Grow on Purpose

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>> Am I as good looking as I think I am?

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>> I wonder where normal people find friends.

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>> I wonder if the kids notice I'm missing.

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>> Mommy, where are you?

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>> Can miracles really happen?

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>> Hey, Siri, is God real?

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>> If God exists, can he see me right now?

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>> Should I be taking my kids to church?

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>> How much was that one way ticket to Amsterdam?

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>> Jim invited me to church.

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That's weird, right?

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>> What is up with my nose hair?

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>> Crossroads Church: Real people asking real questions.

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Crossroads Church is a community of people across the country

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trading isolation for friendship, insecurity for hope.

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We're pursuing God in the midst of our mess.

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A God who loves us and takes us on incredible adventures.

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A full life awaits.

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Check us out.

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Hey, Crossroads. Hey, my name is Justin, if we haven't met yet.

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I'm one of the worship guys around here.

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Hey, this week is all about growing in purpose.

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And growing in anything takes intentionality, it takes spending

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time in something. So one of the ways I'm intentional is about

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words I speak. I want my words to always be honest.

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I never want them to be torn apart with what what's true in my

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heart and my head. And so we're super intentional about the

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songs we sing around here and how we choose them.

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And it's why I choose to sing week in, week out when we get

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together. And so that's what we're gonna do right now, we're

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gonna start our time with singing to God and connecting with

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Him in that.

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So wherever you are, turn it up.

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Try singing with us.

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Get in there with us and join us as we connect to God with our

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songs.

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One more time, sing it out.

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Hey, thanks so much for singing with us.

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You sounded great, by the way, you sounds wonderful.

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So, hey, one of the -- you know, with worship, worship is

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everything we have. And so for my family and I, we came to a

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Crossroads two years ago.

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And one of the reasons we came to this church and still call it

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our church to this day is because we believe in what God is

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doing in this place and we wanted to put our money where our

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mouth was and invest in the things.

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We knew by giving our money here, that it was going to do some

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things we couldn't do just by ourselves or with it sitting in

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our savings account and things like that.

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So one of the ways we worship as a family is through giving.

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If you want to join us in that, if you want to do that part

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with us too, you can go to Crossroads.net/give,

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and give there.

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And right now we're gonna hear a story from somebody who's been

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impacted by yours and my giving.

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>> So I'm Dan.

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>> I'm Alyssa.

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>> And we go to Crossroads.

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You know, we grew up Catholic, so we have that background.

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And then we stopped going as teenagers and kind of rebelled and

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turned away from God.

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>> We had heard about Crossroads from friends.

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>> One day we randomly decided to come and it just happened to

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be the I Am Journey.

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>> I was going into a new job.

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I just had so many questions of, you know, God, what do you

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want for me? What is my purpose?

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And the I am Journey was all about purpose.

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So I don't think there was any coincidence there.

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God wanted us to be there.

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I had a lot of questions answered by God during that journey.

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>> From there, you know, God really put it on our hearts to

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start serving the church.

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We both started serving in Kids' Club and started tithing

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regularly. When the next journey came in --

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>> We were in a small group at the time.

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We had a two and a four year old and we thought, there's just

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no way we're gonna make this happen with our schedule and our

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girls. I had actually met someone at my work and they had

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signed up to lead a group and she reached out and said, "Would

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you and your husband like to do this with us?

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It's young couples.".

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And at that point, we were kind of like, "OK, this is something

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God is wanting us to do."

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We were both, like, still uncomfortable with the thought of

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meeting with strangers.

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>> They're like our best friends now.

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>> Yeah.

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>> We still meet every Thursday for small group.

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>> It's bringing us so much closer, giving us this different

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relationship with Jesus that we didn't have.

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As I used to say like, "Oh, Crossroads is this huge mega

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church." It doesn't feel like a huge church to me anymore.

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It's not the structure that we're meeting in, it's the people

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that we're doing this with, that's what the church is.

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>> Shortly after that journey, we also decided to give our

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lives to Jesus.

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And we both got baptized.

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And from there we saw an immeasurable spiritual growth.

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We also committed to the I'm In Campaign.

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God really put on our hearts to do that.

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It was tough surrendering our finances, but that was one of the

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biggest takeaways that we got from the Obsessed Journey.

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There are a lot of open doors here that God has placed and it

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just takes, you know, the courage to walk through it.

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And we've walked through a lot of them.

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So thank you to those of you who give.

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And we are eternally grateful for the amount of spiritual

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growth and communal growth that we've gotten from all the stuff

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that's available here at Crossroads.

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So from the bottom of Alyssa and my heart we thank you.

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>> Thank you.

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>> Welcome to Crossroads Anywhere.

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I'm Lena Schuler and I'm the Crossroads Anywhere Community

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Pastor. And today we are in Dallas, Texas, with my new Texan

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friends here.

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A few things you should know.

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One is I've had to put on deodorant about nine times because

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it's so stinking hot here that I literally stink, part 1.

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Part 2 is I feel a little bit like it's a sin that I don't

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drive a Toyota right now because half of the people in this

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room happen to work for Toyota.

