Anxiety has been a part of our story for various reasons the last few years. On a difficult day last July, I was having an emotional and honest conversation with God about where we were in this struggle with anxiety. I clearly remember asking God, “Why would you give me a husband who struggles with anxiety like this?!” Immediately I sensed God’s response: “I am drawing him to myself, Jenni.” What a wave of peace that brought! There was purpose to my frustrations. God was using this. Even this!
In the midst of one of our more difficult weeks in our journey, Trevor was at a local hospital for some medical testing. He saw a verse from Psalm 34 displayed on a plaque. Later that day, after experiencing a mild panic attack, he went out on our porch to read, pray, and journal. He chose to open the Bible to Psalm 34. Verse 4 jumped out at him as he read, “I sought the Lord and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” During the thickest moments of desperation, we would repeat this verse over and over out loud. But Trevor’s anxiety continued.
Breakthrough finally came one Sunday morning. Trevor’s anxiety was terrible as we took a seat in the back of the church, ready to make a quick exit. Trevor sat down and immediately buried his face in his hands. And then, out of nowhere, the words appeared on the screen.
No one read it out loud, no one referenced it…it just hung there: “I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” -Psalm 34:4.
I urgently began pounding on Trevor’s shoulder to get his attention. I just pointed to the front of the room. Immediately, tears and sobbing overtook both of us. We had shed many tears over the past few days, but these tears were different; they were given from a place of relief, comfort and unexpected grace. I felt like God was confirming for us that we’re “exactly where we need to be”. He is using this. He is not wasting it. He is not distant or detached. We are not alone. -Jennifer H.