    had some married friends. But we didn't have anybody who we
  • 00:45:54
    weren't intentionally spending our time with in order to make
  • 00:45:58
    life more fun and to make life more meaningful.
  • 00:46:02
    And so we said, OK, this is the time.
  • 00:46:04
    So we knew a few couples that we were like, we think we could
  • 00:46:08
    be friends with them, but we're not exactly sure.
  • 00:46:10
    Like, how do you go about making new friends when you just get
  • 00:46:13
    married?
  • 00:46:14
    I don't know. If you figured it out, more power to you.
  • 00:46:17
    This was our best shot.
  • 00:46:19
    It might be your best shot, the Journey coming up, to make some
  • 00:46:22
    new married friends, but nonetheless.
  • 00:46:23
    So we invited these people into our house and we did the
  • 00:46:27
    Journey together. And it was probably our very first night, one
  • 00:46:32
    of the couples who really didn't know anybody else in the room
  • 00:46:35
    said -- the wife totally outed the husband, totally and said,
  • 00:46:41
    "I just want you to know that on our drive here, Johnny said,
  • 00:46:44
    'I hope that these people aren't a bunch of duds.'"
  • 00:46:47
    And so we go into this first meeting like, oh, no, we've got to
  • 00:46:51
    prove ourselves. I hope we're not duds.
  • 00:46:53
    Are we duds?
  • 00:46:55
    So the whole Journey was this ongoing joke, like, "OK, so are
  • 00:47:00
    we out of the dud category yet or are we still duds?".
  • 00:47:04
    And, you know, I think that's a real risk when we intentionally
  • 00:47:07
    spend time with people there's this fear that maybe they're
  • 00:47:12
    going to be really boring or really weird or maybe I'm gonna be
  • 00:47:15
    the really boring or the really weird one in the room.
  • 00:47:18
    Maybe I'm a dud.
  • 00:47:19
    We have those fears.
  • 00:47:21
    They're real and I get it.
  • 00:47:22
    And if you have those fears, they're real and I get it.
  • 00:47:27
    I'll say in that Journey group, man, those people became the
  • 00:47:31
    most non-duds in my life.
  • 00:47:34
    So much fun, so much purpose.
  • 00:47:37
    We've now gone camping together.
  • 00:47:39
    We've continued meeting together as a group.
  • 00:47:42
    We get our kids together.
  • 00:47:43
    We've celebrated new homes together.
  • 00:47:46
    We've dug into hard stuff in our marriages together.
  • 00:47:49
    It's been so good.
  • 00:47:50
    And it started by taking a step and saying, "OK, we're
  • 00:47:53
    intentionally going to put this thing on our calendar and we've
  • 00:47:56
    intentionally decided you're the people we want to do this
  • 00:48:01
    with."
  • 00:48:02
    If we want a life that is good and growing.
  • 00:48:05
    We have to be intentional with who we spend our time with.
  • 00:48:08
    Man, if those people can be people that you can play with and
  • 00:48:14
    have purpose with, oh, life gets so, so, so much better.
  • 00:48:20
    The last point is that if we want to see good things grow in
  • 00:48:26
    our lives, we have to be intentional with what we do with those
  • 00:48:31
    people.
  • 00:48:32
    It doesn't stop with, "OK.
  • 00:48:34
    We've carved out some time and we invited the people.
  • 00:48:37
    Now lives can be great.".
  • 00:48:39
    I'll tell you, this group that we did the Obsessed Journey
  • 00:48:41
    with, we've struggled with this where we've carved out time.
  • 00:48:46
    We really like each other.
  • 00:48:48
    And then sometimes we'll get around the dinner table or we'll
  • 00:48:50
    get into someone's living room and we've not been intentional
  • 00:48:53
    about what we're gonna do.
  • 00:48:55
    And we end up just having totally like surface level talk and
  • 00:48:59
    walk out and go, "I think that was fun.
  • 00:49:01
    Was it? Was it fun?"
  • 00:49:02
    And then we've had to talk about that after the fact and go,
  • 00:49:05
    "Okay. We weren't really intentional about was this supposed to
  • 00:49:09
    be like a really fun time together?
  • 00:49:11
    Was this supposed to be a really purposeful time together?"
  • 00:49:14