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Thank you. Shameless plug for a car I don't own.

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And my third thing is you may get a special surprise if twins

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are born today during this broadcast, we're just so glad to be

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with you. And I'm so glad to be with all of you here in

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actually Frisco, Texas is where I'm standing right now.

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You know, we're a church that has lots of locations and lots of

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communities all over the country.

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And so we get to be in one in a living room right now.

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And if you live near a Crossroads location, all of your

00:22:00

community pastors are actually speaking live this weekend.

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We believe that God has something unique and special for you to

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hear, see, feel this weekend that is special to your personal

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community. And so if you live near a location and you've still

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got time, head to one of the services that's happening and hear

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from your community pastor.

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If you are part of our Crossroads Anywhere community and you

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don't live near a physical location, man, you get to see and

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hear and feel and experience one that I'm standing live in

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right now in Texas.

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And I believe that God has something special and unique and fun

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and meaningful for you to hear and experience today from

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wherever you might be watching from.

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So as we get into that, you know, I believe that God wants us

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to be intentional, and that's what we're gonna talk about

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today.

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So my husband and I, we actually just moved a month ago.

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We moved to the suburbs.

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Deep breath. I'm grieving a little bit of the loss of my city

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living. And nonetheless, it's the right move.

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We're closer to family.

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We're in a house that we can grow our family in.

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All of the reasons that you move to the suburbs.

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And I became one of those people when I said I never would.

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Nevertheless, I actually now live in a house with a yard, and I

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never had a yard in our old house.

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We had like this awesome deck that overlooked the skyline of

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Cincinnati and absolutely zero maintenance outside.

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And now I have a yard.

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And in said yard the previous owners really, really loved their

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landscaping, like so much that they invited us over before we

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closed on the house to walk us through what all of the plants

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were around the house and tell us how to prune them and take

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care of them.

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Now, you should know, I don't remember a single thing about

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what is what around the house and how I am to take care of

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But part of that was that there is a garden in the back.

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And in this garden, I think that she was growing tomatoes and

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basil and maybe mozzarella just to round out that caprese

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salad.

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Just kidding. I know that mozzarella doesn't come from the

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ground, you get it at Kroger.

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Nonetheless, I think that's what was there, but at this point I

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actually have no idea because this is what my garden looks

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like. It is full of weeds.

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Actually, I think those are weeds.

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I don't even know really what those are.

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But there is one that no joke is as tall as me.

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It looks like a freakin Christmas tree growing out of this

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garden. And here's why that's happening: because I've done

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nothing to it.

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I've been absolutely nothing.

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And so something grew in that garden.

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I couldn't tell you what it is, but it's definitely not

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something I want in there.

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And I tell you that because I think that this is true for life

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too, all kinds of things grow when we don't mean for them to.

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All kinds of things are going to grow whether we do something

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about it or not. And typically the things that we don't

00:25:20

intentionally try to grow aren't good things.

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Weeds, debt, your waistline, the number of crazy exes you have.

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Those are all things that will just start to grow whether we do

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something about it or not.

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And I actually think that in order for good things to grow in

00:25:38

our lives, in order for us to personally grow into someone

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who's better than we are today, we have to be intentional about

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it. And so that's what we're going to talk about today.

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And as we sit here in Texas, we are so thankful to Kerry and

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Chuck Kerns, whose home we're in right now.

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And, you know, you guys have a really, really sweet story of

00:26:02

ways that you have been intentional.

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And as a result, God has grown really good things in you and

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through you.

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And I want our community to get to see that and hear that and

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experience the goodness of your story and the good things that

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are growing in your midst.

00:26:21

>> Hi, I'm Chuck Kerns

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>> Hi, I'm Kari Kerns.

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>> I wasn't raised in a single church, I was raised to believe

00:26:28

many different religions and study them.

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And my parents were kind of more agnostic than anything.

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So they just kind of left me with a blank at the end of the

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>> So we first got connected with Crossroads, Crossroads

00:26:41

Oakley. We lived in Hyde Park and we were looking for a church

00:26:44

community that was a good fit for both of us.

00:26:49

Before we decided to look for a church that we would go to

00:26:54

Chuck actually had lost his dad and best friend in December.

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And then in October of the following year, we got married.

00:27:03

>> The first time I went in there, I knew I was at home.

00:27:06

I felt it in the first five minutes walking into that big

00:27:10

warehouse, you know, it just became where I was happy, happy

00:27:13

about life again.

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>> We started the Journey Home and we decided to do it with a

00:27:21

group of married couples.

00:27:23

It was probably one of the most informative times of our

00:27:28

marriage where we really the first time we sat down and had a

00:27:32

good look at who we are, what our marriage looks like, who we

00:27:36

are as individuals.

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>> My journey experience was I was still pushing people away.

00:27:40

I was still just reserved because I had a lot of negativity

00:27:44

still.

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And by the end of the group, we were talking a little

00:27:47

friendlier. We knew each other's names and if they had kids.

00:27:51

We had grown into a little community.

00:27:52

The community part was a big thing I was missing and that group

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just kind of started it all.

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The day I fully received Jesus, Kari and I had been going for a

00:28:04

couple of months. Chuck was on stage and he started asking if

00:28:07

you want to make the jump or if you want to accept Jesus, come

00:28:10

on down. And I had this sort of voice behind me just say, "You

00:28:13

should go."

00:28:14

>> He looked at me and he was like, "I'm going."

00:28:17

And I'm like, "Church isn't over yet, What do you mean you're

00:28:19

going? Like you can't just get up?".

00:28:20

And when I looked over he was just in tears.

00:28:24

And I'm like, "Whoa, whoa, where are you going again?"

00:28:28

>> I would have dressed differently if I was expecting it, but

00:28:32

I think I even went down in my shoes.

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I did not care. I was ready.

00:28:35

>> So we've moved from Cincinnati to Richmond, Virginia, and we

00:28:38

were there for three years.

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And now we are in Dallas, Texas.

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Leaving Cincinnati was very hard for us, leaving the community

00:28:46

that we had built there with Crossroads, our small group, like

00:28:51

with our Journey group.

00:28:53

>> It was the scariest thing ever.

00:28:55

>> When we first moved were still just getting kind of

00:28:58

acclimated to the area, figuring out where we were going to

00:29:01

live.

00:29:02

And Crossroads started sending these emails about looking for

00:29:07

group leaders. But I looked at it the first time and just said,

00:29:11

you know, I'm not qualified.

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I saw the email again and decided at that point that I was just

00:29:19

going to apply to be a group leader.

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I intentionally set a reminder once every couple weeks to go to

00:29:26

the Crossroads Anywhere map and look to see if there are any

00:29:29

new members that had joined the map and maybe just haven't

00:29:32

reached out yet. And so I'd reach out and say hi and just give

00:29:36

them the information.

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We moved into our house January 4th.

00:29:39

I started a new job January 8th, and I had already sent an

00:29:43

email out to our group saying, "Hey, we're gonna have service

00:29:46

at the new house on Sunday.

00:29:47

Come over."

00:29:48

>> This is like 9th, we have 70 boxes here.

00:29:51

Nothing's set up.

00:29:53

The only chairs were lawn chairs.

00:29:56

But, you know, everybody's welcome.

00:29:58

Everybody comes and just enjoys each other's company.

00:30:01

And we love you. Just just come in and make yourself at home.

00:30:04

And being a part of an Anywhere group and creating your

00:30:09

community, I definitely feel like I have -- I wouldn't even

00:30:13

just say friends, but close friends.

00:30:14

People that in fact, we're gonna try to get to a baseball game

00:30:18

this weekend. I haven't been able to do that in 10 years.

00:30:23

It's very, very surreal.

00:30:26

>> Chuck went from me not adding him on the email chains,

00:30:30

letting him know that people were coming over to waking up

00:30:34

every Sunday morning going, "Are we having people over?

00:30:37

Should I make coffee?"

00:30:38

Crossroads not only has brought us closer to God, but closer

00:30:42

together. And we're so grateful for that.

00:30:48

>> I want that for you.

00:30:49

I want you to get to experience the life change and the deep

00:30:54

community and the relationship with God that Kari and Chuck

00:30:58

have gotten to experience.

00:30:59

Regardless if right now, you're sitting next to your wife on

00:31:02

the couch or you're by yourself driving in the car, I believe

00:31:06

God has really, really good things in store for you.

00:31:09

And it's going to take intentionality to get there, to get that

00:31:14

kind of personal growth, to get that kind of relationship with

00:31:18

God, to get that kind of friendship and community that's just

00:31:22

life altering.

00:31:23

So before we go any further, let me pray.

00:31:27

God, I am thankful for the Kerns and their generosity to be in

00:31:33

their home right now, thankful for their leadership to get to

00:31:36

bring together this group of people in this room at this time

00:31:40

to get to experience You get to experience community.

00:31:44

And I pray for more of that around the country.

00:31:46

I pray that more people will get to experience You and

00:31:49

experience community in fresh and growing ways.

00:31:52

So use my words today, God, to inspire and to ignite

00:31:56

intentionality in each and every one of us to go to a new place

00:32:00

with you and a new place in our relationships.

00:32:03

Amen.

00:32:05

So if you Google intentionality and just look at what Google

00:32:11

has to say about that, the definition on Google is something

00:32:15

that is done on purpose or something that's very deliberate.

00:32:21

And so if we want good things to grow, there are a few things

00:32:24

we need to do on purpose, a few things we need to be really

00:32:28

intentional about.

00:32:30

And the first one is that we have to be intentional with our

00:32:35

time.

00:32:36

Did you know that you have the same amount of time in a day as

00:32:39

Beyonce?

00:32:40

Did you know that, Nicholas?

00:32:42

No, you didn't. You do.

00:32:43

You have the exact same amount of time in a day as Beyonce.

00:32:47

And look at what Beyonce's doing.

00:32:49

Amazing things.

00:32:50

And you might not ever headline Coachella or write a song that

00:32:55

the whole world knows, but there are some ways that you could

00:33:00

be like Beyonce.