    And so I will say, even if you've got the first two of time and
  • 00:49:19
    people, there's a whole another layer of being intentional
  • 00:49:23
    about what you do with those people.
  • 00:49:28
    Jesus gives us a starting point for how to have good fruit, not
  • 00:49:33
    weeds, good fruit that come out of us growing in our lives.
  • 00:49:39
    And he says this in John, 15.
  • 00:49:41
    PSA, if you're looking for like a good chapter of the Bible to
  • 00:49:45
    just spend a lot of time on over like a whole month, just kind
  • 00:49:50
    of verse by verse, John 15 is a great one because it's packed
  • 00:49:53
    full of all kinds of rich things that you can go, "What does
  • 00:49:56
    this say about God and what does this say about me?"
  • 00:49:59
    So I'm going to read you a few of these verses and here's what
  • 00:50:01
    it says. Jesus says:.
  • 00:50:21
    Or maybe he's like a weed
  • 00:50:41
    Jesus says, "You want good things to grow, fruit to grow?
  • 00:50:45
    Well, you've got to spend time with me.
  • 00:50:48
    You've got to be on the same page as me.
  • 00:50:50
    You've got to recognize that you belong to me."
  • 00:50:55
    I think we all want life that's vibrant and meaningful.
  • 00:51:00
    And yet many of us live lives that are stressful and boring.
  • 00:51:06
    God wants to offer us a life that prospers and is also actually
  • 00:51:13
    really fun to live.
  • 00:51:17
    The mission of our lives can become really, really clear if we
  • 00:51:21
    get really, really clear on who Jesus is and what he means to
  • 00:51:25
    us.
  • 00:51:27
    And the cool thing is we can put Him to the test, these versus
  • 00:51:30
    and see if He delivers.
  • 00:51:32
    Can we spend more time with Him and become more like Him and
  • 00:51:35
    see if actually good things start to grow?
  • 00:51:38
    Because I mean, I don't know what the risk is in doing that
  • 00:51:41
    other than good things could grow and whatever we ask for will
  • 00:51:47
    be done for us.
  • 00:51:48
    That's what this verse says.
  • 00:51:49
    I want that.
  • 00:51:51
    If we carve out time, be intentional about who we spend that
  • 00:51:57
    time with and then we go after God with those people in some
  • 00:52:01
    way, shape or form, not always in like a really deep and heavy
  • 00:52:06
    way, but sometimes in a light and fun and joyful way, our lives
  • 00:52:13
    are going to change.
  • 00:52:14
    We are going to grow and good things are gonna start to spring
  • 00:52:19
    out of us.
  • 00:52:20
    And I want that for you.
  • 00:52:21
    I want that for me.
  • 00:52:23
    As a teenager is when I did my very first life -- or I did my
  • 00:52:28
    very first Journey. It was called the Life Journey.
  • 00:52:32
    And once again, it was like the whole church is doing groups,
  • 00:52:35
    so get in a group. And I said, OK.
  • 00:52:39
    And so I got in a group with a bunch of other teenage girls and
  • 00:52:43
    a really kind, sweet, crazy 20 something that decided to lead
  • 00:52:49
    teenagers through the Journey.
  • 00:52:51
    Her name's Sarah.
  • 00:52:53
    And we started to do this Journey group together.
  • 00:52:56
    And in the midst of it we had all kinds of play and all kinds
  • 00:52:59
    of purpose and all kinds of fun and all kinds of meaning.
  • 00:53:02
    And that group continued to meet together.
  • 00:53:04
    And we met as a group.
  • 00:53:06
    We did -- We went on a Go Trip together.
  • 00:53:11
    We went on vacations together.
  • 00:53:13
    We celebrated together.
  • 00:53:14
    We went through different books of the Bible together.
  • 00:53:17
    And 15 years later, two of those girls were standing next to me
  • 00:53:21
    on my wedding day.
  • 00:53:23
    That leader, I still get beers with just about every Tuesday
  • 00:53:27
    night.
  • 00:53:28
    We're now in a group together.
  • 00:53:32
    Another Journey that I did, the Brave Journey, in the midst of
  • 00:53:36
    that I was single, just out of college.
  • 00:53:40
    And I decided to host in my little tiny apartment and I invited
  • 00:53:46
    all kinds of random friends into it who I really loved and they