00:33:01

But here's the thing, I bet Beyonce doesn't have to wake up in

00:33:05

the morning, get her kids fed, get their kids out the door for

00:33:08

school, spend time her grandparents, do her dishes, do her

00:33:11

budget for work, budget for home, and get the dishes done, make

00:33:17

dinner, have great friendships and have fun with her husband

00:33:20

all at the same time.

00:33:22

I don't think that she has to do all of those things, even if

00:33:25

that's exactly what my Monday looked like, it's totally fine.

00:33:29

And nonetheless, she's got some pretty successful things going,

00:33:33

but she's got to be intentional with her time.

00:33:37

I told you what my Monday looked like legitimately.

00:33:40

I had all of those things to do.

00:33:43

Take my kid to the doctor, make dinner, spend time with my

00:33:45

grandparents, show up to all the meetings, create the budget

00:33:48

for work and for home and all of the other things that were on

00:33:51

my to do list that I did not get to on Monday.

00:33:55

And I actually think God cares about those things.

00:33:57

I actually think He cares about how we spend our time and

00:34:00

what's on our calendar.

00:34:01

Ephesians 5:15-17 says this:.

00:34:20

God actually cares about how we spend our time.

00:34:24

He even says make the best use of your time.

00:34:27

Don't just let your time happen to you.

00:34:29

Don't just let your day happen to you.

00:34:31

Be intentional.

00:34:32

Make the best use of your time.

00:34:36

Your calendar is your biggest indicator of what you value.

00:34:40

If you look at your calendar, it's gonna tell you you value

00:34:44

entertainment over your kids.

00:34:46

It's gonna show you you value work over friendships.

00:34:50

It's gonna show you you value your kids above all else.

00:34:55

It will show you -- It will show us what we value.

00:34:57

And if I'm being totally honest, the biggest stressor in my

00:35:00

life is my stinking calendar.

00:35:03

When I pull that thing up and I'm like, "I don't have 15

00:35:06

minutes to spare today until dinner.

00:35:08

I can like -- my heart starts to race and I sweat a little bit.

00:35:12

I just get stressed about my calendar.

00:35:15

And that happens when I'm not intentional about how I'm

00:35:19

spending my time, when I just let other people put things on my

00:35:23

calendar, when I let other people put to dos on my calendar,

00:35:26

when I think I have to do something because everybody's doing

00:35:29

it. But it actually doesn't really have purpose for me.

00:35:32

When I was writing this talk the other day.

00:35:35

Well, when I needed to write this talk the other day, I woke up

00:35:41

really early in the morning to do it because that's when I

00:35:43

actually have my best thinking, even though I hate waking up

00:35:45

early.

00:35:46

And I woke up before anybody else in my house was up.

00:35:50

And in the time that I could have been writing this talk or

00:35:55

finishing my budget or responding to the 205 emails in my

00:36:00

inbox. If you're one of them, I'm really sorry.

00:36:02

I'm getting to it, I promise.

00:36:05

I actually spent the first 45 minutes of my day with God.

00:36:08

And I did that because I knew all of the things that were

00:36:13

coming, and yet I felt like if I just did the things on my to

00:36:17

do list, it wasn't actually the most important thing in that

00:36:20

moment.

00:36:21

Now was spending time with God, did that put everything in

00:36:24

order and all of a sudden I wasn't stressed about anything and

00:36:26

it was all dandelions and butterflies?

00:36:30

Wait, that was terrible. Aren't dandelions weeds?

00:36:33

>> Okay. Butterflies and unicorns.

00:36:37

Thank you. That's what I"m -- that's exactly what I'm going

00:36:38

for, butterflies and unicorns.

00:36:40

It was not that.

00:36:41

But I will say I had a peace about me.

00:36:44

I could breathe.

00:36:45

And the rest of my day, even though it was booked every minute

00:36:49

up through dinner, it felt so much better because I was

00:36:54

centered on what was important first thing in the morning.

00:36:57

I had to be purposeful with that time.

00:37:00

Now I'm also a person who in general is way more purpose than I

00:37:04

am play.

00:37:06

I did community life with Greg MeElfresh, our Eastside

00:37:08

Community Pastor, a few weeks ago, and he joked.

00:37:10

And he was like, "You know, like you're all purpose and I'm all

00:37:14

And I was a little bit offended in the moment, if I'm being

00:37:17

honest. And that's not any surprise, something coming out of

00:37:20

Greg's mouth could always be offensive.

00:37:23

I love him so I can --We're friends.

00:37:25

I can say that.

00:37:26

But anyways, I thought about that, I'm like, "Am I really all

00:37:29

purpose?" And actually, I totally am.

00:37:33

I have to be really intentional about play because God wants us

00:37:38

to live a life that's full of purpose and full of play.

00:37:41

That's the best life we can live, the life that's the fullest

00:37:44

and the most thriving and the one that's most beautiful to Him.

00:37:48

And usually we swing one way or the other.

00:37:53

And so I had to look at my calendar and go, "Oh, my goodness, I

00:37:56

am full of purposeful things, not all that much play."

00:38:00

And so I have to intentionally after dinner make the decision

00:38:03

to not do the dishes until after my son goes to bed so that I

00:38:07

can just play with him outside.

00:38:09

Because otherwise I want things to be neat and in order and get

00:38:12

things done and feel accomplished.

00:38:13

And I miss the moments to jump on the trampoline or to play in

00:38:17

the water table or to take the wagon out for a spin.

00:38:20

I miss those moments if I'm not intentional about them.

00:38:24

I grew up playing tennis and I actually am -- I think I'm

00:38:31

actually pretty good at tennis if I do say so myself.

00:38:34

Maybe just because I grew up playing competitively.

00:38:37

And I hate to tell you right now that I've actually not played

00:38:41

tennis in over two years.

00:38:44

And it was such a huge part of my life and it brings me such

00:38:47

joy because it's purely play.

00:38:49

And so I recognize that moving forward I have to be way more

00:38:53

intentional about actually playing tennis so I have outlets for

00:38:57

that.

00:38:59

This idea of purpose and play is one that we've been talking

00:39:02

about, you're going to hear way more because we're doing a

00:39:05

whole all church Journey on Play & Purpose.

00:39:09

And I'm really excited to go through that.

00:39:11

Part of the reasons I'm -- one of the reasons I'm excited to go

00:39:13

through that is because these Journey experiences where we get

00:39:17

weekend teaching and group content and individual challenges

00:39:20

during the week have dramatically changed my life over the last

00:39:24

15 years.

00:39:25

One of the Journeys that I did was in college.

00:39:29

It was the Journey Home.

00:39:30

And in the midst of that, in college, I don't know what your

00:39:34

college experience was like or what your college experience is

00:39:37

like right now, but it was a heck of a lot of play for me.

00:39:41

A lot of play, not much purpose outside of class.

00:39:46

And so there was this yearning in me for like a little more

00:39:51

purpose. And I didn't know what or how.

00:39:53

And so at Crossroads we were talking about this Journey and

00:39:57

everybody should get into a group and lead a group and join a

00:40:00

group. And I thought, "Well.

00:40:04

Maybe this is something I should do, it sounds a little bit

00:40:07

more meaningful than heading to Happy Hour or going to that

00:40:13

party or whatever the thing was."

00:40:15

And so a few friends and I invited in a few other friends to my

00:40:19

house in college to do the Journey Home.

00:40:22

And I remember vividly having 17 people around my college

00:40:26

living room.

00:40:27

People were like on the floor, out in like little hallway.

00:40:32

And we did this Journey and I felt this sense of purpose and

00:40:38

meaning. And like I was doing something intentional and good

00:40:43

and right that was going to put my life on a different

00:40:45

trajectory.

00:40:46

And out of that Journey is actually how Crossroads Uptown was

00:40:49

born, out of being intentional with my time when I could have

00:40:54

been doing so many other things, I chose to do the Journey and

00:40:59

a freakin church was started.

00:41:02

I didn't see that one coming.

00:41:04

Maybe the intentional thing that you need to do with your time

00:41:07

is going to start a thriving community in the city where you

00:41:10

live, maybe even a church.

00:41:13

Maybe that's what's going to happen right here in Dallas.

00:41:15

That is what's happening right here in Dallas when you choose

00:41:18

to be intentional with your time.

00:41:20

So if it's not a heck, yes, it's a no, thank you.

00:41:24

Those are your options when it comes to your calendar.

00:41:26

If it's not a heck, yes, it's a no, thank you, because we want

00:41:29

to be intentional with our time if we want good things to grow.

00:41:33

And the second thing that is really important when we're

00:41:37

looking at wanting good growth and good things to happen is if

00:41:40

we want good growth in our life, we have to be intentional with

00:41:45

who we spend our time with.

00:41:51

It's one thing to get the right things on your calendar at the

00:41:53

right times. It's a whole nother thing to do the things with

00:41:59

people who are going to have fun with you and sharpen you,

00:42:05

actually make you better.

00:42:07

And in the Bible this is talked about.

00:42:12

It's talked about in Hebrews 10 and it says this:.

00:42:33

Now, this scripture is wildly important for us as a church

00:42:37

because we want to do everything we possibly can so that you

00:42:42

hear about Jesus in a language you can understand, so that your

00:42:45

friends and your family and your neighbors hear about Jesus in

00:42:49

a language they can understand.

00:42:50

So one of the things, one of the hills we're always going to

00:42:53

die on is culturally current communication.

00:42:56

The way that you would find out about something else, we want

00:43:00

you to find out about Jesus.

00:43:01

And so that's why we have the app and we have streaming and we

00:43:05

have a great Website.

00:43:06

And you can read articles and listen to podcasts because the

00:43:10

same ways you would consume other things, we want you to be

00:43:13

able to consume something that's going to take you deeper in a

00:43:16

relationship with God.

00:43:17

And at the same time, we believe really, really deeply in the

00:43:22

scripture and Hebrews 10 that we can't neglect meeting together

00:43:27

and encouraging one another and being with other people.