  • 00:53:50
    were people I intentionally wanted to spend time with.
  • 00:53:53
    They weren't part of the church.
  • 00:53:54
    They just were people I liked and wanted to spend time with.
  • 00:53:57
    And so all these people said yes, because one of two things,
  • 00:54:01
    either one, they wanted to spend their time going deeper with
  • 00:54:06
    God. That was like maybe three of them.
  • 00:54:09
    The other eight just said yes, because they liked me and were
  • 00:54:12
    good friends.
  • 00:54:14
    Actually, one of them I didn't even tell this was a church
  • 00:54:16
    group. I just said she was coming over for a wine night.
  • 00:54:19
    A little bait and switch.
  • 00:54:22
    Nevertheless, that girl ended up receiving Jesus shortly after
  • 00:54:27
    that. And I got the joy of getting to baptize her.
  • 00:54:29
    And now she leads a community of people.
  • 00:54:32
    In the midst of that Journey I heard God really clearly say
  • 00:54:34
    that I needed to completely let go of an unhealthy relationship
  • 00:54:38
    that I was holding on to.
  • 00:54:39
    And I didn't want to do it. I was like, OH, I don't think
  • 00:54:42
    that's right.
  • 00:54:43
    And I was actually embarrassed to say that in a room full of
  • 00:54:45
    people, because who wants to say that?
  • 00:54:47
    And who wants to like, go there?
  • 00:54:50
    But I did.
  • 00:54:51
    They were like, "Yep, I think that's right.
  • 00:54:53
    I think you need to just cut that off."
  • 00:54:55
    And so I did what they said.
  • 00:54:56
    I did what God said. And it was that week that I met my now
  • 00:55:00
    husband.
  • 00:55:02
    It was because of setting aside time, being intentional with
  • 00:55:07
    who I was spending time with and intentional about what we did
  • 00:55:09
    together, that I've gotten so many great gifts from God over
  • 00:55:15
    the last few years.
  • 00:55:17
    In the Book of James, it actually talks just about this.
  • 00:55:21
    James, one says:.
  • 00:55:31
    I believe that there is a really good gift waiting for you from
  • 00:55:34
    God. A perfect gift that's on the other side of intentionality.
  • 00:55:40
    It's on the other side of being intentional.
  • 00:55:45
    Maybe it's friends to stand next to you on your wedding day.
  • 00:55:49
    Maybe it's a friend who's still gonna be your friend 15 years
  • 00:55:53
    from now, that you're still gonna get drinks with.
  • 00:55:56
    Maybe it's the friends who you actually will get the joy of
  • 00:56:00
    watching their lives completely change and entering into a
  • 00:56:04
    relationship with God for the very first time.
  • 00:56:07
    Maybe it's that God wants you to start a church.
  • 00:56:10
    He wants you to start a beautiful, thriving community in the
  • 00:56:14
    city that you're in that will flourish and become a full and
  • 00:56:19
    beautiful and thriving church.
  • 00:56:22
    Maybe it's that He just wants you to have friends who aren't
  • 00:56:25
    duds.
  • 00:56:26
    Maybe He's got some non-dud friends waiting for you.
  • 00:56:30
    Maybe it's your husband or your wife.
  • 00:56:33
    Maybe it's purely just a deepened relationship with Him.
  • 00:56:38
    Those are a few of the good gifts that I've received from God
  • 00:56:41
    in the midst of being intentional with my time and my people
  • 00:56:45
    and the stuff I do with those people.
  • 00:56:48
    And really, really specifically, those are all very specific
  • 00:56:53
    gifts from God that came when I was intentional about getting
  • 00:56:57
    into a group.
  • 00:56:59
    When I was intentional about doing the All-Church Journey.
  • 00:57:04
    That feels like, man, we get up here and we talk about this and
  • 00:57:07
    we say this all the time, "Get with other people, get with a
  • 00:57:10
    group, do the Journey, it's gonna be amazing.".
  • 00:57:13
    And I'm telling you, get with people, get in a group, do the
  • 00:57:19
    Journey, it's going to be amazing.
  • 00:57:22
    Because I believe that God has for you a life that is full of
  • 00:57:25
    play and purpose, a life that's thriving and full and enjoyable