00:43:31

And so if you're just checking out the church for the first few

00:43:34

times or you're on your way to or from somewhere and you're

00:43:39

streaming, you're watching online.

00:43:41

We are so, so, so glad to have you.

00:43:43

If you're in a city where there's not a physical Crossroads

00:43:46

location and this is your church, we are so glad to have you

00:43:50

online.

00:43:51

It is a privilege and an honor to get to have you as part of

00:43:54

our church.

00:43:55

And I hope that you are not stopping at watching or listening

00:44:00

or reading by yourself, that you're not neglecting to spend

00:44:04

time with other people, because that's where we get the best

00:44:09

kind of growth. That's where we get the good stuff.

00:44:11

Not the weeds, but the tulips, not the weeds, but the daisies,

00:44:17

not dandelions, is when we actually get to spend time with

00:44:20

other people.

00:44:23

We have opportunities to do this all the time, and yet we often

00:44:28

just choose not to because it's easier to do the thing by

00:44:31

myself or it's easier to do the thing with my high school

00:44:33

friends or it's easier to do the thing with the neighbor.

00:44:37

And that's really, really important.

00:44:40

You have to build those relationships.

00:44:42

We have to build those relationships.

00:44:43

And we can't only be in relationships that are convenient in

00:44:47

the moment.

00:44:48

We need to be intentional with spending time with people who we

00:44:52

actually enjoy being with, who are fun and are going to bring

00:44:57

us more play in our lives.

00:44:59

And with people who are going to sharpen us, who are going to

00:45:04

encourage us, as that verse says, and who are going to bring

00:45:08

more purpose into our lives.

00:45:11

One of the other journeys that I got the joy of doing over the

00:45:16

last few years at Crossroads was the Obsessed Journey.

00:45:20

That was the last journey that we did about 18 months ago or

00:45:24

so.

00:45:25

It was the first journey that my husband and I did together

00:45:29

married. I think that's right, I think it was the first one.

00:45:32

Nothing says you're married like a Journey about your finances,

00:45:35

right?

00:45:37

It was all about money and about how our money declares what

00:45:40

we're obsessed with. And so we thought this would be a really

00:45:43

good time to try to make some other married friends.

00:45:47

We had lots of friends separate.

00:45:49

We had some single friends, older friends, younger friends, we

00:45:51

had some married friends. But we didn't have anybody who we

00:45:54

weren't intentionally spending our time with in order to make

00:45:58

life more fun and to make life more meaningful.

00:46:02

And so we said, OK, this is the time.

00:46:04

So we knew a few couples that we were like, we think we could

00:46:08

be friends with them, but we're not exactly sure.

00:46:10

Like, how do you go about making new friends when you just get

00:46:13

married?

00:46:14

I don't know. If you figured it out, more power to you.

00:46:17

This was our best shot.

00:46:19

It might be your best shot, the Journey coming up, to make some

00:46:22

new married friends, but nonetheless.

00:46:23

So we invited these people into our house and we did the

00:46:27

Journey together. And it was probably our very first night, one

00:46:32

of the couples who really didn't know anybody else in the room

00:46:35

said -- the wife totally outed the husband, totally and said,

00:46:41

"I just want you to know that on our drive here, Johnny said,

00:46:44

'I hope that these people aren't a bunch of duds.'"

00:46:47

And so we go into this first meeting like, oh, no, we've got to

00:46:51

prove ourselves. I hope we're not duds.

00:46:53

Are we duds?

00:46:55

So the whole Journey was this ongoing joke, like, "OK, so are

00:47:00

we out of the dud category yet or are we still duds?".

00:47:04

And, you know, I think that's a real risk when we intentionally

00:47:07

spend time with people there's this fear that maybe they're

00:47:12

going to be really boring or really weird or maybe I'm gonna be

00:47:15

the really boring or the really weird one in the room.

00:47:18

Maybe I'm a dud.

00:47:19

We have those fears.

00:47:21

They're real and I get it.

00:47:22

And if you have those fears, they're real and I get it.

00:47:27

I'll say in that Journey group, man, those people became the

00:47:31

most non-duds in my life.

00:47:34

So much fun, so much purpose.

00:47:37

We've now gone camping together.

00:47:39

We've continued meeting together as a group.

00:47:42

We get our kids together.

00:47:43

We've celebrated new homes together.

00:47:46

We've dug into hard stuff in our marriages together.

00:47:49

It's been so good.

00:47:50

And it started by taking a step and saying, "OK, we're

00:47:53

intentionally going to put this thing on our calendar and we've

00:47:56

intentionally decided you're the people we want to do this

00:48:01

with."

00:48:02

If we want a life that is good and growing.

00:48:05

We have to be intentional with who we spend our time with.

00:48:08

Man, if those people can be people that you can play with and

00:48:14

have purpose with, oh, life gets so, so, so much better.

00:48:20

The last point is that if we want to see good things grow in

00:48:26

our lives, we have to be intentional with what we do with those

00:48:31

people.

00:48:32

It doesn't stop with, "OK.

00:48:34

We've carved out some time and we invited the people.

00:48:37

Now lives can be great.".

00:48:39

I'll tell you, this group that we did the Obsessed Journey

00:48:41

with, we've struggled with this where we've carved out time.

00:48:46

We really like each other.

00:48:48

And then sometimes we'll get around the dinner table or we'll

00:48:50

get into someone's living room and we've not been intentional

00:48:53

about what we're gonna do.

00:48:55

And we end up just having totally like surface level talk and

00:48:59

walk out and go, "I think that was fun.

00:49:01

Was it? Was it fun?"

00:49:02

And then we've had to talk about that after the fact and go,

00:49:05

"Okay. We weren't really intentional about was this supposed to

00:49:09

be like a really fun time together?

00:49:11

Was this supposed to be a really purposeful time together?"

00:49:14

And so I will say, even if you've got the first two of time and

00:49:19

people, there's a whole another layer of being intentional

00:49:23

about what you do with those people.

00:49:28

Jesus gives us a starting point for how to have good fruit, not

00:49:33

weeds, good fruit that come out of us growing in our lives.

00:49:39

And he says this in John, 15.

00:49:41

PSA, if you're looking for like a good chapter of the Bible to

00:49:45

just spend a lot of time on over like a whole month, just kind

00:49:50

of verse by verse, John 15 is a great one because it's packed

00:49:53

full of all kinds of rich things that you can go, "What does

00:49:56

this say about God and what does this say about me?"

00:49:59

So I'm going to read you a few of these verses and here's what

00:50:01

it says. Jesus says:.

00:50:21

Or maybe he's like a weed

00:50:41

Jesus says, "You want good things to grow, fruit to grow?

00:50:45

Well, you've got to spend time with me.

00:50:48

You've got to be on the same page as me.

00:50:50

You've got to recognize that you belong to me."

00:50:55

I think we all want life that's vibrant and meaningful.

00:51:00

And yet many of us live lives that are stressful and boring.

00:51:06

God wants to offer us a life that prospers and is also actually

00:51:13

really fun to live.

00:51:17

The mission of our lives can become really, really clear if we

00:51:21

get really, really clear on who Jesus is and what he means to

00:51:25

us.

00:51:27

And the cool thing is we can put Him to the test, these versus

00:51:30

and see if He delivers.

00:51:32

Can we spend more time with Him and become more like Him and

00:51:35

see if actually good things start to grow?

00:51:38

Because I mean, I don't know what the risk is in doing that

00:51:41

other than good things could grow and whatever we ask for will

00:51:47

be done for us.

00:51:48

That's what this verse says.

00:51:49

I want that.

00:51:51

If we carve out time, be intentional about who we spend that

00:51:57

time with and then we go after God with those people in some

00:52:01

way, shape or form, not always in like a really deep and heavy

00:52:06

way, but sometimes in a light and fun and joyful way, our lives

00:52:13

are going to change.

00:52:14

We are going to grow and good things are gonna start to spring

00:52:19

out of us.

00:52:20

And I want that for you.

00:52:21

I want that for me.

00:52:23

As a teenager is when I did my very first life -- or I did my

00:52:28

very first Journey. It was called the Life Journey.

00:52:32

And once again, it was like the whole church is doing groups,

00:52:35

so get in a group. And I said, OK.

00:52:39

And so I got in a group with a bunch of other teenage girls and

00:52:43

a really kind, sweet, crazy 20 something that decided to lead

00:52:49

teenagers through the Journey.

00:52:51

Her name's Sarah.

00:52:53

And we started to do this Journey group together.

00:52:56

And in the midst of it we had all kinds of play and all kinds

00:52:59

of purpose and all kinds of fun and all kinds of meaning.

00:53:02

And that group continued to meet together.

00:53:04

And we met as a group.

00:53:06

We did -- We went on a Go Trip together.

00:53:11

We went on vacations together.

00:53:13

We celebrated together.

00:53:14

We went through different books of the Bible together.

00:53:17

And 15 years later, two of those girls were standing next to me

00:53:21

on my wedding day.

00:53:23

That leader, I still get beers with just about every Tuesday

00:53:27

night.

00:53:28

We're now in a group together.

00:53:32

Another Journey that I did, the Brave Journey, in the midst of

00:53:36

that I was single, just out of college.

00:53:40

And I decided to host in my little tiny apartment and I invited

00:53:46

all kinds of random friends into it who I really loved and they

00:53:50

were people I intentionally wanted to spend time with.

00:53:53

They weren't part of the church.

00:53:54

They just were people I liked and wanted to spend time with.

00:53:57

And so all these people said yes, because one of two things,

00:54:01

either one, they wanted to spend their time going deeper with

00:54:06

God. That was like maybe three of them.

00:54:09

The other eight just said yes, because they liked me and were

00:54:12

good friends.

00:54:14

Actually, one of them I didn't even tell this was a church

00:54:16

group. I just said she was coming over for a wine night.

00:54:19

A little bait and switch.

00:54:22

Nevertheless, that girl ended up receiving Jesus shortly after

00:54:27

that. And I got the joy of getting to baptize her.