  • 00:57:32
    and one that's more godlike for you.
  • 00:57:38
    And I've experienced really, really good gifts from God in the
  • 00:57:41
    midst of going out on a limb and joining a Journey group or
  • 00:57:45
    hosting a Journey group.
  • 00:57:47
    And I believe God has a really, really good gifts for you on
  • 00:57:50
    the other side of being intentional in that.
  • 00:57:54
    No one's going to like know right now if you do or don't do
  • 00:57:58
    this. I can't force you into anything, but I can tell you that
  • 00:58:04
    if you don't do this, you might miss out on something really
  • 00:58:08
    special.
  • 00:58:09
    And this is one of the ways that there could be good fruit
  • 00:58:13
    instead of weeds that grow in your life.
  • 00:58:20
    Let's pray.
  • 00:58:21
    God, we thank You for this opportunity to get to spend time
  • 00:58:24
    with You and with other people.
  • 00:58:26
    And I just ask that You would be showing us the places that we
  • 00:58:30
    need to be intentional with our time, who we need to spend that
  • 00:58:34
    time with and what You want us to do with those people.
  • 00:58:37
    And God, I pray that there would be thousands of us this
  • 00:58:39
    weekend that would sign up to lead and join Journey groups.
  • 00:58:44
    Be bringing to mind the people that You want us to invite to do
  • 00:58:48
    the Journey with us, our friends and our neighbors and our
  • 00:58:51
    co-workers, God, who want a little more play and a little more
  • 00:58:55
    purpose in their lives.
  • 00:58:57
    Bring us closer to You in the midst of this.
  • 00:59:00
    Amen.
  • 00:59:03
    Hey, thanks so much for joining us on Crossroads Anywhere this
  • 00:59:06
    weekend.
  • 00:59:07
    Don't forget that if you are normally part of another
  • 00:59:10
    Crossroads community, you can check out what your community
  • 00:59:13
    pastor had to say this weekend live at the site.
  • 00:59:16
    You can head to Crossroads Facebook page actually to start
  • 00:59:20
    following your local Facebook page, whether it's Crossroads
  • 00:59:23
    Mason or Crossroads Florence or Crossroads Anywhere.
  • 00:59:27
    And you'll get all kinds of great videos, great content and
  • 00:59:30
    stuff directly from your community pastor there.
  • 00:59:34
    Next week, we get to hear from Brian Tome, our Senior Pastor,
  • 00:59:38
    and see what his adventure to Phantom Lake was like just a few
  • 00:59:43
    months ago.
  • 00:59:44
    We'll see you back next week.
  • 00:59:45
    Don't forget to sign up for the Play & Purpose Journey.
  • 00:59:48
    See you later.
Process, journal or discuss the themes of this article - here's a few questions to get the ball rolling...

Welcome to the Chaser—a few questions after the weekend service to start conversations. If this is your first time in a group, or your group has new members, take a few minutes and introduce yourself. Two truths and a lie is always a good place to start.

  1. No matter where you saw service this week, it’s possible you saw a totally different message than the other people in the group. (Wild, eh?) Share the message that you heard and what stuck out to you.

  2. Growth isn’t accidental. Think of the one thing you’re best at. (Like cooking, or skateboarding, or frisbee golf.) How did you get good?

  3. Getting good takes time. So, let’s do an exercise. Open your calendar for the last week. What kept you busy? And of those things, what were choices and what were obligations?

  4. Let’s continue with this exercise. Look at the next month. Imagine you have the power to highlight, select all, and hit delete, for all your events. The time is yours. What is one thing you actually WANT to do in the next month?

  5. Last part of the exercise. Read Romans 12:1-2 out loud. If you wanted to intentionally do what this verse says in the next month, what would you do?

More from the Weekend

The Journey starts in two weeks. And you need to be a part of it. Commit, as a group, to do the journey today. How’s that for a challenge?

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Aug 31, 2019 1 hr 2 sec

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