00:54:29

And now she leads a community of people.

00:54:32

In the midst of that Journey I heard God really clearly say

00:54:34

that I needed to completely let go of an unhealthy relationship

00:54:38

that I was holding on to.

00:54:39

And I didn't want to do it. I was like, OH, I don't think

00:54:42

that's right.

00:54:43

And I was actually embarrassed to say that in a room full of

00:54:45

people, because who wants to say that?

00:54:47

And who wants to like, go there?

00:54:50

But I did.

00:54:51

They were like, "Yep, I think that's right.

00:54:53

I think you need to just cut that off."

00:54:55

And so I did what they said.

00:54:56

I did what God said. And it was that week that I met my now

00:55:00

husband.

00:55:02

It was because of setting aside time, being intentional with

00:55:07

who I was spending time with and intentional about what we did

00:55:09

together, that I've gotten so many great gifts from God over

00:55:15

the last few years.

00:55:17

In the Book of James, it actually talks just about this.

00:55:21

James, one says:.

00:55:31

I believe that there is a really good gift waiting for you from

00:55:34

God. A perfect gift that's on the other side of intentionality.

00:55:40

It's on the other side of being intentional.

00:55:45

Maybe it's friends to stand next to you on your wedding day.

00:55:49

Maybe it's a friend who's still gonna be your friend 15 years

00:55:53

from now, that you're still gonna get drinks with.

00:55:56

Maybe it's the friends who you actually will get the joy of

00:56:00

watching their lives completely change and entering into a

00:56:04

relationship with God for the very first time.

00:56:07

Maybe it's that God wants you to start a church.

00:56:10

He wants you to start a beautiful, thriving community in the

00:56:14

city that you're in that will flourish and become a full and

00:56:19

beautiful and thriving church.

00:56:22

Maybe it's that He just wants you to have friends who aren't

00:56:25

duds.

00:56:26

Maybe He's got some non-dud friends waiting for you.

00:56:30

Maybe it's your husband or your wife.

00:56:33

Maybe it's purely just a deepened relationship with Him.

00:56:38

Those are a few of the good gifts that I've received from God

00:56:41

in the midst of being intentional with my time and my people

00:56:45

and the stuff I do with those people.

00:56:48

And really, really specifically, those are all very specific

00:56:53

gifts from God that came when I was intentional about getting

00:56:57

into a group.

00:56:59

When I was intentional about doing the All-Church Journey.

00:57:04

That feels like, man, we get up here and we talk about this and

00:57:07

we say this all the time, "Get with other people, get with a

00:57:10

group, do the Journey, it's gonna be amazing.".

00:57:13

And I'm telling you, get with people, get in a group, do the

00:57:19

Journey, it's going to be amazing.

00:57:22

Because I believe that God has for you a life that is full of

00:57:25

play and purpose, a life that's thriving and full and enjoyable

00:57:32

and one that's more godlike for you.

00:57:38

And I've experienced really, really good gifts from God in the

00:57:41

midst of going out on a limb and joining a Journey group or

00:57:45

hosting a Journey group.

00:57:47

And I believe God has a really, really good gifts for you on

00:57:50

the other side of being intentional in that.

00:57:54

No one's going to like know right now if you do or don't do

00:57:58

this. I can't force you into anything, but I can tell you that

00:58:04

if you don't do this, you might miss out on something really

00:58:08

special.

00:58:09

And this is one of the ways that there could be good fruit

00:58:13

instead of weeds that grow in your life.

00:58:20

Let's pray.

00:58:21

God, we thank You for this opportunity to get to spend time

00:58:24

with You and with other people.

00:58:26

And I just ask that You would be showing us the places that we

00:58:30

need to be intentional with our time, who we need to spend that

00:58:34

time with and what You want us to do with those people.

00:58:37

And God, I pray that there would be thousands of us this

00:58:39

weekend that would sign up to lead and join Journey groups.

00:58:44

Be bringing to mind the people that You want us to invite to do

00:58:48

the Journey with us, our friends and our neighbors and our

00:58:51

co-workers, God, who want a little more play and a little more

00:58:55

purpose in their lives.

00:58:57

Bring us closer to You in the midst of this.

00:59:00

Amen.

00:59:03

Hey, thanks so much for joining us on Crossroads Anywhere this

00:59:06

weekend.

00:59:07

Don't forget that if you are normally part of another

00:59:10

Crossroads community, you can check out what your community

00:59:13

pastor had to say this weekend live at the site.

00:59:16

You can head to Crossroads Facebook page actually to start

00:59:20

following your local Facebook page, whether it's Crossroads

00:59:23

Mason or Crossroads Florence or Crossroads Anywhere.

00:59:27

And you'll get all kinds of great videos, great content and

00:59:30

stuff directly from your community pastor there.

00:59:34

Next week, we get to hear from Brian Tome, our Senior Pastor,

00:59:38

and see what his adventure to Phantom Lake was like just a few

00:59:43

months ago.

00:59:44

We'll see you back next week.

00:59:45

Don't forget to sign up for the Play & Purpose Journey.

00:59:48

See you later.

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